Well, that's the end of this story. To be honest, it was originally conceived as a prologue to Loki getting into Marvel 11 or at least into one of the universes of the animated series of the nineties, those that are "Fantastic Four", "Iron Man", "X-Men", "The Incredible Hulk" and "Spider-Man". By the way, if someone doesn't know, then these are different universes, for example, in the Fantastic Four series, it is not the original red and blue Spiderman from the nineties series who lives, but one of his parallel versions, who wears a blue vest and whom the original Parker meets only in the last season of his series, when he travels between parallel worlds. And with the other series, the same situation - the history of the characters differs from world to world, to the point that in one of these series, Bruce Banner continues active and official scientific work even after becoming the Hulk. But I digress.
In general, according to the original idea, adventures in the Marvel Cinematic Universe were conceived as something temporary and short-lived, after which the hero would safely leave for much more colorful places. However, time passed, the story developed, and Loki's life was filled with connections that reconciled him with the imperfection of the surrounding reality. Moreover, as a rule, this happened against our will. So, for example, initially the relationship with Storm was not supposed, we saw the relationship with Yuriko as much more likely, but the logic of the development of events and the characters' personalities decided everything in its own way. By the way, Laura turned out to be especially willful. According to the idea, she was given a couple of scenes and the role of a minor character for a single glimpse in the frame, and then she approached Loki during a stop, and he made her cocoa ... Then we no longer controlled the situation.
And now there's a megabyte of text behind us, and we discover that there's simply no need to dump Loki anywhere. The problems he initially wanted to run away from are already being solved by him in the normal course of business. That share of madness, bias, distortion and free handling of facts regarding the beauty of local women, which we attributed to him at the very beginning, is also satisfied, even though his criteria of beauty are not so much the criteria of objective beauty as the correspondence of actresses to the original image of characters from cartoons, that is, the ideal world of the original . Well, in character, despite all our efforts to show his mental deformation of an old fan, he turned out to be not such a dog as to give up everything for the sake of the appetizing forms of drawn beauties.
Thus, it turned out that in order to follow the original plan of sending the hero to other worlds, quite a lot of authorial assumptions became necessary, starting with Odin, who had overfed the beast, who, upon waking up, would break everything that Loki had built in order to sever his emotional ties with Asgard, and ending with parting with Storm, because Storm herself would not go anywhere, this contradicts her entire essence. In short, it was necessary to suddenly include "What a twist" with "surreal realism", "Ichiga has been betrayed!" and other plot twists worthy of the most exemplary shit-eaters and morons of our fan fiction. As you can easily guess, this prospect does not appeal to us.
What about the continuation in the Marvel Cinematic Universe itself? The same thing. With films based on this universe, it's like the saying goes: "the deeper into the forest, the fatter the partisans" - the idiocy of what's happening grows exponentially, and the connection with the previous films in the series, on the contrary, breaks over the knee, which makes the development of a normal, progressive narrative simply unrealistic. The facts and laws of the world previously declared as the basis for everything that's happening are cancelled, new ones exist for exactly one film, or even less, having time to be forgotten and rewritten by the scriptwriters three times per film, entire plot arcs are based on someone behaving like an idiot, others exist only to humiliate someone (usually, by the way, Loki), and that's not even taking into account the films that were shot not for the sake of history at all, but in order to suck up to blacks or strong independent women. Writing a sequel based on this would be like digging through the contents of a public toilet for a couple of pennies that fell in there.
Since there is neither sense in this nor respect for the world of those tube, old things that served as the basis for the popularity of the Marvel universes in the first place, we, as you have probably already guessed, will not engage in such obscenity and will leave an "open ending", the development of events in which everyone can choose to taste. Although, since someone has read up to this point and is familiar with our work, we could not help but indicate some things in the "scene after the credits", and therefore ... see for yourself.
Post-credits scenes:
In a universe far, far away.
Gwen closed her laptop and prepared to go to the bathroom - it was time to go to bed, because tomorrow was the day of exams for Columbia University. Not that she was afraid of them - given her grades, some connections in the department and... the fact that she managed to get and solve the exam questions a week before the deadline, there shouldn't be any problems, but she still needed to get some sleep before such an event.
How did she get the tickets? Well, she just happened to find out where they were, and to get to the top floor of the main building... well, she should have some advantages and preferences for her hard work on the basis of heroism? After all, Spider-Man from the world she recently visited made a whole franchise out of his name! And she also suspected the bad influence of a certain psycho in her actions...
Whump! - suddenly a suspiciously familiar looking bubble of black light appeared on the table in front of her, which quickly grew to the size of a book and... burst?
Yes, it just burst. It didn't expand into a whole portal, it didn't create a bunch of smaller bubbles, it didn't fill everything with otherworldly energies, it just burst... Leaving in its place a very strange in color and texture silver cube with some Nordic patterns and... it seems like a couple of buttons, with symbols like on a player, that is, "on", "off", "pause", "rewind", "record"...
And that cube went "whoosh" again. I mean, it wasn't a pop from the sudden displacement of air or anything. The metal itself "goes" "whoosh."
