"Me, pull that off? Eh, might be fun to go all out for once," Argo said with a grin.
"I'm in!" Rose declared enthusiastically.
Argo and Rose reacted to Elsa's proposal in opposite ways—Argo with cautious intrigue, Rose with eager excitement. Asuna, meanwhile, seemed deep in thought, weighing the plan's implications.
"Of course, if you're not cool with it, Asuna, we'll scrap it," Elsa said. "But violence is off the table, and those two clearly don't listen. So, to hit 'em where it hurts…"
"Let's do it," Asuna said firmly.
Whether spurred by Elsa's words or her own resolve, Asuna's decision was clear.
"I'm gonna show those two just how much of a real catch my boyfriend is now."
If their old classmates heard that, they'd swear "real catch" was the last phrase they'd ever associate with Hachiman. Even if you threw those words at him, he'd just blink in confusion. His self-esteem remained stubbornly low—a virtue in its own way, but one that sometimes frustrated his girlfriend. Asuna's pride as Hachiman's partner had clearly been ignited by Elsa's scheme.
"Rose-chan and Argo-chan already agreed to help, so we're good there," Elsa continued.
"I did say that…" Argo muttered.
"Happy to help!" Rose chirped.
"But I'd love for those three over there to join in too," Elsa said, pointing at Yukino, Yui, and Yumiko.
"Leave the convincing to me," Asuna said with a sly smirk. "Not that they'd ever say no."
Asuna approached the trio, explaining the plan. As predicted, Yukino, Yui, and Yumiko nodded eagerly, clearly on board. With that, Asuna rallied everyone considered part of Hachiman's crew. Somehow, even Minami and her father Godfrey got roped in.
"W-Wait, I'm doing that?" Minami stammered.
"My Minami by the Commander's side? I've gotta record this!" Godfrey exclaimed, already pulling out his phone.
"It feels a bit off from repaying a debt, but… alright, I'm in!" Minami said, rallying herself.
When Asuna formally introduced Elsa, the group erupted in murmurs.
"I knew she looked familiar… Since when is Hachiman-kun pals with Kanzaki Elsa?" Yukino asked, stunned.
"Uh, well…" Hachiman faltered.
"Actually, Elsa-san was in SAO's beta test," Asuna cut in.
"Y-Yeah, that's right!" Elsa nodded, playing along.
Elsa hesitated, unsure if she should spill the truth, and glanced at Asuna. Asuna, realizing mentioning Gun Gale Online (GGO) here would complicate things, had thrown out a half-truth. It wasn't a lie—Elsa had been in SAO's beta—but it cleverly sidestepped their GGO connection. Normally, Yukino's sharp instincts might've caught Asuna's dodge, but she was too shocked to notice. Asuna's quick thinking let the group's assumptions about SAO cover the GGO angle. Lucky for her, Kirito and Lisbeth weren't there—they knew Hachiman hadn't been in the beta, only an earlier test phase, and would've called her out later.
"No way, for real? Hikitani-kun's beyond respect at this point—he's, like, God Hikitani-kun!" Tobe exclaimed.
"Oh, can I get your autograph later? I'm a huge fan!" Yui added.
"Yui, you better have grabbed an extra poster for me too," Yumiko teased.
Hachiman, still fending off Yukko and Haruka alone, noticed the group's scheming. If you're gonna do something, do it already, he thought, stealing glances their way. When Asuna stood and gave a signal, he sighed in relief—only to realize he was in for something far worse.
"Mic check, mic check—alright, we're good! Let's kick off the Hikitani-kun Show with our first duo!" Tobe announced.
"What the hell is that? Oi, Tobe, what's going—" Hachiman started.
But Tobe just winked and barreled on with his emcee act.
"The mysterious beauty Argo-chan and our very own class rep, Sagami Minami!"
"Let's do this, Sagami!" Argo said.
"Yeah, Argo-san, right? Let's go!" Minami replied.
To Hachiman's shock, the two stepped forward and latched onto his arms.
"Wait, didn't Sagami hate Hikigaya?" someone in the crowd whispered.
"And that other girl… isn't she kinda cute?" another added.
The room buzzed with confusion at the unexpected display.
"What are you two doing?" Hachiman hissed.
"No biggie, right? A-chan gave the green light, so I'm cashing in on some perks," Argo said with a smirk.
"Perks? What perks?" Hachiman demanded.
"Don't make me spell it out, you dense blockhead," Argo teased.
Before Hachiman could retort, Minami spoke up, her voice sincere.
"Hey, Hikigaya, thank you so much for saving my dad."
Her heartfelt gratitude softened Hachiman's expression. He looked at her gently and said, "I'm glad it worked out, Sagami."
"Yeah, all thanks to you! So, um… this is my way of saying thanks!"
With that, Minami leaned in and kissed Hachiman's cheek.
The crowd erupted in gasps. Godfrey, beaming, snapped photos like a proud parent.
"Not bad, Sagami! Guess I won't hold back either," Argo declared, planting a kiss on Hachiman's other cheek before both stepped back, leaving him frozen. Tobe jumped in with the next announcement.
