"I'll leave you to it," Melissa says, touching my shoulder, then heading back out into the hall, and closing the door behind her.
Once she's gone the room feels giant. The silence has weight.
"Thank you for coming to see me, Max," Jericho says, the deep bass tone of his voice vibrating in my chest like a subwoofer.
Does he think I came here just to speak with him? Sorry, sir, I actually came to see if your son wants to date me.
He lowers his eyes and lifts a brow knowingly as if he just read my mind.
"I'm sure you have other business to attend to," he says. "So I won't keep you long."
Can he read my mind?!
I glance around the room. Three of the walls are made entirely out of glass. Perfect blue skies surround us. With all these windows it almost feels like we're floating.
The decor is minimal which only adds to the immense openness of the space. The colors are muted, greys and deep olive greens. A monochrome rug lies in the middle of the room with the square footage of a small country.
Jericho's desk is backlit by the sun streaming in through the glass.
The shadows make it appear like a stone altar. The kind they tie sacrificial lambs to.
"Please," he says, gesturing to one of the uncomfortable-looking chairs in front of him. "Sit."
On his order, my feet move. He watches me with a keen, discerning eye.
Is he judging me by my walk? Am I swinging my arms too much?
Slumping down into one of his chairs, I wrap my arms around myself and look up at my alpha.
He grins and whispers conspiratorially, "Don't worry. I won't bite."
"Oh," I laugh awkwardly and force my arms to uncross themselves.
Jericho chuckles and I start to feel a little calmer. He sits, placing his gargantuan arms on the desk and linking his fingers so they make the shape of a chapel.
"I wanted to say thank you, Max. For what you did the other night."
I shuffle awkwardly in my seat.
"It was nothing really."
"Not at all," he says. "You were very brave. I might not be here right now if it weren't for you."
"Well," I say, grinning like a weirdo, "I only did what anyone would do. I'm glad you're feeling better."
Jericho turns his head ever so slightly and stares at me from the corner of his eye.
I grip the arms of the chair. My palms have become more clammy than clam chowder.
"I also want to apologize," he says.
This statement hits me for six. What could the alpha possibly have to apologize for?
"What...why?" I stammer.
"For weeks now I've sensed that something has changed in Jasper's life. Something important. And I think...no, I know I had an inkling what that change might be."
Oh Moon Gods, he's talking about me!
"But I couldn't bring myself to face the truth so I ignored it. I even tried to force his hand."
A shadow crosses Jericho's face and for a second his shave looks a little less close, the lines around his eyes are a little more ingrained.
"You're a good man. Your parents have raised you well."
"Yeah, they're great."
"Indeed." He nods.
"You...know my parents?"
Jericho leans forward slightly, the seams of his dress shirt strain as his muscles bulge.
"I know every wolf in my pack. Some more intimately than others.
But I care for all of them, without discriminating."
His brow rises when he says the word 'discriminating' like he wants me to catch his drift. I was never very good at baseball, so I just stare at him blankly.
Suddenly, Jericho leans back, erupting into a hearty chuckle.
"We wolves are not as prehistoric as you may think," he says mid-laugh. "I should have seen what was right under my nose. No, you aren't what I pictured when I imagined the person my son would wind up with for a mate."
There it is, the cards on the table.
"But you've proven to me that you have what it takes to support my son."
The heat in my cheeks could incinerate solid steel. I haven't even told my parents about Jasper and me and here is the alpha of the pack giving me his blessing...wait, is he giving his blessing?
"Thank you, sir."
Wait, is this why Jasper asked me to come here? Because we have the go-ahead from his dad?
Suddenly, I reeeaaaally want to have that talk with him.
"You're a good kid, Max."
"Thanks…?"
"You probably think I'm overly tough on my son."
"I...I…" I splutter and throw my hands about. If he can read my mind then he already knows what I think of his tough-love approach to parenting.
"But I want you to know," he continues. "I'm hard on Jasper because I need to be. Because one day he will be the one sitting behind this desk. Leading this pack. Last week we came closer to that eventuality than I'd like."
