Chapter : 5
I am the only source of their sadness.
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"Patriarch, this slave has brought young master Qing here."
After knocking on the door, she arched her hand and bowed toward door, and asked for permission to enter.
Inside courtyard.
When Qing Feng heard the knock on the door, he used his spiritual power to open the door.
Qing Feng dressed in a green-blue dress, his handsome face and majesty on his face, and the temperament that has gained over the years, as he is in the position of the patriarch.
His thought and living basis have changed too.
Beside Qing Feng, a young boy of six years old was standing and holding a very exquisite, intricately golden-patterned sword in his hand and swinging it in the air, just like they usually practiced.
The boy was also very fair, cute, and would definitely be handsome once he grew up.
The only thing on his face making him dull was his cold face.
There was no emotion on his face, as if he was like a puppet now.
As they were doing the practice, Song Yan brought Qing Tian, where Qing Feng lived.
Qing Feng's courtyard is very large, almost ten times that of where Qing Tian lives, and as for luxury, there is no comparison between them.
"Greeting father...!!" After meeting his father, he quickly bowed and greeted him in an excited tone.
Just after he said this, he walked up again toward his elder brother and took out the green bamboo flute and said:
"Brother, how are you....?"
"I have brought a gift for you..!!"
Holding the hand of Qing Long, which had been calloused by the use of the sword and a little bit rough; so much different from the soft hand of Qing Tian.
Qing Long looked at the green bamboo flute in hand and was just about to say something, when he heard Qing Tian speaking again.
"Brother, this is a second-grade weapon, green bamboo flute. Although it doesn't have the attack power that brother likes, it calms your mind once you start to play. Don't worry big brother, I will teach you how to play, then we two brothers can play the flute together."
Qing Tian continued to chatter, however, he didn't notice the facial expressions of both Qing Feng and Qing Long becoming more weird.
However, Qing Feng interrupted Qing Tian's chatter in the middle.
"Qing Tian, you didn't cultivate and are wasting your resources as well as time in this useless stuff, and even now letting your brother be dragged into the same. Don't you feel ashamed... of it? Your brother is the greatest genius of the entire clan, maybe even for the entire Desolate Mystic World. How can he have time to waste with you?"
Qing Feng got up and took the bamboo flute from the hand of Qing Long and threw it on the ground.
The green bamboo was almost destroyed by Qing Feng with just throwing it on the ground.
Qing Tian looked at his father, he didn't understand what he has done to make them angry on himself.
looking at the broken bamboo flute on the ground, there were almost tears in his eyes, but he controlled it and didn't let them come out from his eyes.
Then he didn't look at his father, but at the Qing Long, his elder brother, because he hoped that his brother would say something, and persuade the father to let him teach Qing Long, where he can spend his own time with his parent and brother.
Qing Long found the gaze of Qing Tian and gave a cold look to Qing Tian and said:
"Qing Tian, don't play with these toys, you have grown up and you should focus on cultivation. Although I know you don't care about your reputation, you should at least think about father and mother. How much criticism they face because of you."
Listening to his brother's words, Qing Tian lowered his head and muttered:
"Brother, I am waste... I don't have the cultivation talent. If I cultivate it will use the resources of the clan, however, if it is given to someone else, it may be more effective than me."
"And, I don't need to cultivate. Don't I have father-mother, you, grandpa, and aunt Song to protect me, as long i live, after all I won't be able to live too long? Won't you protect me, for till that?" He raised his head, and that innocent smile came again on his face again, confident that they would definitely protect him whenever he was in danger.
The moment Qing Tian said this, the sword in Qing Long's hand trembled slightly, as anger appeared on his face was clearly visible.
Whenever, he heard Qing Tian calling himself waste, an shame and uncomfortable feeling came to his heart.
What he hated most in his life was when someone said Qing Tian was waste.
However, it was not from family love, but rather the shame on his character, shame on his physique.
Whenever he went to people of his age, they would also talk about how he devoured his bloodline and physique, making Qing Tian waste.
So he simply hated that, but looking at the face of Qing Tian, even though he wanted to scold his younger brother, he didn't.
"Go away and better cultivate, don't make such a face. It will not help you. It's better to cultivate." Qing Long snorted and then turned back to his father, who was watching coldly.
Qing Long held his sword in hand and then started to practice again under the careful eyes of Qing Feng.
Song Yan in the back saw everything and the behavior that they had done to the child.
She simply couldn't stand this and wanted to do something, but her hands were held by the little gentle hand of Qing Tian, swaying away her hands.
And gesturing with his face, not to say anything.
She looked at Qing Tian's appearance, she couldn't help but sigh at fate. Although she wanted to, she restrained herself.
Qing Feng from his peripheral vision watched all this, but there was only disdain in his eyes for them.
However, at this time, a beautiful woman in her mid-twenties appeared in front of them and her body condensed.
She was Ji Yuyue, the mother of Qing Tian and Qing Long.
Her pale face, from the moment of giving birth to the most beautiful lady in the Qing Clan. She had risen her position a long way.
She restrained her aura and then walked toward Qing Tian, spreading her arms, as if she wanted to hug the person in front of her.
Qing Tian, looking at his mother's action, smiled, walked toward her and just opened his arms, when suddenly Ji Yuyue passed Qing Tian without even caring or even glancing at him.
The moment she passed by his side and then hugged Qing Long in her arms, Qing Tian stood there petrified.
His smiling face dropped to almost crying, and this time the tears finally came, and the hot tears slid down through his cheeks.
Thinking of that incident, where he was caught crying, and severely reprimanded that a boy shouldn't cry, he quickly wiped the hot tears with the cloth of his arm and then turned back, glancing at Qing Long and Ji Yuyue, Ji Yuyue who was kneeling in front of Qing Long and cupping his face, infinite motherly love flowing through her actions.
