Have you ever imagined a life where you are always followed by stench? . . . . To Diah that was her life, a stinking piece of garbage, a life where nothing worked out for her, she just classified it as an additional stain in her life.
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Diahs idea of a family wasn't exactly like everyone else, to her a family had a father who gambled away in the morning, came back home in the night and afflicted his frustration on his wife and child, a mother who despite being physically and sexually abused to a point of a mental break down still showed an unwavering sense of devotion and love to her husband and she who was always treated like something that was never meant to exist. A home that constantly smelled like mold, and because they lived in a basement apartment anytime it rained the house got flooded. Kids, adults threw cigarette buts, papers or whatever deemed useless to them to the window.
A drunk, blinded love, an unwanted child and a mold infested home, you could already tell how pathetic such a family would be, so many questions came in mind, why did her father beat her when she did nothing wrong?, why did her mum love her dad so much when all he ever did was beat her and why - - - - just why was she born to such miserable parents?, she never got the answer to those questions and just for a moment it seemed like there was no escape, but then . . . . one day, just coincidentally she read about the ugly swan. A swan that had been rejected by its family because it was born ugly...., when she was casted away and went searching for her meaning and purpose, she blossomed into something beautiful. It then clicked to Diah, an environment and a family like this will never make her reach her full potential, they all have different paths to follow, why must she accompany them to endless misery, that night she left home, at the age of sixteen-- Diah ran away from home, they chose this path so why should she be with them, because they are her parent?, she should love them?, people that have done nothing for her, people that didn't care if she existed, for all she knew, if they died she won't feel anything.
At first the streets was harsh, but the more harsh it was, the better she learnt, which gas station bathroom to use, which resturant threw away good food and how to steal money and food without getting caught, the rules were simple, either you strive alone or ----- you follow the right people, striving alone meant death and following people meant betrayal --- so for her she had two options for herself, meet a kind person or find someone who was soft hearted and gullible enough to let her actions slide, and just like that, at the resturant one day, during one of her shifts, she met Rhea and at that moment she just knew this was the exact person she was looking for, someone who couldn't question her own moralities because of their similar experiences with life.
It began with greetings, then small talks and then they were moving in together, despite the obvious gloominess, Rhea still had a dream, a dream that she held that kept her going, and then she wondered - - - If she could also dream, will life be less miserable?, but what should she dream about?.
If Rhea was so happy when she wrote, then she too - - - could be happy, and then - - - she wrote, Could she say she liked it - - - yes, but was she good at it - - - no - - - absolutely not. It wasn't like her life had improved in anyway but at least she was safe and happy, or.....so she thought, it wasn't long before she knew it - - - like a fever dream, Rhea blew up - - - and just like that they drifted apart, she just had to be numb to it, besides she was earning money for them, she just has to hold in, but then, it continued, she kept on telling herself it was a one time thing, just like what her mother usually told her when her father beat them, but she always - - - left.
She finally decided to rebel, if she lived a different life - - - will she notice her, so she began her habit, smoking, drinking, partying, everything just to rebel, just for her to be noticed. But all Rhea could do was to slam a College pamphlet onto her face and start spewing how she would pay for her college and all her living expenses - - - but the way Diah perceived it, it was easy to decode what she meant, she was a burden, just a charity case, someone who was dragging her down, It made her feel pathetic, more pathetic than when she had been living in that house, and just like how she had left that house, that night she left Rheas house.
She waited for Rhea to look for her, prayed desperately that despite what she said she will still look for her, so --- she waited, and slowly but surely, till the line of resentment reached its limit and she knew that Rhea had abandoned her.
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PRESENT
Rhea was panting as she ran, tears streaming down her face and snot running down to her mouth, she hadn't prayed for such a long time but today she prayed so desperately that she was not too late.