Chapter 5: The Chunin Exams Begin (What do you mean don't kill them!?)
Time passed both far too quickly and excruciatingly slowly in the months following our mission to Wave.
On the one hand I had far too much to do, to work on, to improve on, for the short amount of time I was given. On the other hand, Bakakashi wouldn't let us take another mission that took us out of the village.
Thus relegating us to D ranks and village-centric C ranks, which I could do in my sleep. Quite literally if I wanted, Hax no Jutsu bitches. I suppose I shouldn't complain, as it did allow me to use much more of my time to improve myself than I would have been able to on other missions.
As for my training, I would call my improvement startling and impressive. I would also consider it inadequate to the tasks and challenges that I would be facing in the near future.
I was going to be facing the Snake Sannin after all, and while I was sure I could comfortably contest and survive against even the most powerful of Jonin, Orochimaru was on another level entirely.
I suppose the most obvious improvement was also the most expected, given my circumstances and the resources I had access to.
I had finally caught up to Lee, both in skill and in physicality. I would probably still give him a slight, but noticeable, edge over myself in speed, but I had far more staying power than he did.
I.E. I was a stamina freak courtesy of being the Kyuubi Jinchuriki and my Uzumaki genes. Now during training, once I wore Lee out and ran him into the ground, I moved on to sparring with Gai himself.
Needless to say he still kicked my ass, even if I was making it harder and harder on him each time. I could however go toe to toe with the Taijutsu monster, I mean master, if I used my Lightning Style Chakra Armor.
He insisted that I do so occasionally, so that I was used to fighting with it (see Zabuza for reasons why it was important), not to mention the other powerful, last resort technique he was teaching me how to activate. I was already able to use several of the levels.
However I hoped I wouldn't need to use that for a very long time, it stung like an absolute BITCH afterward. I was even developing a few surprises that I would hopefully be able to incorporate into my Goken in the relatively near future, to give it a bit of an extra punch.
When I wasn't focusing on my own physical training, I was focusing on forcing those close to me to improve themselves. Anko seemed to take a sick sort of Sado-Masochistic pleasure in joining my training with the Bushy-Brows, torturing them (and me) with her wicked and 'UNYOUTHFUL' ways in between driving her body into the dirt through intense sparring and insane exercises.
However Anko wasn't the only one who trained with my green spandex wearing friends, the usual crew of Hinata, Tenten, and Ino had kept at it when I was in Wave and worked even harder after my return.
I didn't know if it was the rumors circulating about my defeat of Zabuza, or the fact that I was driving myself even harder than previously and was slowly overtaking even Lee in his chosen specialty, that spurred them on.
That Lee's own weights were only 500 more pounds each leg than my own weights may have also had something to do with it. After all, being left in the dust of someone wearing 12,000 pounds on each of his legs is a bit embarrassing when it's not Lee or Guy.
A side note was that I had switched from traditional weights to my newly developed resistance seals, as they were much easier to divest myself of quickly in the face of danger and much less trouble to store.
Regardless it encouraged them to reach higher and grow stronger, so I didn't think about it too much.
I had more important things on my mind.
The girls weren't the only ones that I roped into training with me. Iruka-sensei had happily come to one of our training sessions at my invitation and then immediately decided that he would train with me after I met up with my team instead of with the 'YOUTHFUL' crew, whenever he was free to do so.
I couldn't blame him after he had been made to sweat blood and had been subjected to the Sunset Genjutsu of Doom under the instruction of Gai-sensei.
I think I almost broke my former sensei when I defeated him effortlessly, not even having to use anything besides Taijutsu to force him to surrender. He was, however, much more willing and enthusiastic about training with me after that.
Well the fact that Anko would also show up at those times may have helped influence his decision. As she would often remove her trench coat so that I didn't ruin it when I was throwing her around.
Iruka-sensei was a closet pervert, just like in the show. I don't know why, but I was strangely disappointed and angry when he ogled her mesh-covered breasts before disappearing in a massive spurt of blood.
I couldn't be getting possessive of Anko could I? Surely not, that would be insane. But as irritating as that was, it was also off topic.
Speaking of Anko, it was her, or rather her friend that helped me the most with another part of my training. A certain ANBU kitty, Neko, also known as, Uzuki Yugao took up the mantle of my Kenjutsu sensei. Granted she mostly taught my clones in her free time, only so that I could be training myself into the dirt at the same time. So while I progressed quickly, I wouldn't be calling myself a master unless I got a few weeks of dedicated instruction and time to use Hax no Jutsu to make everything muscle memory.
As for Ninjutsu training, that was handled mostly through Iruka, self-experimentation with the help of stolen, I mean borrowed scrolls, and surprisingly enough, Jiji.
It seems that with the knowledge and use of shadow clones in his battle against paperwork, Hiruzen had stepped his training up. He stated that just because he was old didn't mean there was a reason for him to let his skills decline further than his advancing age necessitated.
True, he couldn't train with me too often, but every time he was able to was an extremely productive and informative day. He wasn't called the Professor for no reason after all.
Some might wonder why I didn't mention Bakakashi, or why he wasn't the one to teach me anything. Especially after he taught me the Chidori, his original Jutsu. The answer was simple. He didn't want to be anywhere near me.
When we returned to Konoha he had acted distantly to me, only talking to me if he had to address the group. Surprisingly he had started to take training the others in our team more seriously, and had taken some, not much, but some time to teach Sasuke and Sakura more Taijutsu and to spar with them.
He had also gone about helping Sasuke get used to his new eyes, and master more of his clan's fire Jutsu. For Sakura he helped her come up with a training regimen that she could follow on her own to improve her level of fitness and general combat readiness, and gave her a few scrolls on simple Genjutsu and basic, low-level Ninjutsu.
I had hoped that Sasuke would come to me and that we could train together to form a 'bond', but it was not to be. Oh he had come to me, but not to train and not to 'bond'. He had shown up to one of our team meetings one day and demanded that I teach him how to use both the Rasengan and the Lightning Style Chakra Armor.
Naturally I had refused, telling him that he wasn't capable of using either effectively at the moment. He didn't have enough chakra to use the Rasengan more than once or twice, and his body was far too fragile for the Lightning Style Chakra Armor to do more than tear it apart when he used it.
He didn't take that well, and went off on a rant about his need for power and how much more he deserved it than a Dobe like me. I had then proposed a spar, where I wouldn't use either of those techniques, with the condition that if he could defeat me then I would teach him both of them.
He had still not forgiven me for defeating him so absolutely with just Taijutsu and the Kawarimi. I hadn't even had to use shadow clones, to be honest it was pathetic how desperate and obsessed he was with power.
I had told him as much with my foot to his neck as I pushed his face into the grass below. As my luck would have it, Kakashi had showed up just then. A pointless conversation about teamwork later and he had pulled me aside.
Flashback no Jutsu
"I've given you plenty of time Naruto, but I can't keep waiting. Where did you learn that technique?" My personal, cycloptic Jonin asked me with a serious tone.
"I'm sorry Bakakashi-sensei, but you'll have to be a bit more specific." I affected a baffled expression and shrugged helplessly.
Narrowing his eye in annoyance, the son of the White-Fang growled his displeasure. "You know exactly what I mean. The technique you used to ki-defeat Zabuza, the Raikage's Chakra Armor. Where did you learn about it and how did you learn it? You shouldn't know a Jutsu like that, much less be able to use it. You were the dead last of your class, only graduating due to a fluke. It's impossible that you could have come so far without someone helping you. So I'm giving you one chance to tell me where you learned it."
I stared stonily at Kakashi, not liking his tone or his insinuations the slightest bit. "Perhaps it was just that once I became a shinobi I didn't have anyone to intentionally hold me back. Perhaps it was the fact that the Shadow Clone Jutsu is perfectly suited to me, and someone in my special situation. Perhaps I am simply my parents' child after all."
The silver-haired Jonin looked stricken at that, but I had one last barb to aim his way. Maybe I was being cruel, but I had decided to take the kiddie gloves off. I simply didn't have the time for anything else but the most direct path to my goal, and my goal here was to snap Kakashi back into shape.
"Maybe if my Tou-san had had a student," I began and Kakashi physically flinched at my faux innocent tone. "Maybe if there was someone who could have been there for me and taken care of me, or even just tried to help me along and shown that I was cared for then I wouldn't have lived the life I did. Maybe then I wouldn't have been the 'dead last', the Dobe. Maybe if this hypothetical student of my Tou-san hadn't been so selfish and self-absorbed he could have made a difference in his Sensei's child's life. However he was too busy wasting away mourning the dead and drowning in self-recrimination to help the living."
I turned my back on him and began to walk away, casually throwing my last words over my shoulder. "Sounds to me that a person like that shouldn't exist, let alone cast stones when they stand in a house made of cracked glass. And I learned it on my own. I pieced it together through reports on the encounter the 4th had with the current Raikage and the next step of making the logical connection between lightning natured chakra and the electricity that powers the human nervous system."
I didn't see as Kakashi collapsed to his knees under the weight of my words and his failures as he watched me walk away from him without once looking back.
End Flashback no Jutsu
So, back to the topic of Jiji, it was with his help that I was already on my third elemental chakra affinity. Due to the almost wholly offensive nature of my other two chakra types, I had decided to focus on a defensive chakra nature, leading me to water natured chakra.
I couldn't really tell if learning and mastering chakra natures was getting more difficult due to my tendency to train them by spamming hundreds of shadow clones to do the work for me.
I had however added several defensive natured Jutsu to my arsenal. Kirigakure no Jutsu (Hiding in the Mist), Water Formation Wall, and Water Prison Technique to name a few of the most notable of the ones I had learned.