The girl began to be tormented by vague, but very serious and bad suspicions. The very fact that some thing was teleporting to her did not threaten anything good - this thing could be hunted, some powerful demon, or artifact, or genie, or some other horror could be locked in it, which you would not immediately think of, but which would definitely require time to solve a ton of problems associated with it. And she had exams! No matter how formal they were, no-show was unacceptable.
- Couldn't you wait a week, huh? Well, I don't have time for you now! - with a hot, but already obviously futile hope, she turned to the cube, not even thinking of touching it or, especially, opening it.
The cube didn't need her touch, though. It blinked a familiar golden-green glow across its entire surface, after which a voice echoed throughout the room:
- So, if you are listening to this message, then everything went as planned and I was able to set up the installation to the required coordinates! If the interuniversal transition did not break the internal settings, then the message should be heard by one charming blue-eyed blonde with amazing legs, a wonderful character, an excellent sense of humor and an incomparable smile that will make the heart of any real man beat faster. If you are not her - go where you were going and do not eavesdrop!
- Loki?
- Hello, Gwen! - the cube immediately blinked again with a shimmer of light. - As you can see, I have established communication... almost. So far, I have not been able to build a stable two-way channel, but I am working on it. Right now, only the function of sending one packet is possible, consider it a letter, it is only possible to send a voice. Yes, I brought audio messages to the interuniversal level, because this is what the God of Magic does instead of working! I am the King! I see it! No matter what Thor says... In general, the plans include creating an interuniversal villain chat and even opening a bar! Do you think that if I invite Emperor Palpatine to work as a bartender instead of falling into the shaft of the Death Star, will he agree?
"Um…" her familiar God was still just as eccentric.
- For some reason, it seems to me that you are thinking something bad about me right now... Oh well! In general, there is a connection, albeit a so-so one for now. If you want to pass on a message to Penny, Noir-Peter, Svintus or even our favorite nephew of the new crime king of New York, then welcome - dictate the messages directly into the box, it will deteriorate according to the next binding and deliver everything.
- Yeah, and when he leaves Miles, he'll leave behind crack.
- And when he leaves Miles, he will leave behind high-quality cocaine, after all, he is now related to a tough mafioso and should no longer distribute the crack that you probably thought about - after all, he is not some kind of punk, but a respected don.
- Phi... - Gwen couldn't help but smile. Loki was still the same slob, but whatever you say, the God of Deception and Evil Jokes had no shortage of charisma.
– Okay, I'll take my leave now – it would be very stupid to write a long text with stories about how I'm here and questions about how you are there if the experiment doesn't work out and there's no feedback. When the cube returns with your message – I'll do my best, I might even be able to send you some photos. I sincerely hope that you're okay and that I didn't make a mistake with the time coordinates so that the message would get to your world when you're already ninety. Don't be bored, I kiss you on the nose! Postscript: I hate my universe – cloning you doesn't work at all, so we're left with two and a half beautiful girls for the entire universe. I'm sad. And only a letter from a sweet and kind beauty can cheer me up, so I'm waiting! Post-postscript: the operating instructions for the Loki Metaverse Cube can be listened to by pressing the button with the question mark, but no more often than once every three minutes. Because I don't want Miles trying to play rap DJ with my voice!
- Smart guy... - the policeman's daughter snorted and... started poking the button with the question. And then - dictating the response messages. She really wanted to know how her friends were doing, and she could probably tell them about her adventures.
And again Loki.
I sat solemnly on the Throne of Asgard and looked at Malekith, who had been forced to his knees by two Einherjar, thoughtfully massaging my chin. My thoughts were dark and full of doubts.
Since I was mentally prepared for the Reality Stone to appear somewhere on the British Isles, these islands were put under surveillance, and I did not hesitate to ask the Eldest with her gift of foresight and Charles with his Cerebro for help in this important matter. As a result, the anomaly was detected almost immediately after it appeared, and then I visited there personally, and... although everything did not go exactly according to plan, but with the joint efforts of us (that is, me, the Eldest and Eitri - the king of Nidavellir, to whom I also did not bend over backwards to bow in advance for such a matter) managed to figure out how to pull this crap out of a living carrier and stuff it into another adamantium cube. And although we prepared in advance, gathered quickly, and brainstormed without being distracted, I still had to walk around Asgard for a couple of days with a liquid stone inside. And, actually, here is the result - he is kneeling in front of me and his eyes are flashing angrily.
To be honest, I have no idea how his ships managed to overcome Asgard's defense systems in that same film, even taking into account the sabotage, but after the large-scale modernization that I carried out, they shot down the dark elf squadron on the approach, and then Heimdall and a regiment of select warriors, including Thor's friends, boarded it. At that time, I was heroically lying on the operating table, forcing myself not to think about the fact that a three-meter-tall, bearded copy of Tyrion Lannister was leaning over me, clutching sinister-looking instruments in her hands, often very reminiscent of a certain flugegeheimen, so Thor was in charge of Asgard's defense. And it should be noted that he coped with his task better than me. No, I coped too, but a treacherous thought from the series "Fuck it!" gnawed at me in the process with such force that I myself do not know how I did not succumb to the temptation to give up everything and let the Aether live inside me. Moreover, his strength also hammered at his brain and convinced him that when such power comes into his hands, only a complete moron would be stubborn and refuse it.
