Chapter 120: Stealing a Plane
"Bang, bang, bang..." The agents who had recovered their composure opened fire on the pickup truck as if venting their frustration, but in the end they fired uselessly, only sending sparks flying off both doors of the pickup.
"Oh God, oh God..." Kevin, who was tossed in the back seat, cowered left and right while screaming in terror.
"What should we do with him?" Ron jerked his thumb at Kevin in the back: "According to standard IRS protocol for dealing with traitors, we should hog-tie him with rope and toss him out, then place bets on whether he gets dragged to death by the truck or shot first by our pursuers."
"Either way he's dead! What's the difference? Please tell me you're joking!" Kevin complained loudly with indignation.
"You think I'm joking?" Ron turned around with a sinister grin. Kevin screamed in terror and curled up into a ball in the back seat.
"He actually would do that," Hobbs turned around and patted the terrified Kevin reassuringly: "But he won't do it to you - you're my buddy."
Ron complained in exasperation: "I honestly don't get why we're dragging dead weight on an operation like this. Can he help us storm LAX and hijack a jetliner?"
"No, no, no," Hobbs quickly shut down Ron's insane idea: "A small Cessna will get us to Boston just fine - we don't need to hit the international airport! Are you seriously planning to jack a Boeing 737?! You'll have the National Guard breathing down our necks!"
"Damn it, why did I ever agree to come with you guys... forget it, I'm in, I'm in, okay? Just don't throw me out of the truck." Kevin was shaken by Ron's unhinged proposal. Realizing Ron was genuinely crazy, he could only surrender.
"YES!" Ron and Hobbs high-fived in celebration. Kevin now felt like he was being punk'd.
...
Outside the private airfield, Kevin nervously peered inside, then quickly pulled back. "There's only one security guard in there."
"Easy enough - I'll just take him out." Ron impatiently pulled out his .357, but Hobbs grabbed his wrist.
"Dude, remember what I told you? This is supposed to be covert. We need to keep casualties to a minimum. That's just some innocent rent-a-cop."
At Hobbs's pointed look, Ron holstered his piece. "Fine, so what's your brilliant plan?"
"Listen up," Hobbs turned to Kevin. "Ninety percent of espionage is misdirection. You distract that guard, and we'll boost the plane."
"What?" Kevin looked dumbfounded. He pointed at himself, then sized up the guard's build. "Hobbs, you expect me to... wait, where'd he go?"
"Hobbs? He's already prepping the aircraft." Ron glanced absent-mindedly toward where Hobbs had disappeared.
He finally got it. The guy had some serious stones. Here he was, a wanted fugitive, and he still had the energy to train his old high school buddy in spycraft.
"Ninety percent of espionage is about misdirection, then seizing your opportunity to get what you need." Wasn't that straight out of some CIA training manual?
It seemed like Hobbs was really putting his college roommate through spy school 101.
"Then why don't you go?"
"Why should I?" Ron shrugged. "Manual labor doesn't suit a man of my caliber. I'm way more interested in seeing how you'll distract that guard than watching some big guy wrestle with an airplane."
"Alright, just watch this!" Kevin, provoked by Ron's challenge, felt his Jersey pride kick in. He glanced around, grabbed a blue cooler from the ground, and strutted inside. Ron followed close behind.
He had to see what this little guy was cooking up.
"Sir, you can't come in here. This is a private airfield."
Kevin, undaunted, set the cooler on the counter. "Hey, I need a plane."
"Like I said, this is a private airfield."
"I know, but I've got an organ in this cooler that needs emergency transport." Kevin spun his tale with complete conviction, and if Ron hadn't just watched him randomly grab that cooler, he might've actually bought it.
This little guy's got some real talent.
"Really?" The guard looked skeptical. "Because my brother-in-law had a heart transplant last year, and I know they don't use Igloo coolers to transport organs."
"I didn't want to get into specifics, but..." Caught in his lie, Kevin showed no embarrassment whatsoever. Instead, he said gravely, "This isn't a heart."
The guard crossed his arms. "Not a heart? Then what is it?"
"Well, it's an adult male's... member."
"Pfft!" Ron couldn't help but crack up laughing, and Kevin shot him a disgusted look.
"Now I'm curious." Even though the guard could tell Kevin was bullshitting, he couldn't bring himself to kick him out. After all, what guy wouldn't want to hear this wild story, even knowing it was fake?
"No need to ask questions," Kevin cut off the guard, his face heavy with mock sorrow as he launched into his story: "Last night, this woman and her boyfriend got into a huge fight..."
"Bahahaha..." Ron was doubled over laughing, slapping the wall. "I take it back. You're not completely useless. With skills like that, you're wasting your talent not doing stand-up in Vegas."
Ron's laughter earned him death glares from both Kevin and the guard.
Meanwhile, Hobbs had emerged from the hangar, rolling out a small aircraft. He gave them a thumbs-up through the window, a sight so ridiculous that Ron had to shield his eyes.
"Sir, there's no need for that kind of disrespect..." Kevin shook his head disapprovingly.
"I don't believe a word you're saying. Let me take a look." The guard interrupted Kevin.
"Of course I'll show you. But brace yourself, and you might want to get a magnifying glass." Kevin opened the cooler, and just as the guard leaned in to peek, Ron quickly reached out and grabbed the guard's head, slamming it hard onto the counter.
"THUNK!" The guard was out cold.
Kevin jumped up and down, complaining indignantly, "Hey! Hobbs said no casualties!"
"Relax, he's just taking a nap. Besides, who said that big lug was calling the shots?" Ron sneered dismissively. With a quick glance, he spotted what was actually in the cooler and happily reached in to grab it.
It was a snake.
"HOLY SHIT!" Kevin jumped back in terror, while Ron was absolutely delighted.
(End of chapter)
If you enjoyed this chapter, leave a Power Stone or Review!
P@atreon/Soulforger (45+ advanced chapters)
Buy me coffee - ko-fi*com/soulforger01