The definition of "death" is painfully vague. What constitutes "death"? The answer likely varies for everyone. Shidou Itsuka, a boy immersed in abnormality, clung to ordinary ethics. By his own admission, he was a small, unremarkable person with common thoughts.
What did "death" mean to Shidou—disappearance? He'd never deeply considered it.
But on this day, Shidou learned. Separation was terrifying, irreversible, and cruel to those left behind.
In Fraxinus's break area, a modest space unlike the bustling dining hall, a few vending machines and two long benches stood in quiet simplicity. Foot traffic was sparse—exactly what Shidou needed now.
"—So this is where you were."
He knew someone had entered but couldn't muster the energy to look up. Yet the voice of a beloved girl pulled his sinking consciousness back to reality.
"Kurumi…"
"I searched for you. The crew's in a panic, saying you slipped away from your checkup."
Raising his head slowly, he saw Kurumi Tokisaki, her jet-black hair tied in twin tails, dressed in her gothic black attire. Her teasing expression softened with relief at seeing him.
Just her presence, a growing part of his everyday life, reminded him of its immense value. Suppressing the emotions welling up, he held firm.
"…What about your checkup?"
"I got bored, so I slipped away."
"…"
A spirit dismissing a critical post-battle checkup with "bored" was typical. As a focal point of reiryoku, she should've undergone thorough exams like the others, but as an unsealed spirit, her free will couldn't be restrained. Shidou could easily picture her dodging Fraxinus's crew with her sly smile.
"Bored," she said, but Shidou wasn't fooled. Her coming here was proof, and she'd likely checked on her condition en route.
"…How is she?"
"No threat to her life, they say. We owe Kotori a great debt."
"Then treat her to something sweet later. She loves that stuff."
"Oh my, like someone else we know… Though I doubt Kotori would accept a gift from me."
Kurumi shrugged playfully, and Shidou let out a dry laugh before falling silent again.
Seconds, perhaps minutes, passed. A painful silence echoed in the room, broken only by the faint ticking of a clock, reminding him Kurumi was there. He felt both deep relief and a desire to hide this version of himself.
"Kurumi, I'm sorry, but I'd like to be alone—"
Before he could finish, Kurumi sat beside him on the bench, her scent close enough to stir his senses.
"If I were in your place, Shidou-san… would you leave me alone?"
"…!"
If Kurumi bared such vulnerability, the old Shidou, who saw her as unyieldingly strong, might've thought it impossible. But knowing her fragile side, he couldn't ignore her.
"…No way I'd let that slide."
"Exactly. So it's the same for me."
With that, Kurumi sat quietly beside him, her doll-like beauty almost otherworldly, yet her faint warmth proved she was alive.
That small gesture threatened to break his dammed emotions. Clenching his fists and biting his lip, he held back. He couldn't let it spill. If he did, it felt like it would all end.
"…Shidou-san."
"—I won't cry."
A single, strong yet fragile word. He couldn't cry. If he did, it would mean Mayuri was truly—
"If I cry… it'll mean Mayuri's really…"
Gone. Accepting that felt like erasing her existence, as if her tears would wash away her very being.
"So I won't cry. I—"
Hug. A soft warmth enveloped him. It took only a moment to realize Kurumi had pulled him into her chest. Her embrace was so gentle, warm, and full of care that his resolve nearly crumbled. Shaking his head in a final act of resistance, he spoke.
"Stop…! I… I…!"
"Mayuri-san's feelings haven't vanished."
Her calm voice made him freeze, his body trembling.
"What made Mayuri-san may be gone. But the source that birthed her… that will never vanish."
"…Your feelings…"
"Yes. Just as our feelings remain, Mayuri-san's feelings must endure too."
Mayuri's reiryoku, formed by their feelings, was sealed within Shidou, causing her to vanish. But if she was born from their feelings, as long as those remained, Mayuri existed.
"But if you stay like this, Mayuri-san won't find peace. Accept it… and let her live on."
"…Kurumi…"
Mayuri existed within Shidou, Kurumi, and the others. Without acceptance, she'd truly vanish.
"I couldn't… save her…!!"
He'd let her slip through his fingers, an irretrievable loss. Kurumi, holding him, gently stroked his hair, shaking her head to refute his regret.
"No, no. You did save her, Shidou-san. In the end, you saved her heart. Meeting you… gave her irreplaceable happiness."
Nothing in the world could overshadow that joy, Kurumi knew. And if Kurumi knew, so did Mayuri. She accepted her cruel fate because Shidou embraced all of her—her desire to live, to love, to be known. In his arms, Mayuri found fulfillment.
