"FINE."
The sheer power behind that singular word made Knox fall to his knees and regret living a thousand times over in the presence of this this… God.
Yes, that's who it had to be. The biggest one in the sky. God.
Someone lesser than that couldn't possibly be so reverent with just a simple word.
"SIGH."
"He" didn't even speak that time. God had just… materialized the concept of a sigh. It echoed like a divine eye-roll across the void they were standing in.
Well, Knox was standing. God was... being. It wasn't exactly the easiest thing to comprehend, and it was sort of giving him a headache just standing in "His" presence.
"CONGRATULATIONS. YOU WIN."
Knox swallowed. "I… win?" What did I win, exactly?" He nearly squeaked, like a mouse pleading for a black hole not to swallow it.
"MY PATIENCE HAS RUN THIN. I WILL GRANT YOUR FOOLISH WISH."
Oh no.
"...What exactly are you talking about?" He asked tentatively.
"EVERY MORNING. EVERY AFTERNOON. EVERY NIGHT. EVERY BIRTHDAY. EVERY CHRISTMAS. YEARS UPON YEARS UPON YEARS..."
"YOU FOOLISHLY BEG FOR A NEW LIFE."
Huh.
Uh, right.
That was... true, yeah. Knox definitely did that often. To the point where others would call him desperate. He prayed to anything with a name. Gods, devils, demons, spirits, passing clouds, there was even that one time he prayed to a cat just for the hell of it.
He'd thrown coins in fountains, hoped upon shooting stars, and downloaded every isekai themed mobile game on the market just hoping that maybe one of them would magically transport him to another world.
That seemed to work in a lot of light novels he'd read.
Why, exactly? ...Well, why not?
Real life was, quite frankly, boring. Sure, he could go on a grand adventure or get into sports for the thrill, but none of it ever felt... real.
He truly believed that humanity had become entirely too efficient, removing all the stakes of living in search of eternal comfort. In his opinion, the only reason there was even conflict between people anymore was either ignorance or boredom.
Even if he was put into another modern world, as long as it had magic to satisfy his boredom, he'd be content.
And finally...
It was happening.
He straightened, a hopeful smile starting to grace his face. "So, wait, you're actually doing it? I'm finally-like, with a System a-and the-"
"CORRECT."
Despite having the same monotone speech pattern, he somehow felt like God was tired of his bullshit.
Knox was too excited to care.
He could've cried. He was ready to kiss God's feet. To write ballads. To-
"THERE ARE STIPULATIONS."
Knox froze, then sighed. '...Of course there are.'
"THIS IS MORE OF A PUNISHMENT THAN A REWARD. THEREFORE, OBSERVE."
The void rippled around them, reality folding in on itself under the might of God, forcing something to emerge.
Like it had always been there, waiting just beneath the surface of perception.
A stone table. Cracked, ancient, impossibly smooth yet jagged all at once. It thunked into place between them with a cosmic clunk that sort of rattled his bones.
On top of it sat a single sheet of parchment fraying at the edges. Ink bled across it in a looping, celestial script that shifted when he wasn't looking directly at it.
He leaned in and saw his own name signed at the top. When he read it, it glowed.
~ Signed: Knox Creed
"…Wait. Uhh… I didn't sign this."
"I DO NOT CARE."
A chill ran down his spine as the celestial ink shimmered in hues no human retina was built to comprehend.
~ Contract of Cosmic Relocation & Gamified Existence
…The title was promising, at least.
His eyes scanned the rest, and while most of the contract somehow squirmed away from him like the letters were alive, a few lines stood out. In fact, they were bolded, gleaming stamps of information.
~ Relocation Destination: Dragon Ball Z (Universe 7)
~ Starting Stats: Absolute minimum.
~ Starting Ability: The Gamer [DBZ v.0.3.1]
~ Method of Relocation: Reality Overwrite.
Knox stared at the destination, heart pounding in his ears.
To some people being sent to the world of DBZ was probably a punishment. To them, trying to live in such a death world would be enough for them to regret their actions. On a list of a million different worlds to choose from, Dragonball was one of the top ten worst to choose from with how much danger casually existed around the corner.
But those people weren't Knox.
Out of all the worlds he could think of, this one was one of his favorites. Not only because of the excitement, but the fairness of it all.
