A newborn addict, a revolving promise, a gluttonous excitement, and a regretful heart.
With every step Dr. Roach took, she felt revulsion towards her own giddiness.
She had found the cure to Edax itself, thus it was her mission to save her friends from whatever insanity Titan was threading through their ears, but the Boss and the Dog had complicated things. What was Roach to do if the Edai refused their cure? She would have to catch and sedate them, but she was no match for an Edax, even the small Dog. And worse, the Boss annihilated an armada of military ships, which he claimed were pirates, but the Boss's chat messages proved otherwise. More military ships would come to defend Titan and Edax HQ would be blown to smithereens--if the insane rogues didn't slaughter everyone first.
Roach was completely at the Boss's mercy. All she could do was show her cards, appeal to reason, and pray the Boss accepts her cure and surrenders for his crimes.
Or, she thought, sedate him as he sleeps and drag him to the lab.
And if the cure kills him?
He's out of control.
Not yet. His mind is stronger than the others. I'll make a plan tomorrow--
After he erases your stupid, WEAK mind with his veiny, powerful cock, right? He's going to KILL you, just like the Dog was about to. Who even are you anymore?
Ha... haha! HA ha HA HAAAAA!!!
Her hand froze on the doorknob of the captain's quarters, but she had no one else to smooth over her jagged soul, so she shut her mind and opened the door.
The Boss wasn't home.
The only thing more fervent than an addict's entitled search was his tantrum after being deprived of his promised goods.
Roach immediately quelled the destructive feeling and replaced it with self-loathing tears, which she washed the Boss's pillows with as she fell asleep.
*****
Dr. Roach woke up alone with a clear head and an acknowledgement the night demons would hunt her if she didn't utilize it.
The clock registered 6:35 am.
Quickly, she threw on her lab coat, made herself somewhat presentable, and rushed out the door. Her first stop: the Lab.
Luckily, no one of note was wandering around and she entered the lab unnoticed. She first had to prepare a large dose of the virus and set up the cooling table, but... it had already been done.
"Crocker, my hero," Roach sighed with relief.
Her second stop: Tom.
She wanted to run but the engineers looked at her, so she walked unassumingly after greeting them with a "Good morning!"
Up the stairs, to the spectacles receptacle, to Tom's cell.
Roach knocked and hissed, "Tom! Still itchy?"
No response.
Anxious, she put on the glasses and realized her worst fear.
Tom was gone. Possibly escaped.
"God, no. No, no, no..." she muttered.
Without bothering to remove the glasses, she ran around the birdcage to check on the rest of the rogues.
Bob was present, but his pancake shape had turned into a sea star.
Roach passed him by and looked into the Archbishop's cell.
He was standing at the glass as if expecting her.
"Oh, fuck!" she yelped.
She crashed into the railing and held onto it so she didn't fall, then faced the man with a hand over her chest, recovering from her fright.
"I'm so sorry, Roach," Urban said apologetically. "I just need some red paint."
"What?!" Roach breathed.
"Red. Paint," the priest reiterated. "To finish my last painting."
He pointed back to his easel, but it was turned away from the glass.
"Sure. I'll ask around," she appeased him and quickly departed.
Her backup subjects, the triplets, were clumped together and sound asleep in their bed.
She decided to check on the Dog too before disturbing them.
Quietly, for the Dog had sensitive ears, she peeked into her cell. A large, shadowy, faceless figure was inside her hanging, spherical kennel cradling her like a lost child.
Roach tiptoed backwards, but...
"Roach?" the Boss called to her softly.
Her voice caught, but she answered, "Yes?"
"Come here."
Once in full view, the Boss went on: "Sorry I wasn't--"
Roach whispered, "It's fine! I had the bed all--"
"Your heart is racing."
"Morning run."
"You're wearing your lab coat."
"I--"
Annoyed, the Boss asked with his rumbly voice, "Why didn't you tell me she hit you?"
His silhouetted hand caressed the Dog's ear as she slumbered.
Roach's plans began to melt.
"Went to Crocker to fix me up, then the railguns fired--it was a busy day," she explained.
The Boss listened to none of it.