She wasn't born to vanish.
"So it's okay to cry… Your tears won't erase her—they'll accept her."
"…Ah, ah…"
To be by Shidou's side, to hold onto someone precious, never to lose what he'd lost—
"Ugh… aaah, AAAAAH—!!"
He carved her existence into himself.
For spirits, sleep wasn't strictly necessary. Calling unconsciousness "sleep" was a bit misleading. Still, even for spirits, sleep was far more efficient for maintaining their condition, conserving energy. Especially for an imperfect, flawed being.
But the girl found sleep difficult. Not the act itself, but what came after—dreams.
"—Tch, what a mess. I didn't mean to lie."
A single bullet from the reaper. Her nightmares always began there. Ironic for Nightmare's vassal to dream of nightmares.
The bullet pierced his chest, and he fell. Another self, not her, watched. Watched despair. Watched an irreversible choice.
Repeating, repeating, repeating. The world's start, the journey's start, the tragedy's start—endlessly repeating.
For the girl, memory wasn't subjective. It couldn't be. Otherwise, she'd break. Unlike Mayuri, she wasn't strong. She had to accept it objectively as her origin—how many times had she cursed that innate answer?
Even if not subjective, it influenced her. Her memory shaped her, and hating these nightmares, where sleep offered no rest, proved it.
Reliving sadness and despair, screaming and crying, she threw words at her beloved queen, even if taken as irony.
Please, in your sleep… see good dreams.
Awakening from a nightmare typically involved a scream, but not for her. Too shocked to scream, she saw a face peering at her own.
Anyone would freeze at a beauty with dark circles staring at them upon waking. For the girl, it wasn't just that.
"…What are you doing?"
"…You were having a nightmare."
"…I see."
Her weak voice responded to the vague answer. Speaking, lying in bed—she was alive, at least.
"…I failed to die, huh?"
"…Thank Kotori. She used nearly all her reiryoku to heal you, despite the Medical Realizer's limited effect."
"…I caused her unnecessary trouble."
The roundabout "limited effect" suggested the Realizer worked slightly. Realizing she'd been in worse danger than she thought, she felt detached, almost as if she'd wanted it.
She was being pulled. Forcing down that impulse, she continued.
"…Mayuri?"
Silence answered.
"…I see."
A cold, emotionless murmur. She'd already said goodbye. Abandoning Mayuri was her choice—she couldn't regret it. Questions lingered, but she'd ask the one who witnessed Mayuri's end.
"…Kurumi and Shidou Itsuka?"
"…Both in checkups. All the spirits—including you."
Her finger twitched. Glancing at Reine, their eyes met, though whether Reine noticed was unclear. As if seeing through her, Reine spoke quietly.
"…I took the liberty of analyzing your weakened angel."
"…Only you know?"
"…Yes."
"…Then you know what I want to say."
Don't tell anyone—not Shidou, not Kotori, not even Kurumi. Reine's slight frown showed she understood.
"…But you—"
"…Keep quiet, and I'll make you an offer in your interest."
Reine's body shifted, looking at her. The girl was certain Reine would accept.
"…What is it?"
"…If something unavoidable happens… no matter what, I'll protect him."
"…!!"
Reine's rare shock was perceptible only to the girl. She wouldn't refuse—not as her.
"…No need to answer. I know you'll agree. It's a bit unfair, since I'd protect Shidou anyway."
It was slightly underhanded, but she used what worked. Shidou was central to the plan, but that wasn't all.
"…I'm pretty fond of him."
"…May I ask why?"
"…Sure. There are reasons, but the biggest is… he truly loves all of Kurumi."
That alone. Because he loved Kurumi, vowed to protect her, and did so sincerely, she chose to bet on hope—not just wish, but commit.
Who spoke next—her or Reine? Neither. The medbay door opened, footsteps echoing.
"You're awake. How do you feel?"
"…Kurumi. Shidou Itsuka."
No feigning sleep with her hood on. Kurumi, noticing her consciousness, smiled elegantly, Shidou behind her.
"What were you and Reine-sensei discussing? I'm curious."
"…How wonderful Shidou Itsuka is."
"What!?"
"Oh my, what a splendid topic. Let me join."
"No way that's what you were talking about!"
"…We were. I won't tell you the details, though. Right, Analyst?"
"…Yes, Shin can't know."
Both pressed fingers to their lips, signaling a secret. Shidou looked unconvinced, while Kurumi giggled.
