74 Chapter 74
"I really can't believe he's gone- Aruno is the strongest of us. What possibly could have made him to have a decision such as this?" Rin says in a low tone.
Later, when the others had dispersed, Rin sought solitude. She sank into the warm bath, letting the water embrace her, trying to wash away the restless energy that clung to her. Steam curled lazily into the air, filling the room with a soft haze. Her thoughts, however, refused to be cleansed.
A faint shimmer flickered near the edge of the room. Rin's eyes narrowed, recognizing the signature immediately. The distortion stabilized into a familiar form—Junyeong, casually observing himself in the small mirror mounted on the wall, dark hair falling slightly into his sharp purple eyes.
"You again," Rin murmured, voice soft but cautious. "You just show up whenever you want, don't you?"
Junyeong tilted his head, expression unreadable. "I go where I'm needed," he replied lightly, brushing a lock of hair behind his ear. His gaze lingered on his reflection rather than on her.
Rin let out a slow breath, letting the water rise around her shoulders. "…I need to ask something," she said quietly, finally meeting his eyes. "Aruno. Do you know… where he is? What he's doing? Even you, with all your power, can't see him?"
Junyeong's purple eyes flicked to her, calm and calculating. "He's beyond my reach. Not entirely, at least. I sense… a faint presence, but it's like trying to grasp smoke. He moves differently now. Cautious, deliberate. Purposeful."
Rin's shoulders slumped, a soft sigh escaping her lips. "So he's really on his own…"
Junyeong shrugged lightly, turning back to the mirror. "Not entirely. He always leaves a trace, even if faint. But tracking him? Impossible right now. Even for me."
Rin sank deeper into the bath, letting the heat and steam surround her as she absorbed the weight of his words. "Even the Lumes can't always know… He's really gone…"
Junyeong's eyes finally flicked up from the mirror, glinting with that infuriating mix of mischief and obliviousness. "…By the way," he said casually, voice almost too light for the tension in the room, "nice… rack."
Rin's eyes went wide. She sputtered, splashing the water slightly as she shot him a glare sharp enough to cut glass. "…Junyeong! What the hell are you doing?!"
He shrugged, completely unfazed, leaning a little closer to the mirror. "Hey, I'm just trying to take your mind off… all that worrying about your man, you know? At least he's alive. That's something, right?"
Rin groaned, sinking slightly lower into the bath, pressing her arms against her chest. "…You're such an idiot," she muttered, half exasperated, half exasperated-but-relieved. A small part of her actually appreciated it—his ridiculous attempt to distract her from her relentless worry about Aruno.
Junyeong grinned, clearly proud of himself. "Exactly! See? I'm helping. You're thinking less about him now, right?"
Rin rolled her eyes so hard it was practically audible. "…Barely," she admitted, though a tiny smirk tugged at her lips despite herself.
He gave a victorious little nod, tapping the mirror. "Good. Baby steps. You'll survive, Rin. He's out there, doing his thing. And we'll deal with the rest when he gets back—or if we catch up to him first."
"Alright-"
Rin let out an exasperated sigh, water rippling around her. "…Junyeong, just… go. You're not needed here anymore." Her voice was calm, but every word carried the weight of irritation and exhaustion.
Junyeong's grin didn't falter. He gave a casual shrug, as if taking offense wasn't even an option. "Ah, fine, fine. Can't blame a guy for trying."
As he began to shimmer, the faint outline of his form starting to blur like smoke, he threw one last glance over his shoulder. "…But seriously… nice tits, nice ass… bet Aruno doesn't even appreciate it half as much as he should."
And just like that, the shimmer swallowed him, leaving only a faint trace of light behind. He was gone.
Rin closed her eyes, muttering under her breath. "…What a complete idiot…" She let the water settle, the quiet of the room returning, but the absurdity of Junyeong's parting words lingered annoyingly in her mind.
"He doesn't… he doesn't see me like that, right…?"
"I mean… I've been around him forever, but he's always… so… focused."
"Focused on what? Fighting? Protecting everyone? Ugh, never me. Not like that. Definitely not like that."
"Not once… has he ever looked at me like that, has he?"
"And even if he did… no, no, no, stop it, Rin. Stop. Just… stop thinking!"
"But he's so stubborn! And annoying! And somehow… infuriatingly attractive? Ugh, why does that even matter?"
"Why does it matter that he's so… so… ugh, stupidly good at everything? Why does it make my stomach twist like this?"
"And his stupid face! And that stupid smirk! And that stupid way he just… does what he wants!"
"He's not thinking about me, obviously not, he's thinking about… Aruno stuff… fights… missions… power-ups… stupid, stupid everything!"
"But what if he does notice me?"
"No, no, no! He wouldn't. He couldn't! He's Aruno! The Ghost! My friend… I mean, my—ugh! Stop it, Rin!"
"And if he did… what would I even do? I'd probably… faint? Or say something dumb? Or… just stand there like an idiot!"
"Oh gods, why am I even thinking about this? It's ridiculous. Totally ridiculous."
"And he's probably… probably not even noticing me. I bet he's not even thinking about me at all!"
"But sometimes… sometimes I think he's looking. Or maybe he's not. Maybe I just imagine it."
"And even imagining it… my heart… ugh, it's beating like a drum. Stop it, Rin, stop it right now!"
"And his stupid hair! And his stupid eyes! And… why does he even have to be perfect?!"
