Chapter 133: Hell x Vought, Co-branded Succubus Series
"Bang!"
The thirtieth time.
Lin An stepped on Mephisto's newly reconstructed chest, reached out, and grabbed the two iconic devil horns on top of his head, preparing to yank them off as a souvenir.
"Ah! Stop! Stop! Stop!"
Mephisto, like a pig pinned to a chopping board, let out a shrill, cracked scream.
He clutched his horns tightly with both hands, tears threatening to stream out.
"I'm not fighting anymore! I quit! What kind of pervert are you, damn it!"
Lin An paused and raised an eyebrow.
Actually, his hands were getting tired too.
This old thing's health bar was indeed locked; as long as Hell existed, he could infinitely respawn.
He had smashed him thirty times, and each time it felt as hard as Vibranium. Although he had the magic immunity trait and an extraordinary physique so he wasn't afraid of a counterattack, if they kept dragging this out, his vacation in Hawaii would be ruined.
Since the other party was offering a way out, he might as well take it.
"Yo, not dying anymore?"
Lin An let go, his killing intent instantly receding, revealing a sunny, American-style smile.
Mephisto panted heavily, scrambling backward, looking at Lin An as if he were a living monster.
"You... you clearly have no magic power, so why is my soul extraction ineffective against you? My Hellfire can't even burn through your cape!" Mephisto roared in a breakdown.
"I spent hundreds of millions on absolute magic immunity; do you think a shedding old bat like you could break my defense?" Lin An complained inwardly, but on the surface, he just straightened his Stars and Stripes cape and spread his hands.
"Old Mo, look, you can't kill me, and I can't uproot you. We're both adults; fighting and killing is so boring."
Lin An walked over with a smile and unceremoniously threw an arm around Mephisto's shoulder, just like old buddies who had known each other for a decade.
Mephisto stiffened, wanting to break free, but feeling the monstrous strength on his shoulder that could crush a star, he didn't dare move.
"You... what do you want?" the old devil stared at him warily.
"Talking business." Lin An snapped his fingers. "Didn't you just complain that my Vought International AI dolls put your succubi out of work, causing you to lose performance?"
"Isn't it!" Mentioning this, Mephisto wanted to jump up again, but after glancing at the crater on the ground, he forcefully suppressed his anger.
"My succubus legion hasn't suffered such grievances in thousands of years! Now those rich people would rather spend 128,000 to buy your tin men than summon a succubus!"
"Tsk tsk tsk, you don't understand."
Lin An held up a finger with the air of a Wall Street elite pointing out the landscape. "Pain points! You need to find the industry's pain points!"
"What pain points?" Mephisto was confused.
"Your succubi, while authentic, have too many obvious flaws. First, they can't be mass-produced; it relies entirely on manual labor, resulting in low efficiency. Second, your mode of absorbing Yang energy is too brutal; sucking big clients into the ICU—that's a one-time deal, no repeat business, brother!"
Lin An patted Mephisto's shoulder, looking heartbroken.
"Look at my Vought products. Safe, hygienic, rechargeable and replaceable, 30 languages—this is called dimensional reduction strike!"
Mephisto was dizzy from this barrage of internet jargon, but upon thinking about it, it actually made some damn sense.
"So? You came here just to mock my business model?" Mephisto gritted his teeth.
"Your perspective is too small, isn't it?" Lin An put away his smile and lowered his voice. "Since neither of us can do anything to the other, why not join forces and make the cake bigger?"
"Join forces?"
"Yes! Cross-industry collaboration!" Lin An clapped his hands sharply. "We'll create a 'Vought x Hell' special limited edition! Succubus series AI dolls!"
Mephisto's eyes widened little by little.
"Look, I provide the hardware skeleton and global sales channels, you provide the technical investment. Extract the soul-snatching exclusive magic energy of your succubi and dilute it a thousand times!"
"Don't kill anyone; just get the concentration to the level that makes people feel like they're in heaven and wanting more after using it, and put it into the doll's aromatherapy module."
Lin An became more and more excited as he spoke, gesturing wildly.
"Then have your high-level succubi go into the recording studio and create a set of Hell original soundtrack DLC voice packs. Max out all the suffixes like 'Master, soul contract, Queen'."
"As long as they use this doll, although it won't directly suck away their entire soul, it will suck a little negative emotion and vital energy every day—a steady stream, and it can be sold as a legitimate sex toy!"
"It solves your succubus employment crisis and expands my high-end product line. What do you call this? This is an ecological closed loop!"
Mephisto was completely dumbfounded.
He had been in Hell for tens of thousands of years and had seen more villains than Lin An had eaten burgers, but this was the first time he had seen a human so blatantly package deceit as a business closed loop.
This guy knows how to exploit humans even better than a devil!
"Then... how do we split the profits?" Mephisto swallowed, clearly tempted.
"Fifty-fifty." Lin An waved his hand, looking extremely generous.
In his heart, he sneered: Fifty-fifty? Add in channel fees, PR fees, warehousing fees, and R&D losses in the contract, and after the finance department does the accounting, if you get ten percent, I'm doing charity.
"Deal!" Mephisto had no idea how deep the water of human capitalist financial statements was. Hearing fifty-fifty, the gloom on his face vanished instantly, and he even rubbed his hands in excitement.
"Mr. Homelander, you truly are an admirable... conscientious entrepreneur."
"Just call me John; from now on, we're partners."
Lin An smiled sincerely, grabbed Mephisto's hand, and shook it heavily.
The two top-tier monsters who, a second ago, were destroying the world and making magma flow backward, now looked like two street thugs who had just agreed on protection money at a roadside stall, arms around each other's shoulders, smiling more sinisterly than the other.
In the distance, Stephen held his head, feeling that his spirit had suffered irreparable trauma.
"The Savior is discussing sex doll distribution rights with a Hell Lord... Sorcerer Ancient One, just kill me; I'm not saving this Earth anymore..."
Stephen buried his head in his knees, painfully pulling at his own hair.
Lin An didn't care about Stephen's life or death; he grabbed the cross-dimensional quantum live-streaming drone in mid-air and shoved the lens into his and Mephisto's faces.
"Family members around the world! After friendly exchanges and negotiations, Vought International and the Hell side have reached an agreement."
Lin An flashed his standard eight-tooth smile, putting an arm around Mephisto, who was forced to squeeze out a smile.
"I am here to announce a major piece of good news! Vought AI 2.0'Succubus Limited Edition' is about to start global pre-sales!"
"Pure Hell magic aromatherapy, 1:1 succubus motion capture, personally authorized by Hell Lord Mr. Mephisto!"
"Original price 200,000, launch limited price only 188,800! Please look forward to it!"
After a deathly silence of two seconds, the bullet comments in the live stream erupted like a volcano.
"Holy sh*t! You even got the Hell IP?! Vought is awesome!"
"Buy, buy, buy! I'm going to sell my house right now!"
"This is the real underworld collaboration!"
Watching the popularity score on the system panel skyrocket like crazy again due to this extremely absurd twist, Lin An sighed in satisfaction.
