Ethan stood on the sideline, a silent, helpless observer to the glorious chaos.
He had no instructions.
What could he possibly say?
"Lads, could you please remember which goal we're shooting at?"
Or
"Kenny, the referee is not a valid passing option!"
His team was playing with the tactical discipline of a herd of cats that had just discovered catnip.
The Burton Albion players, to their credit, looked almost embarrassed to be taking part.
They would tackle an Apex player, win the ball, and then look around, waiting for the inevitable, ridiculous mistake that would gift it right back to them.
The third, fourth, and fifth goals had been a comedy of errors so profound that even the home fans didn't seem to be celebrating anymore; they were just laughing, a sound of pure, disbelieving amusement echoing around the stadium.
The sixth goal was the pièce de résistance, the cherry on top of the disaster sundae.
It started with Angus Gunn, the Apex goalkeeper.
