The air felt thick and heavy, like the village itself had given up. Not a single soul wandered the streets. Every house was sealed tight, windows locked, doors barred. Two soldiers stood outside each one, stiff and silent, more like they were guarding prisoners than protecting villagers. Even the shop signs seemed defeated, drooping as they swayed in the wind. Dust and spiderwebs clung to the wood, like no one had dared to touch them.
"This place feels cursed," Song Meiyu whispered.
He Yuying nodded grimly. "If a chicken screamed right now, I'd cry."
They turned toward Boyi, ready to demand an explanation, but he was already a step ahead. He had pulled out his spirit transmission jade and held it close to his mouth, speaking low and fast.
"Lord, the group of four is here."
From the jade came Shu Mingye's unmistakable voice, sharp and slightly horrified. "What are they doing there?!"
The four immediately leaned closer, their eyes wide with anticipation.
Boyi hesitated. He swallowed hard and tried to explain carefully, "Eh… It's a… uh… They said they're conducting field research about… using garlic to purify air currents and… reduce political tension."
There was a long, dangerous beat of silence.
Then Shu Mingye's voice exploded from the jade, horrified and thundering, "…Boyi. Are you DRUNK??"
Another pause.
"WHAT POLITICS INVOLVE GARLIC?!"
Linyue, hearing it loud and clear, looked completely unbothered. "Told you garlic diplomacy was groundbreaking."
Shen Zhenyu quietly lifted his sleeve to cover his face. His shoulders shook, the only sign of his struggle to keep from laughing.
Song Meiyu leaned closer to He Yuying and whispered, "Should we run before he sends someone to drag us back?"
He Yuying shook his head, clearly enjoying it. "No. I'm invested. I want to see how long we can keep this up."
Meanwhile, Boyi—sweating bullets—cleared his throat and spoke carefully into the jade. "Uh… Lord… Didn't you… ask them to come for this mission?"
There was another silence on the other end. A long, chilling silence.
Then Shu Mingye's voice came back—soft, slow, and carrying the unmistakable promise of doom. "Where. Is. Linyue?"
Boyi flinched so hard he nearly dropped the jade. Without hesitation, he turned and sprinted toward Linyue. "H-here! The Lord wants to talk to you!" he squeaked, shoving the spirit transmission jade into her hands.
Linyue took it gracefully. "Hello," she said sweetly, as if she hadn't just been caught leading what was essentially an academic expedition on the power of garlic and wind-based diplomacy.
Shu Mingye's voice came through, tight and utterly baffled. "…What. Are. You. Doing?"
Linyue smiled faintly, her tone patient and calm. "Didn't Boyi just tell you?"
"That garlic nonsense?!"
"Yes. As expected, you're the wise one. You understand so quickly."
There was a pause. Then the jade carried the sound of a deep, world-weary sigh that seemed to come from the bottom of Shu Mingye's soul.
"Come back. Now."
Linyue blinked. "Have you forgotten? We're disciples of Xuanyi Pavilion…"
On the other end, Shu Mingye could be heard rubbing his temples so hard. He muttered something low and dangerous that the jade thankfully didn't pick up.
Linyue went on, "We're here for garlic—"
"Enough with the garlic!" Shu Mingye snapped.
Behind her, Song Meiyu cupped her hands around her mouth and whispered to He Yuying, "We should've said chili instead. Chili sounds more heroic."
He Yuying nodded, arms crossed. "Too late now. We ride with garlic."
Shen Zhenyu stared at the sky. Possibly asking for divine intervention. Or a lightning bolt. Or a shovel to dig a hole and disappear. At that point, any option would do.
From the spirit jade, Shu Mingye's voice came again. This time less terrifying demonic warlord and more a very tired man who had reached the edge of his patience. "Pie… I'll ask the palace kitchen to make anything you want. I'll even do it myself. Just come back, okay?"