One way or another, I overcame the temptation and even managed to seal the newly-minted Reality Cube on one backwater planet in a pocket of a separate reality, created by its own power and without any doors or locks on the outside, that is, I repeated my great-grandfather's experience. After all, it worked for ten thousand years, so why change anything? It works!
And here's another headache... What to do with Malekith and his race? Well, those who survived the boarding and are now on their knees?
The easiest option was to slaughter them. After all, the guy wants to destroy the universe or at least the galaxy, or rather, to change the laws of reality in such a way that the dark elves would be happy, but for everyone else - as it turns out, but without leniency. The guy is stubborn, ideological and clearly inadequate, because in the process of implementing his "brilliant plan" he is ready to slaughter his entire species. That is, yes - for the prosperity of the dark elves, you can kill all the dark elves, because this is something that is logically connected and somehow follows one from another ... I honestly tried to understand this and somehow comprehend it, but ... "I could not", and the proud king of the elves refused to explain the chain of his reasoning.
And here he is, kneeling before me and selflessly generating Pathos, Unbreakableness and stereotypical Elven Arrogance, and he generates it in cubic kilometers, managing to "press at the moment" on the shoulders of literally all the spectators gathered. And the throne room of Asgard is actually large, and for such a matter as the defeat of an ancient enemy that tried to attack Asgard, there was simply some shameless number of spectators. Several thousand Aesir and Vanir alone were packed in, and also Eitri with her advisers and guards, the Eldest with several Masters of Kamar-Taj, including Kaecilius, and even a couple of ice giants, who, for better or worse, somehow, but after a joint war against Thanos, made peace with Asgard.
And I wouldn't mind finishing off Malekith, but I don't like genociding the rest of the dark elves along with him! Yes, they are also assholes and idiots, but you can't just go and genocide the elves! How am I going to reread The Lord of the Rings? Or play Warcraft as a blood elf? And I've almost made an interuniversal pirate server where Gwen, Penny and I can fight in the same guild! I've been agitating them so much to join the Horde, and now what, should I step over myself and become like some Garithos?!
I understood that these were absolutely idiotic arguments in terms of defining galactic policy and such historical events as whether a biological species lives or dies, but to a certain extent these reasons could be summed up under the general words about humanism, a child's tear, the protection of endangered species and all this crap that is encouraged and respected by everyone. In short, I am a progressive monarch, period! And how I came to this conclusion is none of your damn business, that's it!
In general, something had to be done with Malekith's elves. And everything would be fine - I had ideas on how to properly raise the next generation - there was nothing particularly ingenious to come up with, but... But then a second problem arose...
All of Malekith's soldiers were boys...
And just like that...
And so, I'm sitting on top, looking at them and feeling that the Marvel Cinematic Universe has… how can I put it more gently… screwed me.
Because any decision I make on this issue will be my shame. One way or another.
"I know how I will punish you for trying to destroy the universe, Malekith," I break the silence, looking into the eyes of the dark elf.
"You can't scare me, boy, and nothing you do will humiliate me," he answered proudly, continuing to generate Pathos.
- Wonderful! - I put on the most welcoming and kind smile I could. - Because I will give you to the ice giantesses, - I allow myself to pause briefly, enjoying the glimmer of understanding of what I said, emerging in his eyes. - You see, - I change my position to a more comfortable one, - the people of Jotunheim have recently lost many warriors, and, as I have heard, many worthy ladies are very saddened by this circumstance, especially among the... - and now I chew my lips, as if choosing the best definition, - the most monumental warriors, - I "found" the right words. - Unhappy women are so sad without strong male participation, - I sympathetically shake my head, additionally playing with intonations, - after all, mortal men cannot stand their... temperament at all, but I am sure that such strong in spirit and body warriors - a respectful bow towards the captives - will cope with this heavy burden. In a word, a harsh fate is in your hands, Malekith, but this is your destiny!
The slam of Gungnir's heel on the floor completed the sentencing, echoing throughout Asgard like a thin ringing of magic. And even though the throne room fell into a deafening silence, I was proud of myself and knew that the Marvel Cinematic Universe could not help but accept such a decision! After all, I was giving the most white cisgender men who were truly bad boys and plot villains to the militant and completely crazy feminists of color, whom even their own kind were afraid to look at, which meant that these men had absolutely no chance of salvation!
- A-A-A!!! AHA-HA-HA-HA!!! - Volstagg was the first to burst into heart-rending laughter, clutching his stomach and almost falling to the floor.
- How dare you? - my vis-à-vis exploded immediately, turning pink from the rush of blood to his milky-white face. - I am Malekith! Lord of Svartalfheim! King of the World of Darkness! The damned Reaper of the trolls!..
"And a future bed slave of some curvy ice giantess," I added, inserting a remark into the pause when he was inhaling for a new scream. "And I'm very glad that this doesn't humiliate you, I'm literally amazed by your endurance."