He watched them from the side and their love, and quickly became happy, thinking that his brother rarely came to them, and most of the time he spent in the ancestral home of the clan, and again that smile formed on his face.
His heart ached, watching his mother and brother talking happily with each other.
Although he was envious of them, but what he could, however he was also not jealous of this, anyhow he convinced himself to be happy just by seeing them like this, and feeling the same they used to do, when he was jsut born, because there is defect in his eyes, after all what he sees he can never forget, and from the moment he has opened his eyes, everything he ahs remembered..
But deep inside the Qing Tian's heart, maintaining that smile on his face felt so heavy.
Inside his heart, he always longed for the embrace of his mother's arms.
Those gentle touch of her hand, the warmth of her love, it all seemed so close, but it is so far away.
However, even so, he didn't step forward to interrupt them, he could only watch, otherwise if he interupptted her, his mother will scold him again.
Song Yan was still watching, but the innocent smile of Qing Tian held her still.
Ji Yuyue, meanwhile, was completely lost in doting her love on Qing Long.
She stroked his hair softly with her jade hands, her eyes glowing with pride and smile formed on her face.
"Long'er, you must work hard. The future of the clan will rest on your shoulders."
Qing Long simply nodded at her words.
His expression was always cold, but the hilt of the sword in his hand was gripped tightly, after hearing his mother words.
Meanwhile, Qing Tian lowered his head.
His tiny fingers curled into fists, not out of anger or jealousy, but to stop himself from crying again., so his parents can't see him crying.
"The words of parents… that a boy shouldn't cry."
So, he smiled again.
A fragile, trembling smile formed on his face, a smile uglier than any tears.
He didn't blame his parents for not loving him as much as Qing Long, nor did he blame his brother for taking everything he should have deserved.
After all, he knew himself that he might be a waste. After all, if you are not a waste, then how can you not even have the love of your parents?
"It doesn't matter. Even if no one loves me, even if no one protects me… I still have them. My father, my mother, my brother, Aunt Song… and him."
"As long as they are happy, I will be happy too."
Thinking of this, he looked at the three of them once more, then turned back and grabbed Song Yan's hand with his small fingers. He nodded to her to leave. He didn't want to disturb them with his unwanted presence, the child whom the clan called by another name; the waste.
They left. The courtyard behind them grew distant, but the laughter there still reached Qing Tian's ears and echoed in his mind.
Qing Tian's chest rose and fell quickly. He bit his lips, forcing himself to calm down.
Although both Ji Yuyue and Qing Feng noticed that the two had left without saying anything, they didn't care.
Ji Yuyue had already distanced herself from Qing Tian long ago. As for Qing Feng, the moment he discovered that Qing Long had awakened the Sun God Body, his hopes in Qing Tian completely vanished.
Today Qing Feng had called them so he could teach, but seeing Qing Tian like this only deepened his disappointment.
Unlike them, Qing Tian and Song Yan walked silently toward his small courtyard.
Qing Tian's home was far from the main estate of Qing Feng's household. Compared to the grand pavilions of the main family, his place was truly shabby.
As they entered, Qing Tian broke the silence with a forced smile on his face.
"Aunt Song, don't look so sad. I am not only fine… but also happy."
Song Yan's throat tightened, feeling the pain his words.
She wanted to speak, and let him know and to tell him he wasn't fine, but the words stuck in her mouth and refused to come out, while looking at the confident appearance of his.
The boy was only a little over six years old, the life he lived, the pain he carried; was heavier than that of many older than him. Specially the matuarity on his face. The smile on his face was that of someone who had already learned how to hide his pain from the world and always smile.
Qing Tian took out the flute from the storage ring, that had been given to Qing Long and later thrown away by Qing Feng and now broken.
"This flute…" he whispered to himself with the same smile on his faace, "…even if it's broken, I'll keep it. I gave it to brother as a gift, after all."
After that, he put that flute in the storage ring back.
Song Yan finally couldn't bear to watch it anymore.
She knelt down in front of him, her voice trembling.
"Xiao Tian, why do you bear so much? Don't you feel wronged? What haven't you done for them? But they don't care about you. They only love those who can give something back to them, like the something they are investing and get the profit from it, and it is not the emotion profit but rather the money and reputation. They don't care for a waste, or for slaves like us, who can be used and then thrown away."
Qing Tian blinked for a second.
His big, clear blue eyes met hers, and for a moment, the mask of a smile on his face dropped.
His hands trembled for moment.
His fragile look was like that of a small bird caught in the rain.
But then, once again, he shook his head and smiled with the same innocent expression.
"No, Aunt… why should I feel wronged? Father has brother to be proud of. Mother loves brother. Isn't that good? At least they are happy. Yes, they are happy. And I… I am only the source of their sadness, the stain on the entire Qing Clan. And Aunt, we must never forget one thing: we should not forget our good nature, no matter what. It is their nature to love me or discard me, but my nature is to love and care for them."
"Just like the nature of the snake is to bit, while the saint's nature to let him go back, even if he had bitten him."
His voice trembled as he spoke, but his emotions betrayed him.
Song Yan bit her lips until they bled, by hearing the words of the Qing Tian.
Her vision blurred, but she refused to let the tears fall and let him see.
Instead, she hugged his trembling body tightly in her arms.
For a moment, Qing Tian froze, startled by the sudden warmth. Then, slowly, his small hand rose and hugged her back. He buried his face into her shoulder, and his body shaking slightly.
And although he tried his best to stop the tears, this time they fell onto Song Yan's shoulder.
They remained in the same position for a long time.
After some time.
"Xiao Tian… Xiao Tian…?"
Song Yan called his name softly, but there was no response.
He fell asleep.
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End of the chpater, 5!!