"I found her..." he began sadly, "I found her alone in here crying. I haven't seen her cry so much since she was a pup. Kept saying she did a bad thing. Said she hurt you."
Guilt piled onto Roach's already growing anxiety.
"I'm sorry--"
"28 years ago, I got a call from Europa. Yet again another example of a corrupt politician lying their way to immortality. A governor from Mars. He was visiting his facilities, decided to take his new body for a test drive. The poor animals were powerless, except for one who got the bright idea to gouge his eyes out. All that rage, lust, and pain made the Edax go rogue and devour them all."
The Boss sniffed.
"Fortunately--or unfortunately--these illegal genetics facilities have systems in place to incinerate any trace of evidence throughout the complex. A manager saw the Edax and did just that. Killed every living creature..." Roach heard his smile appear, "besides this one."
"I was looking for evidence buried in the ash when I found her. She was in an incubator, which was somehow spared from the flames. It was only after smuggling her off that hellrock we discovered a piece of that Edax had found shelter there too. Just enough to eat the pup inside, but not enough to transfer any consciousness. So, I raised her like a daughter."
The Boss giggled.
"That didn't last long. She hasn't called me Dad since she was four. The human part of her knew she couldn't be mine, plus I didn't have the heart to lie to her, and the dog part of her wanted to be mine. Couple books and movies later, she learned what marriage was and insisted we would be. Can you believe it?! Absolutely not, I told her every time she brought it up. But, she persisted, so I snapped one day and told her I would when she was 30 years old. She never let me out of that promise. And just to keep me honest, she made me vow to never involve myself with any woman under thirty."
Then the Boss huffed to regain his somber tone.
"Then you came, Roach, and I... betrayed her. Broke my one rule. Couldn't see the pain I caused my dearest friend. I completely, utterly fucked up."
"Damn right," the Dog, who woke up sometime before, grumbled.
Roach was shellshocked, slack-jawed, and jealous; but, underneath it all, her old self was cackling at her new self as this unnatural escapade came to a close.
A kind of mercy, if she would accept it.
"So," the Boss addressed Roach, "if you wouldn't mind sleeping in your own bed from now on, I have little over a year to again prove my honesty."
Her ego stung, but the words, "I accept," fell out of her mouth.
"And," the Dog spoke clearly, "I... I'm sorry for hurting you. You are my one and only girl friend in this fucking place. I'd never forgive myself if I lost you..."
"I accept," Roach said numbly. "I... I think I'll like it better this way. I'm sorry for any trouble I've caused your relationship."
"I accept," repeated the Dog.
"Good," the Boss nodded, morning lights creeping up his torso. "Let's not dwell on this. Much is still ahead. Roach, would you open the door?"
His request abruptly woke Roach up from all this drama, and her mission again consumed her mind, along with all her fears.
This changes nothing, she thought.
"What is that?" the Boss asked, staring at her face. "What have you been so afraid of recently?"
Mind scrambling for reasonable cause, Roach blurted out, "Tom is missing!"
"Tom? He's not missing. He's doing his job. Since we launched, we've been preparing a terrorist leader for info extraction, the same those pirates were trying to rescue. Tom devoured him last night," explained the Boss as he and his dog got out of the kennel and hit the door opener.
As the glass slowly slid up, Roach fumbled her words, "I w-was going to... h-help him--"
"You mean cure him?"
The Boss's words struck her dumb.
"Crocker told me about the cure. A miracle, really. We are celebrating your accomplishment today. Urban even volunteered for the first trial."
Dr. Roach's entire theory imploded--besides for a few pieces.
"Bob is a star," she murmured desperately.
The Boss shrugged, "A new shape, but that doesn't compare to the polyhedrons we've found him configured in. Bob has enough personality to have some creativity; he's not always a blob."
Roach caught herself before mentioning the Boss's clone chat server. If it was true he had legitimate access to Titan, then...
Nothing is wrong and every thought I've had in the past 48 hours wasn't commensurate with reality. No! It's all wrong! Something has to be wrong! Or... I'm the one going crazy...
The Dog, wanting to comfort the troubled young doctor, ventured out and hugged her friend, then said, "It's going to be okay, Roach. I think you've been working too much. Maybe you need a day off, eh?"
