"So… who exactly deserves a second shot at life? Hmmm… let me think about it... for an eternity."
And thus, I sat.
On a celestial couch.
In a timeless void.
Wearing a bathrobe made of stardust and sipping existential tea served by my overly enthusiastic butler — who, for reasons unknown to science or theology, was shaped like a toaster with googly eyes and an Oxford accent.
"Sir, might I suggest reincarnating a humble librarian from the 1800s?""Shhh, Toasterton. This demands... the utmost chaos."
And so, I thought.And thought.And THOUGHT.
(An Eternity Later…)
"I got it."
Lightning cracked across the mental skies.Trumpets blared inappropriately.Somewhere in a forgotten dimension, a duck exploded.
It was time.
The List.Not just a list — a weaponized lineup of chaos incarnate.
I conjured a scroll made of paradox silk, inked in quantum sarcasm, and began to write.
List One: Candidates for Reincarnation
Yujiro Hanma
Bruce Wayne
Light Yagami
Hisoka
Tommy Shelby
Walter White
John Wick
Captain Jack Sparrow (yes, Captain)
A Hentai Bastard as a Celestial Dragon(Yes, I know. Stop judging me.)
I cracked my eternal knuckles.The multiverse trembled.
"Toasterton, ready the cosmic darts.""Very good, sir. Shall I prepare the 'Spin-the-Wheel-of-Unhinged-Reincarnation' as well?""...Add glitter to it."
It was time.Worlds must be chosen.Fates must be forged.Nonsense must be maximized.
List Two: Where to Throw Them
1. Yujiro Hanma
The Worlds:
• Swallowed Star – Punch cultivators until the universe admits defeat.
• Berserk – Guts vs. Yujiro. Pure testosterone.
• Warhammer 40K – The Stongest Primarch or maybe even Khrone deamon prince .
• Invisible Universe™ – You can't see them, but you can FEEL the trauma.
• Dragon Ball – Might punch Goku into a nine-to-five job.
• One Punch Man – Who breaks the world first?
Too many options. I might even let him pick.Or not. Muahahaha.
2. Bruce Wayne
The Worlds:
• The Boys – Batman vs. Homelander = gourmet chaos.
• Game of Thrones – "I'm not wearing a crown."
• My Hero Academia – Batman at U.A.? Deku's new dad.
• Demon Slayer – Bruce with a Nichirin Bat shaped Dart. Lethal.
• One Piece – Pirate Batman with the Bat-Berry Fruit.
He's brooding anyway. Might as well give him dragons to punch.
3. Light Yagami
The Worlds:
• Code Geass – Two gods. One chair. Who blinks?
• No Game No Life – Let's see if his ego can win actual games.
• Peaky Blinders – Light with a cap and a cigarette. New king of Birmingham.
• Classroom of the Elite – He becomes the curriculum.
God Complex.exe continues to run.No patch notes available.
4. Hisoka
The Worlds:
• Jujutsu Kaisen – Cursed energy + Bungee Gum = trauma.
• Tokyo Ghoul – Cannibalism just got weirder.
• Black Clover – His grimoire? 300 Joker cards and chaos.
• Demon Slayer – Muzan regrets living.
• Record of Ragnarok – Hisoka vs. Poseidon. God vs Clown.
He doesn't need a Joke.He is the Joker .
5. Tommy Shelby
The Worlds:
• Vagabond – Samurai Shelby. The edge intensifies
• Mob Psycho 100 – Becomes Mob's boss. Literally.
• Vinland Saga – Vikings, whiskey, and war.
• Attack on Titan – Negotiating with Eren over cigars.
• Chainsaw Man – "By order of the Peaky Devils."
He builds an empire.Even if it's made of demons and unpaid therapy bills.
6. Walter White
The Worlds:
• Dr. Stone – Stone Age meth. Innovation begins.
• Fullmetal Alchemist – Philosopher's Stone = Crystal Meth 2.0
• Steins Gate – Time-travel + chemistry = apocalyptic fun.
• Resident Evil – Umbrella Corp now owned by Heisenberg.
Science + Madness = Universal bad decision.
7. John Wick
The Worlds:
• Fate/Stay Night – He is the Servant.
• Naruto – "Gun no Jutsu." It's canon now.
• Baki – Martial artist with a gun. They'll scream.
• Chainsaw Man – Gun Devil fears Him.
• Solo Leveling – Bullet Ballet vs. Shadow Army.
Universal Law:Don't. Touch. The. Dog.
8. Captain Jack Sparrow (yes, Captain)
The Worlds:
• One Piece – Finds Raftel by accident. Drunk.
• Genshin Impact – Uses Vision to summon rum.
• Tower of God – Climbs the wrong tower. Still wins.
• Konosuba – Kazuma finally meets his match.
• Skyrim: Legendary Glitch Edition – Screams rum recipes at dragons.
His compass doesn't point north.It points to pure nonsense.
9. A Hentai Bastard as a Celestial Dragon
The World:
• One Piece
I already know exactly what I'm doing.
He's reincarnated as a Celestial Dragon.
The Gorosei and Imu? Female. Or Ivanko-level fabulous.
His mission? …You know it.(I'm not writing it. You KNOW it, you filthy cosmic reader.)
To make it worse (better?):
Once his arc ends…I'll unleash the Extremis Order from Warhammer 40K to delete that world Permanently.
Because even I have standards.
Zehahahahahaha ..cough cough
Note to self: Never laugh like Blackbeard with dry tea leaves in your throat.
The scroll is complete.Chaos awaits.
Now then…Shall we begin the games?