Dojutsu users eat your heart out! I now had the counter to your OP bullshit. Conveniently forget about my own OP bullshit please, thank you.
I had several more Jutsu waiting in my pocket, but there was no reason to go into them at the moment, as most were just more advanced versions of what I already knew before.
Now while I had made extremely impressive, if I don't say so myself, strides in other areas of my training, it was in Fuinjutsu that I had improved the most.
I suppose it was bound to happen when taking my Uzumaki heritage, the obscene amount of money I now had for supplies, courtesy of Gato, and hundreds of shadow clones dedicated to the sole task of advancing my skill, working tirelessly each and every day for months.
Even with the several years' worth of work my clones had put in, I was still shocked at the progress I had made. Before leaving for the Wave mission I would conservatively rank myself as a level 3 or 4 out of 12 in Fuinjutsu (using the Uzumaki standard). Now I could definitely say that I had improved by incredible, chakra-fuelled leaps and bounds.
I could safely say that I was at least a level 8, and steadily closing in on level 9. However that was only for the generalities of Fuinjutsu, for my areas of particular interest I would say I was nearing level 11.
Now you might say, 'Naruto, how could you possibly be a level 8 and yet be a level 11?' To that I would say, 'it's because I'm Naruto and an Uzumaki that I can do whatever I put my mind to –'ttebayo!'
FUCK! I hate that stupid tick! Deep breaths…back on topic.
The true reason was that while the general knowledge of sealing was needed for me to advance my application of Fuinjutsu, it wasn't needed over much in the two special interests I held.
The first was obviously Curse Seals and ways to mitigate or remove them and their effects without harming the person afflicted with the Seal. The second should be pretty obvious if you consider who my mother was and what she was known for besides the red hair and Kenjutsu.
Yes, I was interested in none other than the Adamantine Sealing Chains. Now some might say that I had no chance of getting those, as a Kekkei Genkai produced them. Right?
Wrong!
They were a product of…you guessed it. Fuinjutsu!
Fuinjutsu used and known exclusively by the Uzumaki clan, but really I had years compressed down into months to figure out how to use them. I was still in the beginning stages, but I had already managed something similar to what Karin could do later on in the series. And I would only improve with time.
Some might ask why I wasn't working on the Hiraishin, or the Flying Thunder God Technique. To that I say, you can't have it all…yet. Also it's flippin' difficult, so that'll come once I'm more advanced, hopefully during my training trip, and I will be able to compete with it anyway using the Lightning Style Chakra Armor, once I train my body up enough to match the Raikage or Gai and grow some more.
That acts as a perfect segue way and leads me to my final area of advancement covered by my training. I had made contact with Kurama.
I won't bore anyone with the particulars, as anyone who might be reading this in whatever alternate universe in which my life is a shitty fanfiction has probably read quite a bit of Naruto flavored fanfiction.
So suffice it to say that is went something like this.
Kurama tried to lure me through the bars of the cage. I refused.
Kurama tried to get me to take off the seal. I refused.
Kurama threatened me. I tried to make nice.
Kurama laughed at me and called me a 'ningen'. I called him Kyuubi-san.
I changed my mindscape from a sewer into a mountain close by a forest and made his prison into a giant cave inside the mountain, but allowed him fresh air, sunlight, and other amenities.
Kurama agreed to 'lend' me his chakra whenever I wanted or needed it. I thanked him and expressed my wish for us to be friends one day.
Kurama got mad at the idea of being friends with a 'ningen' let alone his jailor, and kicked me out.
Sound familiar and boring? Good, it was more than slightly terrifying and incredibly intense in the moment.
It's incredible to think that he is only half of what was sealed into my ancestors. The thought of his original power makes me shudder in a mix of excitement and anxiety, not quite fear.
As I thought over all of my progress over the recent months I made my way towards the Hokage Tower to meet with my number one minion.
I had noticed the influx of foreign shinobi in recent days and was expecting Kakashi to drop the bomb on us any day now. Anko making unsubtle hints about something fun happening soon was also a big clue.
I had taken a rare day off, though I was still using hundreds of shadow clones to train, to goof around with Konohamaru and his little crew of pipsqueaks today in order to de-stress and rest myself before the action started, but when the situation quickly devolved into the kid running from Sakura I recognized the progression of events.
Huh, seemed like canon events had a way of happening with or without my input unless I went out of my way to change things drastically. I wonder if it was actually Fate, or if it was just Kishimoto messing with me again. Damn him to HELL!
I quickly followed the two troublemakers and came upon Kankuro threatening my unofficial disciple and Sakura, shockingly, had a kunai out and was in a reasonably well-formed stance.
"Hey now, no need to manhandle my pipsqueak." I drawled as I appeared behind the Sand-Nin with a perfectly executed Shunshin, seeming as if I had just teleported there, while grabbing Kankuro's hand and twisting it just enough to force him to let go of Konohamaru.
"You're in trouble now, Boss is here! He's one of the strongest ninjas I know, so you better apologize!" Apparently feeling secure in his perceived superiority now that I was there to protect him, Konohamaru began talking a big game.
Shunshin-ing once again I appeared behind the munchkin and gently chopped his head, causing him to crouch down, with tears in the corners of his eyes, and grab the giant lump I had raised on his head.
"If you run into someone when you aren't looking then you should apologize, munchkin." I order-told, excuse my slip, my minion with a scary-kind, excuse me, smile on my face.
"H-hai Boss." He stuttered before bowing to the Sand-Nin. "Sorry for running into you!" He then turned to me for approval.
I gave him a nod and sent him on his way with a gentle, discreet push and a serious look. Taking the hint he made himself scarce.
Turning back to the foreign-Nin I eye-smiled at them. "Ah, sorry about him. He can be a bit immature and exuberant, but he's a good kid. Grandson to the Hokage if you were wondering." I slipped in that tidbit to discourage retribution and the way Kankuro went white under his makeup (it's WARPAINT!) told me I'd scored a direct hit.
"Well allow me to welcome our allies from Sand to Konoha." I offered as cheerfully as I could before taking Temari's hand and placing a masked-kiss on the back of it, causing her to blush prettily while raising an eyebrow at me. "Might I have the pleasure of knowing the name of such a beautiful desert flower?"
"I am Sabaku no Temari, this idiot is my brother Kankuro." The offended protest offered by the cat suit wearing freak was ignored.
"And the one up in the tree over there?" I inquired about Gaara, having known he was in the tree not just due to my knowledge of the series, but also because my sensor abilities had grown along with the rest of my skills and easily allowed me to detect him and his ever-present bloodlust.
With a Sand Shunshin, Gaara was suddenly standing next to us. "G-Gaara!" Both of his siblings managed to force out.
Gaara's dead eyes flicked over his siblings emotionlessly. "Kankuro, you're an embarrassment. Act out again and I'll kill you."
With a shudder of fear Kankuro hurriedly nodded his head. "R-right. No need to worry, I won't do it again. It was just a misunderstanding."
"Yep, all a misunderstanding between allied shinobi. Water…or sand in this case, I suppose, under the bridge!" I offered with another eye-smile, getting another blush out of Temari. "So, Sabaku no Gaara, I guess?"
I offered Gaara my hand to shake as he stared at me without taking it. "What is your name?" That unpleasant, dead sounding voice came again.
"AH, apologies! I really should have introduced myself first. The name is Uzumaki Naruto." I grinned at him and Kankuro before throwing a wink to Temari. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance.
"Uzumaki Naruto? As in the Golden Storm of Konoha? You're in the BINGO books! Did you really kill Momochi Zabuza? I didn't know you were so young!" Temari gushed with wide eyes as Sakura stiffened behind me.
"The one and only!" I beamed. "Am I really? I assume for Mist as they're the only place that might be upset over losing this." I jiggled the handle of my blade for emphasis. "I'll have to look myself up and see how accurate the info is. And yes I did kill the Demon of the Mist." I finally acknowledged her main question.
Temari seemed speechless as she stood and gaped at me, even Kankuro was reassessing me. Gaara however seemed slightly excited. "Uzumaki Naruto, I will kill you and prove my existence. Come Kankuro, Temari, we're leaving." With that he left in a Sand Shunshin.
Kankuro followed after him without a word, but Temari threw me a wave and a coy smile before she followed her siblings.
With a nod to Sakura I went my own way, the Exams were fast approaching and I needed to put together my supplies and prepare the battleground as best I could.
It was a few days later when it happened, Kakashi delivered the form at a team meeting that he was obviously late to.
As per usual these days, I showed up nearly 3 hours after the assigned time to meet. Kakashi had not yet arrived, but Sasuke and Sakura were there and seemed to have been for a while. I still didn't understand why they bothered to show up on time after all this time, and people called me the Dobe.
Upon my arrival Sasuke glared at me for a moment before nodding his greeting with grudging respect. After Wave and especially after I had easily beaten him down despite his vaunted Sharingan and fire Ninjutsu, without the use of more than a Kawarimi, the Uchiha had started to treat me with sullen and reluctant respect.
He had also made great strides towards becoming stronger, not as much as myself, but impressive nonetheless. And he was certainly far stronger now than he was in the canon timeline, thanks to pushing himself to catch up to me and dedicated training from Kakashi.
Sakura gave me a timid nod before returning to whatever scroll she had taken to reading as she waited. Now there was someone who had come a long way in these months. I'm not saying that she was strong, or even necessarily good for our age group, I could only compare her to my training group and they all worked much harder to improve than she did, but she was no longer the worthless girl she had been not long ago.
It seemed that my words before the Wave mission, her uselessness during said mission, and the knowledge of the vast difference in even her level and Sasuke's, let alone mine, was enough for her to begin to train much more seriously. She was an upper-tier Genin these days and might not be such a liability to us in the upcoming Exams.
