It appeared that Hachiman had dropped his stance at the very last second, narrowly evading the attack. Conversely, Kuradeel found himself struck by his own baton—now held in Hachiman's hand.
Realizing this, Kuradeel glared at Hachiman with eyes full of hatred.
"W-Was this a trap...?"
"A trap? You're the one who tried to ambush us, aren't you? I merely acted in self-defense. Isn't that right, Asakage-san?"
"Yes, exactly right. You really are a fool, brother. If you had just left Japan quietly, Hikigaya-san intended to let you go."
"T-Then why are you carrying a baton!"
"Just for self-defense. Honestly, ever since I came back here, I get anxious if I'm not carrying a weapon. I can't settle down without something like this on hand. Though, I admit, I predicted that if you were going to attack us, it would be here."
"Hachiman!"
In the next instant, Elsa, having sprinted over at incredible speed, tackled Hachiman in a hug.
"Oh, that was fast. Did you get it on camera?"
"Yeah. The others will be here any second."
True to her word, Kagekiyo, Haruno, and Argo appeared immediately. Kagekiyo, his face trembling with rage, immediately roared at Kuradeel.
"Do you have any idea what you just tried to do, you imbecile!"
"Hii..."
"Hikigaya-san, my foolish son has done something unforgivable... We shall call the police immediately."
Hachiman replied to the furious Kagekiyo in a laid-back tone.
"Now, now, President. We have the evidence, so we can call the police anytime. Before that, why don't we have a little chat?"
"R-Right, if you say so, Hikigaya-san..."
The group relocated to the President's office. Just to be safe, Kuradeel had his hands and feet bound.
"Your actions were all captured on this monitor."
As soon as they arrived, Hachiman addressed Kuradeel.
"Wha... How is there a camera..."
"We came here today to explain it as part of our business alliance. That spot is the only blind spot for security cameras on this floor. We asked the President to let us install a prototype AI camera we're developing—as a free trial—to detect if any suspicious persons entered that area."
Hachiman gestured to the screen.
"Since talent agencies are full of private information about celebrities, we thought it would help prevent theft or intrusive reporters. We set it up today for a live demonstration, and right as the President was checking the feed, you showed up perfectly on screen, attacking us. That's the gist of it."
"N-No way..."
(Well, that's the official story. In reality, I just figured that if you were going to pull something, it would have to be there, so I set it up.)
Hachiman kept that thought to himself and looked toward Kagekiyo.
"Exactly. I couldn't believe my eyes. I never thought you were this foolish of a man."
"Guh..."
Kuradeel hung his head and began banging his forehead against the floor—gon, gon.
"Stop it! Be quiet, you idiot!"
Kagekiyo shouted Kuradeel down, then turned back to face Hachiman.
"Looking at how this turned out, even I can see things clearly now. Hikigaya-san, did you predict this would happen from the very beginning?"
Hachiman hesitated, wondering how to answer without hurting Kagekiyo too deeply. Seeing his hesitation, Kagekiyo spoke with a serious expression.
"I want to know the truth. Please, Hikigaya-san, do not worry about my feelings. Could you tell me not just about this incident, but about the past as well?"
"...Understood."
Hachiman began by explaining what had happened in SAO.
"We... actually, let me speak plainly from here on out. That day we were trapped in SAO, I happened to be with Asuna. She was using a male avatar at first. I caught her panicking, unable to find the logout button, and since I figured emergency maintenance was coming, I started teaching her the basics of combat to kill time."
"Asuna... you mean that Asuna-san?"
"Yes. In the middle of that, everyone was forcibly teleported to the plaza, and Akihiko Kayaba declared the start of the death game. We were forced back into our real-world appearances. I panicked pretty badly. I just wanted to save the 'newbie' I was with, so without even checking her appearance, I grabbed her hand and dragged her to a hidden inn I knew about. That was when I first realized Asuna was a girl."
Hachiman sighed nostalgically.
"I really lost my cool back then. I thought I was saving a rookie guy, only to find out it was a girl. From there, Asuna and I decided to stick together. Through various twists and turns, Asuna ended up joining the guild Knights of the Blood. Originally, I was the one who was supposed to join—reluctantly—but Asuna volunteered to take my place."
"We couldn't be together all the time after that, but we stayed in close contact, fought together, and hung out with friends. We naturally walked side-by-side. And when the game clearing was well underway, this guy showed up."
Hachiman shot a glance at Kuradeel.
"He started out as Asuna's bodyguard. Then he came at me, saying things like, 'Are you the pest that's been clinging to Asuna-sama?' Honestly, I just thought, 'Who is this delusional idiot?' Asuna and I had been together by mutual choice since the game started. But after that, he kept watching Asuna's house from early in the morning without permission, following her on her days off... repeated stalker-like behavior. So, one day, I... well, I got a little annoyed and beat the hell out of him in a one-on-one duel."
"Hachiman-kun, don't worry about my feelings. If I were in your position, I would have done the same."