And then Volstagg's laughter was supported by everyone, from Fandrel and Ogun to the female members of the aces present, not to mention the Jotuns themselves...
A couple of hours later.
Having dragged Thor's lifeless and frankly smelly body to his rooms, I tried to stop repeating the same thought in my head, but it was all in vain...
- Did you have to get that drunk?! - a cry from the heart burst out of my throat against my will, when the completely drunk ace was thrown onto the sofa, because I was not ready to drag him to bed, I had already fulfilled my brotherly duty with him for three lifetimes ahead!
Alas, even my angry thesis managed to make Thor only snore softly and smack his lips, without the slightest hint of remorse. What a bastard he is! He knows that in his current state he not only can't drink strong Asgardian ales, but also that it's undesirable to drink ordinary ones, but no! Fun, revelry, action - pour the son of Odin the strongest wine that Asgard has!
Blonde bastard!
I was only away for a minute, naturally - I have diplomacy, guests from other worlds, violent captives - I have no time to watch my older brother-uncle's relapse into stupidity. And he knows it! He did it on purpose! And he even made his friends promise that no ace or van lower than the Tsar would carry him away from the table while the glorious feast lasts.
How could he not lock all the doors to the chambers from the outside after that, having first made sure that there was not a drop of water in said chambers for the morning dryness? And I, taking all the jugs, including the ones he had clearly saved for the morning, thought that there was simply no other way! After all, we have the Marvel Universe here, where Thor is scripted to suffer from Loki's insidious atrocities, so let him suffer. Canon! Anything for the sake of canon! Old school rules!
A strange feeling brought me out of my dark plans for quick revenge. With my recently expanded sense of the world, I clearly felt that Thor was in his chambers, from which I had just left, but at the same time he was quite cheerfully wandering a couple of floors below, clearly stomping towards the descent to the treasury... And this second Thor was... not at all deprived of his powers, I would even say the opposite - he had pumped up his energy well.
A circular motion with Gungnir, which for some time now has fully mastered the functionality of the "Double Rings" of Kamar-Taj, and here I am moving through the portal to the uninvited guest.
"Oh-oh... my mother, my asinya..." was all I could say, looking at the couple in front of me.
Thor was indeed there. Fat Thor. Very fat and overgrown Thor. Shaggy, unkempt. With some kind of rag on his face that had been severely damaged by animal abusers. And his belly... Oh, what a belly he had! Something resembling armor tried to hide it, but... but it was the eighth month, maybe even the ninth... Against this background, the presence of an upright raccoon in a high-tech suit next to him was completely lost.
- L-Loki?! - meanwhile, my truly creepy older brother jumped up in place. - What are you doing here?
- I... - his belly and beard had some kind of irresistible hypnotic effect - it was physically impossible to tear your eyes away from them, - I rule here, actually, - I move Gungnir slightly in my hand, drawing attention to it. - More precisely, I try to shift these responsibilities onto you, but... to Surtur for the details! What have you done to yourself?! I mean... how?! - my hand automatically circled his prominent "beer callus".
- I... what?
- Yes! What did you eat and drink to get so wasted?! - No, I remembered that this kind of crap was in the movies, but seeing it in real life, I couldn't overcome the feeling of shock. - You've been gorging yourself at feasts for a thousand years to the point of complete insanity, sometimes not getting up from the table for a couple of months in a row, and never a single drop of excess fat! How could you... this! - I couldn't resist pointing at his belly again. This belly was truly oppressive and broke the psyche worse than all the Infinity Stones at once.
"Uh… well, I think I'll go," the raccoon waved his paw and clearly intended to run away.
"You won't go," said my illusion, blocking the retreat route.
"Loki, I…" Thor began, glancing at my phantom.
- Please answer the question. First answer the question, - I interrupted him.
"I ate American fast food," the bearded blond admitted, blinking. "Fried chicken, hamburgers, those brown fizzy drinks, French fries…"
"Don't go for the French fries!" I raised my finger warningly. "French fries are the best thing in America!.. Except for my fiancée," I quickly correct myself, but nevertheless consciously sending Stark and everyone else down a position. And Laura and Yuriko don't count, they're in Kamar-Taj now.
"You have a bride?!" Thor stared at me, no worse than I had done a minute earlier.
- Yes, the issue has already been resolved... - having examined the guest once more, I tiredly massaged my eyes and waved my hand. - Okay, judging by your appearance, you came from another reality, with another time fork. And knowing you, I seriously doubt that you did this out of research interests and for the sake of a joke. So, actually, the question is... what happened there and what do we have to do with it?
- Another reality? What makes you think that? We are from another time...
- Time travel is possible, yes, - I agree, since I have been working on the topic myself. - But it has a very complex and subtle mechanism, the slightest error - and instead of the past you end up in an alternative reality. Or, even if you have traveled to the past and made some very significant changes, you create an alternative reality without canceling the past, - I fell silent, assessing the reaction, and, funny enough, the sprouts of understanding on the raccoon's face appeared earlier than on the Asgardian god. - It's like with saves in computer games - if you load an old save and start playing the game differently, more recent saves will not be canceled and can be continued, - I simplify the explanation especially for the blondes.
