The deck of The Piece of Spadille erupted in a wave of uproarious laughter.
"Hahahahahaha! 'Oh, great tree!' Deuce, what in the world was that!?" one of the crewmates wheezed, clutching his stomach. "If that's what your adventure novel is like, sign me up for ten copies!"
Deuce felt his entire body flush with heat. At that moment, he would have gladly paid any price to be teleported to Mars, or at the very least, the bottom of the ocean.
Jerry, the instigator of his current suffering, walked over and patted him consolingly on the shoulder, his face a perfect mask of deadpan seriousness. "I'm sorry, Deuce. I feel like I've misunderstood you all this time. I never knew you were such a… fun-loving soul." He maintained his straight face for another second before his lips twitched and he too broke down into helpless laughter. "But seriously, I can't wait for it to be published! Hahaha!"
"That was just an essay! A rough draft! Part of the novel's conceptualization!" Deuce finally found his voice, recovering from his mortification. He pointed an accusatory finger at the crew members who were still howling with glee. "It's going to become a masterpiece that will leave you all speechless! Just you wait!"
"Yeah, yeah, we're waiting!" someone called back between gasps of laughter. "We're all looking forward to it! We'll buy out the whole first printing!"
The crew was practically rolling on the deck, but they didn't forget to keep stoking the fires of his embarrassment.
"Just you wait, you uncultured bastards!" Deuce gritted his teeth, deciding to ignore the lot of them for the sake of his sanity.
"Sorry, sorry, it was just a joke," Jerry said, finally catching his breath as the magnificent mangroves grew larger on the horizon. "We're about to dock. Time to get serious." He gave Deuce a nod, signaling that it was time to prepare.
"Right. Everyone to your positions! Let's get this ship parked," Deuce commanded, his professionalism taking over. He was already familiar with his crew's chaotic personalities and knew when to let things go. The laughter subsided as everyone got busy, the prospect of setting foot on the legendary archipelago focusing their minds.
Soon, The Piece of Spadille was neatly docked at the base of one of the giant Yarukiman roots. The crew was buzzing with excitement, ready for three days of shore leave and celebration. But just as the first few were about to disembark, a familiar female voice rang out from the shore.
"Fire Fist Ace! I've been waiting for you! You're not getting away this time!"
"Oh! Isuka," Ace grinned, strolling casually to the side of the ship to look down at her. "Still full of energy, I see. Are you here sightseeing, too?"
It was indeed the tenacious Marine Lieutenant. Since their first encounter, she had developed an almost obsessive fixation on capturing Ace. It felt like she was waiting on every other island they visited, relentlessly pursuing him across the Grand Line. Despite her persistence, however, she had never once succeeded. For all her skill in combat, her tactical approach was… predictable. Ace could usually give her the slip with comical ease, disappearing without a trace while she was still monologuing.
"Get down here and surrender!" Isuka shouted, her eyes flashing. She folded her arms, trying to project an aura of authority. "Impel Down is your final destination!"
Her threat was somewhat undermined by the fact that she wasn't wearing her usual Marine uniform. Instead, she was dressed in casual clothes—a simple shirt and trousers—looking for all the world like a tourist who had just stumbled upon a pirate ship.
"Oh? How thoughtful of her," Jerry remarked as he finished packing a small satchel. He walked past Ace, winking. "She's already got your long-term accommodations sorted out. Even thinking about your future."
"Ha! Nice of her to offer, but I don't think I have time for a trip to Impel Down right now," Ace shot back at Jerry. He then turned his attention back to Isuka on the shore below. "By the way, do you know where I can find the best Senbei around here?"
"Senbei?" Isuka answered instinctively, "The best shops are on Grove 43, in the specialty food district. I just bought a bunch of…" She caught herself, her face turning red. "Hey! I'm not a tour guide! Surrender now!"
A collective sigh went through the Spade Pirates still on deck. "We're definitely the tourists here," someone muttered.
"Fire Fist! Don't you dare think you can escape!" Isuka continued, her voice echoing across the pier.
