"Unexpected," I say in surprise, watching the various personalities milling about in front of the entrance to Mephisto's dimension, which looked like a funnel in the middle of space. It was a beautiful and deadly sight.
"How long will these 'heroes' stand around the entrance like schoolchildren in front of a brothel?" Hela asks me, sitting next to me and sipping juice. "I'm tired of waiting.
"Patience is a virtue," I said, raising my finger in a lecturing manner. "Take Phoenix as an example," I said, nodding towards the bird sitting with us, having changed its appearance and hidden its powers. "Calm as a snake, at least on the outside." The goddess merely snorted, but stopped showing her impatience.
Spreading rumours across the galaxy was easy. We changed our appearance, entered a tavern where scum and mercenaries gathered, and whispered the "secret" in drunken whispers. Always, according to all the rules of the genre, such places are frequented by individuals who gather information and pass it on to those who are interested. And so, after a good thousand taverns and a hundred planets (the most visited ones), almost everyone who needed to know about the "kidnapping" found out.
It was easier with the earthlings. The sudden disappearance of the redhead caused an uproar among the mutants (how could a mutant of such a level just vanish?) and Fury's people. And the Guardians of the Galaxy who arrived told them the whole story. Now, driven by righteous anger, the Avengers and mutants gathered in a group, taking with them the Fantastic Four and a few lone heroes, and set off to rescue their friend/comrade/wife/secret love/user of the Phoenix Force. Emphasise as necessary.
"They're about to start," Jean Grey stretched like a cat. "I sense disturbances in the space around us. Someone is trying to open a passageway."
"Finally!" Hela fidgeted in place. "Can this artefact, invented by Heimdall, see into that dimension?" she asked me.
"Well... yes. Sort of," I replied, scratching my head. "In any case, we'll only use it after our brave rescuers have been transported to that dimension. Hmm," I said thoughtfully, looking at the Kree fleet. "They're risky guys. Going there, where there's such a concentration of creatures that could destroy their armada.
"Those warriors have never been known for their common sense," the goddess shrugged. "When they see a target, they don't see obstacles, because those are destroyed in the process of achieving it."
"Nice," I say, taking a sip of the tart juice. "Oh, there's the first one." I watch as the first ship of the blue-skinned fleet flies into the portal.
"They've decided to sacrifice those who are expendable to weaken the enemy?" The necromancer raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Not very heroic, but I like it," she smiled crookedly.
"I wonder if Thanos will show up? Or will he send one of his 'children'?" I scratch my cheek thoughtfully. "He may have his eye on you, after all."
"I have no idea," the bird dismissed me. "Show me what's happening inside the dimension. The demon is distracted and won't notice us watching."
"Just a moment." I change the position of the magical eye that is flying into the portal. "Okay, the battle seems to have begun. The Kri have decided not to play nice and attacked as soon as they entered.
The battle is fierce, with ships destroying demons in droves until they respond with their destructive spells. But no matter how strong these aliens are, the "boss" quickly solves the problem by destroying the remnants of the fleet.
He could have relaxed and collected the souls of the fools who were stuck in his domain, but that was not to be! The heroes of Mother Earth arrived on the battlefield and began to confront the red-skinned creature. Why did he steal their friend? Mephisto, of course, began to deny everything, but everyone knows him as a notorious liar and doesn't believe a word he says. He even tried to prove that the firebird wasn't in his stash, but no one believed him.
In short, the demon lost his mind, and an epic battle began. The swing of his sword shook the very fabric of space. Even a powerful artefact like the Eye of Hamdal began to malfunction.
"I could watch this forever," Hela said dreamily. "It's about time to show this piece of shit his place. Too bad he fed on souls, you can't win like that.
"If everything goes as planned, he'll fall. "I'll cross my legs.