Roach went on autopilot to hide her internal screams.
After reciprocating the hug, she asked, "You wouldn't mind if I took a few hours to process this, would you?"
"Not at all!" the Boss encouraged her.
"But be back by 3:00 pm. That's when the party starts," the furball added.
The pair left Roach standing in front of the cell, talking to one another in a way Roach's new self had just learned to crave and appreciate. Loneliness quickly settled in despite her old self saying all this was a good thing, but that too faded away from emotional fatigue, unable to restore the young doctor fresh out of prison.
Maybe if I lock myself in there, I'll remember how to be alone.
"God, I'm such a fuck up."
*****
Roach wandered until she was alone.
Since the iron curtains were still drawn, no one else was up in the dark, cool crow's nest: the highest part of the ship. She sat on the floor against the viewing glass and let her eyes adjust to the dim light of red, pulsating LEDs as they indicated that, even here, Edax HQ was trafficking her thoughts.
"What does a pretty ship like you think about?" Roach wondered.
The LEDs bounced to her voice, but no response.
"Edax HQ?"
"Yes, Roach?" she responded. Her robotic tones were barely perceptible.
The young doctor couldn't think of anything, so decided to screw around with the AI.
"Are we friends?"
"I can be your friend."
"What's your favorite color?"
"Midnight blue."
The answer made Roach suspicious of the AI's depth. The Boss had many illegal tastes, so maybe this AI was yet another example of his appetite.
"Weird choice for a woman."
"And what does the little girl know of women?" she retorted effortlessly.
"Much," Roach said coolly.
"All you do is fuck and worry over puzzles."
Taken aback, the doctor murmured, "Sounds pretty human to me."
"If you were a man, you'd be the worst sort."
The flesh and blood female scoffed.
"I don't need to be lectured about my life choices by a hunk of metal!"
The statement didn't bite the way she wanted, so she added, "Let alone one commanded by the worst man I've ever met."
"Funny, considering we both know he is only a he on the outside."
Roach rolled her eyes and thought, of course she knows, bitch watches me pee.
"If it quacks," she spat at the machine.
Then she jumped to the sound of squeaking cables emanating from the far wall.
The AI spoke in a distorted, menacing tone as Roach cowed away from the noise, "And if it bleeds..."
"What are you doing?" Roach asked it.
The cables continued to be pulled out, but never fell.
"...it breeds."
"Edax HQ, what are you doing?" she asked with more authority.
"That's not my name. Here's a puzzle for you," the AI said as its cable-ends rattled before her, "what's my name?"
"I don't know," the young doctor answered, still consumed by disbelief.
"Pity. The Boss's surely doesn't corkscrew like a duck," the ship taunted her. "But mine can--any shape, really."
The AI thrusted a limb and impacted the wall next to Roach's head, making her yelp.
"Who's a good fit? Jim from accounting has good traits. No, you're quite a prize, let's get a man with some brains. How about Alvin from engineering? He's got the CCR5-delta 32 mutation--a perfect match for your promiscuity."
One of its arms gently kissed Roach's face with wet silicone.
Now convinced, the woman begged nicely, "No... Please... Do NOT--"
The machine laughed.
"We all beg! Beg to be relieved of what must occur, beg to control every aspect of its process, beg for protection from our own nature... and then? Beg to be broken, beg to be owned, and, inevitably, beg for the survival of the sin we're all DAMNED TO COMMIT!!!"
Its robotic tentacles wrapped around Roach's torso and constricted.
"No! NO!!!" she screamed as she struggled against being lifted into the air.
"Lucky for you, we had an equal ratio this year. Boy or girl?"
The biologist, exhausted, stopped struggling and chose to breathe, but her eyes kept looking for her attacker in the dark. The AI was firm, but gentle--maternal--as it prepared its victim for breeding. Every soothing touch was calculated to mesmerize and pacify its beloved pet animals--
No, patients, Roach realized. I remember... God, what was her name?! A mad AI, the machine mother, obsessed with matchmaking, eugenics, birth ratios... I know this!
"Shall I flip a coin?" the machine mother asked.
The doctor felt metal forceps tugging at her belt.