Encouraged by Kagekiyo, Hachiman continued with a wry smile.
"So, after more twists and turns, I ended up joining the Knights of the Blood too. I was assigned to undergo training with Kuradeel and another guy named Godfrey. It was called training, but it was basically a ritual to show off my skills to the other members. That's when it happened..."
"I'll explain this part," Argo interjected.
Kagekiyo looked at her in surprise. "Yumeno-san, don't tell me you were also..."
"Yeah. Yours truly was an information broker in SAO."
Hearing this, Kuradeel looked at Argo in shock. It seemed he hadn't noticed her until now. He ground his teeth audibly.
"You're the Rat... I see. So the one who exposed me back then was you!"
"Yeah. I saw you hanging around with bastards who looked like former members of a murder guild, so I made sure to report it to Ha-bou."
"Murder guild...?" Asakage asked, his voice trembling.
Kagekiyo turned pale and looked at Kuradeel in horror. Kuradeel awkwardly averted his gaze.
"In SAO, there were groups who enjoyed killing other players. The worst of them was the murder guild, Laughing Coffin. Ha-bou and his team went through hell to crush them, but this guy? He was palming around with the remnants."
"Guh... y-you foolish brother..."
"Kagetoki, you..."
Kuradeel remained silent, a sullen look on his face.
"During that training, he tried to kill both me and Godfrey. Luckily, I sensed it coming and had prepared countermeasures. With Asuna's help, we turned the tables on him and threw him into the prison for criminal players. Shortly after that, my friends and I succeeded in clearing the game."
"And the evidence is right here in this data, President."
Haruno pulled a sheet of paper from a collected envelope and handed it to Kagekiyo. Seeing the undeniable truth, Kagekiyo's lips trembled.
"You did things deserving of death, and you were spared... yet you still behave like this..."
Kagekiyo looked at Kuradeel with profound sadness. But Kuradeel showed no remorse and began to argue.
"Wrong! Back then, my heart and Vice Commander Asuna-sama's were connected! He just got jealous and fabricated that story! There is no reason for Asuna-sama to hate me, a man loved by everyone!"
"That is genuinely repulsive..." Elsa spat out.
Kuradeel turned to her. "Elsa! You always whispered words of love to me through your songs! You're just confused and misunderstanding things because that man is deceiving you!"
In response, Elsa hugged Hachiman tightly, making a show of nuzzling against him right in front of Kuradeel.
"W-What are you doing! Get away from my woman this instant!"
Hachiman patted Elsa's head as he continued.
"After the game, I met Kanzaki Elsa. It was a coincidence, but we got along, and one day she consulted me about a problem. She said Kuradeel was persistently hitting on her. She felt indebted to you, President, but she wanted to become independent to get away from him if possible."
Thinking there was no point in sugarcoating it anymore, Hachiman decided to tell the unvarnished truth as requested.
"N-No! Elsa and I are in love! That's all it is, Father!"
"Shut up, you megalomaniac," Asakage said coldly.
"What did you say...? Asakage, you damn younger brother..."
Asakage ignored him and spoke to his father.
"Father, we've already taken testimony from others. The female talent in our agency has the worst possible impression of us right now. One wrong move, and it wouldn't be strange for all of them to request a transfer."
"What..." Kagekiyo was stunned.
"No, that's wrong! They all loved me! I was just giving them my affection to balance things out so they wouldn't get jealous of my relationship with Elsa! It was all for the company, Father!"
Kuradeel's words no longer reached Kagekiyo. Completely ignoring him, Kagekiyo exchanged a look with Asakage, his face filled with bitterness.
"Because... because I kept watching and waiting, hoping this foolish son would reform, things have come to this..."
"I share the blame, Father. Until Hikigaya-san and the others told me, I didn't realize it either."
Kagekiyo bowed his head toward Elsa, who was still clinging to Hachiman.
"Elsa, I am truly sorry. We made you suffer through so much."
"President, I have Hachiman with me now, so I'm okay. So please, stop worrying about it, okay?"
"I see. So Hikigaya-san is Elsa's support now."
"Yeah. I'm really sorry I lied about wanting to be independent. But it's true that I want to test my own strength. My heart is supported by Hachiman now, so I think I can do my best no matter how hard things get!"
"I see, I see. Elsa really likes Hikigaya-san. But Hikigaya-san already has a wonderful partner named Asuna-san. Are you okay with that, Elsa?"
Hearing this, Kuradeel exploded in rage again.
"W-What?! You bastard, since when have you and Asuna-sama...!"
"Since when? Well, Asuna and I are planning to get married soon."
"I-I won't allow it! I will absolutely never allow that!"
"I wasn't asking for your permission."
Hachiman dismissed him coldly. Elsa, glancing sideways at the exchange, spoke brightly to Kagekiyo.
"Asuna is my friend, and just being near Hachiman fulfills me, so I'm totally fine, President!"
"Is that so? If that's the case, then it's fine. Hikigaya-san, please take care of Elsa."
Hachiman nodded firmly.