"Looks like we'll have to wait a while before we can land," Deuce said with an embarrassed expression. He figured they were stuck until Isuka either yelled herself hoarse or Ace went down and somehow managed to lure her away. Even if Isuka was a decent person, she was still a Marine. Now that they'd been spotted, they would need to move the ship and hide before the crew could safely go ashore.
But as he was calculating their next move, he realized something was wrong. Isuka was still shouting at the ship, but there was no response from Ace. He looked back towards the railing where his captain had been standing and found it empty. A quick scan of the ship revealed that Ace, Jerry, and Kotatsu were gone. He spotted them on the far side of the pier, well out of Isuka's line of sight, already walking away and laughing amongst themselves as they headed into the heart of the island.
Deuce stared at Isuka, who was still carrying on a one-sided conversation with the empty railing, and could only offer her a look of helpless pity. He sighed and turned to Skull, pulling out the map. "Alright, let's figure out where we can hide this thing."
Meanwhile, Ace and Jerry had already reached the bustling tourist district.
"Alright, you go eat your fill. And try to remember to pay this time," Jerry said, stopping at an intersection. "I'm going to check out those shops over there, see if I can find any decent fishing bait. See you back at the ship in three days."
"Okay! I can't wait!" Ace was practically vibrating with excitement. "I'm going to try everything this island has to offer!" And with that, he vanished into the crowd in a blur of motion.
"Right then. Let's see what they've got, Kotatsu," Jerry said to the big lynx at his side. They began to stroll down the street, taking in the dazzling array of shops.
The landscape of Sabaody was unlike anything Jerry had ever seen. The residents had adapted to living on the massive, interconnected root system. Some houses were built in low-lying crevices, while others perched precariously on high ledges. The unique, multi-level terrain and the ever-present floating bubbles gave the entire place a surreal, dreamlike quality. The technology was just as bizarre—futuristic bubble-based vehicles floated past primitive wooden carts. It was a world of beautiful contradictions.
The streets were teeming with people, laughing and talking. Families strolled together, children chasing bubbles with carefree delight. On the surface, it looked like a paradise. But Jerry knew better. He had read the original story. He knew that beneath this sunny, beautiful facade lay a dark and filthy secret. For now, though, it wasn't his business. He wasn't some prophesied savior. He could only do what he could, when he could. His reach only extended so far.
As he walked, he bought a few small trinkets, enjoying the simple act of being a tourist. He let his senses expand, his developing Observation Haki filtering through the noise, picking up snippets of conversations from the crowds around him. It was a good way to gather information, or, failing that, find some cheap entertainment by listening to gossip.
Just then, his ears picked up a particularly pathetic conversation. A man with a receding hairline that left his forehead gleaming, a large nose, and small eyes—who was clearly not as handsome as he thought he was—was complaining to his friend. The friend, a "cool guy" with long, greasy hair, a thick mouth, and a crooked nose hidden behind sunglasses, listened intently.
"Oh, man," the handsome guy wailed. "I think my girlfriend doesn't love me anymore."
"No way. What makes you say that?" the cool guy asked, casually flicking a few strands of hair out of his eyes.
"I got a new haircut today! I went home and asked her if I looked handsome. Do you know what she said?"
The cool guy tilted his head, which had the odd effect of making his nose look momentarily straight.
"She said, 'I'd finally gotten used to you being ugly, but I didn't think you could find a way to get even uglier. Let's break up.'"
"Wow! She… she called me ugly!" the handsome guy sobbed, becoming more distraught as he spoke. He grabbed the front of his friend's shirt and began to wipe his tears and snot on it. "But when we were watching the stars, she always said I had a… a unique look!"
"She really said that?" A wide grin started to spread across the cool guy's face, though he tried to hide it. "Great! That means I have a chance—I mean, ah! That's horrible! What a terrible thing to say! Don't you worry, buddy, I'll help you teach her a lesson. I promise I'll make her scream!"
He threw his head back and feigned righteous fury, his mouth twitching with the effort of holding back his triumphant smile.