Where should he even begin? Huening Kai lay sprawled on his bed, eyes tracing the ceiling as thoughts swirled endlessly in his mind. Telling his story wasn't something he was used to-he wasn't exactly a storyteller. But maybe it was time. Maybe someone needed to know who he really was beneath all the sunshine and sugar.
Kai-full name, Huening Kamal Kai-was twenty years old and lived alone. Not entirely independently, since he didn't have a job, but he managed well enough. His parents worked abroad and called him every day, checking in on his well-being. It was lonely without them, but he knew they loved him, and he loved them just the same.
His hobbies were simple and sweet: video games, music, movies, plushie collecting, and eating anything remotely delicious-especially sweets and bread. On the surface, Kai was sunshine personified: bright, kind-hearted, always smiling, endlessly positive.
From the outside, his life looked perfect. He was wealthy, got whatever he wanted, and lacked nothing materially. It seemed enviable.
But beneath that glow, behind every laugh and sugar-high grin, was an aching truth: Kai was lonely.
No one really saw that part of him. Most people assumed he was fine, happy, carefree. But they didn't know that the smile he wore was often fake-something he had learned to wear like a mask.
People didn't become his friends for who he was-they came for his money. They clung to him, used him, made him believe they cared, only to abandon him when there was nothing more to gain. Time and time again, Kai gave people the benefit of the doubt, desperately hoping someone would stay. He let himself be used because the idea of being alone scared him more than the betrayal ever did.
He hated being this way. He hated how he'd become so numb to the pain that pretending to be okay had become second nature. It reminded him of Yeo Joon from At a Distance, Spring is Green-a character whose story mirrored his own far too closely. He, too, had tried to "buy" friendship. And like Joon, he was starting to realize how wrong that was.
Eventually, he snapped. He had cut everyone off. Being friendless was better than being surrounded by liars.
At least, until he met Beomgyu.
There was something different about Beomgyu. Kai didn't know him well yet, but there was a quiet strength to him, something raw and real beneath his cautious exterior. Beomgyu was intelligent, secretive, and careful with his trust-qualities Kai envied and admired. He had a feeling that Beomgyu, too, carried invisible scars.
Perhaps, just maybe, Beomgyu was the one friend he had always been waiting for.
He knew it might be too early to assume, but Kai didn't care. He'd take the risk. And if Beomgyu hurt him like the others? He'd survive. He always had.
Kai could also admit, without shame, that he was easily infatuated. He fell fast, especially if someone met even a few of his standards. He was gay, open-hearted, a little wild, and a whole lot of dramatic-but it was just who he was. Flamboyant, sassy, occasionally childish, and mischievously innocent.
And yes, he had a massive crush on Sir Soobin.
It was love at first sight, at least in his mind. Whether it was real or just a phase, he didn't know. All he wanted was to get close to him, to find out if the feeling was genuine. Beomgyu had warned him that teacher-student relationships were illegal, and he wasn't wrong-but Kai believed love had no boundaries. As long as it was real, it would find a way.
He wasn't desperate for attention anymore. But he was still desperate for truth-true affection, true friendship, true connection.
Even if he had to cry a million times, Kai was determined to find it.
That night, after exchanging numbers with Beomgyu, Kai lay in bed smiling to himself. Should I text him now? he wondered, feeling an unexpected thrill in his chest.
Before he could decide, his thoughts drifted to his old friends. He wondered where they were now, if they thought of him at all. He hoped they were far away, living their own lives. He didn't hate them-not really. He just hoped he'd never have to see them again.
With a final exhale, he picked up his phone and typed a message.
Kai:
Hey, I just got home! Thank you so much for today. I really appreciate it a lot. I hope we can get even closer to each other. We'll have fun every day and get crazy like friends do haha. How about you? Are you home yet?
+×+
Beomgyu stepped into the house and was immediately swallowed by an oppressive silence. The living room was dimly lit, and his instincts told him exactly what was waiting for him.
His mother sat on the sofa like a statue, legs crossed, arms folded, eyes sharp and cold. Beomgyu froze as their gazes met.
"Where have you been?" she asked, her voice low and serious.
"I-I went to a café... I wanted to try something sweet," he stammered.
She scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief. "You know the rules. After school, you come straight home. No detours. Don't tell me you were hanging out with someone for fun."
"No! I wasn't-I was just... by myself," he lied, voice shaking.
"You're lucky your father's not home," she snapped. "If he found out you were late, you'd be in real trouble. And if I ever find out you're seeing anyone or wasting time, you'll regret it. You need to focus on your studies. That's all that matters. You should aim to be successful and superior-just like us."
Beomgyu's throat tightened as tears welled up. He nodded and retreated, his feet dragging as he climbed the stairs to his room. Her words echoed in his head like sharp daggers.
Why do they hate me so much? Why can't I live like a normal person?
He collapsed onto the floor just outside his bedroom door, hugging his knees tightly to his chest. His tears flowed freely now, soaking his sleeves as he muffled his cries. He felt so small, so utterly powerless. He couldn't even imagine what freedom looked like anymore.
All he wanted was to be happy.
Was that too much to ask?
Eventually, he made it to his bed, curling up on the mattress and pressing his pillow to his face. He had no appetite left for dinner-not after that. His head was pounding, but he forced himself to check his phone one last time.
A message from Kai.
Kai:
Hey, I just got home! Thank you so much for today. I really appreciate it a lot. I hope we can get even closer to each other. We'll have fun every day and get crazy like friends do haha. How about you? Are you home yet?
Beomgyu stared at the screen for a long moment. The words were simple, but they lifted his heart just a little. Enough to calm the storm inside him.
But he didn't know what to say. Not right now. Not with everything crumbling around him.
Unable to respond, he turned off his phone and hugged it tightly to his chest. As he finally drifted into sleep, his last thought was of Kai's bright smile-so warm, so alive, so different from the cold world he was trapped in.