"Hehe… Looks like there's no need to worry anymore."
"…Yes. Sorry for the trouble. I ended up making you use extra reiryoku."
"No matter. If it bothers you, repay me with interest later."
"…I will—sorry."
"…For what?"
For acting on her own? For worrying Kurumi despite knowing better? Facing Kurumi's serious gaze, the girl continued.
"…A lot. I probably won't change. I'll use this life for my purpose. I might not follow your orders. There are things… I can't say."
"…."
"…Even so, will you keep me by your side, my queen?"
She might betray Kurumi's trust or fail her kindness. Still, her everything was for Kurumi Tokisaki, her queen.
"You're truly… hopeless."
Kurumi gently clasped her hand, accepting her devotion. To call herself Kurumi's while disobeying was absurd, but Kurumi wasn't so narrow-minded.
"Of course, of course. My accomplice. But nothing stays unchanged. As I changed, I believe you will too."
"…We'll see."
"Ki, hihihi! One thing won't change—I'm entrusted with your life. Right… you who affirms all of me?"
She'd change the unchanging girl, affirming her despite her self-denial. Just as Kurumi changed, thanks to a beloved boy.
The girl couldn't deny Kurumi's belief.
"Even if my hard-thought answers are… whatever they may be, you'll affirm them, won't you?"
"…That's really unfair."
"It's my way to use what works. You know that."
"…I do."
Always. Kurumi spared no means for her goals, forced to be so—yet hated breaking promises.
At this point, the girl could only surrender, sighing.
"…Understood, my queen."
"Yes, yes. I believe… in my mysterious vassal."
Kurumi's playful smile held conviction, trusting an unclear existence. Shidou, watching with relief, seemed to see where that kindness came from.
What happens when a naturally kind person is opened by someone profound? The girl sighed under her hood, a faint, joyful smile forming.
"…By the way, what about your checkups?"
Reine's sharp remark cut through, perfectly timed. Kurumi flashed a charming smile.
"Oh, I completed mine earlier. Right, Shidou-san?"
"Y-Yeah! All good!"
"…Then let's do a recheck. Both of you."
Kurumi's smooth dodge was futile—Shidou's guilty expression gave them away. Kurumi sighed as if she hadn't meant to deceive, while Shidou looked sheepish.
"Sorry, Reine-san…"
"…No, I lacked consideration. My apologies."
What Shidou—and Kurumi—had been doing was clear from his eyes. As Reine bowed, Shidou waved it off.
"No… I'm okay now. Really."
"…I see."
His expression held sadness but also resolve to move forward. Reine, slightly relieved, glanced at Kurumi, who shrugged innocently.
"…Shidou Itsuka."
"What?"
"…I need to ask something."
Before he left, she had to know something only Shidou, who witnessed Mayuri's end, could answer.
"Did Mayuri… cry at the end?"
"…!"
A painful, rude question, but necessary. Did the ending she changed fulfill Mayuri's hopes? Shidou, swallowing hard, answered without looking away.
"She was smiling. Mayuri… had a smile."
The boy saw her final expression, born of love, accepting her inevitable end with fulfilled happiness.
"She said, 'I was satisfied,' and asked me to tell you."
"…I see. She passed… fulfilled, smiling."
The girl, who didn't save her, had screamed against a cruel end. Knowing it was fulfilled, she counted one sin. She'd carry the unsaved, tears forbidden as the one who chose not to save—a dishonor to Mayuri's words.
"…Shidou Itsuka. Will you… keep her memory?"
"I won't forget. Never."
Hand on his chest, Shidou vowed. As long as he and the others remembered, Mayuri existed. He believed because he could.
"She was born from everyone's reiryoku, living in Toka, Yoshino, Kaguya, Yuzuru, Miku, me, Kurumi… and you. That's what I believe."
"…A wonderful answer, so like you all."
Some might call it sentimentality or denial. But they accepted her existence, carving it into their hearts. The girl could accept that strength if Shidou said so.
"…Thank you, Shidou."
For the first time, he felt he saw her expression through her hood.
Tap. The white-clad girl landed in the shrine grounds. Before her were two tied omikuji—one Shidou's, the other… a whimsical, honest girl's proof. Unable to let go, hoping for a fleeting date, her feelings.
"…I'll join you soon."
The story's fate neared its end. Until then, she spoke to her friend.
"…See you again, Mayuri."
May her rest be peaceful.
As if in reply, golden feathers crossed with white… and flew away.
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