Somewhere in Hell.
"I'm telling you, it couldn't have just been your 'imagination'! You have to understand that yourself!" The hellhound girl, sprawled on an expensive velvet chair, irritably tapped a finger on her phone screen. She was in a rather dark but extremely lavishly furnished room, its walls covered with posters of various rock bands.
"I understand all that, Loona, but he can't be a real angel!" the owl girl replied, lying lazily on a huge bed piled with ancient, dusty tomes. She was examining something in one of the books with interest. "They're cruel, merciless killers. And they would never, ever start… let's call it a 'friendship,' with demons!"
"Argh! Fine, I give up!" the wolf growled, tossing her phone aside and throwing her hands up in despair. "There's fucking no information about demons who can just waltz into Heaven! It doesn't exist, and it never has! Maybe he's a fallen angel? Like Lucifer?" she threw out another theory, slumping back against the chair in defeat.
"Alright, you're right," Octavia sighed heavily, setting her book aside. "I just remembered something else… there were exorcists there…" she offered up her vague, fragmented memories, which she had been doubting all this time. But since the simplest and most logical option was off the table, she might as well remind her friend of this strange fact.
"No way, you were just seeing things," the hellhound immediately dismissed it. To believe that angel-exorcists, or exterminators as they were sometimes called here, could just stand there calmly and look at demons in the middle of fucking Heaven… No one, absolutely no one, would ever believe that! It just couldn't have happened!
"I wasn't seeing things!" the little owl immediately flipped onto her stomach. "There were definitely angels with black halos and in dark military uniforms! Just because you went into a berserker rage and didn't see anyone but Baal doesn't mean I did the same!"
"Ahem!" The flustered hellhound quickly averted her gaze. "I didn't go into anything! And I noticed everything perfectly fine! Stop making things up!"
"If you say so," Octavia narrowed her eyes victoriously, raising her chin with an air of importance. "But the exorcists were definitely there, I remember that perfectly!"
"Then who the fuck could Baal be? If he not only opens portals to Heaven like it's nothing, but the exorcists themselves see him bring two demonesses with him and do nothing about it?"
"Isn't that what we gathered here to find out?" Octavia sighed, casting a mournful glance at the huge pile of ancient, useless books about powerful demons. "Ugh, I'm out of ideas. Other than the thought that he's an angel after all, nothing else comes to mind." Yawning, the little bird stretched lazily on her bed, arching her back gracefully.
"Oh, so you think he's an angel?" Loona asked provocatively, covering her mouth with her hand and crossing her legs with a sly smirk.
"You!" the little owl, now red as a lobster, shot up on the bed. "You…!"
"Me!" the hellhound laughed cheerfully, which in turn elicited a cheerful laugh from the young bird as well…
"Old man, so, is everything ready?" In Heaven, in a house that looked very much like a stereotypical medieval forge, two figures were currently sitting: Sarakael, the Seraphim and Archangel responsible for all technological innovations in Heaven, and the first man, Archangel and head of all angelic legions, Adam.
"'Old man'? I'm barely older than you, 'kid'," the inventor snorted, having become much more relaxed and easygoing in his conversations with Adam lately. "But to answer your question, the first stage has already passed all the necessary checks. And everything should be fully ready by the start of your 'purges'."
"Awesome!" Adam leaned back in his chair with a satisfied look, downing a can of cold, foamy beer in one go. "You're a real brain, Sar! And what's the deal with the barrier around Earth?"
"Thanks," the Seraphim took a sip from his own can. "The barrier is fine. Michael is almost done with his main work, so I think we'll have it wrapped up this week. No more demons will be crawling to Earth."
"Oh, sweet. To be honest, I thought you'd be dragging your asses for a long time, but it turns out you're on top of it," the first man chuckled, easily crushing the empty can and tossing it towards the trash bin. However, at the last moment, it just hit the wall and fell beside it, to which Adam simply rolled his eyes and, using the Light, finally tossed it in. "Listen, is there any way to automate all those drones? The girls are spending way too much energy on that crap. I'd rather not overload them with it."
"Well… theoretically, it's possible, of course. But for something like that, you'd have to go to either Sera and Michael, or… to Lucifer," Sarakael replied, setting his empty can aside.
"Why them specifically?" Adam, meanwhile, was already opening another one. He had really taken a liking to the honey beer that George brewed. He was particularly surprised to learn that it was George who made it, and that he sometimes got an earful from his wife for drinking it, after which he was forced to urgently sell or give away the entire batch he had brewed.
