Settling down for the night in the hallway, Anakin stared silently at the dark ceiling. He continued his silent dialogue with himself, trying to figure out why he had decided that Ahsoka, having left the Order, had become a prostitute. He immediately got an answer that he frankly did not like. It was only because his body had reacted appropriately to her appearance. Just as the body of a young, healthy man should react to a young and, let's be honest, very attractive woman who didn't even suspect how beautiful and sexy she was. She behaved as if she were an ordinary ugly girl, and so it seemed to Asoka that she was shamelessly flaunting her natural assets, unaware of their true value. And although Anakin understood that these arguments were extremely reasonable and correct, and most importantly, completely natural, and that it was foolish to blame himself for something that was inherent in him by nature, he still continued to deny the obvious. He simply began to think that his body had taken on a life of its own, separate from his mind and heart, and had now openly betrayed its master. After all, he, Anakin Skywalker, couldn't just switch from one woman to another like that. He loved Padmé more than life itself, and it had only been a week since her death. The only excuse Anakin could find for himself was that he had not been intimate with a woman since the day Padmé told him she was pregnant. Amidala, immediately after announcing the happy news, delicately asked Skywalker to temporarily refrain from performing his marital duties, explaining that it could be harmful to the pregnancy. Anakin agreed, because it was this modesty that he liked most about her, not to mention, of course, her rare beauty. And so, even though he spent many nights in agony, lying next to her and not daring even to touch her, Anakin saw this as the best and truest proof of his love for his wife. He could, of course, have taken a mistress, as many others did in such situations, but Skywalker, who loved Padmé more than himself, would not even entertain the thought. But now, tormented by long abstinence, Anakin, with his whole being now burning with Sith fire, was rushing back home. Back to where his former apprentice, whom he thought of less and less as such, was sleeping peacefully. He rubbed his eyes with his palm for a long time, trying to banish her image from his memory. Her voice. Her scent. And most importantly, he couldn't get rid of the agonising jealousy he felt towards the children who had the privilege, unknown to him, of touching her.
"Master Obi-Wan, if only you were here with me now," thought Skywalker, finally sinking into a heavy, painful oblivion.
***
The next morning, Ahsoka woke up early. Luke and Leia were still asleep. After washing quickly, Tano changed into Katuni's dress, the only one she had, put on her old boots, and threw a light white cape over her shoulders, which she had taken yesterday from the chest of accessories that belonged to Padmé. She didn't touch anything else of her belongings; she wouldn't have taken the cape if she hadn't needed it. Most of Amidala's things had already been packed, much to Tano's relief. She didn't want these things to remind her of her own imperfections. Sighing heavily, Ahsoka felt the fabric of her dress clinging tightly to her. Yes, Padmé's clothes would definitely suit her better. But Anakin's obviousness and desire never coincided, and he didn't even think to offer the Togruta his late wife's wardrobe. Even Shaak Ti, who always spoke her mind directly to everyone, refrained from commenting this time, knowing in advance that they would not receive a joyful response. Sighing again, as much as her dress would allow, the Togruta hurried to the kitchen. Anakin was standing at the stove, stirring something with a spoon in a small cast-iron pot. He seemed surprised by Asoka's appearance, but he didn't think she would stay inside the whole time.
"Good morning," the girl said quietly.
Anakin returned the greeting and went back to making coffee. He didn't notice the dryness and aloofness in Ahsoka's behaviour, and she did her best to pretend that yesterday's conversation had never happened and that everything between them was the same as before. Skywalker thought that the same thing was probably happening in the other houses right now. Lovers sit in the kitchen and prepare breakfast together. Outwardly, they looked the same, but damn it, they weren't in love and never would be! And the whole situation made him even more awkward than Jar Jar Binks, the Naboo representative from the Gungan race.
