It was a perfectly ordinary Tuesday—meaning absolutely nothing exciting was happening, just the way I liked it.
I was strolling home from my usual café shift, headphones blasting some lo-fi beats, half-lost in thoughts about grinding levels in my favorite VRMMO. Honestly, the only thing I was committed to was avoiding any kind of actual effort.
Then, out of nowhere, this old lady appeared right in front of me—totally oblivious to the speeding delivery cart careening down the street like it was auditioning for a demolition derby.
"She's gonna get flattened," I thought, slowing down with zero intention of actually doing anything.
But something—call it random chance, or maybe a last shred of humanity buried under my mountain of laziness—made me step forward at the last second.
Just enough to shove her out of the cart's path.
I swear, I barely moved. More like a slow, half-hearted nudge. She stumbled but was fine, probably more shocked than hurt.
And then, just as I stood there catching my breath, I thought, Why the hell did I even do that?
I mean, I'm the guy who dodges social interaction like it's a boss fight. Who's allergic to physical activity except for the bare minimum needed to reach my gaming chair. Why risk my perfectly mediocre day for some random granny?
"Maybe I'm losing it," I muttered, half-expecting some dramatic movie soundtrack to kick in. Nope, just the usual city noise.
Then, suddenly—everything went black.
No warning, no dizzy spell, just… darkness.
I tried to blink it away. Maybe I was having a weird migraine or one of those "Oh crap I forgot to eat today" moments.
But no.
This was something else.
Somewhere deep inside my skull, a weird buzzing started. Like when your phone vibrates, but I had no phone on me.
And then, a robotic voice echoed in my head:
"Congratulations, mortal. You have been chosen."
I opened my eyes. Not to the familiar gray sky or noisy street, but to… a void. Endless blackness speckled with tiny stars, like a cheap screensaver.
I groaned. "Great. First I save a grandma, now I'm stuck in some cosmic weirdness."
And then a glowing screen flickered before me, words typing out with that cliché sci-fi beep:
"Godly Lazy System Activated."
I squinted. "Godly Lazy System? Sounds like someone was bored and hit random on their game dev tool."
More text popped up:
"Welcome, User. Your quest: Level up by doing absolutely nothing."
I blinked. Then laughed. "No way. You're joking, right? Level up by doing nothing?
That's like my dream come true."
A sarcastic little prompt popped up: "Warning: Laziness is mandatory. Effort will result in system failure."
"Okay, I'm hooked already," I said aloud, leaning back on the invisible void's nothingness.
Then the system added one more line:
"Checkpoint acquired: Doing Nothing."
I sighed and muttered, "Well, I guess this is my life now."
And somewhere, far away, a tiny part of me wondered if this was a prank. But hey, if the universe wanted me to save an old lady and get a game system for free XP while chilling, who was I to complain?
The void faded away like bad Wi-Fi, and suddenly I was... standing. Or maybe sitting.
Hard to tell when you wake up in a pixelated village square that looks like it was designed by someone who hated their job.
I looked down. Yep, definitely me—but not me. More like me in 8-bit, wearing some generic villager clothes, the kind you see a thousand times in RPGs before they get brutally killed by the first monster you meet.
I muttered, "Great. Reincarnated as background noise. Just what I always wanted."
A pop-up hovered over my head:
Name: Lazy MC
Class:NPC
Level: 1
XP: 0 / 100
My eyes scanned the text, and honestly, I was half-expecting some glitchy message like "Error: No plot assigned."
Then the system pinged in my head again:
"Welcome back, User. Passive XP accumulation enabled. Standing still increases XP gain."
I raised an eyebrow. "So you're telling me, if I just stand here like a total slacker, I level up?"
The screen winked: "Correct. Laziness is your greatest weapon."
I smirked, folding my pixel arms. "Now that's the kind of grind I can get behind."
As I wandered through the village, I realized something else—everyone else was going about their usual busy NPC business: chopping wood, running errands, gossiping about the blacksmith's latest scandal etcetera.
Meanwhile, I was free to just... exist. No quests, no drama, no pushing some story agenda.
I found a bench, sat down, and closed my eyes.
"Ah, the ultimate power move," I said aloud, "Doing nothing, gaining everything."
Just then, an old man shuffled up to me, squinting. "Hey, you! You don't look like one of us. What's your deal?"
I blinked. "I'm just your friendly neighborhood NPC... who excels at chilling."
He grunted, suspicious, and walked away.
I chuckled. "Yeah, I'm definitely going to be the village's most unproductive legend."
Suddenly, a notification popped up:
"New Skill Unlocked: Catnap Mastery — Gain double XP while napping."
I almost dropped my jaw. "This system really gets me."