"Next up, the stunning duo of Rosalia-san and Yui Yuigahama—the Twin Peaks!"
"Twin… what?" Yui blinked.
"Like this," Rose said, grabbing Hachiman's arm and pressing it against her ample chest.
"Oh!" Yui exclaimed, mimicking Rose perfectly.
Hachiman, unable to move or speak, was utterly paralyzed. Rose leaned in harder, and Yui, not to be outdone, matched her. The guys in the crowd were glued to the scene, earning glares from the girls. Yukino shot Tobe an icy stare, signaling enough. Tobe, sweating, averted his eyes from the spectacle and called out.
"Alright, two ladies with… impressive assets! Let's hear it, guys!"
The male crowd roared with applause. For Rose, this was the peak of her life—though who knows what the future holds, so we'll call it her peak for now. As for Yui, as she stepped back, someone tapped her shoulder. Yukino, naturally. Yui flinched, but Yukino's neutral expression reassured her—until she noticed otherwise.
"Yui-yui, weren't you worried about gaining weight lately?" Yukino said coolly. "I know the perfect diet. Want to hear it?"
"Really? Tell me, tell me!" Yui said eagerly, oblivious to the shift.
"Starve," Yukino said flatly.
"…Huh?"
"If you burn fat, you lose weight, obviously. So starve—now."
"W-Wait, what…?"
"That useless lump of fat, obviously. You know what I mean, don't you?"
"I'm sorry for getting carried away!" Yui blurted, bowing frantically.
Tobe, sensing a dark aura radiating from Yukino, hurriedly moved on. "Next, our school's pride—the Twin Queens! The Ice Queen and… uh, Asuna-san, you serious about this script? Alright, fine… the Ice Queen and the Inferno Queen!"
Glaring at Tobe, Yukino and Yumiko relented when he whispered, "Asuna-san's scary, okay? And this is for Hikitani-kun, right? Come on, let's do this!"
The two glanced at the still-frozen Hachiman, then locked eyes with each other, rivalry flaring.
"No backing down here," Yukino said. "I'm not losing."
"I'm going all out too," Yumiko shot back.
They marched toward Hachiman. The crowd, still buzzing from Rose and Yui's performance, fell silent. Yumiko struck first, wrapping her leg around Hachiman's and enveloping him in a passionate embrace. The pair looked surprisingly good together, and the crowd suddenly realized Hachiman's features were actually quite striking.
"They kinda… work," someone murmured.
"I've been thinking—when did Miura get so close to Hikigaya?" another whispered.
"Hikigaya's been a total chick magnet this whole time. And, like, he's kinda hot if you look closely…"
Yumiko was just following her instincts, but the stark contrast to her high school dynamic with Hachiman unintentionally reshaped how everyone saw him. Yukino, sensing the crowd's shifting perception, decided she needed to act—both to one-up Yumiko and support Hachiman. What's my strength? Sharp wit and unmatched cat knowledge.
(Really, it's just biting sarcasm and a cat obsession, but Yukino didn't see it that way.)
"Nya… nyaa…"
Blushing but determined, Yukino clung to Hachiman's arm, meowing softly before nipping his earlobe. Hachiman snapped out of his daze, staring at her in shock. Startled by how close their faces were, Yukino instinctively rubbed her cheek against his, then faced Yukko and Haruka, who stood dumbfounded.
"So, how's that? The guy at the center of all this is this popular with girls… nyaa!"
The room froze. Even Hachiman was stunned. Only Asuna, grinning, gave Yukino a thumbs-up, as if saying, Nice one, Yukino—you broke another shell! (At least, that's how it looked to outsiders.) The crowd whispered in disbelief.
"Yukino-san's not that kind of character, right?"
"No way, she's not. So… this is all Hikigaya's fault?"
"Man, Hikigaya-kun's not just Hikigaya—he's Hikigaya-san."
(What are you, Tobe's cousin? Hachiman retorted inwardly.)
"Oi, what the hell's going on here?" he demanded, turning to Yukino and Yumiko.
"Elsa-san said we should show those two how awesome you are," Yumiko explained.
"And how does that lead to this?"
"She said a guy who's popular with all kinds of girls seems impressive, right?" Yukino added.
"Damn you, Elsa…" Hachiman growled, shooting her a glare.
Elsa, as if his scowl were a reward, shivered with delight before announcing, "Now, the main event!" She and Asuna stepped forward as Yukino and Yumiko retreated, flanking Hachiman.
"Oi, Elsa, I thought you were a sadist—what's with that look?" Hachiman snapped.
"Uh… Hachiman-exclusive?" Elsa teased.
"You pervert… And Asuna, what's next?"
"An improv performance," Asuna said with a smirk.
"So, I heard Asuna's a pro at singing my songs with choreography at karaoke," Elsa added.
"Oh, really? You gotta show me sometime—wait, no, hold up, you're not—" Hachiman stammered.
"With me here, we've gotta show those two that even celebrities are into Hachiman," Elsa declared. "Tobe-kun, hit the music!"
At Elsa's cue, Tobe signaled the staff, and Kanzaki Elsa's music blared through the room at full volume.
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