The first thing Lin Feng felt was dirt. Dry, cracked, sun-scorched earth beneath his back, pressed against the sides of his neck, his hoodie soaked with sweat. The sky above him was a hazy reddish-orange, like sunset had bled into radiation. The air stank of metal, ozone, and distant burning.
He groaned, eyes fluttering open.
"Captain?"
A girl's voice — soft, robotic, and just a little awkward.
"C-Captain, your vitals are stabilizing. Are you functional?"
Another voice cut in, this one way cockier: "Well if he's not, I'm not doing mouth-to-mouth. I don't care how cute he is."
Then a third voice, serene and eerie: "The light brought him here. Just as the dream said."
Finally, a fourth piped up — bubbly, high-pitched, and waaaay too cheerful for a literal wasteland. "Producer-samaaa! You're awake! We were getting so worried~!"
Lin blinked rapidly and sat up.
"Wh-what the fu—?"
He was surrounded.
By girls.
No — not girls. Hot, anime-level women, all of them looking straight at him with... affection?
His eyes darted from face to face.
The one closest to him had long silvery-blue hair, tied in a single low braid that shimmered faintly with frost. She wore a black and ice-blue combat suit so tight it looked painted on, the chest area snug against her perfectly shaped C-cup breasts. Her porcelain skin seemed untouched by sun or dirt. Eyes: sharp, icy blue, and slitted like a cat's. She kneeled beside him stiffly, her hands glowing faintly from some kind of neural scan.
"C-Captain," she said again, voice low and flat. "This unit is Yue Qingling. Codename: Frost Lotus. I was assigned to your command per Eros System bonding protocol."
"Y-yeah," Lin stammered, already sweating. "Uh, h-hi. I, uh, I'm Lin Feng, and you're... you're really— I mean, you look— I mean— thank you for— uh..."
Qingling tilted her head slightly. "You are malfunctioning. I will retrieve water."
She stood up with eerie grace, cold air trailing behind her.
Before Lin could recover, the second girl stepped forward — a head taller than Yue, tan-skinned, hair a wild strawberry-blonde ponytail, with fierce green-gray eyes that glittered with mischief. She had an athletic body with solid muscle on lean curves, her D-cup breasts straining against a black tank top smeared with dirt and grease. Her combat leggings hugged thick thighs holstered with magazines and sidearms.
She smirked and squatted beside him, elbow on her knee.
"Name's Sierra Maddox, sugar," she said, accent thick with Texas desert. "Codename's Gunbunny Valkyrie. I shoot, I shout, and I shake my ass like a freedom flag when necessary."
Lin gawked. "I—I—hi! I—I like guns. I mean, not in like a creepy way. Not like a school shooter, I swear. You're, uh, really fit. Like, hot fit. And, uh, confident. I mean, I like that. Is that weird? I mean—"
Sierra laughed so hard she slapped his shoulder.
"Oh, I am gonna have fun with you, pretty boy."
He nearly melted into the dirt.
A soft tapping sound followed. The third girl approached barefoot. She wore a tattered white ceremonial dress under a black shawl stitched from cloth that looked like ruined hymn banners. Her skin was pale to the point of translucence, veins like silver threads under glass. Her jet-black hair hung down to her shoulders in a straight curtain, and her B-cup chest barely moved with her ghost-like steps.
She knelt down beside him, her pale violet eyes glowing faintly.
"You may call me Celestine," she whispered. "My voice and soul belong to you, Catalyst. I saw you in the dreams between timelines. Your arrival completes the prophecy."
"P-prophecy?" Lin squeaked.
"Mm." She leaned in close. "I've waited lifetimes for this moment."
Lin couldn't breathe.
She reached out and gently touched his cheek with fingers cold as death.
"I marked your aura before birth. We are bound in spiral. Please do not die too quickly."
"Y-y-you too," he stuttered. "I mean, no! I won't! I'll try not to! D-dying, I mean! Not... uh, never mind."
The last girl crashed into the scene like a meteor.
Literally.
"PRODUCER-SAMAAAAAA~!!"
Before Lin could react, a blur of brown and pink twin tails tackled him to the chest, sending him crashing back onto the cracked dirt. A girl, much shorter than the others, now sat on top of him.
She wore a torn idol uniform — cropped sailor blouse, armored skirt, thigh-high boots with frayed fishnets. Her C-cup breasts jiggled through the open buttons as she bounced excitedly on his chest. Her eyes sparkled like literal stars, honey-brown with pink starlight pupils.
"I'm Yuzuki Hoshino! Codename: Radiant Blade Idol! I'm here to sing, slice, and SERVE YOUUU! Desu!"
Lin wheezed beneath her.
"Oh my God, I'm gonna die from boob impact," he whimpered. "And you're adorable. Please never leave. Also could you, like, maybe get off my chest, I think my rib is broken—"
Yuzuki gasped and jumped back. "Waaaah! I'm sorry Producer-sama! I just got excited! I trained for this moment for so long!"
Yue returned, handing him a small canteen with perfectly measured water.
"Vitals remain stable," she said. "Good. We can now begin our formation protocols."
Sierra cocked her pistol and looked around. "We're in the open. Heat signatures to the east, about 300 meters. Might be scavvers."
Celestine whispered, "The air here sings with danger. The soil remembers death."
Yuzuki beamed. "That means we can fight together, right?! Like a real squad! Idol apocalypse formation: let's goooo~!"
Lin was still on his back, staring up at the ash-colored sky.
"...Am I in heaven or a hentai fever dream?"
Lin Feng sat up fully, dust sticking to his hoodie and neck. His heart was still jackhammering from being swarmed by four of the most dangerously attractive women he'd ever seen. Part of him wanted to scream. Another part wanted to pass out. And a very perverted little corner of his brain was actively calculating cup sizes.