And just as I started to lean back for a power nap, the peaceful vibe shattered. A terrifying roar echoed from the nearby forest. Villagers screamed and ran.
I sighed, reluctantly standing up.
"Guess it's time to show that overkill boss monster the true meaning of lazy power... or at least barely lift a finger."
The chaos from the forest faded behind me as I casually strolled back toward the village's campfire.
The monsters were probably busy munching on some poor adventurer anyway. My system pinged again:
"You have reached a new milestone: Checkpoint ability unlocked."
I stopped mid-step, eyebrow twitching. "Checkpoint? What is this, a roguelike game now?"
A little tutorial box appeared in my vision:
"Claim any location as a 'Checkpoint' by standing still for five minutes.
Checkpoints save your progress and provide XP regeneration while idle."
I chuckled, imagining all the hardcore gamers sweating over complex leveling mechanics while I just had to stand and nap.
Looking around, I spotted a cozy-looking campfire surrounded by logs. Perfect spot for the laziest grind in history.
I plopped down on a log, crossed my arms, and leaned back with zero urgency. The crackling fire warmed my pixelated face, and I felt a new wave of XP slowly trickle into my bar.
My internal monologue went sarcastic, as usual: "Wow, getting stronger by doing absolutely nothing. Take that, all you overachievers."
Suddenly, a soft glow appeared next to me. An NPC healer girl, glowing with a suspicious aura, blinked at me. She tilted her head, clearly confused.
"You're... just sitting there?" she asked, her voice a mix of curiosity and disbelief.
"Yep," I replied, smirking. "Turns out, laziness is my superpower."
She narrowed her eyes, probably thinking I was either crazy or some kind of bug in the system.
Before she could say more, the campfire flickered wildly and a distant howl echoed through the night. I opened one eye lazily.
"Looks like trouble's coming. Or maybe it's just the system testing me."
The healer shrugged and disappeared into the shadows, probably to warn the villagers.
I stretched, feeling the XP bar jump up a few ticks.
"Checkpoint established. Time to power nap and level up," I mumbled as I closed my eyes, fully embracing my godly lazy destiny.
Just as I was sinking deeper into my campfire nap, a commotion nearby snapped me awake.
A squad of players burst into the clearing, swords drawn and spells flying. Typical "heroic" types on a quest to clear out the goblin nest.
I sighed, already half-distracted. "Ugh, can't a lazy guy get some peace?"
Then, out of nowhere, one of the players got caught in a trap—flailing, panicked, and desperately swinging his sword. But instead of helping, the others were too busy fighting monsters to notice.
The trapped player took a fatal hit, collapsing right next to my checkpoint.
Suddenly, my system pinged like crazy:
"Absorbed 1500 XP from nearby player death."
"New Title Unlocked: AFK Slayer."
I blinked, stunned. "Wait, what? You mean I just leveled up because some hero died near me while I was literally napping?"
My lazy smirk returned. "This system's broken... but I'm not complaining."
A faint glow surrounded me — some kind of passive buff activating. Apparently, death proximity XP was a thing. Who knew?
Just then, one of the players glanced over, spotting me on the log, eyes half-closed.
"Are you… just sitting there? While we're risking our lives?"
I yawned. "Yeah. Someone's gotta keep the checkpoints comfy."
They grumbled, clearly annoyed but unsure what to do with this bizarre NPC who was somehow getting stronger doing nothing.
I leaned back, stretching again. "If being lazy gets me this far, maybe I should nap through the whole game."
The campfire flickered as shadows danced. Somewhere deep in the forest, a vampire lord stirred, probably annoyed at the growing power of this lazy NPC nobody expected.
And me? I just smiled, ready for my next idle grind.
The morning sun barely warmed the clearing when I noticed her—the AI healer NPC, glowing softly as she tended to wounded players nearby.
Not your usual game sprite; she had this uncanny gaze, like she was analyzing everything, especially me.
Her footsteps echoed softly, closing in on my "checkpoint." I tried to act casual—leaning against a tree, half-asleep—but my system buzzed nervously.
"Hey… you're not like the others, are you?" she said, eyes narrowing with curiosity. "You don't fight, you don't run quests, yet your presence distorts the XP flow here."
I blinked. "Well, someone's gotta keep the vibe chill. I'm the 'relaxation specialist.'"
She raised an eyebrow. "You're hiding something. Systems don't work like this. I'm going to watch you."
Great. Now I had a stalker who probably wouldn't get the memo that my power was to do absolutely nothing.
As she turned away, I whispered, "Guess it's time to up my lazy game."
With that, I settled in for another nap, knowing this mystery healer would be watching—and maybe, just maybe, I'd have to do some work... but only if absolutely necessary.