I'm sorry. Truly, I am.
I know very well I don't deserve your forgiveness. I was a coward—utterly pathetic. I couldn't match your courage when you saved me. I… just ran away. I'm sorry.
I still remember it—the way I ran without looking back, ignoring your screams for help.
From that day on, I never stopped running. I became a coward and resigned myself to live that way for a long time… until I died.
Then they offered me another chance.
That's why I accepted the deal from that arrogant bastard in the fancy suit. I honestly thought that if I got another shot at life, I could become someone better—braver, stronger.
Like one of those comic book heroes we used to read about. You know, the ones with red underwear over blue tights.
I… was I really that naïve?
"..."
Why am I thinking about this?
Is it guilt?
No. I don't think so. I buried those kinds of feelings deep inside long ago.
Then why? Maybe because I'm about to die?
No… that can't be it either. It's not the first time I've stood at death's door. Technically speaking, I already died less than a day ago.
...
…
.
There I was, trapped in a silent debate with myself—trying to understand the source of those sudden memories and thoughts I had fought so hard to bury. I couldn't find a clear reason for their return… or maybe I could. Deep down, I already knew where they came from.
It was HIM.
When I looked at HIM, I saw my past—or rather, my mistakes and regrets. Every turning point in my life converged into a single moment and place: right here, right now.
That's what I saw in his eyes—an incarnation of fate announcing my end.
Describing my current situation is harder than it sounds.
My mind was split in two, trapped in a loop where old memories and new thoughts collided, blurring my senses. And yet, somehow, I was still aware of my surroundings… of what stood before me. I just couldn't understand it.
When I looked at HIM, I saw something with the shape of a salamander—but sometimes, it looked more human than it should, almost like a person. And then, it would lose all form again, as if HE suddenly became a cloud of smoke.
None of it made sense.
Or maybe sense itself ceased to exist the moment HE emerged from the monster's corpse.
When HE crawled out of the salamander, I froze.
I couldn't comprehend what I was seeing. From my perspective, HE wasn't a monster or a superhuman. I was certain of that… though I couldn't explain why. It was just a feeling.
While I tried to make sense of the being before me, HE lunged forward and, with a single swing, tore off my left arm.
But HE didn't stop there. A second strike followed, hitting me square in the stomach with enough force to slam me into the cave wall.
And yet, I felt no pain.
My arm was gone, my guts probably spilling out, and my body thrown around like a rag doll—but still, nothing. I couldn't feel anything.
That's when the memories returned. Those thoughts I'd locked away for years began surfacing, clawing at my mind.
I was trapped—unable to think of a single way out of that trance that kept me frozen, forced to relive everything I wanted to forget.
Not just the mistakes of my childhood… but all the failures of my teenage years too.
Is that why I'm asking myself so many questions?
Am I just trying to drown out my own memories?
Despair began devouring me. I could feel my consciousness slipping away, dissolving inside my own head.
Not only could I not feel the pain of my wounds—I couldn't feel anything.
I didn't even know if I was still breathing. I could die at any moment and wouldn't even notice until it was too late.
That thought shattered what little was left of my fragile consciousness.
I couldn't process the damage my body had taken, but I knew this was only the beginning.
I had to get up. I had to keep fighting.
If I didn't find a way out of this, soon I'd be completely at his mercy.
And yet… why do I keep calling him "HE"?
Don't tell me I've lost control of my own thoughts now.
Could HE be inside my head already?
"...."
Damn it. I'm still calling HIM that—this beast, this shadow, this whatever-the-hell-it-is!
"Aaagh… AAAAAAAAHHH!!! DAMN IT!!!"
I… couldn't. I wasn't capable of defeating it.
I couldn't even comprehend what I was facing.
Tak… tak.
Then I heard its steps.
It was approaching.
I clenched my eyes shut—somehow knowing that if I opened them, I'd lose what little control I had left over my mind.
...…
.....
...
RU
VAL
DRIX
ERU' VALDRIZ
What are those voices?
They didn't come from my mind. Maybe… from HIM?
No. That couldn't be. Those voices made me feel the opposite of what HIS presence did.
If anything, they made me feel again.
I could feel everything—including the pain.
"AAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!"
I screamed, and honestly, I didn't care.
Pain was better than nothing. It reminded me I was still alive.
Even if it hurt like hell, at least I felt something.
RU
VAL
DRIX
The voices echoed inside my head, louder each time—chanting the same words again and again.
"Ru… valdrix."
GRRROOOOOAAAAARK!!!
The moment I repeated those words out loud—the ones whispered by those mysterious voices—a monstrous roar exploded nearby.