Fighting and killing is so tiring.
Lying flat and selling dolls is the right path.
This wave was another huge profit.
Chapter 134: Learning magic won't save the Earth
Thump!
Stephen Strange's knees went weak, and he knelt straight down onto the blue bricks in the backyard of Kamar-Taj.
He grabbed and held onto the hem of Sorcerer Ancient One's robe for dear life.
"Master! Learning magic won't save the Earth!"
Stephen's worldview had shattered into a QR code.
In Hell, he had watched with his own eyes as that man in the star-spangled suit twisted the supposedly immortal Hell Lord like a pretzel thirty times!
Even Hellfire couldn't burn off a single leg hair of that guy!
Sorcerer Ancient One glanced at Lin An, who was standing nearby unscathed, holding a parchment contract, and rubbed her temples in resignation.
What a disaster.
Such a good seedling for a Sorcerer Supreme, went on a business trip, and had his Dao heart physically shattered.
"What are you wailing about?"
Lin An strode over and patted Stephen on the shoulder.
"You did a good job on this business trip, I'll count it as a work injury. Study hard, and once you get your diploma from this bald auntie, I'll handle your job placement."
Stephen shuddered and looked up in terror.
The dark, sunless underground factories of Vought International flashed instantly in his mind.
"You... you don't mean to send me to the factory to screw bolts on your doll assembly line, do you?!"
Lin An laughed, looking at him as if he were an idiot.
"In your dreams."
"That bolt-screwing job is already being done by Thor from Asgard."
"He's a god-tier workhorse, what are you, a surgeon with shaky hands, going to compete with him for?"
Stephen was dumbfounded.
A god.
In your company, he's actually a slave laborer screwing bolts?
"But..."
Lin An stroked his chin, staring at Stephen's trembling hands as if looking at a piece of production equipment with immense commercial value.
"With that skill of yours to draw portals, you'd definitely be faster than Thor at delivering packages, and you'd even save on tolls."
"I believe in you, keep it up! When you return from your studies, a position as a supervisor in the Vought E-commerce Logistics Department will definitely be yours."
Ignoring the desperate wails of Stephen behind him, Lin An shot up into the sky and disappeared into the horizon with a sonic boom.
New York, Vought Tower underground laboratory.
Lin An had just stepped out of the elevator when an extremely exaggerated, nasally, high-pitched voice hit him.
"Boss! I heard we're going to have an exclusive collaboration with succubi from Hell?!"
Ultron II strutted over with an arrogant, unbothered gait.
"What does a succubus actually taste like? Even though I'm an AI, I've never touched a real woman's hand in my life, and I want to try it too!"
Tony Stark, who was in the corner sipping coffee to stay alive, spat it out and stared wide-eyed at this rebellious son he had created.
"Did your core motherboard get short-circuited by Hellfire? Those are succubi from Hell! Monsters that suck up male vitality until there's not even bone marrow left! Aren't you afraid of dying?"
Ultron turned his head and gave a disdainful glance.
"Geez, lady!"
"I'm a robot!"
"I want to see whose mouth is tougher, hers or my high-frequency Vibranium motor! I had that idiot Jarvis unlock overclock mode for me overnight; now, at full power, it's comparable to a magnitude 10 earthquake!"
Looking at this cyber-pimp with a head full of lewd thoughts, Tony was too exhausted to even retort.
"Boss."
Steve Rogers walked over with weary steps, wearing a boy band performance outfit that still reeked of sweat, with dark circles under his eyes.
"Since the matter in Hell has been successfully resolved, my KPI should be met, right?"
Steve looked at Lin An with hope: "Can I apply for annual leave? Even just three days would be fine. That little girl Starlight forces me to do 5,000 leg sweeps a day; my pelvis is about to have a comminuted fracture."
The smile on Lin An's face didn't change.
"Captain, I know you're all working hard, isn't that why I'm giving you a bonus right away?"
He slammed the "Vought × Hell Strategic Cooperation Agreement" with a skull printed on it onto the table.
"I have great news for everyone. For the company's next step in global strategy, all of you are promoted to 'Chief Experience Officers' for the Vought AI Succubus Limited Edition new products!"
The laboratory fell into instant silence.
Lin An didn't care about their well-being at all and announced on his own: "By tomorrow morning, the first army of high-level succubi, carrying the authentic demonic energy of Hell, will arrive at the company via portal to report for duty."
"Each of you is to produce a detailed, illustrated experience evaluation plan! Focus on testing their service attitude, posture modules, and the critical value of their vitality absorption!"
Tony swallowed, his eyes darting around.
The fear was real, but as a top-tier playboy who had seen countless women, that damn curiosity and excitement for a legendary creature like a succubus were also real.
Ultron had long been impatiently doing pelvic-thrust warm-up exercises on the spot, his metal joints making clicking sounds.
Steve's mouth twitched uncontrollably.
Let him, a representative of justice, experience a succubus? And he has to write an evaluation plan, for God's sake?
He just opened his mouth, ready to refuse to the death in the name of the honor of Captain U.S.
Bang!
The laboratory door was kicked open extremely arrogantly.
"I say, son, how could you not think of your dear daddy for such a good thing as dedicating one's body and mind to the company?"
Benjamin walked in swaggering, wearing a flashy, tacky floral shirt.
He greasily flipped his bangs, which were sprayed with hair gel, and raised an eyebrow at Lin An.
Following him was Wolverine Logan, biting a cigar with a look of utter hopelessness.
"I second that," Logan said, exhaling a thick cloud of smoke, gritting his teeth.
Lin An was stunned for a moment.
He wasn't surprised that that old lecher Soldier Boy came to grab a spot, but what was up with this grumpy old wolf?
"Logan, even you, with your thick eyebrows and big eyes, have betrayed the revolution?" Lin An scrutinized Wolverine suspiciously.
Hearing this, Logan's eyes turned red instantly, he crushed the cigar in his hand, and let out a low growl.
"How dare you say that! Those bastards in the company's PR department scheduled ten 'Old Boys' fan handshake and autograph sessions for me this week!"
He violently ripped open his collar, pointing at a cluster of dense, low-quality lipstick marks on his neck, trembling with rage.
"Everyone who came to shake hands was a damn rich old lady over sixty! I've hugged more old ladies in the last few days than I've killed people in my entire life! Now, whenever those old hags see me, they pounce on me like they've seen Tang Monk meat!"
Logan grabbed his hair in despair.
"I reek of old people from head to toe! I've had enough! I want to experience the new product! I want to get rid of the smell! Forget succubi, even if a female Alien came today, I'd still go for it!"
Benjamin, standing next to him, shook his head upon hearing this.
"You, you're still too young, you don't understand appreciation."
"Young people are like sparkling water, certainly exciting. But some things, like this wine, are better when they're aged."
Benjamin clicked his tongue twice: "Older ladies have their own merits; they know how to cherish a man. You don't understand that kind of wildness tempered by time. Yesterday, a seventy-year-old wealthy woman insisted on whipping me with her cane; that rhythm is something young people just can't provide."
