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I was summoned to the church for a religious trial. Yes, it was the familiar lie detector test. My party members were waiting behind me. And behind them were the adventurers who had been drinking until just now, who had come to watch the trial as curious onlookers.
"Sato Kazuma. Reports have been raised that you have a personal relationship with Lady Eris, and that you have even been unfaithful to her! Do you have any ideas regarding this?"
"No, nothing."
Ding
"Kazuma-san, hurry up and spit it out and feel better."
Aqua looks at me with an intimidating smile...
"If we at the Church of Eris believe that Kazuma has abused his status as a hero and humiliated Lady Eris, then we must take appropriate action. However, we are not judicial officials. We will not impose any punishment, so please answer honestly and without any deception."
Good. That looks okay.
"Well, the monks' murderous intent was questionable, so I hope they're innocent..."
"Hey, that's essentially the death penalty! It's even worse than justice!"
This is why people with backward civilizations are such a problem. But now that I'm here, there's no escape.
"Um... were you suspected of defiling Lady Eris or something?"
"Normally, it would have been dismissed as just the ramblings of an idiot, but this time he himself appeared and we exchanged words. To be honest, there were a lot of people who thought, 'That Kazuma is the kind of person who could do something like that.'"
Hey, seriously, stop it.
"Kazuma-san, explain to me what's naughty about Eris. Right, in front of all the believers, okay?"
Is she really a goddess? She's a cute junior, right?
"Well then, first of all, Kazuma-dono, what do you think of Eris-sama?"
"She is a goddess I respect."
Ding
"I think a goddess is just a girl with a job..."
"Hmm, well, we have a relationship where we have things to talk about, so it's inevitable that we feel a bit close."
I wondered if this was okay, and what I would do if people thought it was disrespectful...
"So, what's your relationship like?"
"The relationship between a goddess and an adventurer."
Ding
Huh? Is this a no-no?
"On rare occasions, we would talk alone."
"Oh, I'm jealous."
"I think he was just worried about me challenging the Demon King."
Ding
"Hmm? I guess you know why?"
Huh? Doesn't he seem a little angry? I don't think this is possible... I guess I'll have to call for help.
"Well, my relationship with Lady Eris changed a few days ago. With Lady Eris's kindness, I was allowed to leave the Hall of the Dead and enter her private room."
"It doesn't ring... We have such a strong relationship..."
"Eris-sama's room was simply built, so I sat next to her at her urging."
See, it's almost time for a limit, right?
"Lady Eris gazed at me with a passionate gaze, saying that there was only one girl here..."
"Wait!"
As the Gate of Light appears, a familiar face appears.
"Eh, Lady Eris?!"
Lady Eris has arrived. Great, now I can escape.
"K-Kazuma-sama defeated the Demon King and supported me when I was struggling with the pressure. That's why I wanted to talk to him privately."
Wow, Eris-sama, you're talking so fast and desperate. Apparently lie detectors don't go off if you're a goddess, so I'll leave the rest to you, Eris-sama.
"I'm sorry to ask such a question after you've come all the way here, but Kazuma-sama says Eris-sama is a sexy girl on the level of a succubus..."
Now, what will you do, Lady Eris? I have no say in this.
"I, I told Kazuma-sama that once the Demon King is defeated, I will do whatever it takes to make his wish come true... If Kazuma-sama wants to do that with me..."
Hey, stop it. It's very cute, but that's disgusting.
"Anything?! I see, I understand that Kazuma-sama is trash."
Ah, so based on this explanation it's my fault after all?
"Well, since this is considered disrespectful... Monks, come this way."
"No wait! Is there any man who doesn't have high hopes after seeing Eris just now?!"
"N-nothing...no, don't lump me in with you!"
Ding
"That's right! Our faith is real!"
Ding
"Even if you say anything, there's no way I'll have any lust!"
Ding
The Monk members are really sounding great.
"Wow."
"Like the Axis religion."
"In the end, men are..."
"What do you mean, warrior monk?"
