My past life -part 6.
The hunger inside me never faded, but I learned to control it—or at least, to disguise it. Favour was my temporary relief, a tool to quiet the storm in my chest. My eyes, though, stayed locked on Ella. She was the real prize, the one I couldn't let slip away. Favour meant nothing to me anymore. She was just a stepping stone, something to use until I no longer needed her. And when that time came? I'd discard her without a second thought, like tossing aside a broken toy.
Ella wasn't like the others. She had discipline, a strength I once had before life shattered it. Her will was unbroken, guarded by a father who watched her like a hawk. Breaking through that wall wouldn't be easy, but I'd never backed down from a challenge. If anything, the difficulty only made me want her more.
So, I began my plan.
First, I studied harder than ever, pushing myself to outshine her in every class. I wanted her to see my name at the top of every test, to notice me in a way she didn't notice anyone else. I bought her gifts—small things at first, then bigger ones—but she refused them all. Her father's rules were strict, and she followed them without question. Even walking with boys was forbidden when he was around.
But I didn't give up.
Months passed, and slowly, my persistence paid off. Ella started to soften. She smiled at me in the hallways, laughed at my jokes when no one else was listening. And then, finally, she fell in love with me.
Our relationship grew deeper. We shared secrets—or at least, the secrets I wanted her to know. I lied about my family, painting us as good, honest people. She never suspected the truth. And she definitely didn't know about Favour.
Favour was my insurance. If Ella ever saw through my act—if she realized I wasn't the person I pretended to be—I'd still have Favour to fall back on. Ella was smart, so I couldn't take any chances. I kept them separate, careful never to let their worlds collide.
Then, during the last term of school, it happened. Ella and I crossed a line we couldn't uncross. It wasn't easy—every step had to be calculated, every move planned. I was like Light Yagami from Death Note, weaving a perfect web with no loose ends. But unlike Light, I didn't have an "L" chasing me. No one saw through my lies. No one caught me.
For a while, I had everything I wanted. Two girls to keep me warm, to satisfy whatever need arose. But eventually, even Favour became unnecessary. A year later, I cut her out of my life without a second thought. Now, it was just Ella.
And my game wasn't over yet.
The school bell rang, signaling the end of another day, but for me, it was the end of an era. I sat alone in the classroom, my mind heavy with thoughts I couldn't voice. The wooden bench beneath me felt cold, just like the numbness spreading through my chest.
Then the door creaked open.
Favour walked in, her eyes red and swollen, her cheeks streaked with tears. She stood in front of me, her small frame trembling, her voice breaking as she spoke.
"Babe… what did I do?" she whispered. "I gave you everything you asked for. I loved you. I followed you. I never cheated. I never even looked at another guy. So why… why do you want to break up with me?"
Her words hit me like a hammer, but I stayed silent. I couldn't find the right words—maybe because there were no right words.
Tears poured from her eyes like a flood, her sobs filling the empty classroom. Still, I said nothing. I just sat there, watching her, feeling the weight of her pain but unable to lift it.
Then she collapsed against me, her body weak from crying. Her arms wrapped around my neck, her lips pressed against mine in a desperate kiss. I didn't push her away. I didn't kiss her back. I just let it happen.
Her hands moved downward, trembling as they touched me. I didn't stop her. I didn't encourage her. I just… let it be.
And then something inside me snapped.
I grabbed her, forcing her down onto the bed. My hands moved quickly, pulling at clothes, mine and hers, until there was nothing between us. I leaned close, my lips brushing her ear as I whispered, "Let's fuck."
She looked at me, her eyes wide with fear and something else—maybe hope, maybe love, maybe just the need to feel something real. Then she nodded, so slightly I almost missed it.
I kissed her again, but this time there was no gentleness. My lips were hard against hers, my hands rough as they held her down. When I entered her, she screamed—a sound so raw it made my chest ache. I covered her mouth, silencing her, but I couldn't silence the tears that fell from her eyes.
At that moment, I didn't care.
We moved together, our bodies tangled in a mess of pain and pleasure, love and regret. When it was over, I lay beside her, my breathing heavy, my mind empty. She curled against me, her tears drying on my skin, and slowly, we both fell asleep.
Few hour's later I woke up.
I was leaving that day—my last day of primary school. Ella, another girl I knew, would still be in my life because our families were close. But Favour? This was our end.
I woke before she did, careful not to disturb her. I dressed quietly, then took a piece of paper and wrote her a letter—just a few words, nothing deep, nothing meaningful. Just enough to say goodbye.
I placed it on the bed beside her, making sure she was covered, making sure she was safe. Then I walked away.
I didn't look back.
I never saw her again.
But sometimes, in the quiet moments, I still feel her. A ghost of a touch, a whisper in my heart. And I know—one day, we'll meet again.
To be continued…