"Well, they're the 'elders,' so to speak. And they talked with our Father a bit more than the rest of us, so they managed to learn a lot more of his secrets," Sarakael shrugged. "Personally, I was never interested in all that. So I mostly pestered the Father with questions about various technologies and mechanics. By the way, he personally gave me these goggles after one of my experiments blew up and almost blinded me," the Seraphim touched his goggles, which were resting on his head, with a fond smile and for a moment was lost in memories of those distant times when their Father was still with them, actively participating in the creation of this world.
"Cool," the Archangel said thoughtfully, looking with interest at Sarakael's engineering goggles. "Listen, tell me more about God," he suddenly changed the subject, causing the Seraphim to immediately snap out of his pleasant memories.
"What do you mean?" Sarakael asked, genuinely surprised. "There's already a lot of information about God. He created our universe and gave birth to us, the Seraphim. After that, he watched over this world for a long time, guiding it on the true path. And he personally intervened when the Darkness first entered our world…" the Seraphim recited all the commonly known information.
"No, I mean what he was like. I've heard about all his achievements a hundred and five hundred times, but I don't know his name, his personality, or, least of all, his past. I'm ashamed to admit it, but for a while, I didn't even really believe he existed…" Adam explained, setting his beer can aside and looking expectantly at the Seraphim.
"Oh… Well, I suppose I can reminisce a little. I doubt anyone will mind if I tell you a little about him…" Sarakael sighed and once again lost himself in his memories…
POV Adam
Yeah, visiting Sarakael was a pretty spontaneous decision. But the guy, as I had long since realized, was very level-headed. And I didn't care that he was older than me. As it turned out, the age difference between us was quite small, about twenty or thirty years, which for beings who live for millennia, didn't mean a thing.
The story of God… Hmm, let me refresh my memory of it. There were too many nuances in it to understand everything the first time around… So, first to appear was Lucifer. After him was Sera. Then Michael, Raphael, Gabriel, Sarakael, and the last was Uriel. She was a sexy lady, by the way, but that's not what we're talking about now.
Sarakael, as the second to last of all the Seraphim, appeared in an already almost finished, created world, but he managed to remember what the universe looked like outside of this creation: a black, bottomless, all-consuming Darkness. He wasn't sure if this Darkness was the same as the Darkness, but there was absolutely no Light in that incomprehensible something. At the time, God calmed the young Seraphim, telling him that "it can't harm you in any way." So personally, I think that Darkness was not Darkness in our current understanding… Fuck, it turns out it's really hard to explain all this metaphorical, philosophical bullshit…
In those distant times, this world was practically empty. God had only managed to divide it into two parts: the World of Animals and the World of Angels. After that, they all began to fill it with various life forms: animals, plants, fungi, and other, less significant, creatures. God himself took on the main work then, telling the Seraphim that they were still too weak to influence this creation with the required power. Also, they still lacked both experience and knowledge, which Sarakael himself admitted. It all took them about seven years, which doesn't quite align with the well-known concept of "seven days." But the explanation for that will come a little later.
After that, God informed them that he could no longer interfere in the affairs of this world and, after saying goodbye to everyone, he left, having first placed that very tree with the Forbidden Fruits in Eden, strictly forbidding them from eating them. It seemed like an idyll. But the Seraphim quickly realized that they had nothing to do now, and nothing was expected in the near future. And because they didn't want to alter their Father's creation, they decided to create Earth—a separate, isolated place for the Seraphim's own creations. It was not a quick process, and due to the impatience of some of the Seraphim, it was decided to create humans in advance. Just to see if it was worth it or not. And so they created me—in the image and likeness of God himself, and Lilith—in the image and likeness of the Seraphim themselves. And then there was Eve, whom they created simply by separating a small particle from me and creating a new, unique being on its basis—a human. So, it turns out that the real first human was Eve. After all, Lilith was not much different from the Seraphim themselves, and I, according to Sarakael, was not much different in nature from God himself.
Well, and then came the well-known story—the mistake of Lucifer and Lilith, the breach of Darkness into our world, the failed attempt to save Eden, and the emergency relocation of all those creatures that the Darkness had not yet managed to touch to the not-yet-ready Earth, and it took exactly 6 days, and on the seventh, the Seraphim rested… And then—long, agonizing years of working with this world of men, so that it wouldn't finally fall apart and would continue to exist peacefully. This, by the way, was the reason for their complete absence in the first decades after the fall of Eden.