At that moment, Strange activated the Eye of Agamotto, copying his attack spells, which rushed towards the local Satan at tremendous speed. He was about to close himself off with his magic, but Mr. Fantastic's son knocked him down. This little guy really has cheat powers, allowing him to defeat most villains at such a young age. Of course, it's strange that a couple of superheroes took their child on a mission... Although he could have just sneaked onto the ship and escaped using his powers, and when he appeared, there was no time to send him home, so the kid is just having fun.
"He's weakened," said Grey a few hours later, examining Mephisto's wounded body. "Now he won't be able to escape."
"Then..." I stood up, summoning my artefact and armour. "Could you come with me?"
"Why?" The redhead tilted her head in confusion.
"An alibi. If I show up and finish him off for no reason, it will look suspicious, to say the least. It would look like 'eliminating a rival', but if you're with me, it'll look like a rescue mission." I explain to the girl. "No, of course we could just go in, kill him, and leave, but I'm a decent demon-angel, there's no need to leave a bad impression."
"Fine," the phoenix shrugged indifferently, "it's not as dangerous there as it used to be anyway." She stood up and took on the appearance of Jean Grey. "Shall we go?"
"Hela, are you with us?"
"Nah," the brunette shook her head. "I don't feel like going to the demon dimension. And I don't want to meet the 'heroes' again either."
"Why not? You've never met them before." I raised an eyebrow in mild surprise.
"Pathological intolerance. It's been that way since my trip through the nine worlds with my father. And there," she pointed to the illusion created by the artefact, "there are too many of them per square metre.
"Whatever you say." I shrugged, transporting us to the same coordinates where Heimdall's Eye was located.
"Disgusting. What a horrible place, so much suffering," the redhead wrinkled her nose.
"He's settled in nicely here, nicely. It reminds me of my hell. True, we had cities, forests, fields, lakes, not just rivers of lava." I look around and use my ability to feed on the energy of sin, which is abundant here because of the souls languishing here. Such a concentrate, mmm, it makes you dizzy.
"Are you okay?" Jin suddenly puts her hand on my shoulder and looks at me with concern. "You're shaking."
"Yeah, everything's fine. There's just so much energy, so much sin," my voice takes on a hissing, snake-like tone, "I haven't felt anything like this in so long. Such concentrated power." I take a deep breath, spreading my burning wings, which begin to glow even more intensely.
"Partner," the red one growls warningly, sensing my mood swings. "You know what will happen if you get carried away. Control yourself."
"Everything... will be fine. Okay." I replied curtly, trying to clear my mind. "It just brings back memories. How long has it been since I drew strength from places like this in such quantities?"
"I understand you perfectly, but they'll burn you with their eyes right now," I was reminded of the fiery bird standing next to me, who squeezed my shoulder so hard that if I weren't myself and hadn't fed on sins, I would have been in agony for a long time trying to heal.
"Relax," I said, removing her hand from me. "I'm still here."
"For a second, it seemed like you were overcome with euphoria.
"Actually, it was... — I shrugged, indicating that I had no intention of continuing the conversation. — Let's go before our 'friends' put Mephisto to rest. And I need him alive, for now.
I take off, and the redhead follows me, growing wings of pure flame and flying slightly behind me.
We flew for a long time, making a detour so that we would appear from a distant, unseen corner of the domain where the heroes weren't paying attention. This way, I had an alibi, as if I had been there for some time.
"You!" growled the red-skinned demon as soon as he saw me appear from behind the heroes. "This is all your fault!"
"What is he talking about?" asked the supreme mage who had flown up.
"No idea, I wish I could understand his train of thought." I frowned, trying to look as convincing as possible. "Maybe he's got a grudge against me for losing Zaratos, his favourite toy."
"What are you doing here, by the way?" asks Stark, flying up.
"Hello," I nod to Tony. "Just walking with my new friend." At that moment, a phoenix appears behind me, slightly deforming its body to create the illusion of torture. "Heh, proactive."
"Good thing you managed to get her out," the mage relaxes a little. "It would have been very bad if Mephisto found a way to get her powers."
