"Mom, did you ever really consider me as your son?" A deep voice vibrated through the long dining hall as if a bomb dropped into a calm atmosphere, and made every breath in the room freeze.
The woman in the green turtleneck slowly looked up at the boy standing before her—no, not a boy anymore. A man stood in front of her, challenging her entire life in one sharp moment.
With a wave of her hand, she dismissed everyone in the room: the guards, the bodyguard, the maids. Only one person did not leave, stood there with a stubborn face declaring his presence here.
Serena Rhaengon was known as a cold intimidating woman, never fazed even at death's door, never flinched, a true ironwoman But today, standing in front of her own blood felt heavier than anything in the past fifty years of her life. Is it because she was growing old now?
She stood up slowly, clutching her shawl tightly around her shoulders like it was the only comfort she had left.
The unwanted stubborn man opened his mouth, "Sister, you don't look well. We will—"
Serena silenced the man beside her with a simple gesture, then turned her attention back to the boy— no, the man standing in front of her.
"Go on."
Rain felt the lump in his throat tighten. Between him and his mother, there was a cold wall. It wasn't the type to build over putting unnecessary boundaries between a mother and a son. They laughed, played, cried together. But the memories they built together, none of them ever broke through it.
"I..." He cleared his throat. This woman standing in front of him is not just his mother. Six monthes ago, he wouldn't dare think of questioning her, not even in his wildest dreams. Now is different.
Regardless of how terrible the situation was, wherever they were, this woman carried herself with dignity. When everything went wrong, she wrapped herself in a cold, unbreakable shield—not just for herself, but for the entire organization.
But... was it really a shell she was forced to wear? Or did she throw away the warmth she once had to reveal the steel underneath? Which one should he trust to be her real face under the mask?
How can I do nothing but to question this seemingly unknown woman presented before me?
But also... wasn't she the same woman who held him in her arms while bullets rained around them?
But also, the one who put a gun in his small hand when he should've been playing computer games?
But also, the mother who gave birth to him, raised him with her own sweat and blood?
But also—
"How could you create such a criminal out of your own son?" The boy's voice shook for a brief moment.
"You're crossing the line, b—" the man beside Serena roared.
"Don't speak between us, Uncle Jay."
Serena's voice deepened as she lifted her chin. "Tell me, Rain. Do you think I did not, or do not, have the power to take my own revenge? Why would I spend years turning my son into a weapon to achieve my goals?"
She stepped closer and gently stroked his cheek, "I never needed a weak child who'd only stand in my way of leading this organization."
"Then why couldn't you have just, just left me for a good life? What kind of mother does that?"
It was a unchangeable and undeniable confrontation. But Serena did not expect it to come so soon, like a thunderbolt, unexpected. "Do you regret it? Do you regret to be raised as my son?"
Rain gazed at her face as if trying to know what's inside his mother's eyes, what truly resides inside of her, not the ones she is so used to to use for her gains. All he could find was a few wrinkles on his mother's forehead, showing up above in her always straight eyebrows.
Maybe Serena could read her son's eyes better than anyone in the world. She deliberately stepped back pulling her half-fallen shawl back over her shoulder.
"That man's wish is the reason I kept going. He wouldn't want this...." She murmured, "And your well-being... that's the only thing keeping me alive."
Her tone softened, "Rain, I did not want this life either."
"But, you chosed father, didn't you?"
"I was foolish. And maybe I still am." A deep sigh escaped her mouth.
She didn't wait for a reply. Slowly, she turned and walked away—into the dark hallway that seemed to mirror her, disappearing into the shadows bit by bit until nothing of her remained.
There's a saying, the lamp can illuminate a whole room, except its bottom, the ground its sole existence stands on.
And yet, she had chosen to rule the darkness instead of letting it consume her.
Zain didn't look away.
That was the kind of woman Serena Rhaengon was, the wife of the founder of Rhaegons, Johan Rhaengon—the man she built this underground empire with, brick by brick. The man for whom she poured her soul into every part of this life.
Zain lowered his head and shook it, again and again.
He still couldn't reach her—not this time either.
******************************************************************
The room was soaked in a deep shade of emerald green—so much that it felt otherworldly.
Serena sat before the tea table, her gaze locked onto the portrait hidden beneath a silk green curtain, longing fir something unreached.
"Want me to pull the veil off?"
She flinched slightly. So, he did follow her till here—thought she wouldn't be alright, huh?
"No," Serena exhales, "He shouldn't see all of this."
She paused for a moment, then added, "Jay, you're getting old. Why don't you leave?"
Jay's forehead scruched, "leave? Where?"
"I can make it happen, you know well."
"I failed to secure a decent life for his precious ones. You think I'll do that?" The man in his late forties go over the bed, straightening the sheet, "one thing you can do is to be a bit less messy."
Serena stayed silent, smiling at him almost in a pitiful way. But the silence spoke for him.
It was all because of him, Jay carried burdens he was never asked to take.
After a long pause, his tall frame finally moved. He started to brew her tea with a skilled hand, "If you want... I can just finish her off."
Serena's lips escaped a quick snicker. She waved the offer away.
"Jay, you've been through enough. Far more than me. But still... you never really understood how love works, did you? Or is it your love for your nephew made your judgement blurry?"
His head lowered a bit as he handed her the cup.
"He's my son. I can't steal his happiness away. Johan wouldn't want that."
"If, he's really your son and, that's the sole reason to erase her from his life." Jay's rough voice hardened.
Serena almost laughed loudly, the shook her head a few times.
Jay fixed his eyes on the strange, vintage carpet as his voice showed down, "You shouldn't have gotten your hands dirty. It never suited you."
"It doesn't matter, does it?" Serena replied, sipping the tea slowly. "Life isn'tabout chosing as you wish. Mine simply lead me to this path."
Jay's gaze searched for something inside her, something buried beneath that tough armor. Is there any of that girl's left inside this mechanical woman?
He couldn't understand. Sometimes just a flicker of light reflects like sand just like this moment, just to drawn deeper into the quicksand.
He never understood love, Nor the woman sitting in front of him. And yet, it was love that had destroyed both of them.
That destruction had a name: Johan Rhaengon— The man who taught them the meaning of life, who gave them hope, and then vanished like he never existed.
All he left behind were traces in the hearts of the woman and man who remained as good as living corpses, holding onto the the mere illusion of his selfish desire for them to lead a long life— Traces that turned into scars. Scars that never stopped bleeding, and could never be repaired. It could only stain others around them.