Although she was still the weak link and definitely wasn't ready to be promoted to Chunin. But hey, Sasuke was certainly strong enough to be a Chunin, and he wasn't ready to be one any more than she was. It took more than just strength or knowledge alone to make Chunin. It took strength, skill, knowledge, guts, and leadership in order to earn the right for promotion.
Popping a squat by them after I returned their greetings, I pulled out my own level 9 sealing book and buried my nose in it to review my notes. Things had certainly changed from before Wave, not the least being me.
I had already been tall for my age at that point and I had only gotten taller, much to Anko's and other women's joy, according to her. That was without mentioning the effects all the Taijutsu training I endured had on my physique.
I had shot up again in these few months by another 1.5 inches, leaving me at about 5' 7". It was looking like I might be giving Jiraya a run for his money in a few years with the way I was growing. I now looked down on all of my age group by at least 3-4 inches, and I thoroughly enjoyed having a more developed body again, but not as much as Anko seemed to enjoy it. I don't know whether to shudder in fear at that thought or celebrate…
I caught villagers starting in surprise at my looks when they weren't paying attention. If I showed up suddenly, they would exclaim "Yandaime-sama!" only to realize that it was I and not the 4th. They would habitually scowl at me before freezing and looking me over more closely before growing confused or thoughtful depending on the person.
I was grateful that I had taken to wearing my mask so early, because everyone was used to seeing me with it on and so couldn't really remember or tell what my face looked like.
To put it simply, I was a clone of the 4th with whisker marks. I even wore my hair long and shaggy like him, except longer and in a spiky ponytail, but that was more for aesthetics and the hope that I would learn Jiraya's hair Jutsu at some point.
I still hadn't seen any results of having Sasuke pour his chakra into me and taking in his cells from his blood, other than that my chakra seemed slightly easier to control and was slightly more potent.
Before I could drift too far into my thoughts Kakashi showed up. No one mentioned him being late. I was so relieved when we finally broke Sakura of her habit of echolocation, AKA the banshee shriek attack. True it was a devastating weapon, but friendly fire is discouraged. However Kakashi looked slightly depressed that no one gave him an opening to use his lame excuses.
"Well, I've got good news for you my dear Genin!" Kakashi eye-smiled at us, trying to sound enthusiastic and happy without coming off as filled with anticipation at our potential failure in the tasks ahead.
"Let me guess, you put our names forward for the Chunin Exams?" I 'guessed' in a deadpan voice.
Sagging slightly Kakashi glanced at me before looking away and muttering just loud enough for us to hear him. "You take all the fun out of being a Jonin-Sensei."
In a louder and slightly less chipper voice than before he continued. "Yes, as Naruto guessed I put you forward for the Chunin Exams. I have faith that you all are strong enough to do as well as anyone else your age and come out the other side better than you went in!"
Note that he said nothing about actually succeeding. "However it is your choice whether you go or not. If you decide to accept then simply sign these forms and bring them with you to the room 301 at the Academy in a week's time."
With that our sensei handed each of us a form before making an excuse about us needing time to think so training was cancelled for the day.
While my teammates grumbled, this worked perfectly for me. My survival kit was fully packed and I had been prepping the Forest of Death with traps and surprises for over a week now. Another week of preparation would only serve me well.
After coming to an agreement to meet back there a week from now if we were going to join, so that we could go together, I left to make use of my final week of preparations.
Maybe I would be ready for Orochimaru…maybe.
The week passed quickly, my time was spent training as usual. Anko, however, became a constant staple by my side.
My days went something like this:
Wake up in my not-so-crappy-anymore apartment (money, clones, and Fuinjutsu can do a lot), which was covered in new defensive seals and traps, and free Anko from a trap or seal.
Make breakfast for the two of us, go train with Lee and Gai.
Carry Anko back to her place so she could shower, as she would insist that she was too tired to walk, turn down her offer to shower together, go shower at my apartment.
Go to my team meeting, train and take a ridiculously easy mission. Head to my training ground, and get ambushed by Anko as soon as I arrived.
Spar with Anko, defeat Anko and make her pout and whine. Suppress desire to kiss the pout off her lips, go into denial about my growing feelings towards her. Rationalize through the excuse of puberty.
Continuously drop hints about what a good idea it would be to have a few squads of ANBU patrolling or watching the Forest of Death during the Exams, incase something goes epically wrong or some other Village's ninja try to pull something.
Buy Anko dango, 'coincidentally' run into the girls who are totally not spying on us, Ino, Tenten, and Hinata, at random times.
Talk to Jiji about upping security for the Exams as a show of strength to the other Villages, and to prove that the Leaf was fully recovered, even if we weren't.
Take Anko to dinner at my place or Ichiraku Ramen. Whenever we saw Kurenai, Anko would hurriedly pull me away and flee from the crimson-eyed beauty.
It was like that that my days passed.
Oh did I forget the hundreds of shadow clones that were training around the clock, or the dozens that were turning the Forest of Death into my own version of Genin Hell?
Must have forgotten to mention that…oops?
When the day of the Exams came, I was glad to see my teammates walking towards me where I waited at our meeting spot.
Jumping down from the tree I had been lounging in I nodded at both of them and without a word headed towards the Academy.
As we walked I noticed Sasuke sending me speculative glances, as if weighing the benefits of making nice with me during the Exams, as I was the strongest out of us.
He seemed to have come to a decision as he called out to me. "Dobe."
"Hmm? I don't know anyone of that name around here. You see someone you know?" I asked the Uchiha innocently.
A tick mark appeared on his head before he took a deep, calming breath. "Uzumaki. We may not get along, but you are strong and I know you won't hold me back. Therefore we should work together during these exams to get promoted."
"Sure thing Sasuke, I've never had any bones about working with you. Lets do our best whatever comes. You too Sakura." I eye-smiled at them happily, before continuing to walk towards our destination.
"Hn." Was Sasuke's only response, but I detected satisfaction in the grunt.
Sakura knew that she had come a long way towards becoming an actual kunoichi, and most of that could be laid at Naruto's feet. He had really changed since the Academy. It was like he wasn't even the same person anymore.
Her eyes flicked back and forth between her two teammates, both of them were strong, much stronger than her. However she wasn't just baggage anymore, she could help both of them without weighing them down.
That was the reason that she had actually signed the form. She didn't want to always be a hindrance for her team, she wanted to stand on equal footing with them, and she knew that her team was stronger than any other Genin that would show up.
That alone gave her the confidence to apply for the exams, even if she knew that she was nowhere near ready to become a Chunin. If she was honest with herself, and that was hard with Inner Sakura yelling in her head, she didn't really think that Sasuke was ready either. Her crush wouldn't be able to lead a team that he only considered a liability and was more likely to disregard than to work with.
She hoped that they would make it through the Exams and come out the other side stronger and if possible, closer than they were when they went in.
"Ignore the Genjutsu." I ordered my team just before we entered, getting inquisitive looks from both of them.
They understood what I meant a few moments later as we came upon the second floor and the often-repeated (in fanfiction) scene of Kotetsu and Izumo acting under Henges to prevent some applicants from entering the room (201 under a Genjutsu to look like 301). Without stopping or giving Sasuke a chance to out the Genjutsu and allow even more people a chance I made my way to the stairs shooting a wink to Tenten as I saw her in the crowd.
We were stopped several moments later as a green missile imposed itself in front of Sakura.
Lee, for it could be no one else, gently cupped one of her hands and YOUTHFULLY declared his intentions towards the Pink Banshee. "You are Haruno Sakura, correct? I am Rock Lee, the Second Green Beast of Konoha. Please go out with me, I will protect you with my life!" The second green beast struck a 'nice guy' pose and his teeth flashed 'manfully' as he spat out his line.
I couldn't help but face palm at my friend's display.
"Ummm…sorry, no thanks. I already have someone I like." Sakura replied kindly, her eyes darting over to where Sasuke and I stood waiting.
Lee collapsed in agony and despair at the rejection, wailing about how he would punish himself with training for his failure.
"Lee, get over it. Maybe if you do well in the Exams and impress her she will change her mind." I halfheartedly offered consolation to the spandex-clad kid.
"YOSH! You are right Naruto-san, I must fan my FLAMES OF YOUTH and do well to impress her and show her my strength!" Came the over exuberant reply.
"Yeah…you do that Lee." I offered weakly, still thrown off by the declarations of YOUTH at overly loud volumes.
Turning on a dime, Lee appeared in front of Sasuke. "You must be Uchiha Sasuke, Naruto-san's other teammate."
"Hn." That was the expected response, and the one he gave.
"I am Rock Lee, fight me." Lee was starting to wear on my nerves. I was already on edge because I knew Orochimaru would be around and I just wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.
"Hmph, you know who I am and you still want to fight me? Foolish." The arrogant asshole replied. NO, I wasn't talking about myself! I meant Sasuke.
Taking a hold of both Sasuke and Sakura I began to drag them towards the waiting room. "Save your strength for the Chunin Exams and the challenges ahead. Fight your allies later when your promotion does not rest on your performance in the next few hours."
I left behind a gaping Lee, he was not able to comprehend someone rejecting a direct challenge and his brain had overloaded with the double load of rejections he had received in as many minutes.
I only let them go when we approached room 301 and saw Kakashi-sensei there.
I flapped my hand dismissively at him. "Yeah, yeah. We could only enter as a team and you didn't want Sasuke or me to pressure Sakura into coming if she didn't feel she was ready. You have faith in us, blah blah blah."
"You really do ruin everything for me don't you?" Our sensei asked as he hung his head in depression as clouds began to form and storm over him.
