OPTC Chapter 300 - Tom: I Didn't Do It!
Zhang Da Ye had to admit that he was definitely not cut out to be a gourmet. Whether a shrimp was boiled a few seconds longer or shorter made no difference to him at all.
Still, that didn't stop him from being secretly delighted. There weren't many who could snatch food from the lion's mouth and live to tell the tale—especially when the little lion had offered it to him willingly.
After finishing his hotpot meal with satisfaction, Zhang Da Ye finally saw a Marine ship approaching.
"Marine Branch No. 16… sounds familiar," he murmured, watching the warship draw nearer. "Please don't let this turn into some kind of mess."
The warship slowed to a stop nearby, soldiers on deck gripping their weapons cautiously—they were clearly on alert for tricks.
If Zhang Da Ye hadn't already taken down the Black Cat Pirates' flag, they might have fired a few testing rounds first.
"I'm Major Nezumi of the Marine 16th Branch. Are you the Amber Travel Group?" the Marine officer asked, tugging on his whiskers.
Zhang Da Ye raised his head. This "Major Nezumi" really lived up to his name—six long whiskers sprouted from his cheeks, and two large, mouse-like ears sat on his head. Whether they were real or decorative, Zhang Da Ye couldn't tell.
"Yes, that's us," Zhang Da Ye said. "We've defeated all sixty-four members of the Black Cat Pirates. Please take them into custody."
Major Nezumi lifted his chin, signaling his subordinates to verify.
Several Marines climbed aboard the pirates' ship with wanted posters in hand. Zango and the Meowban Brothers were confirmed easily, though identifying Captain Kuro took more effort.
The man had been beaten so badly by Zhang Da Ye that his face was nearly unrecognizable. The Marines even mistook the shipwright Nujiano for Kuro until Zhang Da Ye pointed out their mistake.
"Report, Major! Captain 'Hundred Plans' Kuro, bounty 10 million Berries.
First Mate 'Hypnotist' Jango, bounty 6 million.
'Meowban Brothers' Buchi and Sam, bounty 4 million.
One damaged pirate ship and assorted weapons recovered.
Total bounty reward: 52 million Berries!"
At the mention of the number, Major Nezumi's whiskers twitched, and a sly smile crept across his face. "Hehehehe… impressive. Even we had trouble dealing with Kuro."
That's because you're useless, thought Zhang Da Ye, smiling politely. "We just got lucky."
Tom eyed the major suspiciously. The man's laugh was eerily similar to a squeaking mouse. Tom's tail twitched instinctively, and he nearly lunged before Zhang Da Ye pressed a hand to his shoulder to stop him.
Once he calmed down, Tom hesitated. That mouse was way too big to catch bare-handed. Maybe a trap? Or a gun?
He tilted his head, lost in thought, already planning a new mousetrap.
"Seems luck really was on your side," Major Nezumi said approvingly.
Not because of Zhang Da Ye's modesty, but because the officer had already concluded that this group was easy prey.
The young man leading them looked kind and harmless.
The girl behind him, carrying a huge sword, had a timid air.
A blonde girl and a man with an afro were having tea, looking frail enough to be blown away by the wind.
Two little girls were playing at the stern, making odd hand gestures.
And the cats… well, cats didn't count.
No matter who else might be inside the cabin, they clearly weren't strong enough to worry about.
To Major Nezumi, this ship had no real fighters at all.
As for how they beat the Black Cat Pirates? Well, there had been a storm recently. Probably dumb luck.
That meant opportunity.
The major whispered something to a nearby Marine. The soldier hesitated but, under Nezumi's glare, ran off immediately.
"Please wait a moment," said the major, smiling. "I've ordered the reward to be brought out. In the meantime, detain all pirates and take control of their ship."
The Marines busied themselves, while Zhang Da Ye reviewed the figures. The report matched Shark Chili's own records—except the pirate ship's valuation seemed unusually low.
Either it was in bad condition… or Major Nezumi was skimming.
