Jay stirred her coffee absentmindedly, watching the steam curl into the air. Keifer's voice still lingered in her mind.
Don't disappear, okay?
What did that even mean? She was here, wasn't she? Still showing up. Still doing what was expected.
Then why did she feel like she was slipping through the cracks of her own life?
Across from her, Ella drummed her fingers against the café table, frustration etched into every movement."I don't get it," Ella said, exhaling sharply. "One moment, Aries is all in -texting, showing up, making me feel like I matter. And the next? He pulls away like I'm some obligation he regrets signing up for."
Jay glanced at her, taking a slow sip of coffee. "Have you talked to him about it?"
Ella let out a short, humorless chuckle. "Talked? Jay, he doesn't even give me the chance. He just disappears. And when I finally call him out, he acts like I'm overreacting."
Something about her words gnawed at Jay. That feeling. That quiet tug of familiarity.
"That... sounds exhausting," Jay murmured.
"It is." Ella leaned forward, her frustration shifting into somethingmore vulnerable. "It's like he decides when I'm worth his time. And I hate it. I hate feeling like I have to shrink myself just to keep him around."
Jay felt her grip tighten around her cup. You shouldn't have to. The words formed in her mind before she could speak them aloud.
Ella studied her for a beat before shaking her head. "You know, it's funny."
Jay raised a brow. "What is?"
"This whole thing." Ella huffed. "I keep thinking Aries is just... difficult. That maybe I'm expecting too much." She exhaled, her voice quieter now. "But then I realized-I've seen this before."
Jay frowned. "Where?"
Ella gave her a pointed look.
"With you. And Yuri."
Jay stiffened. "That's not the same."
Ella tilted her head. "Isn't it?"
Jay forced a laugh, shaking her head. "Yuri doesn't disappear. He's always there. Always checking in."
"Yeah," Ella said, crossing her arms. "Making sure you always know what he expects from you."
Jay looked away. "That's not true."
Ella scoffed. "Come on, Jay. How many times has he made you second-guess yourself? Made you feel like you owe him something?"
Jay bit her lip. "He's just... opinionated."
"He's controlling," Ella corrected. "He acts like he's just giving advice, but it's always about what he thinks is bestfor you. And if you don't do it his way? He makes you feel like you're being difficult."
Jay wanted to argue. She really did.
But her mind wandered back-
To Yuri's frown when she chose an anthropology seminar over attending his event.
To the way he sighed whenever she disagreed with him, like she was making things harder than they had to be.
To the subtle weight in his words that made her feel like she had to explain herself for every choice she made.
Ella exhaled. "Aries ignores me to keep me chasing after him. Yuri keeps you so close you don't even realize you're losing yourself."
Jay swallowed hard.
"Tell me I'm wrong."
Jay wanted to. She wanted to tell Ella she was being dramatic. That Yuri just cared. That Aries and Yuri were completely different people.
But she couldn't.
Because deep down, she knew.
Ella's expression softened. "Jay... I know you, okay? You don't let people push you around. But with him? You let things slide. You change your decisions just to keep the peace."
Jay exhaled shakily. "It's not that simple."
"I know," Ella admitted. "But it doesn't mean it's okay."
Jay ran a hand through her hair,thoughts tangled.
Yuri didn't mean to be controlling.
He wasn't Aries. He didn't ignore her, didn't vanish without a word.
But then-
A memory surfaced, unbidden.
Flashback - Few Months Ago
Jay had just stepped out of the debate hall, her heart still racing from the argument she'd just presented. She spotted Yuri waiting outside, arms crossed.
"You spoke too fast."
Jay blinked. "What?"
"In the second round," Yuri said. "You rushed through your points. It made you sound nervous."
"I was nervous," Jay admitted.
Yuri shook his head. "You should've controlled it better. Confidence is about perception. If you look unsure, you are unsure."
Jay frowned. "I thought I did well."
He sighed. "You did. But you could've done better."
It was supposed to be constructive criticism. She knew that. But somehow, all she heard was: Not enough. Not yet.
A sharp gust of wind swept past her, stinging her cheeks. Jay nodded, swallowing down the discomfort. "I'll do better next time."
Yuri gave a small, approving nod before walking away.
Jay exhaled, watching his figure disappear into the distance.She should have felt motivated. Instead, she felt... small.
A Few Weeks Later
Keifer had found her sitting alone outside the library, forehead resting against her notebook.
"Wow, you look like you've been personally betrayed by the entire education system."
Jay groaned. "Don't start."
Keifer plopped down beside her. "What's the crisis?"
Jay exhaled. "The debate. I could've been sharper. I got stuck for a second, and-"
Keifer cut her off. "Did you win?"
Jay hesitated. "Yes, but-"
"Then why are you doing this?" He gestured at her frustrated expression.
Unlike Yuri's words, Keifer's weren't laced with expectations. No silent disapproval. No hidden should haves. Just a question.
"Because I should've been better."
Keifer snorted. "Perfectionist much?"
Jay scowled. "It's not about perfection."
"Sure, it is." He leaned back on his elbows. "You know what your problem is?"
"Oh, please enlighten me."
Keifer smirked. "You keep measuring yourself with someone else's ruler."
Jay fell silent.
He tapped the table. "You did well. End of story. Could you have done better? Sure. But that doesn't erase what you did do."
Jay frowned. "So I should just... be okay with my mistakes?"
"No." Keifer tilted his head. "But you should stop acting like they define you."
A sense of ease settled over her.
Ella reached across the table, giving Jay's hand a light squeeze.
"I just..." Jay exhaled. "I don't know how to-"
Silence settled between them, heavy but not suffocating.
Finally, Jay whispered, "So what do we
Ella gave a small, sad smile. "We stop pretending it's fine."