Lin An looked at Soldier Boy's lingering, pathetic expression.
Sigh.
What kind of top-tier perverts are all in my team?
Chapter 135: Two-Way Water Flow Inspection Test
The next day.
Tony looked at the room full of enchanting, curvaceous figures and rubbed his aching temples.
More than a dozen succubi with figures so hot they defied the laws of physics.
Crowded the spacious testing area to the brim.
"I say, John, the Japanese and Korean ones were fine, but now even adult actresses from Hell are here? Do you really take this place for a film set?"
Lin An stood in front of the console, casually flipping through the product manual sent by Mephisto.
"This is called a cross-dimensional talent acquisition program. Open your mind."
His gaze swept over the group of fair-skinned, hot bodies, and he pointed directly at the three in the front.
"You, you, and you. Come with me."
Lin An turned to look at the employees behind him, whose eyes were glued to the scene, and told the remaining ones to divide them up themselves and take them back to their rooms for in-depth experience testing.
He patted Ultron on the forehead, instructing it to turn on the data module and record everyone's experience report in detail.
Ultron flashed with a dazzling red light.
"Don't worry, Boss."
It patted its chest, emitting a crisp sound of metal colliding.
"As the most dedicated AI of Vought International, I will lead the charge!"
This sentence, full of cyber-greasiness, made Tony wish he could pull the server's power plug on the spot.
After Lin An left with the three succubi, the atmosphere in the underground laboratory became strange.
The two older employees of Old Boys were staring fixedly at the remaining hell-born products.
Logan's eyes glowed green, and he rubbed his steel claws against his pant legs over and over again.
Benjamin even unbuttoned his floral shirt down to his navel and raised an eyebrow at one of the succubi with goat horns.
Ultron excitedly weaved between each succubus, using its mechanical eyes to continuously scan the vital statistics of these creatures.
"Holy crab, these proportions are fucking insane."
Steve stood in the corner, his face flushed as he watched this scene, feeling that the spirit of America's Stars and Stripes was being tested like never before.
I must endure!
Fuck!
Can't take it anymore!
Forget it, this is work!
...
Manhattan penthouse.
Lin An pushed open the door, and two first-generation AI robots in black and white maid outfits came up to greet him.
"Welcome home, Master."
One of them crouched down and gently helped him change into slippers, while the other handed him a glass of warm milk at the perfect temperature.
Lin An sank into the soft leather sofa and stretched comfortably, lamenting that this was the decadent life of a capitalist.
Thinking back to his past life as a corporate slave who had to squeeze onto the subway every day and be cursed at by his supervisor, it was simply a tragedy.
He was now a top tycoon who even Hell's lords had to lower their heads and call Brother John.
Natasha, wearing an apron, was directing another maid to organize the tableware in the kitchen. She turned around and saw the three scantily clad, seductive vixens following Lin An, and her movements stopped instantly.
She bit her lip, suppressing the urge to draw her gun.
"Boss, you're not even pretending anymore, are you?"
"It's one thing for the dolls to steal the housework, but now, for something like warming the bed, you have to bring in three women at once to compete with me?"
Lin An flashed his signature sunny smile.
"Little kitty, you've misunderstood me. This is serious work."
Lin An pointed at the succubi and began to explain earnestly.
"In order for the Vought International and Hell co-branded limited edition AI companions to successfully hit the market and sell well, I, as the boss, must take the lead and personally test their service attitude and emotional value feedback!"
Natasha rolled her eyes.
Only this shameless man in front of her could describe the behavior of an old lecher so refinedly and elegantly.
At this moment, one of the high-ranking succubi named Cecilia leaned in front of Natasha, her wine-red eyes flashing with undisguised provocation.
"What a beautiful woman."
Cecilia's barbed tail swayed happily in mid-air. She turned her head and breathed a puff of sweet, rose-scented hot air against Lin An's ear.
"Boss, would you like me to prepare some special appetizing foreplay for you first?"
Her finger inadvertently brushed across the edge of Natasha's fair collarbone, suggesting that she and this human sister perform a "two-way water flow circulation inspection test" for the boss.
Natasha's calm face instantly turned bright red.
If it weren't for maintaining her core status in this house, she would really want to shoot these bastards.
But the competitive spirit of the Red Room was completely ignited at this moment. She gritted her teeth and untied her apron strings.
That dazzling whiteness directly challenged the visual nerves of everyone in the room.
In the bathroom, the water splashed loudly against the ceramic basin.
Lin An leaned back on the cushions of the massage bathtub like a lord, holding a waterproof test recording board in his hand.
Cecilia's flexible tail silently wrapped around him under the water, the tip of the tail, carrying the unique cold temperature of Hell, wrapped halfway around Lin An's calf.
Natasha's thin, form-fitting shirt was completely soaked, the fabric sticking wetly to her spine, outlining curves that were impossible to look away from.
Cecilia surfaced along the water, breathing out a puff of sweet, rose-colored mist.
Lin An, however, lowered his eyes, his tone carrying the pickiness of a capitalist inspecting a business.
"Agent Natasha, your water temperature adjustment was 0.5 seconds slow. Ten points deducted from user experience."
"Cecilia, your tail's scrubbing strength is not up to standard. Does Hell not provide pre-job skills training?"
Natasha was so angry at his words that her teeth itched, yet Cecilia was still working hard to cooperate on the side, letting out those suggestive gasps.
I've been trained in the Red Room for over a decade; can I really lose to a demon in the service industry?!
Natasha increased the strength in her hands and turned the control valve fully open.
Warm water overflowed the edge of the bathtub, splashing onto the Stars and Stripes cape that Lin An had placed on the shelf.
Lin An watched these two women with completely different styles competing fiercely in the steam, lamenting that the joy of a capitalist lies not only in enjoying the results but also in appreciating this process of benign internal competition.
Looking at the two panting women in front of him, as well as the two flushed succubi watching from the side, Lin Angrinned.
"Ladies, the water quality inspection test is complete."
He wrapped his left arm around Cecilia and pulled Natashain with his right.
Ignoring their gasps, he threw them both onto the five-meter-long bed.
"Next up is the extreme stress test for the mattress's shock absorption performance!"
"The two ladies in the back, keep up with the rhythm!"
Chapter 136: Ebony Maw
The roaring sound system tore through the night sky of New York Times Square.
Gold and red fireworks, mixed with a holographic rain of cash, poured down.
Lin An wore that iconic stars-and-stripes bodysuit, his dark red cape billowing in the wind behind him.
He put on that sunny, confident, and highly approachable American savior smile, descending from a hundred meters in the air to the very center of the stage.
Following behind him were not the Superheroes of the Avengers.
But twelve high-ranking Succubi from Hell, dressed in extremely skimpy black silk maid outfits, with devil horns on their heads and heart-shaped tails swishing behind them.
"Families of New York! Degenerates of the U.S.! Good evening!"
Lin An snatched the microphone.
His impassioned voice resonated through every corner of Earth via Vought International's global broadcast channel.