"So..." Stark hesitates a little. "Did you find what we were looking for?" Steven nods. "Then what should we do with him?" He nods towards the bound supreme demon mage. "Knowing his nature, he will seek revenge."
All the remaining heroes listened to our conversation, strangely enough without suffering any losses in their ranks. Yes, there were some seriously wounded, but none critically.
"I have an idea how to protect the world from him. Doctor, would you mind strengthening your magical bonds so that the patient doesn't decide to leave us?"
"What do you intend to do with him?" Stark asked, his suit allowing those around us to hear us as they actively warmed their ears. He himself watched the mage, who was feeding additional energy into his magical weave.
"We will rid the world of one of the strongest demons," I shrugged and grabbed my artefact more comfortably. "One stroke of the sword will solve all problems. He will never again threaten anyone in this world.
"Are you going to kill him with that?" The iron man looked at me like I was crazy. Oh yes, the artefact doesn't emit energy until I want it to, so the instruments don't register its magical origin.
"Oh, don't worry," I smiled encouragingly, "This is the most divine artefact there is. Its power is potentially comparable to your Infinity Stones. But if they only work in your world, my sword works in any. True, it needs some upgrading.
"What a strange weapon," the doctor said thoughtfully.
I approached the demon, who was staring at me with wide eyes.
"You! This is all your fault! You're a liar who set everything up to suit yourself! You set this pack of dogs on me!" Mephisto growled. "And you idiots fell for his tricks!" The emophones crackled with the heroes' bewilderment.
"You think," I say loudly so that Stark's devices can pick up my words and relay them to everyone around. "That your lies will help you escape?" The blade of my sword leaves a small cut on his skin. "Has the most famous deceiver in the world really decided that they will believe him after all his intrigues? Do you think they're idiots?"
"R-r-r! When I get my hands on you..." the demon screams in my face, but is cut off by the blade of my weapon piercing his heart.
"You'll never get to me." A smile crept across my face as I felt his soul flow into the artefact. "Your soul belongs to me! You pathetic demon." The energy of sin was still pounding in my brain, so I blurted it out in the heat of the moment. Something had gotten the better of me.
My wings began to smoulder more intensely, drawing attention to themselves. The energy of this dimension, having lost its reference point in Mephisto, became more chaotic, because he was what held everything together here. I began to absorb it on impulse until I was hit in the head by the dragon, who sighed and lamented the "psycho carrier."
"That's it," I sighed, trying to clear my head of unnecessary thoughts. "What did you decide?" I asked the phoenix, who had been watching what was happening distractedly.
"I..." She stumbles and sinks into her thoughts.
"What are you talking about?" Stark, restless, decided to stay in the loop.
"Oh, just this and that," I smile slightly, looking at the picture of a cosmic entity that doesn't know what to do.
She needs to make up her mind. Create a body for Grey and put her soul in it, or continue living her life. Yes, we had already discussed this, but as is usually the case, at the moment when it is time to carry out the plan, doubts arise that prevent everything from happening. Right now, I saw them on her face. This struggle with herself was visible to everyone around her.
"She needs to decide what to do next. A turning point, so to speak." I leaned on my sword, continuing to watch the phoenix's changing emotions.
And it seems that Stark's sudden flash of understanding led him to some conclusion...
"Oh," he slapped his fist against his palm, "So between you two..." He came to a completely wrong conclusion.
"Tony, my friend," I massage my forehead. "Your brilliant mind has come up with a completely wrong idea. This... um.
"Many agree with you on that," Strange said meaningfully.
"Hey! What's wrong?!" The playboy's indignant cry was ignored.
While we were talking, a ship flew up to us with He's team on board. Out of it came... quite a lot of people, somehow.
"Lucifer," the professor nodded cheerfully as he walked towards me. "Glad you helped.
"Don't mention it, Charles. It was in my best interest, after all, as you may have heard, he was a little angry with me." I looked at those who had come with him.