"How do you know all this?" the raccoon asked.
- You're talking to the God of Magic, I just know such things, it's called education. Besides, I just recently built a machine for the transition between universes. Hmm... by the way, - once again forcing myself to tear my gaze away from Thor's belly and beard, I run my gaze and other senses over my interlocutors, - and he doesn't try to wipe you into subatomic dust... I wonder why?
- Pym particle suits, - he explained... I think his name is Rocket. - But you seem to be right, we took a wrong turn somewhere. Our Loki was an asshole and definitely didn't build such a machine...
"Rocket, this is my brother!" Thor said indignantly.
- Who tried to kill you several times...
- That's in the past... and he's dead. Ouch! - Thor looked at me with fear.
"Well, well," I sighed. "Okay, let's go to my office and tell me what happened there."
A little later. Loki's chambers.
- ... and then he clicked and...
"Divided all living things in the galaxy in half," I finished for the otherworldly guests. "I sympathize."
"And how was it for you?" the raccoon asked.
- Well... as far as I can tell, the differences began shortly before your coronation, - I nod to Thor. - Then I completely accidentally found out that I am Laufey's son, and in order to somehow get used to it, get my thoughts in order and at the same time not to do something stupid that would ruin your holiday, I decided to take a walk, and the path of shadows brought me to Midgard...
Some time later.
– … it was so unexpected that without thinking I stuck Gungnir into his eye, after which I released the maximum charge of magical plasma. What exactly happened, I fully understood only about ten seconds later, when everything around somehow became suspiciously quiet, and the corpse on the ground did not take on the outline of anything else.
- A... what? Are you serious right now? So that's it? - the raccoon's eyes widened.
- I didn't believe it myself, - I shrug. - For another six months after that I was running around the galaxy like crazy, trying to find either some clone or the original Thanos, who was hiding in some secret base. I really got the hang of poor Heimdall, but nothing. I'm still in shock, - I take a sip of wine from the goblet.
- So, now it's completely impossible to get the stones, and you didn't leave yourself any loopholes? - Rocket continued to inquire.
- Why should I leave loopholes if I consider these things so dangerous that I want to stay as far away from them as possible?
- Well, you never know? You're Loki, the God of Deception, and you're always up to all sorts of strange intrigues.
- Oh, that wonderful youth, when I didn't have to solve the problems of the universe, where did it go? - I drawled with longing and at the same time a bit of dreamy nostalgia, resting my cheek on my fist. - But no, - I return to a serious tone, - I'm serious - these bastards are really dangerous. They like to have fun at the expense of mortals and immortals, and they have never brought happiness to anyone in the entire history. It was not for nothing that Bor hid the Ether, and Odin - the Tesseract and the Time Stone. No matter how mentally prepared and collected I was for a trick, the Mind Stone almost screwed me over, and how!
"What do you mean?" Thor blinked in surprise.
– To begin with, he made me simply forget about himself, directing all my attention to searching for Thanos and finishing off his troops, and then he gave me a "brilliant" – I make quotation marks in the air with my fingers, because I had already picked up a lot on Earth – idea to forever protect the Stones from the encroachments of all sorts of Thanoses by granting the Stones independence. And since the idea really did resemble my own crazy plans, I almost implemented it... I almost created Galactus! Because it really is an original and intriguing idea – to collect all the stones not in one artifact, but in a fully functional body. An autonomous body! Which will withstand their power, will be able to gain self-awareness, combining their personalities and desires into one entity, and will be absolutely free from the threat that some psycho will be able to seize its power. I have literally already finished creating the body of a fifty-meter semi-organic robot from adamantium, Uru metal and neutronium! All I had to do was use the Mind Stone to hack my own isolators for the rest of the Stones over the next two hundred years and install them in the cyberbrain of a prepared body.
"I have two questions," the raccoon raised his paw. "Who is Galactus and what stopped you?"
- Galactus is a colossally powerful entity present in the vast majority of realities parallel to ours. He looks like a huge guy in purple armor, and is the source of all Cosmic Power, which in our reality is operated by the Infinity Stones. And everything would be fine, he is actually quite a cultured and polite guy, not alien to art and beauty, but... he uses inhabited planets as food. He simply eats them, sucking out all the energy and life from them. And he experiences hunger if he does not eat for a long time. Therefore, he is an invincible element that travels through space and destroys civilizations that get in his way.
- A-a...
"I didn't do it because my Chief Advisor asked me why I was doing it, and while I was explaining my motives and the genius of the plan, he continued to silently look at me, eventually forcing me to think and realize that I was doing something crazy," I admitted mercilessly to myself. "In the end, I freaked out and made the stone calculate the exact value of the number "Pi."
- Um... what's the point? - Thor blinked.
- The thing is, my dear kitten rider, - seeing how sad the Thunderer's face became, a satisfied smile jumped out at me, - that the number Pi in full, in fact, cannot be written down, since it is an irrational number, infinite after the decimal point. And while the Mind Stone is trying to imagine it in order to calculate it, all of its computing resources are occupied with this very action and it cannot be distracted, even to begin interacting with anyone else.