"Yep, it's a gift. However it was a good idea, maybe you can actually be a decent sensei if you work at it." I threw my father's student a bone as I walked passed him and into the room beyond.
When everyone turned to look at us Sasuke looked back uncaringly, and Sakura only jumped slightly before steeling her nerve. I just looked around for people I recognized, unconcerned with the rabble.
"Sasuke-kun, Naru-kun! You guys are here too?" A blonde projectile impacted my back and I felt a subtle squish, hinting at my assailant's sex and developing assets.
"Ino-chan, good to see you, even if I did just see you two days ago. Yeah we were entered too. Are the rest of our Academy class here too?" I was slightly surprised that Ino had jumped on my back instead of Sasuke's, but didn't give it too much thought as I had other things on my mind.
"Ino-Pig get off of…Naruto?" I could feel Sakura's confusion that Ino was latched onto me and not Sasuke, as was her usual routine.
"Oh come off it Forehead. What do you care if I want to hug Naru-kun? Sasuke-kun doesn't like getting touched too much anyway." Ino explained away her actions with a dismissive flap of her hand and an imperceptible blush.
"Naru-kun?" Sakura muttered to herself in confusion.
"Troublesome. You guys are here too?" Shikamaru asked rhetorically as he and the rest of the Rookie 9 approached us.
"Yo, Shika. Of course we're here, we couldn't have Konoha's only decent male representation be someone too lazy to actually fight." I joked with the pineapple-haired boy.
"This is going to go downhill fast, troublesome blond(e)s. First you put the fire into Asuma-sensei to train us, then you do the same for Ino. I can hardly find time to watch clouds or play shogi these days." The lazy genius complained, prompting me to laugh at his misfortune. However his eyes were sharp as they roved my form, taking it all in and processing all of the changes in that scary-smart head of his.
"Hey there Hinata-chan, Shino-san, Choji, Kiba, how's everyone doing?" I asked politely, smiling at Hinata and giving her a small hug. Of course this caused her face to turn red and her head to begin to steam, but she managed to stay conscious this time, so that was improvement.
"H-hi Naruto-kun." The lavender-eyed girl managed to reply softly. I caught Ino puffing out her cheeks in annoyance from the corner of my eye and threw her a wink, causing her to blush and look away.
"Yo Dobe, acting like you're hot stuff these days aren't you!?" The dog just had to bark, and Kiba hadn't been properly housebroken yet it seemed. He seemed to be under the impression that he had peed on Hinata and so she was his, when really it was I who had peed on her! Metaphorically of course, I'm not an animal or an Inuzuka.
Before I could respond I felt an approaching presence and Kabuto made himself known. "You guys should keep it down, you're drawing attention to yourselves." Looking up everyone around me noticed the attention of the rest of the ninja focused our way and KI being directed towards us.
Most of my 'friends' wilted under the combined weight of the Chunin hopefuls' KI, but I simply scoffed and ratcheted up my own in return as I loosened my sword in its sheath.
Suddenly the other Villages' Genin began to collapse, starting with those closest to me. Kiba was affected similarly, but the rest of the Rookie 9 felt as if they were being wrapped in a warm blanket or hug and made to be perfectly safe.
I was not being vindictive. A dog must have its nose rubbed into its mess and be scolded to learn better. Also he had to realize that it was my pee on Hinata! Metaphorically.
Looking around confusedly, they quickly realized that the feeling was coming from me. Just as they came to that realization, I let go of my KI and as quickly as it had come it was gone.
The foreign Genin, who had just experienced the feeling of inevitable death, scrambled to get as far from me as possible and did their utmost not to so much as look in my direction.
I turned back to the group of Konoha-nin with an eye-smile. "You were saying Kabuto-san?" Blatantly ignoring the gasping form of Kiba on the floor, the slight smell of urine that would be unnoticeable to most people coming from said Inuzuka, and the fact that I had put him there.
"Y-you know who I am?" Kabuto looked shaken from what he had just experienced. He probably didn't know how much I had improved since graduating the Academy, even if I was in the BINGO books now there couldn't be all that much information on me available. After all reading that the 'deadlast' of a class had killed an A rank ninja and experiencing that former deadlast's power, which surpassed your own, first hand, were very different things.
"Well yeah, I try to know as much as I can about the people I might be working with or against." I left my response vague and simply offered another eye-smile.
"S-sure. I was going to offer you guys some information on the competition. Us Leaf shinobi have to stick together and I am a veteran of the Chunin Exams after all." The white-haired traitor to the Leaf offered in a kind tone.
"A veteran? How many times have you taken them?" Ino asked inquisitively, wondering if the exams were harder than she thought or if this glasses-guy just sucked.
"7 times…but this time is definitely the one where I pass!" Kabuto enthused. Man the guy was a great actor; I would totally have bought it if I didn't know better. "So is there anyone you want to know about? I have quite a bit of info on the contestants on my…Ninja Info Cards." He pulled out a deck of unusual cards as he offered in a dramatic voice.
"Sabaku no Gaara." I said immediately, wanting to warn my fellow Leaf-nin off of attacking the Jinchuriki while trying to suppress my need to laugh as the HMVs about this scene played on repeat in my head.
"So you know his name already, that's no fun." Looking through the deck Kabuto pulled out the appropriate card. "Not much info on him besides that he's been on 17 D rank, 29 C rank and look at that 1 B rank mission. The crazy thing is that apparently he has never been so much as touched on any of those missions."
"What you don't have is that he can freely manipulate sand, which autonomously acts to defend him, is a complete psychopath, and has an extremely high amount of chakra, as in Jonin amounts of chakra." I offered to him with a careless shrug. Everyone around me gaped for a second before Sasuke asked for more cards.
"Rock Lee and…Uzumaki Naruto." The emo avenger demanded the information.
"Well let's see here. Rock Lee was the 'deadlast' of last years Academy class because of a genetic defect that prevents him from molding chakra beyond the absolute basics. Apparently he is a Taijutsu prodigy though, and has been on 86 D rank and 42 C rank missions. As for Naruto-kun…" He trailed off and looked at me questioningly, I simply eye-smiled at him.
"Well Naruto-kun also graduated as the 'deadlast' of his class, but its been speculated that that was because the teachers intentionally held him back and taught him incorrectly, or because he simply chose the position. He's in the BINGO book for killing Momochi Zabuza, the Demon of the Mist, an A rank Missing-Nin and looting the sword, Kubikiribocho from his corpse. He's currently got a 15-million ryo bounty and is ranked as a B rank Nin, although not much other info was included. From what I know he's got an absurd amount of chakra, easily 3 to 4 times an average Jonin if not more, and his Taijustu is good enough to compete with not only Rock Lee, but also one of the premiere Taijutsu experts of the Leaf, Maito Gai. He's been on 168 D rank, 18 C rank, 1 B rank, and 1 A rank mission." Kabuto finished with awe in his voice and I couldn't tell if it was real or fake.
"Aww shucks, you'll make me blush if you praise me too much!" I quipped with an eye-smile and a faint, pink blush as everyone starred at me as if I had grown another head. I was, however keeping my senses sharp for the Sound-Nin that I was expecting to attack.
"How have you gone on so many more missions than everyone else Naruto?" Sakura asked me quietly.
"Secret!" I winked playfully at her, causing her to smile gently in acceptance.
Ino and Hinata had nodded along to the latter half of the information on me with slight blushes on their faces. Although Ino started to drool a bit as she mumbled about muscles and extendable tongues, Hinata joined Kiba on the floor at that point after reaching unbearable internal temperatures.
"If that's all you want to know about individuals, then I'd recommend you avoid the Nin from Suna and Kumo. There are some from a new Village called Oto, but it's a smalltime Village so it's unlikely that they sent anyone really strong." Kabuto gave the line to entice Dosu into attacking him and so cement our trust in him.
"You hear that, he called us smalltime. I think we should show the weakling just how smalltime we really are." Came Dosu's expected response as he launched himself towards Kabuto, who flung himself away.
As soon as Dosu began to move I had already made mine. His gauntlet, and main weapon, was shattered instantly as I cut his hand off at the wrist and proceeded to hit him with the Executioner's Blade like a baseball bat. He went flying with a scream of agony as I casually leaned upon my giant blade.
"You think you can come into the very heart of the Leaf and assault a Leaf shinobi from behind? You're lucky all I took was your hand, your Kage will surely be most displeased with you." My KI was back again and more intense than ever, but it was mostly focused on the Oto-Nin. I had to raise my voice slightly to be heard over the pained screams coming from Dosu.
People were staring at me like they had suddenly realized that they were standing next to a viper and had no idea what to do but to freeze and hope it left them alone. No one besides Kabuto, Sasuke, Neji, Gaara, and Lee, had even seen me move, and I still had my resistance seals on.
"Next one to attack a Leaf shinobi in front of me dies." I announced to the room before re-sheathing my sword and turning back to the Rookie 9, all of who were looking at me in a mix of fear, shock, and awe.
Okay Ino was looking at me with a bit of lust, but that was just Ino embracing her, thankfully diminished, fangirl nature. Seeing Temari I waved at her at her with an eye-smile, she hesitantly waved back.
"All right you lot, settle down!" The instructor, Morino Ibiki arrived to find almost all of the non Konoha shinobi cowering, the Leaf shinobi staring at the tall blond in their ranks as if he was insane and very cool, and the team of Oto-Nin trying to stem the bleeding from one of their member's stump, which he was sure used to have a hand attached to it. "What the bloody hell happened here?" Somehow he knew this was Mitarashi's fault.
Somewhere in Konoha, Anko sneezed and threatened to eviscerate whomever was talking about her as she worked on a totally badass banner and thought about how she would make her entrance once the gakis were done with the first part of the Exam. She wanted to make sure she made a suitable impression on all of them and impressed Blondie-kun.