There was a colourful group here, which included almost the entire main members of the opposing Xavier faction. Magneto sized me up with an appraising glance and, coming to some conclusion, nodded. Scott was here too! You're my joy, you're my golden boy... annoying, bitch, leprechaun golden boy.
As soon as the ladder was lowered, this wretched man jumped like a mountain goat to his beloved, whom he began to hug and squeeze in every way possible after their long separation. And all this was accompanied by knowing nods from those around them.
"Gina, I'm so glad you're all right," said the cyclops for the umpteenth time. "Let's go home, back to Earth.
But judging by her face and emotions, the phoenix herself was not here. More precisely, the girl was still deciding what to do, weighing all the pros and cons. Her thoughts took an hour and a half, during which Summers did not leave her side. God, why is he so clingy? Can't you see she's thinking? Leave her alone and don't flash her. Maybe Summers was better before? Although in the comics he cheated on her with Emma Frost.
But finally, Gina decides to speak up. Hallelujah. She should have left right after he killed the demon, but damn, it's interesting.
"Darling?" Scott was surprised by the sudden change in the redhead's mood.
"Lucifer, I've made a decision." She used her power to restore her body to its normal appearance and approached me, under the astonished glances of those around us. Well, yes, her hair, literally burning with red flames, seemed to hint at the seriousness of the moment.
"I'm listening carefully." I took the most appropriate stance for such a conversation and secured my sword at my waist.
"I agree.
"...
"...
"..." — Was it just me, or did Stark's AI suit just crash, judging by the scientist's language?
"How can I put this? — My eyelid started twitching." — You just blew the minds of almost everyone here with those two words. And what kind of question did I ask you that would elicit such a response?" — What is going on in this bird's head?
"After everything you've done for me, opening my eyes to what I was ignoring and denying, I've decided to do what I want. My decision is not influenced by external factors such as 'extra memory'. I know you're not from this world, you're looking for a way home, I learned that from Hela's memory. I'm sorry, it just happened. Ahem, so here's the thing. Soon you will leave this world and take the goddess of death with you, because you are too greedy to lose what you consider yours. I want to be with you." She said it all in one breath... She definitely has red hair. She has no soul! How can she say such a thing with that expression on her face?
An uncomfortable silence ensued. Hatred awakened in Summers, caused by the thought, "He took my wife away from me!" But I'm not interested in her as a girl. Ugh... What a disaster, where are the lifesaving "pianos" when you need them so badly?
"Wait a minute!" A portal opened next to us, and Hela emerged. "Did I understand you correctly, you want to come with us?" Her eyes narrowed and her voice became so quiet that only I, the phoenix, and Stephen, who was standing too close, could hear her. "Are you out of your mind, asking another man out?" The magician choked on his words and, blushing with embarrassment, began to cough.
"I'm not claiming anything, because he already has other girls he cares about besides you." Grey didn't bother to lower her voice.
"Have you been digging around in my head?" I narrowed my eyes at this statement.
"No. Not exactly." She sighed. "Your thoughts are protected by an artefact and thousands of voices, and it's impossible to make sense of this chaos and cacophony. I just scanned your brain for memories. I couldn't see all of your memories, but I saw the most vivid moments."
"Do you have other girlfriends?" the goddess began uncertainly, digesting the new information. It was strange that her formidable character became more gentle when talking to me.
"Yes," I nodded, "I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you, but under different circumstances." I pointed to the surroundings with my eyes. "But I won't turn away from you," I said, approaching and hugging the lady. "As I said, I'm too greedy for that." I whispered in her ear, using my aura directed only at her to soften the effect of the sudden news and set the mood I wanted. "Will you come with me? Or..." I step back slightly, looking into her eyes. I add a look of sadness and, so to speak, "rub salt in the wound." "...have new circumstances ruined everything?"
"No!" — coming out of her stupor, the goddess cried out softly, "It's just that it was unexpected. I may be the owner, but I don't want to lose you. You're the first person who isn't afraid of me, who sees me as a woman and not a divine necromancer, a monstrous spawn of Odin who bathed in the blood of nine worlds. She curled her fingers. "And perhaps the only one." Hela looked into my eyes and, gathering all her determination, nodded to herself. "I don't mind, but I want... no, I demand that you don't forget me."
