1993. I was 22.
It was a day of celebration: my girlfriend, Li Fang, was pregnant. I'd gathered a few buddies to borrow money so I could formally propose at her family's home. We went to a street-side barbecue stall, and I planned to bring up the loan once we'd eaten.
Then a drunk from the next table stumbled over. He leered at Li Fang and started harassing her. Back then, I was young and hot-headed. With my friends, I pinned him down and beat him.
The police arrived. My friends scattered, but I kept hitting him—right until the cops arrested me. Li Fang pleaded with them, explaining why I'd lashed out. But the truth was undeniable: I'd assaulted a man. They hauled me away.
I told Li Fang not to worry and to go home. She just stood there on the roadside, watching as they shoved me into the police car.
At the station, locked in a holding cell, I assumed it was a simple brawl. I'd be out after some paperwork. I waited all day. No release came. Instead, an officer delivered the news:
**"You ruptured one of his kidneys. His family's pressing charges. You're looking at years in prison."**
I froze.
Later, I heard they'd drop the case if I paid them 3,000 yuan. In 1993, two yuan bought a whole hen. Three thousand meant 1,500 hens. My dad was dead, my mom remarried. I was a punk with no one to turn to—where would I get that kind of money? They said no cash, no deal.
The outcome was inevitable.
I was convicted of intentional assault and sentenced to four years.
For the first two months inside, Li Fang visited occasionally. Then she stopped. When she returned, she looked pale. Her belly was flat.
I learned the truth: Her family had discovered the pregnancy. When they heard I was in prison, they pressured her to abort. She refused at first, but they wore her down:
**"You're unmarried. Where's the birth permit? Even if you keep it, how will you register the child? Wait four years for a convict? The baby would be three by then! How will you survive?"**
They convinced her. She had the abortion.
She'd sneaked out to see me that day—just to say she was sorry.
Regret crushed me. I slapped myself, cursing my stupidity. *If only I'd held back that night… If only I'd run too…*
I wouldn't be in prison. Li Fang wouldn't have lost our child.
Later, she promised she'd wait for me. I pressed my hand to the glass, shaking with sobs.
In my heart, I vowed to give her a good life someday.
I never imagined how fleeting that "someday" would be.