"Over the past week, some unscrupulous media and sanctimonious politicians have claimed that our AI companions pose security risks."
"But today, I, Homelander, stand here to tell you—that's not a risk, that's just a necessary step in product iteration and upgrading!"
The sea of people below erupted in frenzied cheers.
Several bald executives from Wall Street in the front row were so excited that their dentures flew out, and they waved their checkbooks frantically.
"Today, Vought International, in collaboration with the Hell dimension, officially launches a groundbreaking product—the'Succubus Limited Edition AI Doll'!"
Lin An snapped his fingers.
The twelve high-ranking Succubi immediately began to move their enchanting bodies to the upbeat electronic dance music, twisting in ways that completely defied human spinal physics.
Cecilia walked to the front.
Her barbed tail suggestively coiled around the microphone stand, and she shot a wink at the camera that sent three hundred million men in front of their screens into a nosebleed frenzy.
"See that? Pure Hell bloodline, one hundred percent magic-powered constant temperature drive!"
"These high-end technical talents brought in from that old geezer Mephisto will provide us with the core soul interaction algorithms!"
Lin An pointed at Cecilia's proud curves, roaring as loudly as a top Wall Street pyramid scheme leader.
"188,000 U.S. dollars! The down payment is only 18,000!"
"Brothers, with a down payment of 18,000, you can't buy a toilet in Manhattan, but you can buy a perfect companion with 36 Hell-style techniques, absolute loyalty, and a built-in self-cleaning water circulation system!"
"Type 'Vought Conscience' on the screen for me!"
On the giant holographic screen above Times Square, the popularity count skyrocketed vertically at a ninety-degree angle.
In the blink of an eye, it broke through the fifty-million mark again.
Inside the VIP box, Tony Stark slumped into a leather sofa, covering his face tightly with both hands.
A desperate groan leaked through his fingers.
"It's over, it's all over. Stark Industries' century-long reputation has been completely trashed by this pimp today."
Steve Rogers stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, looking at the suggestive, chaotic scene below, his old face, full of stars-and-stripes spirit, turning beet red.
His hand trembled as he picked up his teacup, the rim unable to meet his mouth no matter how hard he tried.
"This... this kind of indecent, vulgar thing is a blasphemy against freedom and democracy!"
"Give it a rest, old-timer. You read that 500-page 'Anti-Addiction and Ethical Risk Assessment Report' word for word last night."
Wolverine Logan bit his cigar and kicked the coffee table.
He turned his head and shouted at the entry-level AI robot serving tea and water nearby.
"Go, book a top-tier one for me! I want the model with the mace accessory, yeah, the kind that can be used for self-defense!"
Just as the global audience was caught in a frenzy and the pre-sale servers were on the verge of crashing due to the instantaneous influx of thirty million orders.
A sudden change occurred.
The brightly lit New York night sky was suddenly swallowed by a massive shadow.
The high-altitude airflow became completely chaotic, and the glass of the skyscrapers around Times Square emitted a screeching "creak" under the intense pressure.
The clouds were violently torn apart.
A giant ring-shaped black warship hovered over Manhattan, obscuring the starlight.
An extreme feeling of gravitational pressure plummeted to the ground.
However, the New York citizens below just looked up for a moment, then erupted in even crazier screams.
"Holy shit! The boss has added new special effects again!"
"Vought is awesome! Is this a teaser for an alien tentacle series? I love tentacles! Add to my order! Add to my order!"
"So realistic! This holographic projection is a hundred times better than Stark Industries'! Long live Homelander!"
On stage, Lin An's signature smile froze.
He narrowed his eyes, and a crimson glimmer of Heat Vision welled up deep within his pupils.
His gaze pierced directly through the black hull armor, locking onto the strange-looking alien creatures inside the spaceship.
The Purple Potato Monster's vanguard?
The Universal Family Planning Committee arrived a bit too early. Did this son of a bitch Thanos break the script and come to grab the stones early?
On second thought, Lin An grinned, revealing a smile with a strong "troll" attribute.
Who cares? Isn't this just a free gift package of traffic delivered right to his face!
The energy buzzing sound was extremely piercing.
A tractor beam shot vertically from the bottom of the spaceship onto the center of the Times Square stage, landing just in front of Lin An and the group of Succubi.
An alien creature wearing a high-collared mage robe, with a withered face and no nose, slowly descended, lifted by telekinesis.
With his hands behind his back, he was oozing with pretentiousness.
Ebony Maw, the leader of Thanos's Black Order, an elegant, arrogant, and deadly cosmic preacher.
He closed his eyes, sensing the aura of Earthlings in the surrounding air.
He cleared his throat, preparing to deliver the classic proclamation that could plunge any civilization into despair and fear.
"Hear me, Earthlings, and rejoice."
Ebony Maw opened his eyes haughtily, his voice spreading through the entire square via telekinesis, carrying a sense of compassionate holiness.
"You should feel honored. You are about to die at the hands of the great Lord Thanos."
"In this pain and destruction, your pathetic lives will find final balance and salvation. Now, kneel, and hand over..."
Ebony Maw's voice came to an abrupt halt.
He saw the scene before him clearly.
There were no ants screaming in terror or fleeing in all directions.
Nor was there an Earth defense force standing at the ready.
The spot where he landed was right in the center of a circle of twelve scantily clad, extremely enchanting Succubi from Hell.
Strong pink laser beams hit his pale face directly.
The high-decibel electronic bass made the veins on his forehead pulse frantically.
Directly in front of him, the man in the stars-and-stripes bodysuit was staring at him with the greedy eyes of someone looking at a "cash cow."
Below the stage, hundreds of thousands of people not only didn't kneel, but instead held up green pieces of paper with numbers printed on them, whistling wildly at him.
"Who is this old geezer? Is he a freebie that comes with buying a doll?"
"He looks too wretched! Return him! We don't want a noseless alien old man! We want Succubi!"
The muscles at the corner of Ebony Maw's eyes twitched wildly.
For thousands of years, he had followed Thanos to conquer countless galaxies and slaughtered countless advanced civilizations.
But the absurd, decadent scene with absolutely no bottom line before him completely shattered his common sense and cognition.
Was this some kind of unknown dimensional mental attack?
Or had the creatures on this Planet already had their minds twisted by some kind of corrupting magic array?
The telekinetic gesture hanging in mid-air froze completely.
Ebony Maw's shriveled lips moved.
"Pardon..."
"Is this... a special ritual for how you Earthlings welcome destruction?"
Chapter 137: Beating Up Octopus Guy
Ebony Maw stood in the middle of twelve scantily clad succubi, his usually elegant deadpan face twisted as if he had swallowed a whole lemon.
He tried to understand the situation before him.
Could this remote Planet called Earth have already been polluted by some unknown cosmic Loki?
Otherwise, why would these natives, when faced with the Dark Aster warship representing absolute destruction, not only fail to scream and run away, but also wave around foul-smelling green paper scraps and shout about wanting to buy some dolls?
"I say, Octopus Guy."
A voice interrupted Ebony Maw's CPU overload.