She giggled perversely as a wonderful idea struck her. Blondie-kun would love it!
I shivered for some unexplained reason. It definitely wasn't because Ibiki was glaring at me as if he could set me on fire with his eyes. Sorry bud you need the Mangekyo Sharingan for that trick.
Once the medics had carted Dosu off to attempt to reattach his hand, Ibiki had tried to question me. I had simply responded that I was protecting a fellow shinobi of Konoha from an unprovoked attack and that whatever consequences were brought by that attack rested solely on the aggressor, namely Dosu.
It was hard to argue with logic like that, especially when no one disputed that Dosu had indeed been the one to attack unprovoked. I had just responded with greater force, nothing could be done about it.
And so the test had continued on unabated.
"This exam has a few important rules, if you break them you're out so listen up! The first rule is simple enough, you all start off with 10 points, and the written exam has 10 questions. Each question on the exam is worth one point, however we are working on a point reduction system. That means that if you get a question wrong, you lose a point from the 10 you start with. The second rule is that your team's total score will determine whether you pass or fail." Ibiki was interrupted at this point by some discontented muttering and shouts from the Genin gathered to take the test.
"There's a reason the rules are set up like this so shut up and listen, or leave."
Everyone quieted down at that and he continued. "The third rule is that if you are caught cheating 2 points will be deducted from your final score, that's for every time you are caught. If you are caught cheating 3 times then you and your team will be forced to leave. So think very carefully before cheating and putting your and your teammates' futures as shinobi at risk. Now that the rules have been laid out, you have an hour. Begin."
This 'test' would be ridiculously easy for me as the clones I had sent earlier to blend in inside this room were perfectly situated to observe and gather the answers for me (future knowledge and Hax no Jutsu for the win), but as I looked at the questions I knew that I could do these easily by myself. All that time I spent in the libraries when I first got here was paying dividends.
So I quickly and easily answered all the questions and then signaled a clone to pop if it had identified a Chunin plant. When the knowledge of the plant's answers popped into my head I checked my answers and swiftly adjusted the one I had made a small mistake on.
Then I flipped my sheet over and put my feet up on the table to nap for the rest of the time. I could feel eyes upon me as I gently rocked my chair back and forth until Ibiki called time.
"Now you'll have noticed that the 10th question is blank. That is because it is special; you get to choose whether or not you answer it. And your answer will decide the future of your ninja career, you cannot proceed without answering this last question." The scarred man intoned solemnly.
"Then why wouldn't we answer it? If it decides so much then it's obvious that we would answer it." Temari spoke up condescendingly.
"The reason why you would choose not to answer is that if you get it wrong then you will remain a Genin forever and all hope for you to advance will disappear." That statement was met with outrage and disbelief, shinobi and kunoichi from every Village shouted out in protest and questioned his authority to do what he threatened.
"Quiet!" The T&I specialist bellowed, quieting the rowdy Genin. "Each and every one of your Villages and Kages gave me authority over you and your future when they sent you here to take these Exams, if you don't like it or can't hack it here then leave and try again next time when I'm not your instructor. Oh and if one of you quits then your entire team forfeits its right to answer the question."
People began to leave in droves, I quickly glanced around to make sure none of the other Leaf Genin I knew was going to leave and saw that even Sakura had a look of determination on her face. I sat back and smirked to myself, no inspirational speeches for me this time.
Many more people left than originally did so in canon, but that wasn't my problem. Finally it seemed as if the last participant willing to leave had done so and we were left with 15 teams, 45 Genin, willing to bet their careers on answering a question.
"All those of you who stayed…you all passed!" The scarred instructor called out anticlimactically.
"Haaaah!? What about the 10th question!?" Kiba screamed out in confusion, I noticed that he was wearing a new pair of pants rather than the slightly damp ones from earlier.
"Yeah, and were the other 9 questions pointless then?" Temari called out, sounding rather miffed.
"The key was in the third rule. You would only be penalized if you were caught cheating, and as the questions on that test were well above what a standard Genin could answer most figured out that cheating was necessary. Therefore we had several Chunins sneak into the exam to act as plants for the answers and it was up to the contestants to figure out how to get the answers from them. Those who cheated like fools, failed. However those who were able to collect information safely and stealthily succeeded. This test wasn't about knowledge, but about information gathering."
At this he removed his bandana from around his head and revealed the numerous scars that marred his bald dome. "Because sometimes information is worth more than your life, but wrong information can cost you your life. As for those who weren't willing to bet their futures on themselves and their teammates answering the 10th question…they do not deserve to be a Chunin! A Chunin must be a leader and make decisions under pressure, if there is a choice to proceed with the mission into the unknown or to go home having failed without having tried what should that leader choose? There is no choice but to forge ahead and adapt as the situation changes, that is what it means to be a Chunin leader."
Ibiki put his bandana back on and glared at us all again. "Those of you who bet your future have shown you have what it takes to make it in these exams. With this the first part of the Chunin Exams is over. I wish you all the best of luck for the rest of the exams."
"3…2…1" I counted down out loud, drawing everyone's attention and thoroughly anticipating what was to come.
As I called out the last number a gigantic banner flew in through the windows and was pinned to the wall by two kunai as it unfurled.
It read 'Second Examiner: The incomparably sexy and happily, yet tragically, taken Mitarashi Anko is here! Sorry girls, Blondie-kun belongs to me!'
My purple-haired (friend?) followed the banner in with a spinning flip and ending up standing straight with her hands on her hips, her chest thrust forward and bouncing with the force of her landing. She smiled proudly at us.
I couldn't help but call out "Weren't you the sexy and single Mitarashi Anko? When did you change it to taken? And why do I belong to you?"
"Blondie-kun! You shouldn't be shy about letting the world know that you captured the heart of your sexy Anko-nee. Do you like the sign? I knew you would make it through Ibiki's test, so I made it just to show off that I'm off the market, and now we get to have fun!" Anko's grin promised blood and misery along with pleasure and arousal in equal measure.
"Sure, sure, can you just lead us to the next area so we can get this thing started?" People were staring at us, heads turning back and forth as if not quite sure what to make of the two of us but knowing that it heralded something bad.
"Oi Ibiki! You passed 44 of the gakis and Blondie-kun? Are you losing your touch or what?" Anko seemed put off that there were so many people, even though there were 15 less than in canon at this point.
"Yes, all those here have the potential to become Chunin." Ibiki sighed with the feeling of someone dealing with an annoyance they have gotten used to, but still resented having around.
"Hmmm. Oh well, by the time I'm done with them I'll have cut at least half of them out. Some will probably even die!" With that auspicious threat Anko turned and bolted for the window. "Follow me gakis, if you get lost or don't make it to the next examination area then you fail." She fearlessly dove out of the window cackling madly all the while as the sound faded as she got farther away.
All I could do was shrug and Shunshin after her, disappearing in a swirl of wind.
When the rest of the Genin arrived I was reading my book on sealing and absently trying to keep Anko's hands out of my pants as she hung off of me. "But Blondie-kuuuuuuun, you won't let me have any of your blood, and now you won't let your Anko-nee have your milk either? How am I supposed to live? What am I supposed to drink after a bath or when I can't sleep? You'll make me think you don't love me anymore!"
"A-ano…should you be so…friendly towards Naruto-kun when you're the proctor, Anko-san?" Hinata asked shyly but not without some underlying jealousy and competitive spirit.
"Ahhh, no worries Hime-Cut-chan! As long as I don't provide any extra help to Blondie-kun then it's all good. Besides, Blondie-kun is the least likely to need my help out of everyone here." Anko flashed another grin before letting out a disappointed sigh.
"Although I suppose now that everyone is here I should do my job." She hopped up to stand on my shoulders. Inevitably drawing my eyes up with the movement and before I could force myself to look away I was treated by the sight of a flash of black lace under the mesh of her shorts.
Anko seemed to know exactly what happened regardless of how quickly I looked away. "You can see more later if you like Blondie-kun, but for now I've got to work. Alright gakis, the next portion of the Chunin Exams takes place in my home-away-from-home, The Forest of Death. Before we get started I need you all to sigh these forms, don't worry about them they are just wavers to relieve Konoha from the responsibility of your death if you kick it while in there."
"Ha, look at that bitch trying to scare us." Kiba laughed out, not taking Anko's warning seriously at all.
That changed when his face was cut by a flying kunai and she was suddenly behind him, holding his face in place as she lapped up his blood. "Ahhh blood from fresh, innocent gakis like you is the best…Oh! Except for Blondie-kun's blood, you know I like yours the best Blondie-kun!"
And with that everything played out like canon, with Orochimaru posing as the Kusa-Nin returning Anko's kunai, all of us getting a scroll, we had an earth scroll that I let Sasuke carry, and being told that we had 8 days to make it to the tower in the center of the forest.
Just before we were to take our turn being released into the trees I approached Anko. I leaned in close to her and spoke into her ear as she grinned at me and palmed my crotch. "That Kusa-Nin isn't normal, I don't think she is who she is pretending to be. Make sure you and whatever ANBU were assigned to this task are ready to go, I have a feeling that things are about to go down in a big way. I might even have to get a bit foxy if push comes to shove."
Her eyes widened momentarily before she grinned slyly at me. "If you wanted to hug your Anko-nee all you had to do was ask Blondie-kun! I'm sure you'll do fine in there, and if you do well we can play later. Not to mention I will be sure to reward you."
Impressed by how well she played that off I reached around and groped her ass with both hands. She gasped in surprise at first before moaning wantonly and pushing closer into me as I forced her up onto her tiptoes. "I just know that I will be seeing you later Blondie-kun."