It was so loud it shook the entire cave.
I could feel the rage, the sheer destructive power behind that sound.
By all logic, my body should've been torn apart by the shockwave… and yet, I was still intact.
Ggrooorrr…
Then, suddenly, the roars stopped.
I kept my eyes tightly shut, afraid my sanity might shatter if I saw HIM again.
Gg..grooaark…
But now… I wanted to open them.
I didn't know why—maybe instinct, maybe madness—but I felt something had changed.
The monster's growls sounded weaker, slower, almost tired.
And somehow, I felt… clear-headed.
It no longer felt like my mind would collapse if I looked at it.
Maybe I'll regret what I'm about to do…
but right now, the only way to face danger is to face it head-on.
Driven by that stupid thought, I opened my eyes—expecting to see the same shapeless horror as before.
Instead… what I saw was far worse than anything I could've imagined.
—'This was a bad idea,' I thought, cursing myself silently.
At first, HE looked like the salamander I had killed earlier—but then HIS shape shifted, almost human, and then again into something formless, like smoke trying to remember what it once was.
I used to think HE was doing this on purpose, trying to confuse me.
Now, I'm starting to believe that was never the case.
Maybe I was the one confusing myself all along.
All this time, I had been trying to find the body that cast the shadow, never realizing the shadow was the only real body from the start.
That's the best way I can explain it now.
When I opened my eyes again, I finally saw the whole picture.
The smoke thickened, solidifying into the shape of a beast that could only be described as a herald of my demise.
Its enormous pale body stood on six long legs—three sprouting from each side of its torso.
Every limb ended in three clawed fingers, sharp enough to carve through stone.
A long tail whipped behind it, the tip armed with a stinger that gleamed like polished bone.
And its face… damn it, its face was split open—a vertical tear running from its forehead to its chin, twitching as if it were a mouth struggling to speak.
But the most striking thing about that creature were its eyes—four luminous orbs glowing gold with traces of amber, arranged in pairs on each side of that "mouth," one above the other.
"What… what are you?"
Never in my life had I heard of anything like it.
It looked like an amalgamation of several species—the structure of a desert iron scorpion from Rékriz, but the smooth, pale skin of a lunar whale.
I needed to move. Now.
If I didn't, I was screwed.
Ignoring the pain tearing through my body, I gathered every ounce of strength I had left to jump and run in the opposite direction.
That's when I saw it—my sword, lying near the path I had taken earlier.
I ran toward it, but when I finally reached it, my heart sank.
The weapon was destroyed.
The handle was worn down, the blade shattered—only a quarter of its length remained.
But that also meant it weighed three-quarters less. Perfect for someone with only one arm.
I gripped the sword tightly and turned to face the monster again.
It hadn't moved.
It just stood there—watching me.
Unbothered.
Almost… uninterested.
It didn't chase after me.
It didn't attack.
It just knew—somehow—that I couldn't escape.
"…!"
Wait. It's not looking at me.
It's looking behind me.
I turned around.
The massive gray sphere—the one from before—it was glowing again, only this time the light was different.
The pale gray hue had been replaced by white cracks spreading across its surface… like an egg about to hatch.
Wait… wasn't I supposed to stop that from happening?
BOOM!!!
Before I could even think, an explosion shook the entire cavern.
Dust and debris clouded my vision, and then—something enormous appeared right in front of me.
FWWWOOOOSH!!!
Without thinking, I raised my sword high and brought it down with all my strength.
The swing was so fast it seemed to slice through the air itself.
The result—a clean, sharp cut across the creature's face.
I did it. I actually hurt it.
Even if it was just a scratch, that tiny victory could tip the scales of this battle, even a little.
I lifted my gaze, ready to face it again and—
"W-what?!"
The wound was gone.
No trace of the cut remained.
I was sure I'd hit it… hadn't I?
—'What are you doing?! Don't stop!'
My own conscience screamed at me.
I couldn't afford to hesitate.
I swung again—this time, a diagonal strike upward.
FWWWOOOOSH!!!
For the second time, my blade sliced clean through the creature's face.
But when I pulled it back, there was nothing.
No blood. No wound. Nothing at all.
It was as if the sword had never touched it.
"…Pe—what the f—?!"
Before I could even finish cursing, the monster lifted one of its legs and clamped its three massive fingers around my head.
I couldn't see. I couldn't breathe. The shock made me drop the sword.
It lifted me effortlessly, gripping my skull like I was nothing more than a doll—
and then, with terrifying force, slammed me into the ground.
CRACK.
Something broke.