But the Marine's expression looked too casual for an outright lie.
As they waited, the major made small talk, asking about their crew and who the captain was. He was much friendlier than Fullbody had been.
Zhang Da Ye, curious what trick he was planning, answered honestly. Nothing worth hiding anyway.
Major Nezumi grinned. Eight people, two cats—two of them children.
Perfect.
Moments later, a Marine brought out a cloth bag and handed it to Zhang Da Ye.
Major Nezumi smiled pleasantly. "Mr. Da Ye, here's your 52 million Berries. Please check it."
Zhang Da Ye frowned immediately. The weight was wrong.
Opening the bag, he saw only stacks of 10,000-Berry notes—maybe 20 of them. Two million at best.
"Major Nezumi, this amount seems… off."
"How could that be?" Nezumi said, feigning surprise. He turned to the Marine who'd delivered it. "How much did you hand over?"
"F-fifty-two million Berries, sir!"
"You're certain?"
"Yes, sir! Absolutely!"
Satisfied, the major nodded. "You see, Mr. Da Ye? My men don't lie. Please count again. But if you happened to drop some… well, there's nothing we can do, hehehehe…"
He twirled his whiskers with a smug smirk—the picture of corruption.
"Boss, what now?" Rui Meng Meng whispered anxiously. Even she could tell something was wrong. "This is… this is what they call a corrupt officer, right?" Her hand instinctively gripped her sword.
Major Nezumi's grin widened. "Oh-ho? That lady's not thinking of attacking a Marine, is she? That would make you wanted criminals! You should be happy to get five million for a lucky find like that!"
Zhang Da Ye stared at him, dumbfounded. He'd expected some clever scheme—falsified reports, missing paperwork—but this guy was just blatantly stealing the money!
Even in the original story, he'd at least framed Nami as a thief first! What a lazy excuse for a villain.
"So you're pocketing our reward?" Zhang Da Ye asked flatly.
"Careful," Nezumi sneered. "Accusing a Marine officer is a serious crime. But I'm in a good mood today, so I'll overlook it. Be smart." He turned away. "Set sail!"
He really was in a good mood—after all, he'd just pocketed thirty million.
A nice bottle of wine tonight, maybe dinner at that new sea restaurant everyone was talking about.
Both ships—his warship and the captured pirate vessel—set off.
Zhang Da Ye watched them leave without stopping Rui Meng Meng.
"Boss, we're just letting them go?" she asked angrily.
He smiled. "Fighting Marines is troublesome. It's fine. We can get that money back—along with his job."
A single phone call would do. There were plenty of Marines who could deal with him.
Zhang Da Ye flipped through his little black book of contacts: Kuro, Kadaru, T-Bone, Gion, Garp, Borsalino, Strawberry…
He'd made quite a few connections lately.
Too bad Aokiji hadn't been around much during the Golden Lion incident—he still hadn't had the chance to chat properly.
After thinking it over, he decided to call Vice Admiral Gion. She was familiar, trustworthy, and high-ranking enough to fix this.
As for Garp—well, that old man didn't even take calls from Sengoku. Zhang Da Ye doubted he'd answer.
The Den Den Mushi connected with a click.
"Da Ye-chan? Long time no see," came Gion's soft, tired voice, still carrying her usual teasing tone. "Have you finally decided to join the Marines?"
"Nope," Zhang Da Ye replied without hesitation.
"Then… has Artoria-chan missed me? If she wants to join, don't you dare stop her!"
"You're imagining things," he said dryly. "Artoria-chan barely tolerates you."
Across the deck, Artoria glanced over, a cookie halfway to her mouth, utterly confused about why she'd been mentioned.
"Eh? Why?" Gion sounded genuinely curious. "Did you badmouth me again?"
"It's because your Marines have a rat problem," Zhang Da Ye said. "A major just stole our bounty. Now Artoria-chan's struggling to afford food, and her favorability toward the Marines just dropped by fifty percent."