"You… took out the Mind Stone's brains?" the raccoon's voice was filled with sacred awe.
- Well... in general, yes, - I shrug, - I like it, I can do it, I practice it. As I said, I freaked out a little when I realized that I was almost screwed. No, there was also the idea of giving the stone to Fury - the most brainless creature in this galaxy can become a good guardian for the Mind Stone, but... this is Fury. He will either lose it, or the Stone will be stolen from him on the third day.
- And Ether? What about it?
- To be honest, when it came out, I was too lazy to come up with something, so I repeated Grandpa Bor's experiment and, having poured it into an adamantium cube enchanted to contain and counteract all methods of remote extraction, I shoved it back into a pocket of another reality created by the power of the Ether itself, so to speak, until we meet in the next ten thousand years. So I only left the Power Stone and the Soul Stone untouched and, frankly speaking, I don't really want to change anything at this point.
- So what happens? - Thor slumped. - Was it all for nothing? Did we miss our chance to get the Stones and fix everything?
- Well, let's say it's possible to get the Stones specifically for your universe, - I shook my head. - To do this, you just need to jump into another universe where they are, and take them. It'll take about two days.
"Really?" the bearded man blinked his eyes at the same time as the raccoon.
- Yes, I have already worked on my installation to target the boundary conditions, so we can jump right to the places of former glory. By the way... - I was suddenly struck by an idea, from which Gungnir immediately became wildly excited, - we can even see Grandfather when he stormed Svartalfheim, and my Gungnir will show his Gungnir who is more brilliant here!
- What? - Rocket didn't understand.
- Oh, don't pay attention! - I waved my hand, getting up from the table. - The peculiarity of semi-intelligent artifacts - Gungnir is obsessed with the fact that it must be Magnificent with a capital "G" and sparkle like no one else, because it is the Regalia of the King and all that. Nothing pleases it more than demonstrating its chic, so it will only be happy to show off in front of itself from another world. Okay, let's go, - turning to the exit of the room, I call the guests to follow me, - I should turn around before evening comes to Midgard, otherwise I have things to do.
"A date with a girl?" the raccoon asked in a businesslike tone, jumping off the chair.
- No. Reading a book to a child... Don't ask! - I waved it off again, quickening my pace.
***
The battle was approaching its climax. Avalanches of warriors collided with each other in the chaos of mutual slaughter, wave after wave covered each other, and the confrontation froze in a fragile balance. So it seemed and so it was desired, but in reality…
- Malekith, the Asgardians are pressing us on all fronts. Their raiding parties are constantly appearing in our rear. I fear that a little more and it will all be over.
" I need more time. Buy it for me. At any cost ," the pale, frankly sickly-looking man replied. This campaign had been hard on him. They were unprepared, but who could have known that the Aesir would learn of their plan and strike first?
" It will be done ," his interlocutor bowed his head and gave the command to his guard, the best of the best warriors of the ancient empire. The guards clutched the battle crystals in their hands. The weapons were incredibly rare, difficult to make and use, but capable of granting the user the strength of a dozen dark elves and almost complete invulnerability. And there were dozens, hundreds of such strengthened warriors - Malekith's people opened all their weapon reserves and generously spent them on uninvited guests. In addition, the elves' heavenly ships rushed to the land where the greatest battle of these times was burning. Although they had long since run out of shells, and their energy weapons had failed, unable to withstand the rate of fire, they were still capable of rendering a last service and burying part of the enemy troops under themselves. And now the right hour has come. The doors of the dimensions are almost lined up in a row, which will not only strengthen the Ether, but also give the opportunity to take control of it. The Dark Elf Lord gave the command, and the armored doors that protected the power of the most destructive weapon in the universe rose to reveal... emptiness.
- What?
"Sorry, man, but we need it more," the upright intelligent raccoon addressed the dark elf.
" Who… kha… " He didn't have time to finish his thought. The magical spear entered the back of his head, and the magical plasma that enveloped the blade turned his head into dust.
- Brother, it was dishonorable!
- It's called a "military ruse", Thor. The very thing that can help you avoid a lot of problems.
"And still somehow..." the fat man continued to insist.
- Listen, you told me yourself that he killed my mother! For that, I should have impaled him and broken him on the wheel to boot! - the loving "mama's boy" in me was righteously indignant. - And anyway, well, you could have challenged him to a "fair fight", well, you could have detained him until Bor arrived, and he would have ordered him to be slaughtered anyway. Simply because no one would let a guy like Malekith go wandering around the Galaxy any longer.
"Loki…" Odin's son shook his head.
- No, well, he's right, - the raccoon supported me. - And in general, knocking and looting is right.
- Oh, I definitely like you, buddy. I'll have to look for you in my universe, I think we'll get along, well now... I suppose we should explain ourselves, - our nice get-together was interrupted by a flash of the Rainbow Bridge, from which a powerful armored man emerged, surrounded by his guard. The man was, as already reported, powerful, stern, slightly red-haired, and he also had a golden spear, that is, the same Gungnir.