"I'm going to shave," he said dryly and hurried out of the house. However, Asoka noticed how his face had darkened from the stubble that had grown noticeably over the past few days. His hair was also down to his shoulders. Anakin had never dressed like this before. But, it had to be admitted, even this slight neglect of his appearance did not seem like neglect at all, but rather a change of image that did not detract from this man's natural attractiveness.
"I'll make breakfast if you show me where the food is," Asoka managed to say, and when Anakin returned, clean-shaven and combed, he was greeted by a wonderful aroma. Tano had managed to make fried pasta with minced meat, sandwiches with cheese and sausage, and brew coffee. And it was all incredibly delicious, many times better than what Anakin himself had cooked. And even better than what Padmé had cooked for him. Amidala couldn't cook at all and didn't really want to learn, and she could never get the coffee just right. She didn't know how to achieve it because she didn't drink coffee herself, preferring tea. Anakin didn't want to admit this and therefore didn't even thank Asoka for her efforts. Breakfast was tense, and when the plate was empty, the girl silently refilled it. Skywalker ate the second helping just as calmly. When the dishes were washed and put away, Ahsoka decided to wash everything that Shaak Ti and Katuni hadn't gotten to. Living in her family home, it was not easy for Ahsoka to remain as clean as she had always been, but this was a skill that had been instilled in her at the Order. And when Shaak Ti found her and Tano terribly dirty, she regretted it more than anyone else. The children must have woken up, and their demanding squeaks forced Ahsoka to interrupt her work and enter the room.
"I'm going to check out the speeders," said Anakin, quickly leaving the house so he wouldn't have to imagine Tano feeding the twins. Asoka settled down on the bed, held the twins to her chest, and closed her eyes. This was her world. It belonged to her and no one else. So small, but so reliable and safe. No one here knew about her recent past, and no one would ever think to connect her with Robert and his corpse with its smashed skull. I wonder if they found him yet? And if they did, no one would ever guess that Asoka was here. Here she was safely hidden from all the hardships of the outside world. Outside, she could hear Anakin's voice as he talked about something with the other Jedi. Asoka always liked his pleasant voice, and the smell of machine oil, gunpowder and metal wafted in through the window. But it didn't seem unpleasant at all; on the contrary, it gave her a feeling of security and peace. When the children fell asleep, Ahsoka tidied up the cabin a little. She sorted through the twins' and Anakin's clothes, setting aside some items for washing. Then she dusted where she could and lightly wiped the floor with what was left of her tunic, dampening it with the remaining water. But now the chores were done and there was nothing else for Asoka to do in the house, and she found the idea of sitting around all day doing nothing incredibly boring. And the thought of the forest expanses of Endor, the fresh cool wind rushing at full speed into her face, suddenly pierced her mind, impatiently urging her outside, where Anakin was already finishing inspecting the transport and was about to fly off on a reconnaissance mission. Without realising what she was doing, Togruta looked outside and hesitantly touched Skywalker's shoulder, who was standing with his back to her. He flinched as if he had been struck and turned sharply, frowning and asking rather loudly:
"What do you want?
Asoka didn't like the tone of his voice. Didn't he understand that she was tired of sitting inside four walls all day? It was easy to go stir-crazy seeing the same thing day in and day out. And would it really hurt anyone if she took a little ride on a speeder?
"I'd like to... Fly with you... On a reconnaissance mission..." Her voice also sounded unusually timid, unlike her usual self. Anakin, however, said nothing, but silently nodded towards the back seat of the large flying motorcycle. Running quickly to Shaa-Tee's house, Ahsoka asked Katuni to sit with the twins. Luke and Leia were supposed to sleep for a few hours after their morning feed, which meant they wouldn't need her for a while and she could devote that time to herself. Skywalker waited for her and didn't start the engine until Tano had settled into her seat, but unfortunately, as soon as he started moving, the girl, who hadn't quite managed to sit down properly, swayed sharply towards the pilot and fell straight into his arms. Anakin froze for a few moments. And not just because of the surprise.
***
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