Jericho locks his eyes on mine and I feel like a statue, frozen by his stare.
"Being an alpha isn't easy," he says, not breaking eye contact. "And neither is being mated to one."
I hold my breath and nod my head like a stunned guppy. "Uh-huh."
Then a grin creeps into the corner of Jericho's lips. "But I have a feeling you might be up to the task."
I guffaw. Is he serious?
"I know you'll take good care of him, Max. I've seen what you're capable of." He leans forward one last time. "Don't let me down."
I shake my head from side to side. "No way, sir. I...I won't, I promise."
Alpha Jericho nods and smiles. "Good. Now go and find him."
"Yes, sir," I say, nearly tripping as I stand and back out of the room.
"And thanks, again!"
The second I'm out of the alpha's office I start running. I'm already puffed by the time I get back to the entrance hall, heading for Jasper's room.
Why is this house so freaking big?!
I arrive at his doorway, bent over and out of breath.
"Max!" Jodie yells excitedly and rushes toward me. She grabs me around the waist and hugs me tightly. "I'm so glad you're okay!"
After a second of hesitation, I hug her back. Apparently, we're best friends now, which is fine with me.
"I'm glad to see you're okay," I say. I look into Jasper's room, hoping to find him watching my interaction with Jodie, smiling. But instead my heart sinks.
Jasper isn't here.
"Hey, dude," Aisha says. She's sitting on Jasper's bed with a stack of Uno cards in front of her.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, prying Jodie off and heading inside.
"I came to visit Jasper and this little monster. I wanted to make sure everyone was doing fine after the whole––," she mouths the words, "rogue thing."
"We're doing fine," Jodie chimes in. "My daddy got hurt but Max saved him."
I put my hands up in surrender. "Whoa, I didn't do that much."
"Jasper says you drove the boat and helped him stop that crazy girl."
"Did he say that?" I ask.
"Uh-huh!"
"You're a real hero," Aisha says, grinning at me.
"Well then so are you," I say. "You rode in to save our butts like the fudging coast guard!"
Jodie hops back on the bed and Aisha takes my hand.
"It's really nice to see you," she says.
"You too," I say, then nudging Jodie's shoulder, "and you."
"How is everything?" I ask Aisha, as Jodie picks up her cards and starts rearranging them.
"Fine," she says. "Rehearsals are in full swing, although my left ankle is a little sore from where one of those guys kicked it."
"At least they're locked up now, right?"
"Amen, to that."
"And Troy? How's he doing?"
"You can't keep him down for long." She throws her hair over her shoulder casually. "He's back to his normal self, chatting about biomolecular chemistry or biomes or echo-location-something-or-other."
"Still making ramen?" I ask, remembering how delicious Aisha's boyfriend's cooking is.
"Always." She smiles and tilts her head, glancing at me sideways.
"But we're not the ones you came to visit, are we?"
I shove my hands in my pockets, suddenly bashful.
"Not that it isn't a mega happy surprise," I say. "But I was hoping to chat with Jasper."
"Thought as much." Aisha winks at me. "He's down at the beach."
"That's weird. He knew I was coming."
"Melissa told him you'd been summoned to his dad's office and he…" "He freaked out didn't he?"
She holds up a finger and a thumb with a gap between them the size of a grain of rice. "Little bit."
We both laugh as we share a knowing look. Then Aisha rubs my arm and says, "Go get him, baby."
I smile and head for the ocean.
The wind is rustling across the grass-topped dunes. I follow the path between them, letting my shoes sink into the sand.
The smell of salt is fresh and the roar of the waves is constant. The sun is beginning to set, casting hues of pastel orange, pink, and violet across the sky.
Jasper is standing halfway down the shore, facing the horizon––his hair ruffled by the ocean breeze.
"Jasper!"
He looks back over his shoulder and spots me.
"You're here," he says as if he's surprised I've stuck around. His eyes are glinting like the sea, catching flecks of sunlight.
"Yeah." I rub the back of my neck.