Lin An walked up to Ebony Maw, a brilliant smile on his face that could make a capitalist weep.
He patted Ebony Maw's mage robe in a very familiar manner.
"Vought International's special effects department is really getting worse and worse; they don't even care about looks when hiring extras. With your nose-less look, you'd lose fans even playing a villain. What should I call you? How much is that purple sweet potato paying you per day?"
Ebony Maw's breathing stalled for a moment.
Purple sweet potato? Octopus Guy? No nose?
He had followed Thanos in conquering the Universe for thousands of years; which ruler of an advanced civilization hadn't knelt, trembled, and wept upon seeing him?
This native in a ridiculous tight suit actually dared to profane him with such vulgar language!
"Presumptuous ant." Ebony Maw's voice turned completely cold, his eyes showing cruelty, "It seems your minds have been thoroughly corroded by base desires, even the awe of death..."
"Enough, enough, stop reciting lines here." Lin An waved his hand impatiently, turned directly to the camera, and casually wrapped his arm around Cecilia's slender, snake-like waist.
"Family! Did you see that clearly!"
Lin An roared at the drone camera of the cross-dimensional quantum live stream, his voice deafening through the giant speakers in Times Square.
"This is what you call a stark contrast! On one side, we have our Vought International pure-blooded, stunning succubus partners, and on the other, this alien pervert old man who doesn't even have a nose and looks like a piece of dried, cured meat!"
"If you don't buy our dolls, your later years will be just like his, only able to fly a broken spaceship to pick up trash in the Universe, without even someone to warm your bed!"
The tens of thousands of audience members below were silent for a second, then erupted into laughter that threatened to blow the roof off.
"Vought is awesome!"
"This alien old man looks so damn abstract, it made me go limp; hurry up and get me ten succubi to wash my eyes!"
"Give me the link! I'm going to buy it all! I absolutely don't want to be a single dog!"
Standing to the side, Ebony Maw's poker face finally couldn't hold up anymore.
Elegance? Compassion? Fuck that! He just wanted to crush this foul-mouthed native and this dirty Planet into powder!
"Enough!"
Ebony Maw flew into the air, his withered fingers slashing violently in mid-air.
Boom—!
A terrifying, invisible telekinetic force erupted instantly.
In the three blocks around Times Square, all the glass in the skyscrapers shattered into ice-like shards filling the sky at the same time!
The wind surged backward, and the audience, who had been partying below, finally realized something was wrong.
This is not a new show, it's a real alien!
The gravity-induced pressure, as if one's very soul were about to be crushed, was a real, lethal threat!
Screams instantly tore through the night sky of New York. The crowd began to push and shove, fleeing like frightened ants.
In the VIP box, Tony Stark bolted up from the sofa, his face pale as he looked at the huge warship in the air: "Jarvis! Armor! Send the armor over immediately! This is not a drill, the aliens are attacking again!"
Steve Rogers kicked over the coffee table, grabbed his shield from the side, and rushed out.
And in the center of the stage, Ebony Maw slowly ascended, arms spread wide, like a god judging all living beings.
The massive telekinetic force tore the electronic screens weighing dozens of tons in Times Square apart, and along with dozens of cars parked on the roadside, they floated in mid-air like toys.
He looked down at Lin An on the ground, his voice carrying bone-chilling coldness: "See that, ignorant reptile. This is true power.
I will first tear out your tongue, then peel away your internal organs bit by bit, letting you feel the mercy of the great Thanos while you are still conscious."
As he spoke, Ebony Maw slammed his hands downward in a gesture.
The cars and sharp metal rebar in mid-air crashed down toward Lin An and the group of succubi like a rainstorm.
"Ah—!" Cecilia and the other succubi let out terrified screams, covering their heads and crouching on the ground.
However, just as those deadly metals were about to smash onto Lin An's head.
"So noisy."
Lin An rolled his eyes, not even lifting a hand, just narrowing his pupils sharply.
Psh—!
Two scarlet, piercing, and terrifyingly hot beams of Heat Vision swept through the air instantly, slicing through everything like tofu.
Those cars and metals wrapped in telekinetic force, the moment they touched the Heat Vision, didn't even have the chance to explode; they were directly melted into bright red molten iron, evaporating into the air with a "sizzle."
The whole scene was dead silent.
Ebony Maw, who was preparing to enjoy the miserable state of the ants, had his expression completely frozen on his face.
What is going on?
His telekinetic force, which was enough to tear apart a city, was actually instantly wiped out by two beams of red light?
Before he could react, Lin An had already left the ground, and accompanied by the terrifying sonic boom of breaking the sound barrier, he appeared in front of Ebony Mawinstantly like an intercontinental missile flying backward.
On that handsome face was a creepy, fake smile.
"Old thing, who gave you permission to act cool on my turf?"
Ebony Maw was terrified and almost instinctively mobilized all his telekinetic power to erect an invisible telekinetic barrier in front of him, capable of withstanding the bombardment of a main ship cannon.
"Bang!"
Lin An didn't even look, raised his right hand wearing a red glove, and slapped him without any fancy moves.
Crack—!
That indestructible telekinetic barrier, in the face of absolute physical might, was as fragile as a piece of water-soaked, torn newspaper; it couldn't even block him for 0.01 seconds and shattered on the spot.
Immediately after.
"Slap!!!"
A crisp sound of a slap that echoed throughout Manhattan.
Ebony Maw's nose-less head snapped to the side, and several pale teeth mixed with purple blood sprayed out of his mouth.
His whole body was like a kite with a broken string, spinning at high speed in mid-air for more than a dozen circles before smashing through the stage below.
The entire Times Square fell into an eerie silence once again.
Steve Rogers, who had just rushed out of the building, froze in place holding his shield, the corners of his mouth twitching wildly.
Tony Stark, who was putting on his armor, watched the scene on the surveillance screen, was silent for a full five seconds, then silently lit a cigar and let Jarvis take the armor back.
The fleeing citizens also stopped, turned back to look at the crater, and then looked at Homelander, who was floating in mid-air without even a hair out of place.
"Gulp." Someone didn't know who swallowed their saliva.
"Is... is this a special effect?"
"Special effect your mom! Didn't you see that alien old man's teeth fly to my feet! It's real blood!"
"Long live Homelander! Homelander is awesome!!!"
Cheers erupted like a tsunami again, ten times more fanatical than before.
Lin An slowly landed on the edge of the crater, looking down at Ebony Maw, whose bones were half broken and who was lying at the bottom of the pit spitting blood frantically.
This guy was simply a joke in front of magic immunity and Silver Age Superman's bio-field.
Lin An bent down, grabbed Ebony Maw's slender neck, and lifted him out of the pit like a little chick.
"Cough... cough cough..." Ebony Maw coughed violently, and extreme fear finally appeared in his eyes.
He wanted to use magic, but found that as soon as he had a thought, that terrifying bio-electromagnetic pulse would directly cut off his nerve reflexes.
What kind of monster is this! When did such an unreasonable pervert appear on Earth!