He shook his head, trying to focus.
Too many questions. Everything was moving too fast. His throat was dry. His head was pounding.
"...How... how did you all even get here?" he asked, looking from one girl to the next.
Yue didn't blink. "This unit has no prior memory. My operational consciousness initialized at the moment of your arrival."
Sierra frowned and scratched her temple with a fingerless glove. "Same here, sugar. One second I was... I dunno, nowhere. Next second? Bam. Booted up standing over your unconscious ass."
Celestine's voice floated like mist. "All roads led to you, Catalyst. I simply... opened my eyes. And I knew I belonged by your side."
Yuzuki puffed her cheeks. "I don't really remember anything either~! Just, like, boom, sparkles and stars, and then I saw you lying on the ground and I was like: KYAAA, PRODUCER-SAMAAA~!!"
Lin stared at them, dumbfounded.
"So you're saying... you all just... spawned here? No past? No memory? Just... you exist now... for me?"
They all nodded in sync.
Celestine smiled serenely. "Our only truth is you."
Lin rubbed his face with both hands, overwhelmed. "Holy shit. Isekai is real. It's actually fucking real. I've got four brain-meltingly hot waifus and they're all... blank slates who want to serve me like I'm some protagonist alpha god—"
Yue tilted her head. "You are the Master."
"No I'm not!" he squeaked, panic rising again. "I mean— I don't— I've literally never had a girlfriend! I failed gym class! I cried during the last five job interviews!"
"Producer-sama cries?" Yuzuki gasped with wide eyes. "That's so emotional and raw! Waaah, you're already too precious~!"
He waved his arms frantically. "No! Not like— I mean yes, but not in a cool way!"
Sierra laughed. "You're adorable when you panic, pretty boy."
Lin looked like he was about to have a stroke. "C-Can we just—just focus? Like. The system said I'd be dropped with three starter packs, right? W-Where's that stuff?"
The girls looked at each other, blank.
"...System?" Sierra echoed.
"What's a starter pack?" Yue asked.
"Did we forget something important?!" Yuzuki wailed.
Celestine just stared at the ground like she was listening to ghost voices again.
Lin groaned. "Fuck, don't tell me it bugged out. I knew ESI was a half-broken tsundere interface. I knew I should've picked the vehicle. Or the med kit. Oh my god, I'm gonna die out here with four gorgeous girls who can't find the damn loot drop—"
"Umm... Producer-sama?" Yuzuki tugged on his hoodie sleeve. "What about those?"
She pointed about twenty meters away.
Sure enough, partially buried in dust and weeds, was a pile of metal containers. Military-grade crates, stacked haphazardly. Some had bright yellow hazard stripes. Others had blinking LED panels.
Lin's jaw dropped.
"Oh thank God."
He ran toward them, his worn sneakers kicking up ash and debris. The girls followed behind, alert now, weapons at the ready. Qingling drew a small dagger that emitted frost along the blade. Sierra casually cocked her pistol. Celestine floated behind, eerily silent. Yuzuki skipped beside him, humming some forgotten idol melody.
Lin dropped to his knees in front of the first container. There was no lock — just a digital latch. He pressed the green panel.
Click. Hiss. The lid slid open.
Inside was a compact rifle, shiny and sleek. Alongside it, a pistol, two melee weapons — a nasty-looking combat knife and a short crowbar — and a bandolier loaded with ammo. Next to it sat a pair of fragmentation grenades and a small black toolkit with glowing runes on the side.
Sierra whistled. "Now that's a care package. Shotgun this one."
"You can have all of it!" Lin said too fast. "I—I mean! If that's okay? I mean, you look like you know what to do with that stuff. Not saying you have to. Just, like, if you want..."
Sierra just grinned and ruffled his hair. "God, you're helpless. But I kinda like that."
The second box hissed open — this one packed with vacuum-sealed food packs, water purification tabs, an emergency stove, and a crate of "Mystery Meat Cans" with faded Soviet labels.
"Food supply located," Qingling noted, checking the packaging. "Preserved rations. Nutritional value acceptable."
"Are they tasty?!" Yuzuki asked, poking the mystery cans. "They look radioactive~!"
"Most likely," Celestine whispered.
Lin opened the third crate. Inside: clean clothes — socks, underwear, three plain t-shirts, a utility jacket — along with a hygiene kit that included biodegradable soap, toothpaste, wet wipes, and a single pink pouch labeled "Waifu Grooming Kit."
He held it up. "What the hell is... this?"
Yuzuki's eyes sparkled. "KYAAA~! They even gave me hair detangler?! This is fate!"
"Yeah, okay, I'm definitely in a hentai fever dream," Lin muttered.
Celestine gently placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's real, Lin Feng. And your survival has only just begun."
He looked up at them — the cold assassin, the flirty gunner, the creepy prophet, and the idol with twin tails and eyes full of stars.
They were looking at him.
As if he mattered.
"...We should organize the supplies," he said, voice cracking. "And, uh, maybe... maybe find shelter? Before nightfall? I mean, unless you guys think I'm being pushy. I-I don't want to boss anyone around, just, you know, survive. Please don't hate me."
Yue nodded calmly. "Agreed. Prioritize environmental scanning and fallback structure."
"Roger that, Cap," Sierra said, already slinging the rifle over her back.
Yuzuki saluted with both hands. "Mission accepted~! Idol Campfire Concert tonight?"
Celestine smiled, voice quiet as dusk. "The winds whisper... predators will rise with the moon."
Lin looked up at the red-orange sky.
"...This is gonna be so fucking weird."
Q: Would you trade places with Lin?