Chapter 14 – The Cracks Begin
On the way home from the bus terminal, all I could think about was our first night together. I knew it would take time to pull myself together again. I was falling into you. This was the time I became emotionally addicted to you. I arrived home on Sunday, took a warm shower, and lay in bed. I can't quite remember any messages where you said you loved me, but you showed it. You truly showed it. You crossed distances to see me. You gave me your time. Every weekend became ours. I started staying at your place more comfortably during summer. But even that wasn't enough—I wanted more. I wanted all of you. All your time, all your space.
We were like a married couple on weekends—shopping, planning, laughing. We exchanged gifts, explored new places. We were an ideal couple.
One Saturday, while I was at your place, you said there was a work emergency and that you'd be gone for an hour or two. While you were out, I opened the laptop to check messages. I logged into that little platform we used to chat on. There it was again—a message from that other guy. He still wanted to visit the town I lived in. He said he just wanted to talk. He even mentioned his job, his name, saying he was a safe and trustworthy person. I skimmed it. I didn't reply. Got distracted. Thought maybe I should cook dinner before you came back.
You came back. We ate. You showered. Then we went for a walk. Hand in hand. You were proud to walk with me, to show me off. I felt secure because of that. We even went on double dates with your roommate and his girlfriend. It all felt so complete.
But when we got back home, I took a shower, and everything changed.
You saw the open message panel on my laptop. That was our first real fight.
"Why is he messaging you?" you asked.
"I didn't even answer him. I told him I have a boyfriend. He wants to be friends. He hasn't done anything wrong. Are you that insecure? If I wanted to cheat, would I do it this obviously?"
That night, we slept apart.
He had the same profession as you, maybe even the same name. Maybe that's what triggered you. That was when the first cracks appeared. That was when things started to fall apart, my dear Chris.