"Seems you and I are of one mind, Your Excellency," Cloud Retainer said with a faint, satisfied smile, clearly pleased to be in step with Zhongli.
"Let us set aside Jiang Yan's grandiose talk of cultivation for the moment, and speak instead of this 'Mount Shu'...
"We in Teyvat are born here, live here, and die here. We have never set foot beyond its borders. Without having walked the worlds beyond, how could we presume to judge whether Mount Shu truly exists?
"That is not Jiang Yan's failing—it is a limitation of our own vision.
"If there were someone who had once roamed many worlds, perhaps they could tell whether his words ring true. But as for these 'Great Luo' and such he speaks of… they sound far too… well, too ethereal, if you ask me."
It was only an idle sigh, but the remark gave Zhongli pause—and inspiration.
His gaze sharpened; he set down his teacup.
"Cloud Retainer, you've reminded me. We may be blind to the truth of the wider cosmos… but there is one person I know who certainly is not."
"Who?" Moon Carver and the others looked puzzled.
Zhongli did not answer right away. From his personal storage, he drew out a peculiar doll.
He let out a sigh. It was plain that he was not looking forward to contacting this person.
Had they seen his face beneath the hood just then, the others might have been startled—Zhongli, the unflappable Geo Archon, actually looked… conflicted.
But for Liyue's sake, he pressed the figure in his palm.
Beep-doo, beep-doo. This is the Alice Hotline. The beautiful and elegant Lady Alice is currently busy. If you're busy too, please hang up. Lady Alice will return your call in… three hundred years. Please be patient.
The adepti exchanged knowing looks.
Klee's mother, Elder of the Hexenzirkel—Alice herself.
A wanderer rooted at Teyvat's farthest edges, who had even visited other worlds more than once.
Zhongli had personally hosted her in Liyue long ago.
And afterward… no one knew exactly what had happened, but Zhongli had returned with a thundercloud over his face—and decreed that no one named "Alice" would be permitted to travel within Liyue's borders ever again.
Rumor had it…
She had once turned the kitchen pots at Wangshu Inn into explosives. That was, allegedly, why Xiao had been stationed there permanently thereafter.
There were other feats as well—like an "experimental hilichurl perpetual-motion machine" in a ruin that, accidentally, triggered a minor earthquake in Liyue.
But these were likely not the real reason for Zhongli's black mood.
The most dubious of dubious gossip claimed someone had seen an Alice-made bomb detonate point-blank in his face… shattering a few of his golden scales.
Beep-doo, beep-doo…
The recording repeated. Zhongli's face darkened further.
"Your Excellency," Cloud Retainer ventured, "if Miss Alice is not present, perhaps—"
Zhongli cut her off with a sigh.
"All right, enough games, Alice. This is the private line you gave me—only I can use it. I know you're listening."
The mechanical voice stuttered a beat, then continued:
Beep-doo, beep-doo. Incorrect password. Please state the hotline's name correctly.
Zhongli's expression blackened to pitch. A faint miasma of black qi rose from his back.
He knew it—every time he contacted Alice, his erosion worsened.
"I have urgent business!"
Beep-doo, beep-doo. Without the password, the call cannot be connected.
By now, everyone understood—this was Alice herself speaking.
The urge to scold her for such disrespect to the Archon was strong… but given Alice's fearsome reputation as the "Warlord of Teyvat's Borders" whom even Zhongli treated with courtesy, they wisely kept their tongues.
Zhongli took a deep breath, muttering under his breath.
Beep-doo, beep-doo. I can't hear you. If you don't say it nice and loud, the beautiful and elegant Lady Alice will not respond.
The black qi behind Zhongli thickened, roiling like a stormcloud—if it could take shape, it would rival the tribulation clouds Jiang Yan had summoned.
Grinding his teeth, Zhongli forced the words out:
"…The Big Golden Dragon and the Beautiful, Elegant Witch Hotline."
The adepti almost fell out of their seats. They looked at each other in disbelief, confirming that yes—Zhongli had indeed just said that.
The realization made them all acutely uneasy.
They had heard the Geo Archon speak such mortifying words. Who could say he wouldn't silence them to keep it quiet?
Ganyu glanced down at the scrap of paper on which she had just written the character gold. Without a word, she used her elemental power to incinerate it.
If this got out to the people of Liyue… would the Rock King Emperor's dignity survive the day?
Beep-doo! Password accepted. The beautiful, elegant Lady Alice is now online.
What business does the Big Golden Dragon have with Lady Alice? My time is precious, you know.
The teacup in Zhongli's hand shattered.
"Speak. Human. Words."
Hmph… Morax, you're still as boring as ever. Look at that grumpy Shogun next door—she doesn't even mind the nickname I gave her.
Didn't mind?
That was only because Ei knew she couldn't beat Alice, and couldn't stand the endless pestering if she tried. It wasn't worth the trouble.
If Alice had noticed, she might have realized why the Tenshukaku had been closed every time she visited Inazuma.
Zhongli swallowed the thought and said evenly:
"Enough catching up. I have a matter of great importance to ask you—critical to Liyue's future."
The doll's voice was silent for a moment before answering, a shade more serious.
"What is it? And let me say this first—if it's about a way to cure karmic debt, forget it. I'm not a miracle-worker."
Zhongli shook his head.
"No. The karmic debt is already resolved—and even my own erosion has reversed by a fifth."
"What?!" Alice's voice jumped an octave.
"Who was it?! Morax, you're too much! You went to someone else without telling me? Who? Unbelievable! If Xiao hadn't refused to try my potions, he might have been cured ages ago!"
Xiao shuddered and quietly edged farther away.
"What I want to speak to you about is precisely that," Zhongli said, ignoring her complaints.
"Alice—do you know what lies beyond Teyvat?"
"…"
This time, Alice was silent for longer, her voice dropping when she spoke again.
"Isn't it just the Dark Sea and other worlds? Why are you making such a fuss? You know that much yourself."
"No. You know what I mean. I'm not asking for those scraps of false lore."
Zhongli's voice was like stone.
"I'll ask you again: what truly lies beyond Teyvat?"
"…The False Sky?"
"Still speaking in riddles?" Zhongli's tone sharpened.
"Morax," Alice said gravely at last, "I don't know why you're asking me this—but I can tell you one thing: what lies beyond Teyvat is not something you should know.
"I'm telling you this for your own good.
"Pretend this conversation never happened. The borders have been restless lately—I'm busy. Don't contact me again unless it's urgent."
A pause.
"No—don't contact me even if it's urgent."
She was about to hang up.
The irony made Zhongli almost laugh.
Everywhere Alice went, others avoided her; now, something beyond the world had her ready to flee.
It seemed Jiang Yan's claims were all but confirmed.
Sensing her retreat, Zhongli spoke lightly:
"The Tree… and the Sea. Am I right?"
"What?!" Alice's voice shot up again. A beat later, she tried to mask it.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Is that so?" Zhongli chuckled softly.
"Alice, you've lost your composure. Let me spell it out for you—it's the Imaginary Tree and the Quantum Sea, isn't it?"
"…Morax! Shut your mouth!"
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