Song Meiyu gasped loudly. Her eyes lit up like she had just witnessed the scandal of the century. "Pie? The Demon King calls Sister Linyue Pie?"
He Yuying blinked, clearly confused. "Wait… is that a pet name or… is he planning to bake her?"
Shen Zhenyu frowned. He didn't say anything, but the crease between his brows said plenty, "Since when did they get so close?"
Linyue ignored her loud companions. "But we're on a noble mission for garlic—"
"I'll ban garlic in all of Shulin!" Shu Mingye roared so fast and so furiously, she didn't even get to finish the sentence. Then his voice returned, low and tired but carrying a dangerous kind of sincerity. "Pie, come back or I'll kiss you."
The world seemed to pause. Birds forgot how to chirp. Somewhere, a lone leaf gave up mid-fall and just hovered awkwardly.
Song Meiyu's jaw dropped.
He Yuying choked on nothing but air.
Shen Zhenyu's hands twitched like he was seriously debating uprooting the nearest tree and throwing it for stress relief.
Linyue blinked slowly, expression unreadable, though the tips of her ears had definitely turned pink. She coughed once. "...I see threats are getting more creative these days."
"Not a threat," Shu Mingye's voice came through the jade, low and steady. "It's a promise."
This time, Song Meiyu didn't even gasp. She just let out a high-pitched squeal and turned to He Yuying. "This is it! This is the moment! Someone write this down for history!"
He Yuying stared straight ahead. "I'm too stunned to move. My soul has left my body."
Shen Zhenyu pressed his fingers to his forehead and began rubbing slowly, as if he could massage the chaos out of his life one circle at a time.
Linyue kept staring at the spirit transmission jade in her hand. Shu Mingye's voice still echoed faintly from it. Had he always been this thin-skinned? And dramatic?
Apparently so.
Well then. If he was going to be bold, she might as well play along. Her lips curled into a small, amused smile as she said sweetly, "I'm expecting, then."
A silence so heavy followed that even the spiders dangling from dusty signboards seemed to freeze mid-web.
"…Are you being serious right now?" Shu Mingye's voice came at last, slow and wary, like he couldn't believe what he had just heard.
Linyue's tone shifted. Calm, serious, and steady as if she hadn't just dropped a verbal bomb and set the entire group (and possibly the entire state) into chaos. "We're already here. Sister Meiyu will just poke a little here and there to check. Then we'll go back."
There was a short pause. Then the sound of low laughter, warm and edged with something dangerous came from the jade. "Poke?" Shu Mingye repeated. "Fine. But don't get too close. Don't touch. Don't find trouble."
Linyue's lips twitched upward. "We don't find trouble. We are the trouble. Or trouble finds us. Whichever comes first."
Behind her, Song Meiyu silently gave her a proud thumbs-up, looking like a big sister who had just witnessed her younger sibling successfully flirt with a thunderstorm.
From the jade came the sound of a long, heavy sigh. "…Pie, just come back safely."
Linyue tilted her head, a smile curling at the edges of her lips. "I'll be safe. I haven't even redeemed the sniffing fee yet."
A faint chuckle followed. Deep, warm, and exasperated. "Alright. I'll pay you ten times the market price."
He sounded like he meant it. Like he would scatter gold at her feet if it meant she'd turn around and come back. Linyue's eyes softened a little at that. Just a little. Then the calm mask slipped neatly back into place. She turned and handed the jade to Boyi with a bright, untroubled smile.
"Here," she said cheerfully. "Your turn to suffer."
Boyi took the jade nervously.
Song Meiyu was already whispering to herself, "He calls her Pie… ten times the price… the scandal… the romance…"
Linyue ignored her and declared, "Let's start our noble mission."
The four of them stood shoulder to shoulder in what could generously be called a heroic line. Heads high. Expressions determined. Then they all turned their heads left. Then right. Then left again.
"…Where exactly do we start?" Song Meiyu asked, hand already hovering near her herbs pouch.