Alice cut the connection as abruptly as she'd started it, talking over herself until the very end.
Zhongli stared at the now-silent communicator in his hand, feeling a sudden darkness creep into his vision.
It was over.
The Great Demolition Witch was coming to Liyue—dragging her Miniature Demolition Witch of a daughter along to wreak havoc.
He thought back to Alice's illustrious history of "achievements," then to little Klee—still small in stature, yet already showing remarkable talent for creative explosions.
A cold premonition settled over him.
Last time Alice had nearly blown up Yaoguang Shoal… this time…
Would she level the Tianqiu Valley?
The more Zhongli thought, the more his mood soured.
Over six thousand years old, and he was still being tormented like this?
Was there no law left in this world?
After a long, heavy pause, Zhongli let out a deep sigh.
"Star of Tianquan, send men to guard the Stone Gate. If you see a blonde, flippant woman in a witch's hat traveling with a small, fire-red-haired girl, follow them closely. Do not—under any circumstances—let them out of sight.
"Furthermore, instruct the Millelith on watch: no matter what Alice offers, do not take it, do not touch it, and for the love of Rex Lapis—do not eat it.
"Avoid conversation where possible. Stay away from anything that might ignite or explode.
"Most importantly, do not let them near ruins or bodies of water.
"And issue a warning to every ruin, mountain, and waterway guard—prepare for explosions and fire.
"If you see a cute little doll whose style clearly doesn't belong to Liyue—leave it alone.
"Understood?"
Ningguang was momentarily stunned, but quickly nodded and began taking notes.
Keqing, however, looked puzzled and muttered,
"Isn't this a bit much? It's just a witch and her child. I've met Klee—sure, she's lively and likes to play with dangerous explosives, but it's only to blow up a few fish. Is this really necessary, my Lord?"
Zhongli turned his gaze on Keqing, silent for a moment before replying softly,
"Windrise in Mondstadt were not originally ruins. Alice blew them down.
"She once tried to force the hilichurls into a sweatshop to supply Mondstadt with energy—too inhumane, so she was stopped.
"She blew up Mondstadt's city gate right in front of the Knights of Favonius.
"She turned the cooking pots of Wangshu Inn into bombs and nearly destroyed Yaoguang Shoal.
"She once considered blasting the underground springs of Jueyun Karst to drain into the sea—so the mountains would be a little shorter.
"She crippled the wings of Kujou Sara, gave the Raiden Shogun the nickname 'Grumpy-Face General,' and nearly blew up Tenshukaku."
Each revelation made Ningguang and Keqing's faces grow more grave.
Zhongli took another breath.
"And her daughter, Klee, has inherited every bit of that explosive talent.
"At a very young age, she destroyed the Starsnatch Cliff by bombing them, permanently altering the terrain.
"She nearly set Whispering Woods ablaze, tried fishing in Cider Lake with explosives, and almost blew up Mondstadt's main bridge."
His golden eyes bored into Keqing's.
"Now, do you still think my precautions are excessive?"
Keqing lowered her head in silence for a long while. Then she looked up, face deadly serious:
"My Lord, I think we should have the adepti accompany them. I'm not sure the Millelith can handle this.
"And if possible… perhaps we shouldn't let Miss Alice and her daughter into Liyue Harbor at all.
Better yet—don't let them even cross Stone Gate."
By this point, even Ningguang was uneasy.
Two walking natural disasters who could reshape the landscape in minutes—and yet Alice casually claimed she could fight two top-tier Demon Gods at once.
Best not to provoke such people at all.
Zhongli only sighed and shook his head.
"Useless. Once that woman decides on something, she'll see it through.
"For all we know, she's already boarded some strange teleport contraption back to Mondstadt."
"All we can do is be vigilant. At the very least—no large, uncontrollable fires, and no terrain damage."
With that, the matter was settled. Ningguang and the others could only tighten defenses and brace for impact.
At the moment, the potential crisis posed by Alice and her daughter felt far greater than that of the gentleman.
At least the gentleman, after some contact, didn't seem like the type to act recklessly without cause.
Seeing there was nothing more to say, Zhongli decided not to linger—otherwise Hu Tao would start complaining he'd been gone all day without tending to his duties.
Rising to his feet, he said,
"This meeting is concluded. Until immortal cultivation is formally and widely introduced, I expect you all to keep this matter a secret.
"If there's nothing else, we'll adjourn. Tomorrow, I'll take you to meet The gentleman in person."
With no objections, Zhongli vanished in a streak of golden light.
The adepti also departed, each lost in thought about the path of cultivation.
Before long, only Ningguang, Keqing, and Ganyu remained in the Jade Chamber.
The other Qixing either were too old or had urgent matters elsewhere.
Ganyu, too, seemed ready to return to Jade Chamber when Ningguang called out,
"Secretary Ganyu—may we talk? About The gentleman and cultivation. There's still much we don't understand."
At the mention of the gentleman, Ganyu perked up immediately.
"Of course!"
Ningguang smiled faintly.
"You've been with The gentleman for over a hundred days. What sort of person do you think he is?"
Ganyu's eyes lit up with little stars.
"the gentleman is… a man who's especially gentle, especially kind, especially sincere—so talented, so capable!"
Ningguang and Keqing exchanged glances.
Something felt… off.
They'd wanted an objective personality assessment—what they got instead sounded suspiciously like an admirer's gush.
Was Ganyu… bewitched?
Watching her speak with such unrestrained enthusiasm, they felt a pang of resignation.
It didn't seem like they'd be getting any useful intel out of her today.
They thought about politely dismissing her, but seeing her launch into yet another anecdote—this time about a pleasant little chat with the gentleman a few days ago—Ningguang knew there'd be no escape.
Today, they'd simply have to endure Ganyu's starry-eyed rambling.
To read 30+ future chapters, head over to Patreon:
patreon.com/WhiteDevil7554