Judging by Sarakael's own description, God was an all-forgiving, kind being who at the same time contained all the known virtues, which one of the Seraphim later distinguished into the so-called "seven virtues": chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility. Now, I think, it's clear why the old Adam wasn't particularly liked, because he, being a copy of God himself, was supposed to combine all of this. But, alas, that was not the case. That's how it was.
And, by the way, I finally found out why the Seraphim were the way they are. They grew up with God, who was a being who despised all conflicts, combining in himself only the best and brightest feelings, so the Seraphim, in essence, were simply trying to copy their Father. And many of them even succeeded. Though not all.
After chatting with the engineer-Seraphim for about another half hour, I said goodbye to him and went home, replaying in my head everything I had managed to achieve in just six months of my stay in this strange, but already so familiar to me, place.
Victory over my dark past. Reforms in the army of Heaven. Complete protection from sinners for my girls, by confiscating the angelic steel from Hell. New, useful connections in that very Hell, including with the Deadly Sins themselves, and what's more, with the King of Hell himself! Identifying all the traitors in Heaven. Solving the problem with Earth, albeit for now only in its initial stage. Creating my own, separate world… This question, by the way, worried me a lot. I'll have to ask Lucifer about it when I get the chance… The birth of a son. I should probably visit him, by the way. Even though we text every day, we haven't seen each other in person for almost a week.
And I managed to achieve all this in less than six months. Did I ever think something like this was even possible? Did I allow even the slightest chance that everything would go so well? No, of course not. I still distinctly remember that sticky, disgusting feeling of fear, confusion, and complete disbelief when I first arrived in this world. I remember how I was afraid of every rustle: the Seraphim, Lute, the Darkness, the Demons… Yes, I have definitely grown during this time. I have finally become myself, and though I am not that off-the-rails, insane God-Slayer, nor am I the Adam who was lost and tired of his meaningless life. But I am me. And this world needs me just the way I am. Decisive, strong, cunning, and responsible.
How many problems I have already solved, how many cases I have closed. All this is me. And I feel my duty to this place. To Heaven, and even to the world of men and Hell. This is all my new home. Not just Heaven, but everything, in general. And my main goal is to cleanse this place. To give all people a better, brighter life that they can only hope for. To make Hell a real place of redemption, where sinners can become better, and not just eternally stew in the common pot of their sins, continuing their path to the very bottom. And for those who are not interested in all this… well, the Abyss will become their new home. Forever.
I cast aside all these thoughts about the future and then land smoothly on the balcony of my house. Finally, I can spend some time with my beloved person… Or rather, angel, because yes, my Lute is a real angel, and in every sense of the word. It's just a shame that I now have to discuss a very important issue with her, and not just spend time with her, watching some silly movie, for example… Well, such is the duty of the Sword of Heaven, as I am sometimes called here…
I slide the glass door aside and enter our room. Aha, I hear the quiet sound of the TV, which means my valkyrie is now on the first floor, in the living room. I toss my jacket aside, take off my shoes, and slowly descend the stairs. Lute, indeed, was found by me on the sofa. She was eating some salad with gusto and watching some crap about love. It looked something like Twilight. But I've never watched it, so I'm not even going to guess.
"Greetings, my goddess. How are things?" I approach her from behind and, leaning down, gently kiss my exorcist on the cheek she offers me.
"Goddess?" Lute smirks, raising an eyebrow skeptically. "You're such a flatterer, my love." Now it's her turn to kiss me as I sit down on the sofa next to her.
"I'm merely stating a fact," I nod gravely, receiving another round of kisses from her. "So how are you? You had another training session today, right?"
"Yes. I don't think daily training is necessary anymore. The girls are already well-trained, and now I'll just delegate the training of all the others to them… True, because of your ideas with the drones, half of our exorcists are now only doing that," Lute hissed at the end. Playfully, of course. She understood perfectly well that this was extremely important to me, and even though the girls had to neglect their training for it now, this surveillance would also play its important role, after all, the extermination is in a couple of weeks…
"Don't hiss, kitty," I kiss my darling briefly on the top of her head, then start stroking her hair. "Actually, I wanted to consult with you on a very important topic…"
"Oh, Adam, every time, all these 'important talks' of yours start with some new bullshit that completely shatters my worldview!" Lute exclaimed, setting her plate aside.
"And they end…"
"And they always end in bed! Yes!" my valkyrie interrupts me. "Oh, alright. I'm ready to listen to you. But I swear, a couple more times, and I'll develop a real phobia of all these 'serious' talks of yours."
"Ahem, thank you," I smile at Lute's performance, then kiss her again. "So, this time I wanted to ask you: should I eat the Forbidden Fruit, or not."
"WHAT?!?"