Once we took off into the forest I pulled my team aside and pulled a brush and container of ink out of a storage seal. "Alright you two come over here, I'm going to put chakra recognition seals on us and link them up so that we will know if someone tries to impersonate any of us. It's just incase we are separated, better safe than sorry. Just to be extra secure and to throw others off the fake password is using Bakakashi-sensei in a sentence."
It wasn't too long until we were moving again, with me at point, Sakura in the middle, and Sasuke taking it up the rear, I mean taking up the rear. Honest mistake, really.
We had decided to head towards the tower and set traps all around the area, as either we would catch other teams in the traps or run into teams with the same idea. Not to mention I already had tons of traps and seals scattered throughout that area. It was at that time that the clones I had left scattered around the forest to man and reset the traps I had set over the last few weeks started to report in.
My clones had already taken down several teams on their own and the traps were only adding to the number of casualties. I created a clone and popped it to let them all know where I was and to instruct the clones nearest to my position to bring a heaven and an earth scroll and to keep the extra scrolls safe and sealed inside protected sealing scrolls.
As I was setting the pace, we were pushing to Sasuke and Sakura's limits in order to avoid Orochimaru, or at least have back up when he confronted us. However despite how much both of them had improved they were still slower than I wanted us to move, and the relatively frequent breaks began to wear on my nerves.
It was during one such break that two clones approached us and retrieved a heaven and an earth scroll from their respective sealing scrolls before I sealed them into a seal inscribed on my chest, to prevent it from being cut off obviously.
With a nod to me they both took off again, now going to join the other clones I had around us to act as scouts. Hax I tell you! Hax, there is nothing that Shadow clones cannot do given enough time!
We had made it over half way to the tower by my reckoning and I finally felt a faint stirring of hope that we might make it through this without encountering the Snake-Pedo. It was then that one of my clones popped and I cursed myself under my breath for jinxing it.
"Sasuke, Sakura, someone is coming. Someone stronger than me, Zabuza, and Kakashi, in fact he's probably strong enough to fight the three of us together, he's even stronger than Hokage-jiji. He'll look like a Kusa kunoichi at first, but make no mistake it is a he. If we get separated, try to escape or stall until I can make it back to you. Look after each other and remember to get to the tower as fast as you can if you are caught alone. DO. NOT. TRY. TO. FIGHT. You will die. He's most likely after you for your eyes Sasuke, he's known to covet their abilities."
I dumped as much info on my teammates as I could without confusing them while trying to impress upon them the seriousness of the situation. I may have overstated Orochimaru's strength, but once again it was better to be safe than sorry. Sakura looked unsure but nodded in acceptance, while Sasuke looked incredulous but ultimately followed my lead.
As we sped ahead my clones closed ranks around us until we were in a diamond of Shadow clones, all ready to step on a snake. They were the only reason why we weren't caught by surprise and I wasn't separated from my weaker teammates.
As the Pedo-Son-of-a-bitch melted out of a tree in front and slightly to the left of us and blurred through hand seals unleashing a "Wind Style: Great Breakthrough" One of my clones retaliated with the same Jutsu and popped as it was forced to use up the chakra that sustained it to counter the Sannin powered Jutsu.
A third of my clones diverted to engage while I continued on with my teammates and the other 2/3. I knew they wouldn't hold him for too long, but every second they did was another second we could use to get closer to the tower and the help within. Not to mention the clones I had waiting for this situation had already informed Anko and Hiruzen of exactly who we were dealing with, our locations and plan, and that he was attacking, well more like playing with, my squad.
So every moment he wasted on my clones was another moment that ANBU and the Hokage drew closer to us, led by the clones I had assigned the duty of being their guides. Not that they would miss my chakra signature once I really started going at it with the abomination.
Suddenly another third of my clones split off from us and headed back the direction we had come from, signaling the destruction of the final clone of the first third. I could only be thankful that the unused chakra they were made of returned to me after they were destroyed.
It was only a few minutes later that the final group of my clones peeled off and headed off to their doom. However I was getting a better feel of Orochimaru with each confrontation, and while he was not truly serious at the moment I could see the intricacies and preferences within his style of combat.
Quickly I released my resistance seals with a muttered Kai and a pulse of chakra through their matrices, preparing myself for the battle to come. All of my clones had been made while I was wearing my seals, so they were all moving at high Chunin to low Jonin speed and refraining from using too many Jutsu, and only those based around Wind Natured Chakra.
Hopefully this would lure our pursuer into a false sense of security with his, incorrect, knowledge of my capabilities. I didn't believe I could match a Sannin straight up, I wasn't that naïve, but I did think that I was good enough and close enough to their level to get one or two lucky punches in before surprise wore off. If the Sannin had a fault, it would be their arrogance, and Orochimaru was the worst of them in that regard. However he was also the most likely to survive whatever I threw at him.
"When I break off, continue on to the tower. Don't stop until you encounter the ANBU or Hokage-jiji, and don't even think about coming back for me." I loosened my Executioner's Blade in its sheath. "You'll only die." I honestly felt like such a badass at that moment, and it looked like Sakura was going to be sick and Sasuke was going to protest and ruin it for me. I formed three more clones to support and direct them before I imposed my will.
"GO!" I roared as I planted my foot on a branch and with a burst of speed turned around to confront a living nightmare.
Thankfully they went without another word, obviously pushing their limits hard to reach safety. I felt the last of my clones in the vicinity pop, knowing that the rest that were scattered through the Forest of death were all booking it to me after dropping their own resistance seals.
They had a chance of getting here if I could hold out for ten minutes or so, so I gave them a 50/50 chance of being able to make a difference beyond returning to me as chakra. Looking around for a good place to fight for my life I settled on a relatively unobstructed clearing. I landed, unsheathed my blade and slowly rolled my neck in a circle, appreciating the dramatic cracking that the tendons issued out into the still forest air.
"Now," I drawled out to the seemingly empty trees around me, "let's see what you're really made of."
Deranged yet oddly sibilant cackling echoed around me. "Ooooh my, but you are an interesting one, aren't you?" The form of the Kusa kunoichi slunk out of the tree line, half the skin of her face torn away to reveal another underneath. The second face had deathly white skin, as pure in color as new fallen snow, but with a sinister tint to it. However it was the shinning, golden eye set within what could have been purple makeup or a strange birthmark that disturbed me most.
"I suppose I am at that. The name is Uzumaki Naruto, who is it that I do battle with today?" Keep him talking. The longer I keep him talking the better chance I have at not only surviving, but also at winning.
"Oh and so polite too, a true shame that I won't be able to play with you as much as I'd like. However I have another prize in mind." Orochimaru seemed to be contemplating his answer before giving a minute shrug as if deciding to humor me.
He reached up and ripped the remaining skin of the Kusa-Nin off his face and gave me a grin. "You stand before Orochimaru of the Sannin, Uzumaki Naruto. Step aside and I shall leave you unharmed as you have made the chase so much sweeter."
You have no idea how much I have fucked with your 'chase' you sick fuck, and if I have my way then you won't realize it until your ass is filled with ANBU steel. That was what ran through my head, but I obviously couldn't say it aloud without ruining my plans.
Instead I offered the psychopathic monster a short, courteous bow. "Ah Orochimaru-sama, it is both an honor and a horrible twist in fate that I face off against you today." The snake grinned at this, obviously pleased with my behavior. "However I must refuse your generosity. I cannot help but conjecture that the person you are after is Uchiha Sasuke, a teammate of mine. Furthermore I can only reach the conclusion that you seek to place your Curse Seal on him and lure him away from Konoha to serve some future purpose revolving around his clan's Dojutsu."
I cocked my head at the deranged madman in question, as if checking to make sure I was correct in my deductions. He looked slightly surprised, highly amused, and moderately impressed as he offered a nod of confirmation.
Nodding my own head as if affirming my thoughts I continued. "Therefore as a shinobi of Konoha it is my duty to obstruct you in your pursuits to the best of my abilities, no matter how futile it may be." I added the last bit at the end when his face darkened momentarily at my presumption.
"You are an incredibly astute child and are very well informed." He turned his statement into a question.
"I am more than passably involved with your former pupil, one Mitarashi Anko." I offered up my explanation, buying a few more seconds even as I saw his muscles tense.
"I see, Anko-chan huh? Is she doing well? Still fighting the gift I gave her?" He actually seemed interested and to genuinely consider his Curse Seal as a gift.
"She is doing reasonably well, and yes from all appearances she still seems to be laboring under the obstruction of your seal." I subtly shifted my feet, readying myself to move in any direction at less than a moment's notice.
"Ahhh such a shame, she had such potential. Much like you now that I think about it. Hmmm, if you amuse me I will gift you my seal as well. So make sure to give your all and entertain me!" On the last word he launched himself forward, moving in blurring, serpentine, curves as he darted towards me.
Only to be forced to jump backwards with a large tear in his kimono-thing as Kubikiribocho eagerly raced out to meet him, surprising him slightly with the force and speed I could wield the giant blade along with the extra length provided by giving it an edge of wind natured chakra.
"Hooooh, you are interesting indeed Naruto-kun. Now, show me more!" He called as he rushed back in, avoiding my blade this time and countering the kick I aimed his way.
What ensued was a pure Taijutsu, and Kenjutsu on my part, battle. He wasn't as proficient as I was, nor was he as strong, but he was faster. Especially since I was still holding back slightly in order to lure him into overcommitting.
So far he was content to 'play' with me and either avoid or redirect all of my attacks, however he did collect quite a few scratches from the variable length of the cutting edge of the Hien, and his clothes were quite shredded after only a few exchanges.
"Very good Naruto-kun, but it's starting to get…" He rushed in at me as fast as I had seen him move, obviously intending on delivering a crushing and 'motivating' blow. "BORING!"