"Yes. Once someone is my ally, I never abandon them. I'll protect her with everything I've got, so please rest assured. Though, I won't spoil her too much."
"Thank you, Hikigaya-san."
"President, we will proceed with the business alliance as planned. Please make sure to reward the women in your agency for the hardships they've endured."
"Thank you, President Yukinoshita. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart."
"Father, let's go apologize to everyone together."
"Yes... I'm sorry to put the burden on you. I'm counting on you, Asakage. You are the next President."
With everything settled, the only remaining issue was how to deal with Kuradeel.
"Hikigaya-san, I believe we have no choice but to hand him over to the police."
"But if we do that, it could become a scandal and put Kura Agency at risk. Nobody was actually injured this time, so I don't think we necessarily need to call the police."
"But we cannot simply let this go unpunished..."
"Actually, President, I have something here."
Hachiman handed a memo to Kagekiyo.
"This is...? Excuse me, but these items listed here don't seem sane..."
"Apparently, it's the curriculum list for a certain correctional facility run by the Yuki family."
"You don't mean... the Yuki Institute?"
"Oh, you know it?"
"Wha—Stop it! I was just responding to their love! I don't need any correction!"
Kuradeel started shouting again, but no one paid him any mind.
"Yes. It's only a rumor, but they say it's a legendary institute that boasts a 100% rehabilitation rate."
"How about we throw him in there?"
"Hmm..."
seeing Kagekiyo deep in thought, Hachiman smiled.
"Actually, because I beat the head of that family the other day, I've been designated as the next head of the Yuki family. So, if I ask, I think they'll put together a curriculum even stricter than usual... well, just short of killing him."
Hachiman placed the curriculum memo where Kuradeel could see it clearly. Kuradeel's face went pale.
"W-What is this..."
As despair seeped into Kuradeel's expression, Hachiman quietly asked, "By the way, are you still connected to Laughing Coffin?"
"H-How could I be with people like that?! They are genuine lunatics!"
"I suspect even they wouldn't want to hear that from you..."
Kagekiyo looked at Hachiman with admiration.
"To think... you are the head of that Yuki family... Hikigaya-san, the scale of your existence is beyond ordinary measure."
"No, well, it's just in name only. I plan to dump all the actual power and work onto someone else." Hachiman said bashfully.
"By the way, President," Haruno interjected, "he is also tentatively decided as our next President. And eventually, the entire Yukinoshita family will likely follow his commands. When that time comes, perhaps even Recto..."
"My word..."
"That is incredible..."
Kagekiyo and Asakage exchanged glances. Reaching a silent agreement, Asakage spoke to Hachiman.
"When that time comes, please let us join under your umbrella."
"Eh? Ah, no... uh, Sis, what should I do here..."
"In times like this, you just smile and say, 'Understood.'"
"Seriously...?"
Receiving expectant gazes from everyone, Hachiman smiled.
"Understood. If that happens, let's do our best together."
"Yes, thank you very much!"
Elsa was looking at Hachiman as if he were a god. It seemed her faith in him had leveled up even further. Simultaneously, she resolved in her heart to go home and pant over that video again.
"Then, we leave his punishment entirely to you."
"Yes. I'll take responsibility and have him thrown into the Yuki Institute. Sis, please arrange the personnel."
"Already done. They'll be here shortly."
"As expected of the Demon King, you work fast! It's thrilling! It's admiring!"
"Fufu, do you want to aim to be a Demon King with your songs too, Elsa-chan?"
"I hadn't thought of that... I'll try it, Demon King-sama!"
Hachiman silently dropped a fist onto Elsa's head as she tried to sprint off in a bizarre direction. Elsa didn't seem in pain; rather, she looked excited. She hugged Hachiman from the front, buried her face in his chest, and spoke happily.
"Hachiman, really, thank you. I love you!"
"Yeah, well, I'm not all that, but... you're welcome?"
"Cruel! And a question mark?! But I love that part too!"
"Hah... You really do convert everything I say into 'like', don't you?"
"Yep! I really like you! I love you!"
Kuradeel was eventually hauled away—dona-dona style—by the burly men Haruno had arranged. When Hachiman contacted Kiyomori, the old man readily agreed to the request.
"Leave it to me. I'll consult with the headmaster and treat him to a special course personally."
"Hey, make sure you don't accidentally kill him."
"We'll make it a special three-year course."
And so, the original plan to help Elsa become independent and eliminate Kuradeel was executed perfectly. Unfortunately, they didn't gain any leads on the Laughing Coffin remnants, but aside from Kuradeel, everyone became a little happier than they were before.
Meanwhile, having asked Benkei for protection, Sinon logged in to practice with her Hecate II. She noticed a crowd gathering in the plaza and walked toward it with Benkei.
"What is it, Kay?"
"I wonder. Let's take a look."
What the two saw was an announcement: The second Bullet of Bullets (BoB) would be held in one month.
And so, not quite "obliquely upward" (probably), but a quick wrap-up to end things.
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