"I thought maybe my dad would…" "You thought he'd scare me off," I say. Jasper nods subtly. "Nah.
The only thing I'm scared of is spiders."
He smiles lightly but doesn't say anything. For a moment we stand silently as the waves lap at the shore. I eye him questioningly.
"You wanted to talk."
"Yes," Jasper says. "I wanted to apologize, Max."
Okay, not what I was expecting.
"For what?"
"I haven't been–good to you."
He isn't wrong, but hearing him say it like that makes me feel awkward. I shrug as if to say it's fine.
"No, Max, I haven't," he says, more emphatically. "The truth is I knew who you were to me––or who you would be...the day we met. When you ran into me in the city. I could sense it from the very beginning––that we would be, mates."
Jasper's throat moves as he gulps between sentences.
"But I couldn't bring myself to admit it, because I was too scared. I was scared of disappointing my father but mostly I was scared that I would get hurt."
Jasper's eyes are staring into mine and I start to feel the beach drifting away into my periphery. The sound of the waves dies down and all that's left is him and me and the sand beneath my sneakers.
"When my mother died I didn't know if I would ever be able to feel good again," Jasper says, his eyes darting to the ground. "It took years until I finally felt even the slightest bit okay. Then you showed up in my life and I saw a glimpse of how...good things could be. But then I remembered what it felt like to have that taken away. And I wanted to avoid feeling that again at all costs. So I pushed you away instead."
"You had a lot on your plate," I say quietly.
"That's no excuse," he states firmly. "I've been mean and condescending. I've done everything that I can to try and make you see that I'm not someone worth hanging around for."
Jasper keeps balling his hands into fists, opening and closing them.
"I've been an asshole," he says, which I can't help but laugh at.
Jasper chuckles back at me.
Then he takes a step forward.
"But what I've come to learn––what you've shown me, Max––is that I can't pretend this doesn't exist. I can't pretend that you don't exist and I can't ignore these feelings. Hurting you, I was only hurting myself."
My fingertips are tingling, my arms are longing to reach out and hold him. My heart is racing and my breaths are so shallow I'm lightheaded.
Jasper bows his head a little and stares into my eyes.
"You are my mate, Max. You're––" Before he can finish I kiss him. I press my lips against his.
I've caught him off guard and his lips squash awkwardly against mine. But then he relaxes, parting his lips and welcoming me in.
One of my hands finds the side of his face and the other his hip.
We find our rhythm quickly, despite never having kissed before, as if we were made for kissing each other.
His hair is soft and luscious under my fingers and I crumple slightly as his hands wrap around me––one around my waist and the other over my shoulder. He pulls me closer.
Our mouths move in unison, his lips soft like marshmallows. The sweet, cherry flavor on his tongue floods my senses. Stars erupt behind my eyes, fireworks explode and crackle in my stomach, like I've eaten a whole bag of popping candy.
My body is burning but it feels good...no, it feels freaking amazing!
This kiss is better than any roller coaster I've ever been on, more satisfying than any slice of pepperoni pizza, more thrilling than any video game, or song, or movie.
No wonder people are obsessed with mates. They get to do this whenever they want!
Jasper's hand digs into the small of my back and a happy little moan escapes my mouth.
I could get lost in this kiss. I could drown in it.
And then... just when I'm starting to think I might drown, Jasper pulls back.
The taste of him lingers on my tongue. His hand remains on the side of my face, stroking my cheek with his thumb.
"Max," he says.
I grin. "Hi."
We both chuckle and I take the collar of his white button-down between my thumb and forefinger, and pull on it gently.
This moment is more perfect than I could have imagined.
Then a cloud crosses Jasper's face and his expression turns dark. He drops his hands and turns away from me.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"You are my mate, I can admit that now," he says gravely. "But you have to know we can't be together."
I start shaking my head, my body starts trembling.
"No," I say. "No, Jasper. You always do this. Whenever we get close you pull away. Don't do that now."
"I know," he says without turning around. "I'm sorry."