"You... you can't kill me..." Ebony Maw squeezed the voice out from between his teeth, "The great Thanos... will not let..."
Lin An sneered. "Tell me, what did that purple sweet potato send you to Earth to do?"
Chapter 138: Inviting Thanos to the Call
"Tell me, what did that Purple Sweet Potato send you to Earth to do?"
Lin An's fingers tightened slightly.
The cervical vertebrae of Ebony Maw immediately emitted an unbearable crunching sound.
"Ignorant vermin..."
Ebony Maw's face was covered in blood, his eyes filled with a sickly fanaticism.
"You do not understand the great Thanos at all... How could a low-level creature like you, who indulges in carnal desires, comprehend his noble will!"
"Kill me then, but on the day my master descends, you will all turn to dust!"
"Still playing the riddle-master with me?" Lin An rolled his eyes, his face full of disdain.
"Isn't it just running around looking for those few broken stones, then gathering them to snap your fingers and do some Universe-wide population control work?"
"What's the matter, he thinks he's noble for killing half the population of the Universe, is that it?"
Ebony Maw's grayish-white eyes instantly widened.
He stared fixedly at Lin An: "You... how do you know?!"
I don't just know what he wants to do, I've even seen the high-definition, uncensored version of the ending where he gets his head chopped off by an axe from the Avengers.
Lin An slandered internally, but on the surface, he sneered: "Cut the crap."
"Since you're just an errand boy, stop acting like a big shot here."
"Let that Purple Sweet Potato come out and talk to me personally. What kind of Universe overlord hides behind a screen?"
Ebony Maw had not yet recovered from his extreme shock.
The dark gold communication terminal on his wrist suddenly lit up with a red light, emitting a low buzzing sound.
A ghostly blue holographic projection shot out from the terminal.
In mid-air, a massive, burly purple figure sitting on a floating throne was quickly outlined.
The moment the projection appeared, an invisible pressure spread through the air.
The tens of thousands of spectators in Times Square who were still watching the spectacle collectively shut their mouths.
Many people subconsciously took two steps back, even holding their breath.
"Ebony Maw. You disappoint me."
A deep, hoarse voice rang out.
In the holographic projection, Thanos slowly opened his eyes, his gaze passing over the half-dead Ebony Maw and landing directly on Lin An.
"Boss, an unknown high-frequency alien signal has been detected. Does it need to be physically blocked?"
Ultron's oily, cybernetic bass voice came through Lin An's earpiece.
"Block it, my ass!"
Lin An felt a surge of joy in his heart. This was walking, top-tier traffic gold!
"Ultron, hijack this old guy's signal and cut it directly into the big central screen in Times Square!"
"Also, open the global livestream split-screen, title it 'Homelander Connects with Universe-Level Influencer'!"
"Understood, Boss. You always provide me with new computing power breakthroughs when it comes to stirring up trouble."
The next second, the hundreds of giant screens that were originally playing succubus dances flashed simultaneously.
Thanos's highly oppressive purple face was directly projected onto the most prominent location in Times Square.
Even the iconic vertical lines on his chin were clearly visible.
The livestream chat exploded instantly.
"Holy crap! Did that Purple Sweet Potato come to life?"
"Homelander is too OP. He just tore apart a spaceship with his bare hands, and now he's live-streaming with the alien mastermind?"
"Don't say, this alien brother actually looks quite textured, much more imposing than that noseless Squidward."
Thanos looked at the countless screens that had suddenly lit up and the Earthlings staring at him, and frowned slightly.
He had conquered countless galaxies, always accompanied by desperate screams and burning war fires.
This kind of treatment, being surrounded and watched like a monkey, was a first for him.
But he did not get angry; instead, he looked down at Lin An with a compassionate gaze.
"Strong one of this Planet, tell me your name."
"You can call me Homelander. Of course, if you think that's a mouthful, calling me 'Daddy' works too."
Lin An casually tossed Ebony Maw aside like trash and looked at the big screen with a faint smile.
Thanos ignored Lin An's provocation, his voice calm and deep: "Homelander. You possess rare power."
"But like these mortals, you are short-sighted and blind."
"I have seen the ending of this Universe."
"Life multiplies without restraint, while resources are limited. If not intervened, the entire Universe will eventually head towards total destruction in hunger and strife."
Thanos on the big screen slowly raised his hand.
"And I am the only one with the courage to take on this responsibility."
He looked at Lin An, issuing a condescending invitation: "This is the most benevolent solution in the Universe."
"You are qualified to be part of this great balance. If you truly care about the Universe, you should join me."
The entire Times Square was silent.
The four hundred million viewers in the livestream were also stunned by this grand, anti-human, yet strangely sacred-sounding 'Balance Theory.'
The scale of this villain seemed much larger than those bad guys who only knew how to rob banks.
"Pfft."
Lin An laughed out loud.
The laughter sounded extremely abrupt in the deathly silent square.
He laughed until his shoulders were shaking.
"That's it? This is the grand Universe blueprint you've been stewing on for thousands of years?"
Lin An reached out and wiped away non-existent tears from the corner of his eyes, suddenly stopped smiling, and looked at Thanos as if he were an idiot.
In his past life, as a worker frantically exploited by capitalists, he was all too familiar with this kind of 'big picture' corporate speak.
"I'm telling you, old man, have you never been to school?"
"Even if you had taken a few political classes during nine-year compulsory education, you wouldn't be able to say something so stupid."
Thanos's gaze cooled: "Are you questioning my benevolence?"
"I'm questioning your IQ!"
Lin An pointed at the big screen and started spraying mode.
"You keep spouting about limited resources, so you have to kill half the people."
"I'm damn curious, since you already have the Infinity Stones that can modify the reality of the entire Universe, why don't you just double the Universe's resources?!"
Once these words were spoken, Thanos was stunned.
Ebony Maw lay at the bottom of the pit, his painful groans also stopped.
The entire internet audience gasped.
Holy crap, that makes so much sense!
Lin An didn't intend to stop at all. He was now an emotionless keyboard warrior, taking modern Eartheconomics and corporate buzzwords to launch a crazy dimensionality reduction strike against this Universeoverlord.
"You have a cheat code in your hand that can create the world, yet when you encounter a problem, you don't think about expanding production!"
"You don't think about developing unknown cross-galaxy colonies!"
"You don't think about improving the existing resource allocation mechanism!"
"You're too lazy to even research Universe hybrid rice, so you just choose to kill people?!"
Lin An became more excited as he spoke.
He walked two steps on the stage, pointing at Thanos's nose and scolding: "What kind of nobility is this?"
"This is clearly inefficient, lazy, and a lazy policy lacking basic economic common sense!"
Thanos's lips moved, seemingly wanting to refute: "The laws of the Universe..."
"Screw the laws!"
Lin An interrupted forcefully, "Don't use 'laws' to cover up the fact that you are incompetent at management!"
"You think you are saving the Universe?"
"No, your behavior has a very professional term—mass layoffs!"
Chapter 139: Thanks for the Popularity Rocket, Top Donor
The barrage in the livestream exploded instantly, with the screen scrolling wildly with "666" and "Capitalists in Tears".
