The cold iron chains dug in to my wrists everytime the cart jolts. It's so cold it burns.
Even as snow falls and the wind blows through the bars of the cart locking me in, I will not shiver.
Let them think I feel nothing.
The cart passed the Bridge of Ten Blessings, the same one I had once crossed in a sedan chair robed in red and gold. The same bridge they'd now rolled me across like a dead animal.
I feel angry gazes aiming at me, so I stared back at every single one of them. I meet their eyes, I am not a traitor and I will never show weakness.
I am the empress and I will die with dignity. They can throw all kinds of stones, stares full of knives at me but matters most is only I know the truth.
"Is that really the empress?"
"No! That thing is no empress! That's a witch"
I smiled, blood trickled down my chin from the cracked on my lips. They could of at least give me some water.
The dressed me in a white shift, they look more like rags, all soaked from kneeling in the holding cell for criminals. My hair, used to be taken by absolute care from the maids is now cut unevenly to my neck.
My fingers—those fingers that once signed edicts and chose ministers—were purple from the cold.
And still, I'm sitting up with a straight back like a true empress.
I would not give them the satisfaction of seeing me slump. I am not here to weep or beg for mercy. I am here to die and I am going to die on my own terms.
I looked ahead at the walls of the Execution Square loomed, tall as palace gates. Red banners fluttered, spears shone and rows of soldiers stood shoulder to shoulder—expressionless.
And on top of them all on the platform, flanked by jade lion statues and court officials is him.
Zhao Yunxie. The emperor and my husband.
I lifted my head, chin high— I could feel the pain from all the beatings I endured for the past few days in the prison cell. But still, I would not let him see me weak.
Let the entire city see that Shen Li, last of the House of Qilin, faced death without flinching.
He sat with his face carved from stone,his eyes unreadable beneath that heavy crown he wears. No anger, no grief, not even contempt.
Just emptiness.
He looked at me like a stranger, like I don't matter now that he doesn't need me anymor. Something he'd once perhaps admired before deciding to throw it away.
The cchains on my wrist clinked as the cart slowed to a stop. A guard jabbed me in the shoulder with the end of his spear. "Kneel"
I don't move.
He hit me harder which caused me to stumble but still I stayed upright.
"On your knees traitor!"
I smiled and turned to the square, ignoring him. The crowd roaring obsessively call me all types of name.
I scanned the faces of the nobles lined up along the walls. Duke Liang—who once swore to defend my honor. Lady Qiao—who gifted me poison pretending it's medicine. The Grand Chancellor—whose son I had refused to marry before I met Zhao Yunxie.
So many familiar faces, none brave enough to meet my eyes.
I smiled wider.
They would not meet my eyes because they feared what was in them.
Memory. Rage. A flame that would not die even as they cut my throat.
Let them watch me die.