Since then, the image of the Eris Church has really fallen.
"I respect Kazuma-sama, who risked his life to defeat the Demon King and exorcise the fear and sadness of the people. I do not wish for Kazuma-sama to receive such criticism!"
"That's right!"
"At the very least, you have no right to judge!"
Everyone, for me.
"To begin with, the Eris religion is arrogant and annoying!"
Oh, maybe I was wrong.
"Priest, if you want to talk about the organization's reputation, I'll take responsibility."
A man came towards us from the back of the gallery. Ah, it was the old bishop.
"Eris-sama, you are just as I thought. Even with all our expectations and pressure on your slender shoulders, you remain very upright."
"You... you were the one who was able to hear even the smallest of my voice."
It seems like these two have something in common. Or rather, can you see faith?
"Kazuma-sama."
"yes"
The old bishop is coming over here. Is this guy a good friend?
"I'm sorry this happened."
"No, it's true that I was rude to Lady Eris."
It seems like he's someone who understands what he's saying.
"Everyone, I want you to listen. To us, Eris-sama is a god. But to Kazuma-sama, we are neighbors, no, our relationship is even more special."
"Bishop, we also have a position in the church."
"We earned that position by continuing to pray for salvation from Lady Eris. Lord Kazuma risked his life in order to save even Lady Eris."
Oh, he speaks so passionately that I can't even tell him that he used a lot of dirty methods.
"We have no right to complain to Kazuma-sama. We only sought salvation for one girl and ended up becoming a burden... What right do we have to say to the hero who fought to save her?"
"That's right! When Eris-sama was captured, Kazuma was the only one who charged at the Demon King's executives."
"What were those nearby priests doing?!"
"I saw it too!"
What were you guys doing then?!
"That's because you have the power to be a hero!"
Oh, a priest? Well, I guess that's a good idea.
"That's not true!"
Mitsurugi interrupted, his voice unusually emotional. "My timing is..."
"Kazuma is an adventurer with the weakest job! His level is even lower than many of the warriors here! He's a man who has searched for what he can do, accumulated experience, and moved forward despite facing death many times!"
"That's right! We Crimson Demons were also saved by Kazuma!"
That's the most positive interpretation. If I speak, I'll be exposed, so I'll keep quiet.
"The heroes, the Crimson Demons, the adventurers, and even Lady Eris all gathered together out of admiration for him. Don't you think it's presumptuous for us, people who have gathered under Lady Eris's prestige, to try to judge him?"
"Th, that's..."
Everyone in the Eris religion. It was completely silent. Good, it looks like we'll be able to go home safely today.
"So, Kazuma-sama."
"Ah yes."
"Please be the only one to treat Lady Eris as a young girl and stay by her side. I will pray for her happiness in this peaceful world that you have brought about."
"The Bishop's Grandfather"
"I, too, am proud that someone like you believed in me and continued to pray for me."
Eris seems happy too. I agree. I don't know anyone who can pray for God's happiness.
"Now, Priest, your verdict."
The priest thought for a moment with a look of regret on his face and spoke.
"At the request of the victim, Lady Eris, Satou Kazuma is found not guilty!"
It felt a little forceful, but thanks to everyone's help, I seem to have won my innocence.
"You did it, Kazuma!"
"You're a hero after all!"
Dust, Keith
"Thank you everyone! Friends are the best thing to have."
Just as I was getting cocky, Eris came over here with a sulky look on her face.
"Kazuma-san, please reflect on your actions! You're being too naughty, okay?"
"Yes. Sorry."
I'm so sorry. I'm also sorry that I thought this was cute.
"Alright! Time for another drink!"
Everyone trooped back to the bar.
"Bishop, I'm sure Eris will forgive you today!"
"Mitsurugi, join us sometimes!"
"Eris-sama, please join us!"
"I'm sorry. I still have things to do as a goddess."
I wonder. Has the value of my existence been erased?
"Hey, Eris?"
"Yes, what is it, Aqua-senpai?"