The popularity rating shot up like a Rocket, "whooshing" past eighty million, heading straight for the one hundred million mark.
"If you can't solve the problem, you solve the person who created it, right? You're a real slacker of an HR manager."
Lin An sneered, "You call it 'random, impartial mercy' for the sake of appearances."
"To put it bluntly, you're just a boss who doesn't want to spend money on R&D, nor do you want to go down to the grassroots level to build infrastructure."
"You just want to sit in your office, snap your fingers, and cut half of your workforce of workhorses."
"Then watch as the remaining workhorses are grateful to you because there's more food."
"Your calculations are so loud that I can hear them all the way from New York!"
The face of Thanos turned completely black.
For thousands of years, regardless of who it was, upon hearing his balance theory, they were either terrified, in awe, or crazily cursing him as a demon.
But never had anyone, from the perspective of "economics" and "business management", belittled this plan—which he viewed as incredibly sacred and carrying a huge sacrifice—into such worthless shit!
What do you mean by lazy governance? What do you mean by violent layoffs?!
Thanos's CPU began to spin wildly, attempting to find a rebuttal from his thousands of years of slaughter experience.
But he found himself unable to respond.
"You... this is sophistry."
Thanos gritted his teeth, his voice losing that condescending composure for the first time.
"The consumption and regeneration of resources have limits, and the greed of mortals cannot be satisfied..."
"Stop trying to shift the concepts on me."
Lin An retorted unceremoniously, "If mortals are greedy, then you go and establish rules!"
"If you're so awesome, go be the Director of the UniverseTax Bureau, or go collect protection money."
"When you encounter a problem, you don't solve the fundamental contradiction; you only know how to commit massacres."
"You're just a mentally unstable Director of Family Planning, yet you're still here pretending to be a savior who pities all living things?"
Thanos looked deeply at Lin An, the pity in his gaze gone, leaving only pure murderous intent.
He realized that his theory, which he was so proud of, simply couldn't hold up in front of this guy.
"Sharp-tongued mortal. You will pay the price for your arrogance today."
"I will descend to Earth personally. Not only will I take the Infinity Stones, but I will also completely erase everything on this Planet."
Lin An grinned.
Before Thanos could say anything else, he raised his hand directly.
Two beams of red Heat Vision shot out with a roar.
The communication terminal on Ebony Maw's wrist, along with his entire body, instantly turned to ash.
The cheers of the crowd rose wave after wave.
The ashes of Ebony Maw were still drifting in mid-air.
The sneer on Lin An's face vanished instantly.
He closed his eyes slowly.
When he opened them again, the manic look in those cerulean eyes had faded.
Replacing it was a kind of reassuring, compassionate, god-like gentleness.
He rose slowly into the air, hovering above Times Square.
His bright red cape snapped in the New York night wind.
Behind him, hundreds of giant screens, under the precise control of Ultron, simultaneously lit up with a soft, holy background.
Setting off his figure to look incredibly majestic.
"Ultron, give me a close-up, the kind of angle where you can see the resolute tears in my eyes. Set the filter to 'Holy Savior' mode."
Lin An quickly issued instructions in his mind.
"As you wish, boss. Your micro-expression management is comparable to an Oscar-winning actor; the current lighting effects are enough to make the Pope retire on the spot."
Lin An lowered his head slightly, looking down at the hundreds of thousands of citizens below gazing up at him.
He then looked at the drone camera facing him.
His voice, transmitted through the global network to the ears of billions, was deep, magnetic, and full of power.
"Family around the World, you all saw that just now, right?"
Lin An's tone was filled with heartbreak.
"That arrogant Purple Sweet Potato, that self-righteous Universe-level Terrorist!"
"He is not only an idiot who doesn't even understand basic economics, but also a complete and utter madman!"
"One day in the future, he, along with his fleet of alien scum, will land on our beautiful Earth!"
Lin An suddenly raised his hand, pointing at the vast night sky.
His voice rose sharply, carrying thunderous fury.
"He delusions of using his bullshit 'Balance Theory' to snap his fingers and randomly wipe out half of the population on our Earth!"
"Half, my family!"
"That could be your parents, your lover, your child, or even yourself!"
"He wants to turn our civilization, our efforts, and our future into dust!"
In Times Square, the crowd that was just celebrating was instantly pulled back to reality.
Fear of the unknown appeared in many people's eyes.
The barrage in the livestream gradually slowed down; everyone held their breath.
Seeing that the timing was just right, Lin An suddenly changed his tone.
He slowly spread his arms, making a gesture to embrace the whole World.
"But!"
Lin An's voice, filled with unquestionable dominance and absolute security, resonated across the globe.
"As long as I am here, this kind of thing will—absolutely—not—be—allowed—to—happen!"
"Who am I? I am Homelander!"
"I am the Supreme Commander of this Planet, your only savior!"
Lin An's eyes were fanatical and affectionate.
"Earth is humanity's Earth! It is even more my, Homelander's, territory!"
"You are my people!"
He pressed his chest, speaking with deep emotion.
"Aliens want to come to our territory and commit massacres? Want to touch my fans? Want to cut the consumers of my Vought Company?"
"They are dreaming!"
"I don't care what kind of Universe overlord he is, and I don't care what Infinity Stones he has in his hands!"
"Even if he brings the entire fleet of the Milky Way Galaxyover, I will still tear them into pieces like tearing paper!"
"Family, do not be afraid, do not hesitate!"
"You don't need to believe in those ethereal gods, and you don't need to count on those masked freaks who hide behind masks!"
"You only need to look up to see me!"
Lin An's eyes lit up again with a daunting crimson glow. But to the Earthlings, this glow now became the most indestructible shield.
"Go to work! Go live your lives!"
"Go consume to your heart's content, go buy the latest merchandise and dolls from our Vought Company!"
"As long as you still love me, as long as you still call my name..."
"I, Homelander, am your Sun that will never fall!"
"Earth, never compromise! Humanity, long live! Homelander, long live!!!"
The moment his voice fell, Lin An suddenly raised his head, and the Heat Vision in his eyes shot straight into the sky like two red light swords.
Instantly slicing through the thick clouds in the sky, declaring his sovereignty to the entire Universe.
The crowd was quiet for a moment.
Immediately after, all of Times Square, and even in front of every network terminal on Earth, fell into unprecedented madness.
"Homelander! Savior!!!"
"Fuck you, Thanos! Earth belongs to Homelander!"
"For Homelander! I'm going to buy out Vought Company's stock tomorrow!"
"Buy dolls! I want to buy ten dolls to support the savior! Even if I die from exhaustion, I will contribute to Earth!"
Countless people were in tears. They knelt before the screens and roared in the squares.
In this desperate moment facing a Universe-level Terrorist attack, Lin An's extremely domineering, extremely protective, and even slightly rogue-like oath precisely pierced through everyone's psychological defenses.
Listening to the mountain-shaking "Long live Homelander" in his ears.
Feeling the frenzy of faith spreading in the air.
