Minato stumbled through the front door just past midnight, reeking of beer and cheap izakaya smoke. Ayaka, half-curled under the futon, squeezed her eyes shut and slowed her breathing. She couldn't bear to face him—not tonight.
He muttered something incoherent, popped two hangover pills from the medicine shelf, and gulped down the lemon water she'd left in the fridge. The soft click of the cup being set down. The shuffle of tired feet. Then, silence.
She didn't move. Even after he lay beside her, even after his light snoring began.
She stared into the darkness.
Morning came like a slap.
At 5:30 AM sharp, the alarm buzzed. Ayaka rose as if on instinct, slipping into her robe and making her way to the bathroom. Her reflection in the mirror made her stomach twist—tired eyes, disheveled bangs, and something worse behind them.
Shame.
But there was no time to drown in it. She went through the motions: brushing, washing, folding up the futon, and heading to the kitchen. She boiled water, brewed coffee, cut vegetables, prepared miso soup, fried eggs. Everything had to be perfect.
At 7:20, the girls came down, dressed in their uniforms, phones in hand, giggling about the latest Mario Kart update and some new male idol.
"Morning, Mom," Hana said, sitting at the table.
Sakura yawned, plopping beside her. "Smells good."
Ayaka smiled faintly. "Eat well, okay?"
She served breakfast, poured coffee for herself and Minato, then headed to their room.
"Minato-san, time to wake up," she said gently, nudging his shoulder. He grunted but sat up, still looking slightly dazed from the night before.
He said little during breakfast, just read the Yomiuri Shimbun and sipped coffee in silence.
Ayaka handed out lunchboxes with her usual smile. "Here. Be careful on the way."
After spending an hour getting ready, Minato eventually left as well. And just like that… Ayaka was alone.
She washed the dishes slowly. Methodically. As if time would move slower that way. Her phone buzzed beside the sink.
Riku.
"Ayaka-chan. I miss you."
She turned the phone over, screen down, and walked away.
She tried to lose herself in housework but ended up wandering into the living room, where she picked up her half-finished novel, curled up on the couch, and stared at the pages without reading a word.
An hour passed like that.
Her phone buzzed again. She ignored it.
She needed air.
At 10:30, Ayaka stood in front of a small temple nestled between narrow Kawagoe alleys. The incense smoke swirled around her as she knelt and clasped her hands.
Please. Please make me stronger.I don't want to become this kind of woman.I don't want to lose myself.
She whispered the prayer with trembling lips. Her heart felt heavy, her chest tight.
She bowed twice, clapped, and bowed again.
Behind the temple, she wandered into the secluded path behind the shrine garden—her usual secret spot, where old wooden benches waited beneath moss-covered stone lanterns.
She sat down and exhaled. For a moment, there was peace.
Then her phone buzzed again.
Riku.
This time, not a message. A video.
She hesitated… but opened it.
It was a clip from one of the JAVs he liked. Her stomach dropped. The scene mirrored exactly what they'd done in the altar room. The slow kiss. The whispered words. The position…
Her thighs clenched involuntarily.
She stared at the screen, tears welling up in her eyes.
How could he send this?
But the worst part wasn't that he sent it.
The worst part was that she replayed it.
Again.
And again.
She slid her hand between her legs. Her skirt rode up slightly. The wind rustled the trees above as she touched herself, quietly, trembling.
Tears streamed down her cheeks.
"Why… am I like this…?"
Her voice was barely a whisper, cracked and broken.
When she finally stopped, she was breathless, ashamed, and hollow. She wiped her face with the sleeve of her cardigan, then pulled out her phone one more time.
Her fingers hovered.
A long pause.
Then she typed.
"Don't come here. I'll book the hotel. Just once more."
She stared at the message.
And then, she pressed send.