When I opened my eyes, I wasn't in my bed. Or my apartment. Or even on my planet.
Instead, I was lying under a tree in some backwater forest with the sun stabbing me in the face like it had a personal vendetta. My head throbbed, my limbs felt heavy, and there was an unsettling warmth rippling under my skin—like I'd been plugged into a cosmic battery.
Then I noticed my reflection in a puddle nearby.
Long black dreadlocks draped across my shoulders, glowing yellow eyes like molten gold, smooth brown skin kissed by the sun, and a faint, pulsing purple aura that clung to me like mist. Handsome didn't even begin to cover it.
Before I could even process my new look, a screen—yes, an actual floating RPG screen—blinked into existence in front of me.
[Welcome, Host.]
[You have been reincarnated in the "Naruto" universe.]
[Reason: Cosmic boredom. Yours and ours.]
I squinted. "…The hell is this? Is God running a gacha now?"
[Correction: Not God. Your personal NSFW System.]
"…NSFW? As in…?"
[Exactly what you're thinking.]
I blinked once. Twice. Then slowly grinned. "You're telling me my power-up comes from… doing naughty things?"
[Correct. Main characters and plot-important characters will generate significantly higher points. Your gender preference has been auto-set: Male only.]
"Good. Women are exhausting."
[Newbie Gift Pack received:]
Shifter Clone – Create a clone that can change species and appearance at will. Warning: long-term shifts become permanent.
Sharingan (Overclocked) – Genjutsu & hypnosis effects multiplied ×1000. Targets will never see reality the same way again.
I leaned back against the tree, smirking. "So… I get to mess with people's minds, seduce every important man in the story, and grind points like it's a dating sim?"
[Affirmative.]
"Well… guess I'm gonna need a nap first."
[Host's laziness detected.]
[First quest auto-generated.]
Quest: Make Physical Contact with One Main Character Within 24 Hours
Reward: 100 System Points + 1 Random NSFW Skill
Failure: System forcibly activates Shifter Clone in "Humiliating Mode."
I sighed dramatically, dragging myself to my feet. "Ugh. Fine. But he better be hot."
And with my purple aura flickering, I started walking toward the sound of distant voices in the forest… already plotting which unlucky soul in this ninja soap opera was about to meet me first.
———————————————————
The mist curled low over the unfinished bridge, cold and heavy. My purple aura pulsed faintly against the gray world, but nobody seemed to notice me.
That's because they couldn't.
Ahead, I saw them—Team 7, mid–Bridge Builder arc. Kakashi Hatake, casually leaning on crutches of cool arrogance. Naruto, glaring at the mist like it had personally insulted his mother. Sasuke, brooding with his arms crossed, looking like a walking black-and-white drama poster. Sakura, still utterly useless. And old Tazuna, reeking of sake.
Three perfect targets.
My Sharingan spun to life—three tomoe that instantly bled into something sharper, darker, far too intense for this world to be safe. Overclocked a thousandfold, the genjutsu spread through the air like a velvet net, and one blink was all it took.
Their pupils dilated. Their bodies froze mid-breath. The mist around them stilled, as if time itself feared getting in my way.
I strolled right into their midst, hands in my pockets, wearing my laziest smirk. "Wow… meeting the main cast this early? The system is really spoiling me."
I circled them slowly, brushing past Naruto just to watch him twitch under the invisible mental chains. Sasuke's expression didn't even change—he was locked too deep in my illusion to realize I had my fingers under his chin for a moment before letting him go.
But Kakashi… oh, Kakashi was the prize.
I stopped in front of him, tilting my head as I drank him in—silver hair messy in a way that could never be an accident, one dark eye fixed in that empty, glassy stare. Without asking—because when do I ever?—I hooked my fingers under the hem of his shirt and slid it up, baring a lean, scar-marked chest to the cool air.
I trailed my palm over his pectorals, deliberately squeezing, feeling the way his skin warmed under my touch even in the genjutsu haze. "Hmm… better than expected. You work out for the mission or for the mirror, Kakashi?"
His lips didn't move, but his heartbeat told me everything.
That's when I layered it in—the real trick. My voice slipped low, smooth, curling straight into the softest corners of his mind. "You're going to want me, Kakashi. Not like a fleeting crush. Not like a passing obsession. You're going to fall so deep it'll hurt to breathe without me."
The hypnotic suggestion wrapped around his subconscious like a silk noose, tightening just enough to stay permanent.
I patted his chest once, squeezing his chest like sealing a deal. "There. Now when we meet again, you'll come to me willingly. And when you do… I'll collect."
Stepping back, I let the genjutsu dissolve as I disappeared in the mist.