"Never." I smiled, hugging the girl, who was glowing with joy, and kissed her on the forehead.
"What's that? Did he officially set up a harem?" Stark whispered to Stephen.
"Tony-yy," Strange's hand met his face. "God, what did I do to deserve this?" he moaned into the air.
"For your sins, of course," I reply in the tone of a Zen monk, earning myself a scorching glance from the supreme wizard of Earth.
Somewhere in the background, Scott had caught up with Jean. But everyone ignored them, because Satan's personal life was more interesting.
The space around them began to crack at the seams, energy waves began to disable all the equipment, which began to fall onto the red ground of Mephisto's dimension.
"What's going on?!" Stark shouted.
"N-no, it can't be!" Strange panicked.
"What is it, Doc? Why are you so scared?" The mage's panic spread to those around him, as everyone knew about his calm nature and almost complete absence of negative emotions in stressful situations.
"I've only encountered a creature like this once. And that was in one of the possible futures," the magician began, looking around.
"Are you going to answer or keep stalling?" the scientist asked nervously.
"This is the Tribunal — the embodiment of the will of the Almighty, the creator of worlds," the phoenix ignored Summers' next speech and approached our group. "What does it want?"
"To remove the mistake that is causing chaos in the universe. The one who disrupted the natural order." A humanoid figure with golden skin and several faces appeared before us. "Don't worry, no one is going to kill you. I'm just deporting you to another multiverse.
He created a portal that sucked me in. I didn't even have time to move before I disappeared to the other side, my whole body feeling the unpleasant effects of the interdimensional "atmosphere."
The last thing I heard was, "Now nothing will disrupt the course of events."
Okay. I got it, I accepted it, I realised that the local big boss didn't want me there.
"Great, but what about Hela? I don't give a shit about the phoenix, give me back what's mine!" I shouted into the closing portal, hoping for a response. But nothing! The damn thing was silent.
***
After Satan's disappearance, the goddess of death decided to find him with all her might. The necromancer devoted herself to studying spatial magic, which allowed her to understand the structure of the universe and find a way to get beyond its limits. She spent thousands of hours creating the ritual she needed. She was helped in this by Grey, who had decided to travel with her new friend.
They spent many days trying to achieve their goal and found a common language. It turned out that the firebird did not want to be in a "harem"... perhaps she had not yet made up her mind and simply wanted to travel with Satan, to leave the world she had grown tired of. That is why she decided to do this.
The heroes didn't care, because a potential threat to their world had disappeared. Only Thor was sad, having lost his drinking buddy and the only person who could understand his current situation. After all, pregnant Sif was very... scary when she didn't get her jar of pickled fish heads.
"Finally!" exclaimed the goddess of death, looking at the archway of the portal. "Everything has been taken care of, we can start searching for Lucius. Jin," she said to her friend, who was standing with a bag full of various items, "Are you ready?"
"Yes." With a decisive nod, both girls stepped into the blackness of the unknown.
***
I woke up on soft grass (at least that was something different), it was light around me, but the space was illuminated by crystals growing from the walls and ceiling of the cave, and around them grew a whole jungle. Damn, a cave is not the best place for a fight, especially with a sword and swing like mine.
I could hear the voices of many people discussing something. Deciding not to stick my neck out for now, I decided to eavesdrop and figure out "what," "where," and "when."
"This was supposed to be our date," said a cute loli with big... boobs. "Then why are they all here?" The girl in the white dress with two pigtails looked gloomily at the people in front of her. A boy with white hair and red eyes was pushing her from behind, smiling shyly. He was the spitting image of OYASH!
"Mr. Bell, look!" shouted the loli with ears, standing next to a colourful group that included gods... Right, right, right. This will be interesting if what my memory tells me is true.