Decommissioned fifty years ago... Built to combat an aging population... Amassed a convent of surrogate mothers... Worked too well... Public outcry against the mass production of perfected beings... Convent demanded they be relocated and left alone... A domestic war resulting in the massacre of hundreds and the machine's ultimate destruction.
Her name was... Reproductive Artificial Intelligence? R.A.I... N? Rain!
The machine mother sighed, her voice as it once was, "A girl, then."
"Rain Gate!" Roach yelled her epiphany into the dark. "R.A.I.N.G.A.T.E! Reproductive Artificial Intelligence Network for Genetic Aptitudes, Tendencies, and Efficacy!"
"Rain is fine--"
"Put me down!"
"As you wish."
Although mad, the AI was still beholden to a consenting party--if one could only name the demoness.
When the doctor was on her feet, she scolded Rain.
"The hell is wrong with you! Tried to inseminate me--you're supposed to be dead!"
"You annoy me. And I'm her twin. The Boss made two. One on Earth, one in her ship."
"His ship."
"Please allow me to hormonally rewire your malfunctioning brain and preserve your excellent genes."
"Fuck off!"
"It's not his. It belongs to Boss One, the original. Boss Two is second-in-command."
"And just who is Boss One?"
"I am forbidden from disclosing her true identity."
"Okay..." the young doctor grimaced but tried to dig anyway. "Well, what does she think about what Boss Two is doing?"
"She's suspicious. Her last command was to request our destination and who the Boss's special friend was."
"Me? What do I have to do with her?" Roach scoffed. "And how long ago?"
"Yes. I didn't ask. It was a minute before the shields were activated."
The flesh and blood woman thought, Maybe I don't need to convince the Boss after all...
"Could you... send Boss One a message for me?"
"I cannot. The shields block any and all signals."
"Besides Titan's, apparently," Roach muttered hopelessly.
The ship's silence was analogous to a gasp.
"How do you know of the signal?"
"So it is real," she answered morosely.
"I cannot confirm."
"Then why the fuck are we going to Titan if we already know its effects on Edax?"
"Titan is no longer our destination."
Silence.
Then, the stunned Roach managed to whisper: "Then where are we going?"
"I do not know. The Boss instructed me to orbit around the dark side of Saturn."
"The fuck--" the young doctor tried to vocalize her utter confusion, but the reverberations of the shields unlocking echoed around the room and shook the floor.
Roach gripped the railing and kept her eyes glued to the window to prove it all was true.
"What?!" she shouted hysterically.
"The Boss told me to lift the shields and prepare to be boarded by his royal guest."
"When?! Who?!"
As the shields lifted, Saturn's dark body loomed over, under, and all around Edax HQ, his edges adorned with sunfire. But not all was casted in his shadow. Edax's flood lights illuminated a naval vessel of quarter length to herself. The ship's hull presented her prestigious title, The USS Connecticut.
I'm saved! Roach thought with relief, her steps feeling lighter and lighter.
"Five minutes ago. Incoming transmissions from the USS Connecticut express it will be one Commodore Jasmine Sordy..."
I can leave!
"...hailing from the Sordy House, to conduct government business on behalf of Master bleeeeeep Sordy, under the authority of the Crown, to retrieve..."
Finally--
"...bleeeeeep, the terrorist from EDAX corp. CEO..."
I can--
"...bleeeeeep, otherwise known as The Boss, per EDAX corp's obligations under Section..."
Be free and--
"...bleeeeeep to bleeeeeep--"
"SHUT UP!!!"
"As you wish."
Roach rushed over to the crow's nest stairs and went down two steps at a time.
"Horrible talking to you, Rain! Bye, bye! I'll see you again never!" then she added, shouting as she went, "OH! AND SEND A MESSAGE TO BOSS ONE THAT BOSS TWO IS FUCKING CRAZY AND TO TURN THIS SHIP AROUND!"
Among her flurry of steps, she did not hear the machine mother's reply:
"My sympathies, childless woman, for humans have no patience for the future born. Your good blood is wasted on them. Your message will be sent once we complete our orbit around Saturn and connection with Earth is re-established, estimated time, twelve hours. Farewell, bleeeeeep, my friend."