The light in the room was not white.
She was too white.
A white that burned my eyes, that left no refuge, a white that bled my eyes and prevented me from hiding.
I was seated at a table.
Roum was installed on the other one.
I can still think about the sound the door made when it closed: a sharp, clean, final slam.
Not even a glance, just a simple experience
A gesture that says, that reminds you: you are no longer a person, you are a file.
Metallic arms emerge from the ceiling. They unfold like insect limbs. Icy straps bite into my wrists, my ankles, my torso. I could fight back. I could scream.
But I did nothing.
Because of him…
Roum…
It doesn't move either.
No
It's because I didn't want anything
I no longer have the strength
I am disappointed
I feel so heavy and unwell
I just want to disappear into the dark
But what does he think?
He lies on his side, like a broken toy about to be pieced back together. Black veins pulse slowly along his neck. His head… perfectly reattached… stays in place without a visible seam. A miracle, a true miracle
He's breathing.
He's still breathing.
He breathes as if nothing had happened.
I envy him, I would have envied him, almost
His empty, lost gaze
He has only himself to blame.
Her eyes? What were they like, anyway?
I never really paid attention.
And yet, when he looks at me…
I recognize something.
A spark.
A remainder.
That "sorry" is despicable.
The door opens.
Alpha-1 .
She doesn't walk, she glides. She weaves through space with such perfect precision that she seems to melt into the air. Her white jumpsuit clings to her figure like a second skin. Her hands are bare, pale, almost luminous. And her smile, that crinkled gaze, her signature.
"My child," she murmured. "It is time."
She approaches Roum and grabs him abruptly. I knew she would do that.
She placed her hand on his forehead, a delicate gesture that almost resembled tenderness, contrasting with her first gesture if it didn't give the impression of control.
"You have a few flaws," she whispered. "But you'll adapt without me even asking you to."
Roum doesn't speak.
He wasn't even looking at her. But she would still listen.
I could see it, I could see his body tense up. I could see his fingers trembling, he's exaggerating, a reflex? an impulse?
You've never known him, this demon in front of you
Alpha-1 smiled as if she were savoring the thrill.
- You're perfect. Better than expected. The most stable of all.
She finally turns towards me.
I can't breathe anymore.
- As for you, Asmara…
She stops right in front of my table. Her head tilts slightly, as if asking a question.
- You're standing strong despite everything, you're very brave. You surprise me.
Is that a compliment?
Is this a threat?
I swallow.
She laughed softly.
- I know you hate being here. So I've found you a place, I'll give you everything you dream of and all the answers you're looking for.
She looks at me as if she is listening to my thoughts at the very moment I form them.
His gaze was deep, vast, and endless, an immense hole of darkness.
— You want to know why Roum is special, don't you? Why him and not you? Why did he surpass you? Why did I lose my team when everything was perfect? He's the only one who survived, why the weakest?
- AHAAAAAAAAAAA
Yes.
FOR WHAT ?
I want to KNOW.
I want to bite her, kill her, skin her alive.
-SO WHYYYYYYYYYY?
He screamed, tense to the core, all his veins throbbing and swollen
She doesn't answer.
Obviously.
Alpha-1 never answers questions she likes to see fester in your head.
She turns towards a glass panel behind her.
"Because it's you," she said.
I let out a squeal.
-ah… HA HAHahahahaha
I'm trembling. My teeth are chattering.
Alpha 1, do not move.
She let it happen.
PAF!
-.....???
holding my cheek, stunned
"Don't forget, I can take back everything you own," Alpha-1 said without looking at me. "You're not indispensable, keep that in mind."
I'm suffocating.
My lungs are being compressed.
My joy is burning within me
And my throat tightens
She finally turns her head towards me.
And in her distorted voice, when she finally emerges, there is neither violence nor monstrosity.
There is…
a whisper.
Asmara… don't be afraid. As long as you're with me, everything will be alright.
I freeze.
My tears are flowing as if someone had pulled on a thread.
I wipe them, stop, again and again, without result
Alpha-1 smiled, satisfied.
- I like you, you know.
I tense up.
- It's funny. You know, shadows interpret loyalty differently. They reproduce what they see. They imitate. They learn. They fixate on a source of regulation.
She tilts her head slightly.
-But what happens if they become conscious and turn back into humans?
Roum doesn't speak.
Her pupils dilate.
The veins under her skin are moving.
As if they were listening.
Alpha-1 approaches him.
She places two fingers on her throat.
Roum stepped back.
- Look at me, Roum.
He doesn't know.
She slides her hand through her hair, then down her back, with a perfectly controlled gesture.
"You will come with me," she whispered. "I will teach you how to channel what you have become. And above all, why you have become who you are."
I'm shaking so much that the straps are vibrating.
Roum turns his head towards me.
Her eyes softened.
Her lips moved, as if to say my name once again.
Alpha-1 snaps his fingers.
Roum freezes.
She approaches me.
Smiles.
then opens the door.
- Roam, one.
Roum is unaware of this.
She approaches.
And he whispers
And like a trained animal.
He gets up and follows her
But just before going out…
He turns his head towards me.
And there, right there, for a split second:
I saw pity.
You, Roum, have pity on me
From a boy who understands nothing.
From a boy who depended only on me.
Don't make me laugh.
Alpha-1 grabbed the back of his neck.
- Here we go.
The door closes behind them.
A sharp crack.
The same noise as at the beginning.
The noise that says: you are no longer a person.
I am alone.
Attached.
Jelly.
Empty.
But one thing still burns in my mind:
To know your enemy, you must live with him.
I would take back everything that belongs to me.