Clink, - the symbol of the Kings of Asgard trembled in my hand, sending a "welcome wave to itself" in the hands of Bor, and this comrade could not be anyone else. Oh yes, there was also a postulate about the current owner's own coolness and authority.
Tsveng, - came the reply packet. "Young" Gungnir, on the one hand, was pleased and proud of how cool he would be and that with such an owner in less than ten years he would drink blood and kill as many as three Kings of truly Great Nations. But the fact that he was now called a loser and a slowpoke, of course, upset him, yes.
"Who are you?" the lord of the Aesir addressed us in the Asgardian dialect. "And where did you get this weapon?"
– I am Loki, son of Hela, daughter of Odin, son of Bor. King of Asgard and Vanaheim, ruler of Jotunheim, enslaver of the dark elves and Lord Protector of Midgard! – B – impressiveness. – And also a history teacher at one school, – I couldn't help but continue.
"You've gone too far," the raccoon nodded respectfully.
- Wait a second... what do you mean Hela?! What are you talking about, brother? - Thor didn't understand.
"It's a long story," I sighed, "and if you were my brother from my universe, I definitely wouldn't tell you it, but as it is… well, in fact, you are my uncle."
- (O_o)… - the big guy narrowed his eyes.
"You mean to say," Bor intervened in our squabble, "that you are my grandchildren?"
- Not exactly, - I explain to him with a sigh. - We came from another Universe. We need Ether to change the course of some very nasty things. But I sealed mine thoroughly, using your method, Grandpa. So I had to find a Universe with a suitable time course and move here to get the stone.
- And you think that I will give it to you?
"You were going to seal him anyway, but we're offering an even more reliable option – to remove him from this Universe altogether," I shrug.
"Loki, you can't talk to the Great Bear like that…" my brother tried to reason with me.
- Others can't, but we can, because he is our grandfather. And personally, I believe that I have not disgraced the family's honor and fully deserve to speak with my ancestor as an equal.
- Ha-ha-ha, - the one being discussed laughed loudly, - Great Bor, I like it! Well, I see that my family is flourishing, since it was able to conquer the Vanir and the Jotuns and such great magicians and such skilled warriors are born in it... Take the stone.
- What, so simple? - the raccoon was surprised.
- And why not, strange beast? I feel the world. There was no lie in the words of my descendants, and my faithful friend, - he nodded at the spear, - confirms Loki's words and is already envious of himself, so why shouldn't I help my own blood, especially since it will solve my problem?
"Thank you, Grandfather," Thor bowed, and I simply nodded politely – the King of Asgard cannot bow, even to another king. Grandfather smiled knowingly and nodded too.
- We have a great feast ahead of us to celebrate our victory over such a powerful enemy. And a funeral feast for the fallen. Stay, appreciate the hospitality of Asgard, perhaps compare it with today's.
"Rocket?" Thor turned his gaze to the raccoon.
"There's almost no time left," the interviewed beast shook his head.
- Alas, - I spread my hands, - the magic that carried some of us through dimensions has almost expired. Thor and his companion must depart. As for me, I would be honored to be at your banquet table, but allow me to bring my bride with me.
- Of course, - smiled Bor, who had become sad, - so be it! Well, since we are parting now, allow me to wish you a good journey! - and the mighty warrior hugged Thor and me in turn. I must admit, I had very mixed feelings. I had only read or heard tales about Bor and his exploits, and it was interesting to communicate with such an imposing person in person. However... he was not exactly my great-grandfather, and this introduced some dissonance. Nevertheless, why not introduce Storm to him? Since Odin continues to sleep, then why not "use a substitute", no matter how rude it may sound?
That was the end of our conversation. We first returned to my universe, and soon fat Thor and the overly smart raccoon left it too, having gotten what they needed. True, before that we turned into another branch and quickly finished off the Red Skull in some church, pocketing the Tesseract along the way, but it's not really worth mentioning, we just went in and out, a twenty-minute adventure. Well, I hope everything will be fine for them there and they will be able to change their reality. I helped as much as I could, I also gave instructions on how to isolate the Stones, but then... no, this is not my war after all, I'd better go and pester my fiancée. After all, I still have to convince her to meet her grandfather!
***
Ororo's introduction to Bor, combined with the celebration, went off in the best possible way. The grandfather, who felt my bride's connection with the world, was extremely pleased with his descendant's "choice of a spouse." The theory that aces like being hit with lightning gained a couple more bricks under its foundation. But our voyage was over, the girl, pleased with the "approval of her ancestors," gave me a couple of kisses and left, unfortunately, not to "prepare a surprise" in our bedroom, but to continue working on adjusting the curriculum - it again required adjustments, because the mutant children began to master portals, and this immediately became such a headache that now the teaching staff is unanimously thinking about how to move the topic of portals to the graduating class, or better yet, to additional classes for students who are at least twenty. However, with the introduction of new material, this is always the case - no one can predict when it is best to introduce it and what consequences it will have. Speaking of portals, I had just said goodbye to my future wife and was preparing to immerse myself in the secrets of the universe through strange, but certainly very interesting experiments, when a ring of fire appeared in my apartment, from which emerged a person I knew well, who had already celebrated her sixteenth birthday.