Silence.
Then Gion's voice turned sharp. "Explain."
Zhang Da Ye quickly summarized everything, ending with a sigh. "He strutted off so smugly. We couldn't hit him, so… I figured I'd just complain to you."
"I see," Gion said after a pause. "On behalf of the Marines, I apologize. You'll receive full compensation. Please don't judge us all by one man's actions."
She didn't doubt him. There were always a few rotten officers, and Zhang Da Ye wasn't the type to lie for pocket change.
As for the bit about Artoria being too hungry to eat—it was clearly meant to provoke her. Under different circumstances, Gion might have joked, "Then hand her over and I'll feed her myself."
But she wasn't in the mood. She pressed a hand to her chest, relieved that no one had been foolish enough to fight the Marines directly. That could have ended badly.
"Thanks," Zhang Da Ye said. "If I really mistrusted you, I wouldn't have called. But it'd be good to clean up scum like that—hurts the Marines' reputation."
"I'll handle it personally," Gion said and hung up.
She fully intended to do it herself. Not for Zhang Da Ye's sake—but because she was already in a terrible mood.
For months, she'd been chasing Doflamingo, only to fail repeatedly.
Her biggest success recently had been thanks to Zhang Da Ye's crew capturing Diamante and Buffalo. That had brightened her spirits for days, giving her hope of finally cornering Doflamingo.
Then came the news: he'd targeted the Heavenly Tribute—and been made a Shichibukai for it.
All her careful plans had been rendered meaningless.
She felt like an idiot.
And now, a petty branch officer had nearly provoked a war with a pirate who was far more dangerous than he realized.
Gion's eyes darkened. "That damned rat… I swear I'll make an example of him."
…
"AAAAAAHHH!"
"OWWW!!!"
"What's happening?!"
"Major Nezumi!"
The screams came before the ships had even gone far.
Zhang Da Ye had barely hung up the Den Den Mushi when he heard the chaos from the warship.
He and Rui Meng Meng exchanged looks. "That was fast. Too fast. Even Gion can't act that quickly."
Watching Nezumi leap into the air higher than the mast, Zhang Da Ye sighed. "Tom, did you prank him?"
Tom spread his paws innocently and shrugged. "Me? No."
He had tossed a few gadgets earlier, yes—but they'd never actually worked on mice before.
So the screaming definitely wasn't his fault.
Probably.
He tilted his head, nibbling his finger. Could it be that the traps actually worked this time?
Zhang Da Ye frowned. Tom never lied—his expressions always gave him away. And if it had been his doing, he'd be proudly asking for praise right now.
So… who was responsible?
"Who's responsible?!" Major Nezumi bellowed furiously.
He had stepped on a mousetrap. Normally, his leather boots would have protected him—but this one had made his foot swell instantly.
Then, as he hopped in pain, he landed on a deck scattered with nails.
He shot into the air, screaming, only to narrowly dodge impaling himself on the way down.
He didn't even notice how swollen his foot—or his boot—had become, or how he'd just performed an inhuman midair dodge.
"Get me to the infirmary!"
"Yes, sir!"
Two Marines hurried to lift him, but as they reached the stairs, both slipped—one on a banana peel, the other on a watermelon rind.
Nezumi tumbled headfirst down the steps.
"Ahhhh—!"
He crashed at the bottom, dazed and bleeding, but somehow still conscious. "You idiots! Trying to kill me?!"
"Sorry, sir!" the Marines cried, scrambling to help.
Just as they lifted him up—one of them stepped on a hoe.
The handle snapped upright and smacked Nezumi square in the face.
"Major!" the Marine gasped, pale as death.
He was doomed. They'd think he tried to murder his superior.
Major Nezumi didn't answer.
He lay unconscious, eyes spinning like spirals, a bright red welt across his face marking his series of unfortunate events.
[Powerstones plz...
patreon.com/GuessMyName33 for 50 chapters ahead
If you like this novel, check out my other novels in my profile!]