Aria's Pov
I wasn't sure which one was scarier—the tall snake-woman glaring down at me with her thick arms crossed or her equally terrifying sister whose hair alone could probably choke me to death. Either way, I was standing in front of Sandersonia and Marigold, and neither looked impressed.
"I'm not a spy," I blurted, throwing my hands up. "I don't like men."
Okay, that wasn't entirely true—I liked men very much, in certain ways—but I wasn't about to clarify.
Sandersonia's lips curled. "You entered the island under false pretenses. You pretended to be a warrior. That is reason enough to kill you."
Marigold's voice rumbled like a storm. "Spies must die. The laws are absolute."
"Wait, wait, wait," I said, waving my hands so wildly I nearly smacked myself in the face. "Before we get to the execution part, maybe I can…prove myself?"
"Prove?" Sandersonia arched a brow. "How?"
And there it was—the big blank void in my brain. I had nothing. Zero. Zip. Nada.
"I, uh…" I stalled, grinning way too brightly for someone about to be impaled. "I could, uh… shake my ass? Show off some moves? Demonstrate the art of… uh… seduction?" I winked dramatically, which looked way cooler in my head than it did in real life.
Marigold's face remained stone still. "You waste our time."
"I am so good at wasting time," I babbled. "Ask literally anyone who knows me."
They stared.
Sweat prickled at the back of my neck. My brain scrambled for excuses. "Look, all I'm saying is… if I were a spy, would I really be this obvious? Spies are smooth, stealthy, dangerous. Me?" I pointed at myself. "I trip over coconuts and can't open fruit without injuring myself. Does that sound spy-like to you?"
Sandersonia's lips quirked into what might've been the beginnings of a smile. But just as quickly, it vanished. "We should kill her now. Enough games."
Marigold nodded, her massive arms flexing as if preparing to snap me in half.
Panic shot through me like a lightning bolt.
Their eyes hardened. They leaned forward—predators circling prey.
And then—
"Her Highness has returned!"
The voice rang from the entrance.
I froze. Oh no. Oh hell no.
Boa Hancock was back.
My stomach sank and my heartbeat went haywire. I'd known this was coming, but nothing could've prepared me for it. The empress herself. One of the most beautiful women in One Piece. And one of the nastiest personalities.
Don't get me wrong—she was stunning. Ridiculously so. The kind of woman who made everyone else feel like potato sacks. But also? Let's not forget: kicked a cat. Almost killed her own people. Walked around acting like the world was beneath her because she was hot.
I bit my lip. To be fair—trauma explained some of it. She and her sisters had suffered more than anyone should. But that didn't excuse all of it.
Still, I reminded myself, I wasn't here to moralize. I was here to live out the bisexual dream.
And if that meant trying to deal with her rotten personality with some quality Aria-brand charm… then damn it, I'd give it a go.
The grand doors opened.
There she was.
Boa Hancock swept into the room, long hair trailing like midnight silk, her figure enough to make my bisexuality burst into fireworks. She moved with the lazy confidence of someone who knew every eye was on her and loved it.
When her gaze landed on me, her lips curled. She didn't even ask questions—she just lifted her hand.
"Mero Mero Mellow!"
Oh shit.
My eyes went wide as a pink, heart-shaped beam shot toward me. My heart raced. This was it—I was about to be turned into a statue for eternity, like some tragic Greek myth character who made too many bad jokes.
I actually considered fleeing—wishing myself out of there and declaring the mission a failure. Screw Amazon Lily, screw hot women, screw—
The beam hit me.
And… nothing.
I blinked. Looked down at myself. Still fleshy. Still mobile. Still hot.
Relief flooded me so hard I almost collapsed. "Oh thank god."
The entire room gasped.
Hancock's perfect brows furrowed. "Impossible. No one resists my beauty."
I snorted before I could stop myself. "Well, don't take it too personally. You're gorgeous, yeah, but I know a few others who rank higher on my list. Honestly, you're like… top five at best."
Her head snapped back like I'd slapped her.
Gasps echoed around the hall. Her sisters' jaws dropped.
Sandersonia whispered, "She insults the Empress?"
Oh, I was already dead. No sense backtracking now.
Hancock's voice was cold, venomous. "You dare compare me unfavorably to anyone?"
I crossed my arms, emboldened by my newfound immunity. "I dare. And while we're at it, kicking cats? Seriously? Rotten move."
"You… wretched—"
"Don't get me wrong," I continued quickly, words tumbling out, "you're hot enough to make half the world scream, but personality counts too, sweetheart. And yours? Rotten to the core. Rotten like an apple left in the sun. Rotten like—"
"Silence!"
We were nose-to-nose now, well, as close as I could get without craning my neck like a giraffe. Her eyes blazed. Mine probably sparkled with reckless idiocy.
"You will regret those words," she hissed.
"Oh, I regret a lot already. Add it to the list."
We bickered. I don't even remember half of what was said—I just know it was vicious, sass versus venom, my sarcasm bouncing off her pride.
By the end, the sisters looked stunned, like they'd witnessed the clash of two natural disasters.
Finally, Hancock flicked her hair back with a scoff. "Enough. I will test this insolent girl myself. Privately."
"Test me?" I repeated, arching a brow. "What are we talking here? Oral exams? Combat? Hot yoga?"
Her glare could've set me on fire. "If you do not meet my requirements… you will still be executed."
My mouth went dry. Oh right. Just because her fruit didn't work on me didn't mean I was safe. This was a warrior island. They had bows, arrows, spears—basically every sharp thing under the sun.
I forced a shaky smile.
I was so screwed.