As he went to deliver his strike into my stomach I immediately resigned myself to taking the hit and returning one in return. My sword suddenly sped up and came crashing down towards the Snake Sannin. His eyes widened even as they developed a sudden gleam.
As his fist smashed into my already clenched abdominal muscles and I felt the air driven out of my lungs I bisected him with my blade. I had aimed to cut him straight down from head through crotch to prevent him from regurgitating an unharmed version, but he had altered the angle of his blow such that instead I cut him in half from shoulder to hip.
As black, tainted blood sprayed into the air and I was sent sliding backwards with my sandals trying to find traction on the ground beneath me he did just as I had hoped to prevent. A new, untouched Orochimaru stood before me, looking me over speculatively.
"So…you held back your speed with both your clones and in the first few exchanges in order to lure me into a trap when I overcommitted to an attack." The abomination in human form titled his head before a giant grin broke out on his face. "Brilliant, Naruto-kun. Simply brilliant, and very well executed. If I had been an instant slower that might well have done some extensive damage. Are you sure you are a Genin? Truly?"
"Yes, and it might surprise you to know I was the 'deadlast' of my graduation class as well." I grimaced as I gingerly felt my ribs, none were broken and the bruising was ignorable and would fade quickly with my healing factor.
He seemed shocked and perplexed before a look of glee stole over his face. "That makes no sense, how could someone as obviously gifted as yourself…" He broke out into his cackling again and threw his head back with the force of his laughter. "Deception is a ninja's greatest tool, is that not so Naruto-kun?"
"Indeed Orochimaru-sama." Well, it was. However that did not mean I had employed it, but somehow I felt he would want to dissect me if I told him that I was dumped in this body from another universe.
"Good." He purred. "Show me more Naruto-kun!" The madman sounded ecstatic as the roots of the trees around me came up to entangle my legs and arms, trapping me and rendering me immobile and helpless.
"Kai!" I yelled as I retracted and flared my chakra. I was just in time to whip Kiri-san (Kubikiribocho) up to intercept the Sword of Kusanagi from its path to sever my arm.
"Good, good." Orochimaru crowed happily.
Strike after strike. Clash after clash. The clanging of blade on blade and the thudding of flesh on flesh filled the clearing as we pitted our might against the other. Periodically the Pedo-Snake would attempt to snare me with Genjutsu and unfortunately I had to break those on my own, as Kurama and I were not yet on the best of terms.
Our positions had been reversed and I was hard-pressed to keep myself from being cut to ribbons due to his greater speed and familiarity with his blade. While I was good with Kiri-san, I was no master yet and the Snake Sannin had obviously devoted a significant amount of time to learn the use of his blade.
"Should we move on to Ninjutsu?" I asked my opponent as we separated and entered a lull in the battle.
"Oh? Why would we do that Naruto-kun? Are you not enjoying our game as is?" Came the amused response.
He knew he was at an advantage as we stood and neither of us had used Ninjutsu, but he had no reason to believe that I could compete with him in that area any more than I could compete with his mastery of Genjutsu with my admittedly underwhelming skills in that area.
I was good enough to escape even his best Genjutsu, primarily because I had so much chakra and was not shy about using it, but I still suffered damage and drained my reserves slightly every time I needed to do so. I did not even try to return fire with my own Genjutsu as I didn't yet know any higher level ones and my chakra control had only just gotten good enough to use them.
"As enjoyable as this is," I motioned at my rapidly healing wounds and my tattered outfit. "I think that you have determined where I stand in regards to Taijutsu, Kenjutsu, and Genjutsu. Admittedly Genjutsu is my weakest area in regards to shinobi arts, but I think it's time for the lesson to move on."
Once again letting loose a resonant laugh Orochimaru grinned at me. "You amuse me greatly Naruto-kun, it is a pity and a waste for you to remain in a place that will be as wasteful of your talent and potential as the Leaf. I believe at the end of our…'lesson'," I could hear the amusement at the term. "I will gift you my seal. And when the fools in the Leaf squander your gifts and attempt to hold you back, know that you have a place at my side."
After his speech and offer, which he did not give me the opportunity to respond to, he blurred through hand seals at a tremendous rate, one I could not compete with. Inhaling sharply and expanding his chest to such an extent that I wondered if he even had ribs he unleashed a torrent of roaring flames at me. "Fire Style: Grand Fireball"
It was only through the judicious employment of Shunshin that I escaped unscathed. "Well…damn." That really was an impressive Jutsu and definitely one that I wanted to learn in time. Another Shunshin took me away from the blade of his sword and another placed me behind him with my own blade already in motion.
I cleaved through his body, only for it to dissolve into mud. "Fuck! Mud clone!" I Shunshined a few more times to escape the retaliation I knew was coming, and sure enough another stream of fire hit and detonated upon the spot I had previously stood.
"Your use of the Shunshin is highly reminiscent of Uchiha Shisui. Were you taught by him in your younger years, or did you develop the skill on your own?" Even as he attempted to bifurcate me and burn me to ashes the Snake still managed to sound thoughtful and intrigued as he awaited my answer.
"On my own." I grunted out in between Shunshins as I circled him before renewing my assault. This time I unleashed my own Jutsu, channeling as much chakra as I dared into it.
"Beast Tearing Gale Palm" The brilliant blue, chakra infused claw of wind lived up to its name and tore through the Sannin, and ripping him from his feet even as it sundered the trees and even the very earth that existed within its path.
I was breathing a bit heavily at this point, hoping against hope that I got the sick fuck with that one. However I knew it wouldn't be that easy and as powerful as that Jutsu was, especially when I used it, and as fast as I could unleash it without hand seals I knew Orochimaru was too good to go down to that.
True to form he staggered out of the 20-meter, 65 foot, rut my Jutsu had torn through our surroundings. He looked haggard and injured, with blood running down his face and dripping from one uselessly hanging arm. However he just grinned, swallowed his sword and shed his skin, making it as if my attack had never happened. I knew he couldn't keep using that particular Jutsu for much longer, but I also knew he would stop fooling around soon and start fighting to kill instead of to maim and incapacitate.
While this battle had told me that I could push him and I wouldn't be put down easily, I had no delusions of pulling off an upset. I had two or three moves left that I could try, but each was more dangerous and hazardous to my health than the last. I only had one move left that might grant me victory without the risk of grievous self-harm or going berserk and possibly harming my allies…whenever the hell they actually got here.
"Time to end this Naruto-kun, I have spent far too much time with you already and as interesting and amusing as it has been I really must be off. Remember what I said about my gift and your place at my side, I could use someone like you." This was it, he was through playing around, I had bought as much time as I could and would have to go for the kill or lose in a drawn out yet inevitable beat down.
"Thank you for your offer Orochimaru-sama, I shall consider it and remember it should that situation ever arise." I nodded my head in an approximation of a bow without taking my eyes off of the Sannin.
"Then let us end the lesson!" Once again, as fast as anyone I had ever seen besides Guy with all of his weights off Orochimaru rushed me.
We fell into a dance of blade and man, elegantly and seamlessly gliding around one another, pirouetting through the blur of steel and the promise of death as intimately as any pair of lovers yet as opposed as mortal enemies. Flowing, flowing like water, sparking like the birth of flame, crashing with the rumble of thunder, whistling with the speed of the wind.
It had to end, and end it did. The dance ended with his hand buried in my gut, literally stabbed through skin and muscle to penetrate my guts.
I gasped in pain and shock as ruby, red blood rushed from the wound and coated his hand and wrist. A look of sickening joy was upon his serpentine face as he pushed his hand farther inside me. I weakly gripped his forearm, as if to stop him. My grip was too weak, however, to actually matter and he ignored it.
"Now Naruto-kun, enjoy my gift and the power that comes with it!" His neck extended suddenly, intent on sinking his fangs into my own much shorter neck.
However I had different plans. With a primal roar of agony and resolve I tightened my grip on his forearm until I was pulping the bones within and locked him in place even as lightning shrouded my form. His eyes widened in shock (badumbum) as again my ploy had worked.
In his arrogance and with the assurance that he was indeed the greater of us two he had overcommitted and put himself in a situation that I could take advantage of. And this time he had let his guard down fully. He couldn't escape the crushing, burning, electrifying grip I had on him, nor could he evade the sword, coated with crackling lightning as it streaked through the air.
The forward momentum of his own neck ensured that he had no time for adjustment, let alone escape. Just like that my blade cleaved straight through the center of his head and neck, following them back to his body and continuing its gruesome work. Blood and other fluids sprayed everywhere, slicking my face, clothes, and everything within a 10-foot radius.
I proceeded to cut, slash, burn, and generally obliterate every piece of the 'immortal' monster I could find, starting from the top and working my way down.
When I was sure I had gotten everything and I could not sense any sign of life despite searching as thoroughly as possible I released a long breath and sheathed my sword, giving it an affectionate pat. I also channeled a small amount of the Kyuubi's chakra to assist my natural healing factor in addressing my stomach wound. Then I went about gingerly removing my ANBU style chest piece and wrapping some spare bandages around myself to stem the bleeding and hold my intestines inside where I liked them.
It was only then that my clones arrived en mass, almost 60 of them arriving at once. I summarily had 20 of them pop, I needed the chakra if I was to maintain my Lightning Style Chakra Armor for long enough to catch up to my team ASAP and still be able to fight afterward. As I turned to take off in the direction of the tower I felt my danger sense twinge and immediately hurled myself sideways.
It was only my advanced speed and reflexes that saved me from a crippling wound. The mass influx of chakra and memories let me know that my clones had not been so fortunate.