"And that stupid way he walks, all confident, all… everything. Ugh! I hate it! And yet… I don't hate it."
"Why am I even talking to myself like this? I'm alone! There's no one here to hear me! Why can't I stop?"
"And if he ever… ever noticed me… what would I even do? I'd probably—ugh, no, no, no, stop!"
"And what if he never does? What if I'm just… forever stuck… thinking about him… forever?!"
"Oh gods, that's terrifying. That's so scary. Why am I even…?"
"And his stupid stupid stupid voice! And the way he laughs! Ugh, shut up, Rin, shut up!"
"And what if he's already moved on? What if he's… thinking about someone else? Oh gods, no, no, no!"
"And what if I want him to notice me… but I shouldn't? Because it's Aruno… and he's… him! Ugh, I can't even… I can't…"
"Oh, and the way he fights… and the way he doesn't even notice me while doing it… ugh!"
"And I just… I just want him to… ugh! Stop thinking about it! Stop! Stop!"
"And his stupid stubbornness! And that stupid stubborn way he just… does whatever he wants! And I can't even… I can't even handle it!"
"And what if… what if he'd never see me that way? What if… I'm… stuck? Ugh, Rin, shut up! Just… shut up!"
"His stupid hands! And his stupid stupid body! And his stupid… ugh, stop it, stop it, stop it!"
"And what if he notices me and I freak out? And what if he thinks I'm… ugh, I can't… I just can't!"
"And what if I… secretly hope he notices me? Ugh, I hate that part of me!"
"And if he did… oh gods, I'd probably melt into a puddle of embarrassment right now. I… I can't… I can't even imagine!"
"And his stupid smile! And his stupid everything! Ugh! Why is he so… so everything?!"
"And I'm… I'm just… me. I'm just Rin. Not amazing. Not special. Not… enough for him. Ugh, I hate this! I hate myself thinking about it!"
"And if he ever… noticed me… I'd… I'd probably die of embarrassment!"
"And if he never… noticed me… I'd… I'd just… cry? Or scream? Or… something stupid!"
"Oh gods, why am I… oh gods, oh gods, oh gods!"
Rin's hands moved before she even realized it, slick and trembling, drawn by the impossible thought of him—Aruno. Gods, why does he have to be like this? So infuriating, so… so perfect…
She whispered, almost to herself, I can't… I shouldn't… but yes… just like that… The water rippled around her as she leaned back, lost in the heat of her own imagination.
He'd never look at me like this… never… but oh, if he did… Her breaths grew shallow. Every imagined touch, every imagined glance sent shivers down her spine, and she pressed further, letting her body react to what her mind couldn't control.
"Oh… Aruno… why… why like this?!" Her voice was barely a whisper, trembling. I shouldn't… I shouldn't…
Her pulse thundered in her ears. She could feel herself spiraling, every thought, every fantasy clawing at her restraint. Yes… right there… no, stop… but don't… oh gods…
And then—snap!
Rin's eyes flew open. Water splashed over the edge of the tub as she jerked back, hands moving away as if burned. "What… what am I doing?!" she gasped, face burning.
She pressed her palms to her face, cheeks hot, heart hammering. Get it together, Rin… he's not… he's not… oh gods… what the hell am I thinking?!
Rin sank back slightly, water sloshing around her as she pressed her face into her hands. Wait… why am I talking to the gods? Her thoughts snapped like a brittle twig. We hate those. FUCK THEM. I don't need anyone telling me what to feel or how to think.
Her chest heaved, breath coming in sharp, uneven pulls. And why am I even thinking about him like that? He's Aruno! The Ghost! My friend, my… ugh, forget it!
She rubbed her eyes, blinking rapidly as if she could scrub away the heat burning through her veins. I'm alone here. I don't need anyone—no gods, no Aruno, no…
A shaky laugh escaped her throat, bitter and self-directed. Of course, that didn't stop my own brain from dragging me into the middle of it. Typical, Rin. Always falling into your own traps.
Her hands lingered on her face for a moment longer, then dropped to the water, letting her fingers skim the surface. Steam curled around her like a ghostly curtain, wrapping her in the fog of her own frustration and desire.
Okay. Breathe. Think. Focus. Stop thinking about him. Stop thinking about the gods. Stop thinking about… me, apparently, doing stupid shit.
Her eyes lifted, staring at the ceiling as if the tiles themselves could answer her questions. I can't… I can't let this spiral. I'm not… I'm not helpless. I don't need to be.
Yet, even as she tried to ground herself, the memory of Junyeong's smirk, Aruno's impossible presence, and the insane heat of her own imagination lingered like an echo she couldn't quite shake.
Fine. I'll deal with it. Alone. Like always. Fuck them. Fuck this. Fuck… everything for a little while.
Rin pushed herself upright in the tub, water cascading down her arms, legs, and chest, trying to wash away the shame, the heat, the ridiculousness. Her reflection in the small mirror caught her eye, the faint pink flush across her cheeks, the wild hair sticking to her neck.
Yeah. That's right. I'm Rin. I handle my own messes. Gods don't get a say. Aruno doesn't get a say. Me? I do.
And with that, she finally let herself exhale, long and slow, as if the sound itself could sweep away the lingering tension. She would stand. She would move. And, most importantly, she would think about something else—anything else.
No gods. No Ghost. No… stupid thoughts. Just… me.