09. "Disaster"
Love turned into a recipe for disaster, there's so much fighting, this wasn't part of the plan. Insecurities and differences, now it's out of my hands, the call log is full of fights, something hasn't been right between us.
Speaking loud while I'm tryna speak, we won't find a solution, I should've known that we're a ticking time bomb, I'm so sick of the fighting, it wasn't part of the plan, we were supposed to love and have great sex, build and bond but now all we share is toxic energy.
Everytime I turn off my phone, I come back to accusations and interrogations, her misconceptions and the miscommunication has led her to thinking that I'm fucking somebody else, meanwhile I've been swamped for hours with work.
Arguing with me about the girl that isn't even a friend of mine, we've never touched or kissed but everytime she appears, I already know there's gonna be some bullshit later.
It's only a matter of time after I fuck with her emotions until she starts putting our business on her posts, letting everybody knows what's going on in our damn relationship.
The only time I find out how she really feels about me is when she's mad at me, she thinks that I've been messing with few girls on the side, so she starts talking to other niggas and I'm capable of really doing what she's been accusing me of but I don't wanna put her through the pain.
Love turned into a war, relationship turned into a battlefield, I'M sick and tired of the fighting because this war wasn't part of the plan.
10. "CAN'T FIGHT YOU AGAIN"
Can we not do this shit again? We did this yesterday, went to sleep in silence, I didn't even hear your voice this morning, I put my ego aside and say my apologies for my part but you still wanna go at it again as if we're enemies.
It's supposed to us against the problem, you promised me communication but you aren't showing it now. I told you four times that I admit that I shouldn't have said what I said, I thought you would've calmed down by now
but here you are bringing up more old shit, if you're intending on turning this into a war, you win 'cause I can't fight you again.
I plead guilty, can we resolve this already? I don't wanna spend another night without you, instead of fighting, speak your mind and make me understand your frustration but before you talk, keep in mind that I acknowledge my fault and I will never repeat it.
I don't mind giving you some time to calm down, as long as you'll come back when you've figured out your frustration and resolve this misunderstanding, if you came here ready for war, you've already won this fight, I can't fight you again.
11. "But I Don't Love Her"
You're right, I shouldn't have paid attention to her in the first place but it was one of those nights when I wasn't good with you and I needed some distraction, so I entertained her and that shit led to us linking up in my boy's room.
Yes I called her over, yes I met her halfway, yes I did it all without a gun on my head, yes I took off my clothes, kissed her and fucked her but I don't love her, it was all lust, I swear that shit didn't mean anything.
Yes I let her touch my body, yes I let her put it in her mouth, yes I came in her mouth too, but I don't love her, it was just lust.
I didn't feel alright after it, so I rushed back home and took a bath, I washed away her kisses and touches off my body, I opened my phone and there was your text, telling me you need me to call you whenever I find time. I felt bad about that shit, a few days later you told me about your suspicions due to my recent change of behaviour, I couldn't look at you and lie right to your face.
Now you don't wanna talk to me nor see me, I can't make any excuses nor justify, I can only learn from my bad decisions and be a better person, I'm sorry for letting you down.
WRITTEN BY THEODORE.