Maybe the stone floor.
Maybe one of my bones.
I couldn't tell.
What I did know was that I couldn't feel anything from the neck down.
Then it lifted me again—
only to throw me back against the ground.
And again.
And again.
CRACK.
CRACK.
CRACK.
For several endless seconds, I endured a humiliating beating.
If I had still been capable of feeling pain, I would've prayed for a quick death.
But I couldn't.
All I could do was listen—to the sound of my own bones shattering under its blows.
—'That girl… why did you save her?'
"…?"
And then I remembered how this madness began.
Lucius had asked me that same question—about the meaning of my sacrifice.
What did I tell him back then?
I… did it. I saved her because…
—'I saved that girl because I could. I had the means… so I wanted to—no, I had to help her.'
Yes. That's right. Because I had to.
But there was something deeper… wasn't there?
Where did that urge come from—to save her?
And where did this desire to keep living come from?
—'It was just a caprice.'
"…A caprice?" I whispered to myself.
Is it a caprice to want to live after wasting a life?
A caprice to save a helpless girl from a life of suffering?
Those were questions I couldn't answer.
But those same questions… were the ones that helped me endure all the madness that has happened in this cave.
If that's true, then maybe all of this started because of a caprice, didn't it?
And if that's the case… maybe that same whim is what I need to survive now.
What do I want… right now?
That was a hard question.
Despite how pitiful my situation was, I couldn't deny it—
I enjoyed this.
It was… exhilarating.
I fought a salamander. I faced some kind of cosmic anomaly.
Never in my life had I imagined such things.
I liked it—this job, this place, this insane adventure.
Exploring this terrifying cave, fighting monsters straight out of nightmares…
I liked it all.
I wonder what Dad would say if he saw me now.
Would he worry… or would he be proud?
"..."
I want to tell him what I did today.
I want to tell my family what I've achieved.
And then, the chants returned—but this time, they were different.
Clearer. More… understandable.
No'rein dor val'terin, nai ka'lien dor trekil,
makratiz el'nor dren eiru'naz.
Dren desparin en dra'makra, el'spectir nor en valdrin.
Ka'lien'beas dren dra'realith nor en drekir,
dor'uni'verse makratiz ren val'trekiz dor en eiru.
Eru'valdriz, nor el'nor dra'kreash makraten,
dor'nai stelar, dor'nai terin, dor'nai val,
ren en eiru'makratiz dor Emk'seren Celestir'nor.
What… is this?
A song?
No…
It felt more like a prayer.
El'spectir enor makrath en eiru'naz…
No.
It wasn't a prayer.
It was a vow.
GROOOAAAARK!!!
TAK.
TAK.
What was that?
Those were the monster's footsteps…
It was moving away.
I opened my eyes.
The monster had stepped back.
It was watching me curiously, almost confused, as if it didn't understand what it was seeing.
"What's wrong with it?" I muttered.
I took a step forward.
The creature instantly moved backward, keeping the same distance between us.
"...?"
There was something strange. Something had changed.
…I was standing.
"Agh… my head."
Suddenly, a searing pain ran through my skull, like a fever burning from the inside out.
'Calm yourself.'
"…?! Who said that?" I asked, looking around in panic.
'Be quiet.'
"Eh?"
'Don't let the enemy exploit your distraction.'
I had no idea where that voice came from, but it was right—
the monster was doing something.
GROO... GROOOOAAAAARRRGGGHH!!!
The enormous pale creature opened its jaws.
Its mouth split wider and wider until it tore its own skull apart, revealing the inside of its throat.
And deep inside, surrounded by endless rows of teeth, floated a small sphere of light.
Its brilliance flooded the entire chamber, revealing every hidden crevice of the cave.
'Focus.'
The voice spoke again.
"Alright."
I obeyed without hesitation.
'It's afraid. Your existence confuses it.'
'No attack you make will kill it. It will only die when that light inside it goes out.'
'But no matter what happens—don't touch that sphere with your bare hands. Use the sword.'
Then… I felt something being placed in my left hand.
I recognized it immediately.
It was the sword.
'Don't let go of it… or you'll die.'
"…"
GGGRRROOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!
The monster roared again—but this time, it was different.
There was emotion in that roar.
It was…
"Fear," I said quietly.
What was it afraid of?
Robert didn't know.
But from the monster's perspective… the human it had crushed and beaten into the ground was gone.
Now, before it stood something else—a reanimated corpse, driven by a power it couldn't comprehend.
A shadow that moved with purpose.
A presence that felt ancient.
The shadow of a king… who still ruled, even after death.