Stiffly, feeling extremely reluctant to confirm what I knew from the memories of my dearly deceased clones, I turned my head until I was looking an extremely pissed and more than a bit wounded Orochimaru in the eye.
"Ah." The sound escaped me without consent.
The Snake Sannin looked like he had been through the wringer, blood dribbling from shallow cuts and deep gashes, notably the massive trough carved from his hairline directly through the center of his face and all the way through his crotch. The skin within the gash was blackened and looked like overcooked meat, blood oozed from the excruciating looking cracks in his ruined skin.
The man looked beyond pissed and completely insane at the moment, his eyes were wild and hazy with pain and rage. Well…his eye, as one of them had a giant, electrical burn blackening it into charcoal. He was also missing his right arm entirely from the elbow down, the wound also burned black by the electricity. In fact, most of his previously alabaster skin was now a cracked, sooty black. He looked like charred death, and it was terrifying.
"Youuuuuu." The voice that came from his ruined face, rolling off his split and blackened tongue, was a deadly cross between a croak and a hiss. It promised pain, suffering, misery, and a long and torturous death.
"Ah." I repeated, struck dumb by the sheer fact of his continued survival. "O-Orochimaru-sama…I…didn't see you there." I really had no idea what to say and was quite frankly terrified as I was really in no shape to use one of my two remaining trump cards and the other one was the more dangerous of the two by far. "Wow. You really live up to the reputation of being a Sannin. I was sure you had died after that."
He glared at me with his sole, baleful eye. "Your death will be a long and agonizing affair. Your screams will be heard throughout the Elemental Nations, and all shall know that it was because of my wrath!"
"I can see that you're kind of upset. However I do think you're over reacting, I mean one or two good sheddings and you'll be back to your old self!" I was in severe panic mode. I had thrown everything I could throw at him at the fuck and while he was certainly the worse for wear, the way he disposed of my clones told me that he had more than enough left to kill me as injured as I was. True I was healing faster than him, and had an extra eye and an arm, but I didn't know how long that would last.
Oh fuck it, I had come this far I might as well stick it out and try to drive him off, capture him, or just kill him here and let him resurrect out of some poor sap's Curse Seal.
"Chidori" I gave no warning as I blew through the familiar hand seals and gained yet another speed boost on top of my Lightning Style Chakra Armor.
I flew at him far faster than most people could comprehend. My speed had transcended merely Elite Jonin and reached the level of 'True' S Rank Nin, those of Kage class and above.
My hand plunged through his chest, unerringly seeking his heart, as the battered, renegade student of the 3rd desperately attempted to dodge. He had no such luck and only managed to move enough that I pierced half of his heart as opposed to all of it.
Blood erupted from his mouth even as another Orochimaru came flying out. This one had much-improved features; the black burns had receded into the lacerations that littered his body, his right arm had returned, and his tongue seemed to be merely forked as opposed to bisected.
However he did have a noticeable hole in his chest that was leaking blood and staining his now unmarked kimono-thing with a vermillion flower. Gasping and panting with rage and pain Orochimaru snarled at me in inarticulate fury.
I had been playing in the big leagues for real for the first time and I was tired and injured. I only had another few Jutsu in me before I was done and had to rely on Kurama's chakra instead. Yep, that was obviously my second trump card that was the more dangerous, for others I cared about, of the two.
Seeing no other option but to go for it I once again formed a Chidori in my right hand and in my left a swirling orb of screaming wind and chakra formed and bloated to enormous size. "Uzumaki Style: One Thousand Birds Hurricane Sphere" (Wind Style: Oodama Rasengan and Chidori dual wield)
I took off like a rocket. A rocket covered in electricity with a lightning bolt attached to one wing and a hurricane condensed into a ball on the other. This time he dodged my Chidori much better and I only managed to plunge it into his shoulder bone.
It was enough.
As my lightning covered hand, which was holding more lightning, pierced through the Snake and drove him through a tree only to pin him to another as once again blood shot from his maw. As his mouth gaped wide I saw the glimmer of a golden eye within the darkness of his throat.
'Not this time' I thought to myself as I roared my determination to the world and drove the giant ball containing a maelstrom directly down his open throat.
He literally exploded as the force of the winds and the direction I had given my final attack launched the meat bag that had been Konoha's most notorious traitor in recent memory away from me before plowing him into the earth where it dug a crater and lined it with gouges as hurricane force winds, sharpened beyond normal means by chakra and will, sought to unleash their fury on the world and the man that I had directed them towards.
My lightning coating petered out as I watched the attack rage. By the time its fury had been spent I was on my knees, blood trickling down my chin as I tried to keep myself steady. After all any man would have trouble staying upright if the world began spinning and shaking underneath him.
That had to have done it. There was no way he could have survived that. I refused to believe that anything that was or had been human could survive that unless it was an Edo Tensei or simple, fucking, bullshit.
Hacking coughs issued from the crater I had just created, sounding as if they were bloody and extremely painful. A few moments after a shredded, scarred hand reached over the lip and scrabbled for purchase. I was too tired to do anything about it, too spent and hurt to do anything but wait and see.
The cuts I had received were mostly healed, but my stomach wound was caught halfway as I was just about out of chakra. I knew it would heal almost instantly if I used the Kyuubi's chakra, but I didn't trust my control of it even when I was fresh, let alone in the shape I was in now.
When Orochimaru finally dragged his carcass over the lip of the crater I couldn't help but feel proud. He was gasping for air and obviously exhausted and in unmitigated pain.
Most of the wounds I had given him appeared to be newly healed scars, still tender and ready to split at any overexertion. Unfortunately, he had all of his limbs and while dangerously low on chakra and stamina, still seemed fully functional.
"Well…'Huff'…Fuck." I managed to gasp out.
"In…Indeed Naruto-k-kun." Came the thin response.
Nothing was heard beyond our labored breathing and hacking coughs. Finally I mustered up the courage and strength to speak again, this time I was more composed.
"So are you going to try to kill me again?" I couldn't help but ask sardonically. I would have lifted an eyebrow, but was too tired.
Hacking, wheezing laughter was his response. "No, once I am recovered I will simply deliver my gift unto you and then catch up to Sasuke-kun. I will need to hurry, I spent too much time playing with you and then you surprised me not once, but twice."
"I have one or two more surprises left in me yet." I supplied, enjoying the banter with Orochi-Pedo despite myself. What does that say about me? Ignore and go into denial. Everything is fine.
Pulling himself unsteadily to his feet Orochimaru once again grinned down at me where I knelt surrounded by the scars our battle had left on the land. "Now then Naruto-kun, stay still. This will only hurt for a bit." His neck once again raced at me.
I closed my eyes and called Kurama's caustic chakra to the surface and cloaked myself in it, feeling my wounds heal and my stamina and chakra replenish at an astounding rate. However I wouldn't be in time to stop myself from getting a hicky-tattoo.
Clang!
My eyes opened to the enchanting sight of a lovely, heart shaped derriere tantalizingly covered in mesh, with a tannish, orange miniskirt riding up the wide hips and slim waist attached to the amazing rear-end, fluttering with the speed of movement, and doing nothing to cover the glory laid bare to me. Except for the mesh, that ass was naked right in front of me.
I decided that I hated mesh in that moment. And Kishimoto for making Orochimaru so God-Damned-Un-Fucking-Killable.
Fuck you Kishimoto.
"Ah Anko-chan. An unexpected pleasure to see you again." Orochimaru sounded more tired than anything, but I thought I could detect a hint of slight happiness in his tone.
"Shut it you sick, traitorous bastard! ANBU apprehend that traitor!" The ass seemed to say with a wonderful jiggle. Then my brain kicked back into gear and I realized that the ass belonged to Anko, so Anko said that.
Silly brain, asses can't talk.
I managed to let go of the Kyuubi's chakra and felt it recede, leaving me tired, but lucid and relatively combat worthy once again. Gotta' love being a Jinchuriki at times like this, other times it's a pain in the ass for sure.
"Ugh, such an opportunity wasted. Until we meet again Naruto-kun, I will have you and Sasuke-kun. Whether I have to come and get you or you come to me yourself, someone with your power won't be content wallowing in the mediocrity here in Konoha. I'll see you again soon. Oh and Anko-chan, tell the Old Man that if he stops the Chunin Exams…I will destroy the Leaf." With that last threat Orochimaru took off into the trees, chased by a swarm of masked shadows.
"About…fucking…time you assholes showed up!" I complained as I fell back onto the ground and simply relaxed and relished in the feeling of being alive and relatively unharmed. Cracking an eye open to look up Anko's skirt and see that she was wearing something black and lacy today I couldn't help but ask. "What took you so long?"
A lascivious grin and a leer accompanied my answer. "A lady may take as long as she needs, it's the man's job to hold out until she comes." I really should have seen that one coming, but I was tired and had just fought off a Sannin. I deserved a break.
Of course it would be to the current situation of Anko standing over me, straddling my face with her feet and me looking up her skirt that Hiruzen would finally show up to. He arrived on scene ready for war and sent his ANBU squad after the others already hunting Anko's former sensei.
Then he looked at me and sighed in relief at finding me safe. Him finding Anko in close proximity to me followed that. I could tell he was surprised that she wasn't chasing after Orochimaru.
I know I was.
However he was also obviously glad she had stayed with me, before he realized our relative positions.
Anko was proudly standing over my face, chest out and hands on hips. I was flat on my back with my eyes alternating between looking at him, being drawn inexorably up Anko's skirt, and staring intently at the canopy of the forest.
"Well. This isn't how I expected to find you after or during an encounter with Orochimaru." Hiruzen stated in an incredibly bland voice that told me he would be relating this situation to Jiraya for the man's 'research'.
I just groaned. Fuck you Kishimoto.