– (O_O)/[], – Laura resolutely approached me with a book in her hands.
– (<_<), – I looked at her gloomily.
– (O‸O)/[].
- Look, - I sigh, - I understand everything, but how much longer can this go on? You're already sixteen, you're already a big girl who reads fairy tales to my High Priest's daughter, maybe you'll start talking to me normally? You talk calmly to everyone except me. By the way, I just saved the universe again, even three at once, that should be considered a reason to reward me!
– (>_>)… – she categorically looked away, showing with her whole appearance that the propaganda poster of the new Bolshevik Party hanging on the wall, with Alexei Mironov dressed in a blue jacket, was much more interesting to her than the answers to the remarks of all sorts from the audience.
- Okay, let's say we understand each other at a glance, although I wouldn't mind listening to your voice, but... listen, when a man comes to the bedchamber of a cute little girl to read books to her, that's still normal, but when he comes to the chambers of a sixteen-year-old beauty, that's already somehow...
– (T‸T), – they made a pitiful face.
- And still, it's almost indecent! And anyway, I'm practically a married man... God and...
– (>_>)/[], – moving his hand, creating a new portal, they showed me another book taken out of it. Namely, the Elder Edda.
"What are you hinting at?" I squinted unkindly.
– (<‸<)… – the girl mysteriously chewed her lip, her eyes darting suggestively.
- No! - I was indignant. - It's a terrible libel and slander! There is nothing like that in the sexual and family life of the Gods of Asgard and there never was! Damn Vikings! By the way... - then a brilliant idea came to me - now I can go to parallel worlds and kill all those who wrote these libels! Yes! Exactly! This looks like the right evil plan of a mad scientist!
– (^_^)! – Laura smiled at me, either approving the idea, or hinting at something again. Something like that there's no point in telling her "I'm not like that", because she already knows everything…
- Well, yes, I am a connoisseur of female beauty, - I was forced to give in under this knowing squint. - But there is one important point!
– (*_^)!
- What do you mean, "I'll come to an agreement with Storm"?! - I can't say that I didn't like the way this cutie thought, but somehow it was...
– (_)/[], – they handed me the book again. But why does it seem to me that the girl wants to give me not only and not so much a book? However… I will not focus on this.
- Okay, - Loki is a wise God, Loki will not interfere in women's affairs, and my mulatto girl did not say anything to me about this and did not express dissatisfaction. Laura, on the other hand... well, she is Laura. "Never retreat and never surrender" is her credo - what kind of book is that?
– (^_^)/[], – they handed it to me…
- The Silmarillion? Didn't we stop at the seventh book of the Chronicles of Amber?
– (>_>)… – the girl admitted that she had already read everything to the end. And yes, I really understood it from her face.
- Okay then. But remember, I submit to brute force and coercion. I mean, the power of beauty, yes! - I opened the first page.
Meanwhile, no longer a girl, but a very attractive young woman, slowly undressed, clearly tempting me to at least admire her harmoniously built figure, if not something more, and slipped under the blanket. Yes, under my blanket in my room, but such circumstances did not bother her either.
– (^_^)?
- Oh, I'd like to spank you, but I have a suspicion that you might like something like this. And you used to be such a wonderful child...
– (>____>), – Laura pulled back the blanket a little, demonstrating that she was definitely not a child anymore, but her wonderfulness had grown considerably...
"I've come to the conclusion that my own student is trying to seduce me..." I closed my eyes.
Even though I loved Storm and saw my future with her, it would be dishonest to say that I didn't notice any other girls besides her. I still admired Yuriko with great pleasure, and the only thing that kept me from moving our relationship to a horizontal plane was my reluctance to offend Ororo and the considerations I had already confessed to Charles in that "serious conversation with the girl's worried father." Even though several years had passed, Miss Oyama still considered herself indebted to me for the rest of her life, and I didn't want to be like those asshole bosses who take advantage of their subordinate's hopeless situation in order to get physical. It's clear that our situation was not quite like that, but the associations still offended me, and besides, I had a girlfriend whom, I repeat, I didn't want to offend. Yes, very strange reasoning for a convinced dog who openly tells almost all his friends that he is for harems and polygamy, but this is what happened to my life. I don't know how it came to this, but now I lived with it. And nevertheless, although I didn't allow myself anything, I remained a completely healthy man, and Laura really grew into a beauty, over whom, as I knew for sure, almost all the male students of Charles' school drooled. And even some of the female ones! And she still demanded that I comb her hair and read books… And this definitely could not be attributed to psychological trauma, lack of proper socialization or a childish misunderstanding of some things. She understood everything perfectly well! And I had to live with this too…
- Well then, - a short sigh, - make yourself comfortable and listen. There was Eru, the One, who in Arda is called Iluvatar; and first he made the Ainur, the Holy Ones, who were the creation of his thought, and they were with him before anything else was made...
End
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