"I won't let you this time. Not after everything that's––not after that kiss!"
He takes a step away and I panic. I reach out and grab his arm, spinning him violently so that he has to face me. There are tears in his eyes as he stares at the sand.
"I won't let you, Jasper! Do you hear me!? We're mates!"
"I know!" he says, pulling his arm back.
"Then what?" I ask. "What's your problem?"
"It's because we're mates that we can't be together."
The beach is swirling around me, I feel like I've been on a high-speed ferris wheel and I'm going to be sick.
"That doesn't make any sense."
"It does, Max. You saw what happened to you, to my father, to Aisha! All that happened because people were using my mate to get to me."
Jasper won't stop staring at the ground. Coward.
"And they won't stop. People will always want what I have. They'll always come for me."
"So?!"
"Isn't it obvious, Max? Being with me is dangerous. Too dangerous.
I can't put you in that kind of danger."
I take a step back. He can't be serious, can he?
"Isn't that my decision?" I ask, as my heart is swallowed by a black hole.
"No," he says, finally looking me in the eye. "It's mine. And I've already made my mind up. There's no use arguing."
"Is this because you're afraid to let people know that you're into guys? Because you're afraid to let people down? Because––" "The only person I'm afraid to let down is you. And I will. I know I will."
"How can you know that?"
"Because that's what I do! Life with me will only lead to disappointment for you."
"No…" My legs turn to jelly beneath me and it takes all of my strength not to crumple in the sand.
"Max." Jasper steps forward, reaching out as if he knows I could collapse at any second. I knock his hand away.
"How can you do this?" I ask.
He pauses.
"Because I don't know what I'd do if anything bad ever happened to you."
He takes two steps forward until his face is an inch away. He places one hand on either side of my head and rests his forehead against mine.
"I don't want to lose you," I say.
"I don't want to lose you either," he says. "That's why this is the only option. It's better if our connection remains a secret."
I sniff back more tears, wishing he would reconsider, wishing he would just kiss me again.
"I'm sorry, Max," he says, and a tear streaks a silvery trail down his cheek. "This is the only way to keep you safe."
Gently, he places a kiss on my forehead––a kiss full of the words he wants to say but can't, all the promises he wishes he could make but won't.
"See you around," he says, then turns to leave.
I watch him walk back up the shore.
"So that's it?" I call out over the noise of the wind.
Jasper stops and looks back.
"This is the way it has to be," he says.
I look away and bite my lip to stop it from trembling.
"Hey Max, will you do me a favor?"
Jasper is staring at me keenly, but he's crazy if he thinks I owe him anything.
"Stay safe, okay?"
I huff and look away.
"Hey, don't be a bonehead."
I roll my eyes.
"Promise me," he says. "You'll be careful?"
Knowing he cares is little consolation, but there's no use fighting him any longer.
"Okay," I say. "I promise."
"Good."
His expression softens and he nods once before he continues walking.
In a second, Jasper disappears behind the dunes.
My stare lingers on his footprints in the sand.
I turn to face the ocean and sit. I pull my knees up to my chest and watch as the waves come and go.
I scoop up the sand and let it trickle through my fingers.
The sky is halfway between day and night. A deep navy shadow is swallowing up the pastel light.
On the horizon, the moon is peeking above the water, casting its glow across the waves, lighting a path out to sea.
A yellow flickering trail, dancing on the water's surface.
The path between souls.
I feel as if I could walk across it, all the way to the moon's craggy surface. Away from here.
But I won't.
Because the moon has already shown me my path.
My fate is behind me, on the way back to his bedroom––his mind already moving on from thoughts of us.
Even though Jasper has pushed me away time and again, sitting here, I know I can't give up.
Some other wolves might move on, go home and forget they've had the craziest summer of their lives. Chalk it up to experience. Who cares about mates anyway, right?!
Not me. I can't do that. Not when my path is laid out before me.
I'll follow that path with blind persistence. I'll chase him to the ends of the world if I have to.
Jasper may think our story is over.
But he's never met a wolf like me.