I don't know how long I've been here, drifting toward that light — that hope of something other than eternal emptiness, that glimmer suspended in the darkness, like a fragile promise at the heart of the void.
Although, "walking" would be the wrong word. I'm not walking. I'm gliding, drifting. My body is nothing more than an idea now, but I know I'm making progress.
I should be bored, given the hours… or is it days?
I don't know anymore.
All this time I've spent quietly wandering toward that thin thread of hope.
I finally reach the end of the tunnel, and the light blinds me for a few seconds.
The light bursts across my face. For an instant, everything wavers. A flash, shards of pain — then nothing.
When my eyes adjust, I discover an immense hall, frozen outside of time. All around, galaxies hang suspended in the void, like jewels in an infinite case.
I could lose myself for years in the contemplation of the millions of stars filling the endless horizon. And that's exactly what I start doing, not paying attention to anything else around me.
"Hum hum."
A deep, ancient voice resonates behind me. Tinged with slight amusement.
I turn around.
I startle a little before regaining my composure and answering in a muddled way, slightly embarrassed by the situation.
"Sorry… I got carried away by the beauty of the place. I didn't see you."
"You're not the first to lose yourself in the contemplation of my little private hall, and surely not the last," the old man replies.
His gaze tells me he is neither disturbed nor surprised. As if, deep down, he would have been surprised if I hadn't done it.
He looks at me calmly, seemingly determined to make me break the silence first.
"God, I suppose?" I ask, not really waiting for or expecting an answer.
"No." He answer, calmly.
"I am just the guy in charge of consulting and management for earth number 000105214536025... that you currently call God."
he continues with a little smile.
"By the way, thank you for the update. Anubis is such a douche name... and do I look like a dog to you ?"
- "A jackal"
"Same thing" he continues brushing off my correction as if I didn't even said it.
"Anyway, you surprise me..."
"You don't seems to panic. In fact, you're incredibly calm. Not that I do'nt appreciate, that really change from all the others screaming, begging and arse licking dudes..."
"Not even panicked about being dead… That's extremely rare," the entity says,
"It's been a year since they told me I was going to die from this tumor. I've had some time to process and put things in perspective, compared to most other people in this world," I reply.
I mean, one year trapped in an hospital, waiting for your death, and I promise you that when you die, you don't arrive here screaming and panicking
Beside I hate noise. It's one of the things that annoys me the most.
That, bad timing, having to repeat myself and being interrupted.
"Interesting," says being X.
"But to answer your question, of why are you here, I am like the After-sales service of life... or death, it depend on the perspective." he continues, seeming to search within me for something invisible to the naked eye.
"I think you gave that Job to Peter in your little cults. really bad idea, that guy is such a mood. Hell would need to be duplicated in size by seven or at least five if this guy was in charge of the after life of people."
Ok, thank you. I guess...
"So, are you just here to say a quick hello before sending me off to hell for eternal damnation or something like that?" I ask, a bit resigned.
Honestly, I think I'm going to hell. I wasn't a monster — I never killed, raped, tortured, or did any other atrocity — but I wasn't a good guy either. I was… a bit of a regular normal asshole, really. Not fundamentally bad, not really good. Just… in the grey area. For a long time, I thought I'd end up in some kind of "undecided" section, like limbo. Stuck for eternity in a metaphysical waiting room.
But if the big boss of the universe is taking the trouble to personally deal with my case, it probably means I'm in monumental trouble.
"No, not in hell," God replies, looking deeply focused. Then, without giving me time to nurture the slightest hope: "But not in heaven either. And no, the limbo doesn't exist."
"What?" That's all I manage to say, half relieved, half dismayed. Wait… is he reading my thoughts?
"Well, technically it exist, but it is really used only in last ressource... And you aren't that guilty to join the Austrian Guy and Reverse flash in that empty place, with only them to talk for eternity."
"Unless you would like ?" He says With a little smile, before whispering "Obviously..." in his bear, as he watch me doing a big "No" of the head. Then he goes back to read some paper.
"Well, to be honest, your case is very complex. And, as I said, extremely rare," he states. Then adds, as if it were obvious: "And yes, I can read your thoughts."
I narrow my eyes. "So?"
He crosses his arms, tilts his head slightly. "So, I think I'm going to reincarnate you." He ends that sentence with a half-smile, almost amused.
"Huh?"