In other worlds with the same level of danger, there usually wasn't any chances. If you didn't have the innate power or knowledge required, you were fucked. No amount of training would allow you to throw hands with a God.
But not Dragonball. It was one of the few multiverses where any schmuck with enough discipline and training could overthrow everything.
He grinned like an idiot, sheer anticipation making his hands quiver.
Then the contract shifted, one of those pesky stipulations sticking out.
~ Mandatory Curses: True.
'Huh?'
"Huh?" Knox didn't filter his thoughts. "Uh… what the hell is this?"
He read further.
~ Curses Active: 2.
~ Curse #1: [Wishbane] — Subject may only make wishes via the Super Dragon Balls. All other wish-granting constructs will not function for the Subject. Attempts will result in comedic failure and/or instant irony-based karma.
Oh.
That wasn't too bad. In fact, it pretty much changed nothing for him. The biggest ability the Dragon Balls had was to bring people back to life. With this curse that ability didn't apply to him anymore.
But to be fair, he had always lived a bit more recklessly than others, wish-granting dragon or not. This truly didn't change much.
Considering he wasn't planning on dying or wishing for powers, he could live with that. The Gamer ability would guide him through.
~ Curse #2: [Evil Aura] — Subject's Ki will permanently radiate the feeling of malevolence. All energy readings will interpret the Subject as hostile or evil, regardless of alignment. Additionally, the subject will be more prone to violent choices and immoral thought patterns.
…Shit.
If the previous curse was akin to an ant, then this one was a mosquito. He could already tell how irritating it would be having to reassure anyone who could sense ki that he was not extremely evil.
But the most detrimental part about it was that it messed with his emotions to a degree.
Knox, besides the obsession with isekai, was a pretty laidback person. Or, more accurately, he didn't care about much in his life. To go from being 'chill' 99% of the day to possibly being prone to violent outbursts was… certainly going to be a challenge.
He stared at the contract, waiting for more to pop out at him but… that was it.
Just two curses. A free system. And a transfer to the brutal world of Dragon Ball.
"That's it?" he asked, voice quiet with disbelief.
"CORRECT."
God, or whatever this entity was, offered no clarification or fanfare.
And still… Knox couldn't help it.
His grin grew even wider, if that was possible.
"You call that a punishment?" he scoffed. "You have no idea who you're talking to."
He'd been praying for this. Wishing for it. Obsessing. He didn't care if it was a joke or a challenge or some divine entity's way of saying 'screw off, kid' in the loudest, most dramatic way possible.
Because this was the chance of a lifetime.
The curses? Please.
One made wishes harder to get. Good. Wishes were cheap world breaking hacks anyway. It was like entering a cheat code in a really good game.
Earning the win always felt better.
The other curse made him feel more like a final boss than a background extra. So what if everyone thought he was evil at first glance? So what if he had to fight a little harder to keep control of himself? That was mildly annoying, at best.
All of that in exchange for a free System? One with stats, skills, and all that?
This was so worth it.
"Alright, I'm good with this," Knox said, standing straighter.
His voice no longer quivered like a man facing divine judgment. Now it sounded more like a man ready to punch a dinosaur for some XP.
"THEN SO BE IT."
The contract caught fire. It burned without burning, a cosmic blaze of data and intent, language and law.
Then an orange screen popped up in front of him.
[System Installation Complete.]
[Welcome, Knox Creed.]
[Your Journey Begins Now.]
The screen suddenly vanished when he finished reading, and a hole tore open in its place.
The hole expanded, becoming a rift of burning starlight and pixelated data, flashing with blinding speed through stars and skies of dimensions he couldn't quite fathom.
Knox didn't hesitate, taking a step toward it.
"See ya later, God!" He called out behind him. "I'll come visit when I get strong enough to find you!"
"DO NOT."
He walked through with the stupidest grin on his face, ignoring God's silly words.
And just like that… Knox was gone.
The void hung quiet in his absence, still and immeasurable. The remnants of divine fire from the contract flickered once, then died out.
God, if that truly was who it had been, remained motionless. The entity did not sigh, did not blink, did not so much as twitch. Only the faintest pulse of cosmic resonance echoed outward, like the aftershocks of something long foreseen but still deeply, profoundly annoying.
"…MORTALS," the being finally muttered.
Its divine irritation echoed, casually shattering multiple lesser universes.