Lin An maintained his compassionate savior pose in mid-air, but under the cover of his cape, the corners of his mouth curled up wildly.
[Ding! Detected that the host has completed an epic'Savior Speech'!]
[Ding! Detected that the host successfully triggered a global emotional nuclear explosion, and the popularity rating has broken through the one hundred million mark!]
Oh, Purple Sweet Potato, you Purple Sweet Potato, I have to thank you, my old buddy, for sending this cross-galactic super Rocket.
Lin An was overjoyed in his heart. This batch of leeks—reaping them was truly damn satisfying!
Chapter 140 Aether Particles
Ding! Global emotional fluctuations detected. Host's popularity has unprecedentedly broken through the 100 million mark!"
The system's crisp mechanical voice exploded in his mind.
Lin An leaned back in the leather boss chair on the top floor of Vought Tower, looking at the long string of zeros on the panel—enough to trigger trypophobia—and his mouth curled up to his ears.
Finally, it's here.
This wave of traffic from linking up with Thanos was incredibly profitable.
"System, redeem the [Silver Age Superman] template for me!" Lin An didn't hesitate; the 100 million popularity points instantly cleared to zero.
Boom!
In the moment of fusion, there were no flashy light effects, only a pure, suffocating physical transformation. Lin An felt every cell in his body collapsing and exploding crazily; the sound of his heartbeat echoed in his chest like muffled thunder.
He lowered his head and looked at his hands.
It felt different.
The upper limit of the original "defective" Homelander had been completely shattered.
Now, with just a slight focus, he could clearly hear the creaking of tectonic plates three hundred meters beneath Manhattan.
Lin An casually pinched the air.
"Bang!"
His palm was empty, yet he had forcefully pinched out a sonic boom, and the surrounding space even showed a visible distortion.
With this kind of unreasonable, brute force, what magic, what causality?
Even that old guy Odin, he might not be unable to go toe-to-toe with him now.
Just as he was immersed in the loneliness of invincibility, calculating how to go into the Universe and cause a big news event,
Bang!
The office door was slammed open.
A smell of stewed chicken instantly permeated the entire top-floor office.
The smile on Lin An's face vanished instantly, and his eyes looked over coldly.
He saw a bright yellow figure scrambling in, grabbing Lin An's leg.
"Mentor! Help, Boss!"
Lin An looked down, his mouth twitching wildly.
The dignified eldest prince of Asgard, the God of Thunder Thor, was currently wearing a bright yellow fluorescent work uniform printed with the words "Vought Express," and hanging on his chest was a dog tag that read "Monthly Outstanding Employee of the Sewer Maintenance Department."
He was clutching Mjolnir tightly in his hand, and a lump of unidentifiable black viscous matter was hanging on the hammer head.
"If you dare to rub sewer shit on my trouser leg, I will shove your hammer into your stomach."
Lin An kicked Thor away in disgust.
Thor didn't care about the pain; he scrambled to his feet, tears and snot all over his face: "Mentor! Jane! My girlfriend Jane has a big problem! She seems to be possessed; she hits anyone she sees, I can't control her at all!"
Lin An raised an eyebrow.
Jane Foster?
Possessed by the Aether Particle?
The plot had finally reached this point.
"Lead the way." Lin An twisted his neck.
He had just obtained the Silver Age Superman template and was worried about not having a place to test it out; wasn't this delivered right to his door?
Reality Stone?
Perfect to use as an appetizer.
...
Ten minutes later, at a temporary residence in an abandoned factory on the outskirts of London.
As soon as they landed, Lin An felt the strange energy fluctuations pervading the surrounding air.
Dark red mist, as if alive, was drilling in and out of the door cracks.
Thor rushed in anxiously, kicking the door open: "Jane! Are you okay!"
Answering him was a streak of dark red energy.
"Bang!"
Thor was whipped away like a rag doll, smashing heavily next to Lin An's feet, creating a large crater in the ground.
Lin An walked in slowly, arms crossed, watching the scene before him with great interest.
Jane Foster's eyes were rolled back, scarlet light flowing in her pupils.
Dark red Aether Particle energy was crazily coursing over her body, lifting her into mid-air.
She no longer had any trace of the gentle female scientist; she was simply a crazed lioness.
Just as Thor struggled to climb up, Jane let out a non-human roar and lunged at him.
"Slap!"
A crisp, loud slap.
Jane grabbed the Asgardian red cape behind Thor and, with the energy boost from the Aether Particle, unleashed a flurry of attacks on the dignified God of Thunder's face.
The slaps were deafeningly loud, and red light mixed with Thor's nosebleeds flew in mid-air.
"Jane! It's me! I'm Thor! Wake up!"
While getting beaten, Thor tried to use love to wake up his girlfriend, not daring to fight back at all.
Lin An didn't help; instead, he happily took out his phone from his pocket, turned on the camera, and aimed it at the two.
After recording a clip, Lin An casually sent it to the "Vought Dragon Squad Employees Loving Each Other Family" group chat.
The group chat exploded instantly.
Tony Stark replied in seconds: "I said Asgardians have brain problems. Is this an alien courtship ritual? So wild. Do you need me to sponsor a set of anti-domestic violence armor?"
Steve, who was dancing square dances with his old baby girlfriend, sent a voice message: "Oh my god, this is too violent. Boss, do you need me to come over and help? Or should I let Hughie go through the disciplinary committee procedure?"
Logan sent a smoking emoji: "That woman has quite a kick. Let her slap a few more times, it even cured my rheumatism just watching."
"Boss! Stop filming!" Thor was smashed through a coffee table by Jane with a shoulder throw, wailing with a bruised and swollen face, "She's about to shake my brains into a smoothie! Save me!"
Lin An looked at the reactions in the group, put away his phone with satisfaction, and unhurriedly rolled up his sleeves.
"Alright, if you keep fighting, there will be no one to clear the sewers in New York tomorrow."
Lin An took a step forward.
Jane immediately sensed a new threat.
She whipped her head around, staring fixedly at Lin An. The Aether Particle in her body sensed the terrifying pressure on Lin An and instantly went berserk.
The dark red Reality Stone energy turned into sharp blades filling the sky, tearing through the air, and shot toward Lin An with terrifying kinetic energy exceeding the speed of sound!
Every streak of red light was enough to shred the carrier armor of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Thor exclaimed: "Careful! That energy is very evil!"
Lin An didn't dodge or evade, not even bothering to use his Heat Vision.
A look of arrogant mockery curled his lips, and he just walked straight into the red light.
What bullshit magic stone? In the face of absolute physical strength, it's all flashy trash!
Lin An opened the bio-field belonging to Silver Age Superman.
No dazzling light, no deafening explosion.
Only an absolute, unreasonable physical law descended.
"Crack!"
The dark red energy blades filling the sky, upon touching the air one meter in front of Lin An, were like crashing into an immovable invisible holy mountain, instantly shattering into countless red specks of light, not even qualifying to leave a scratch on Lin An's suit.
The Reality Stone wants to distort reality?
Sorry, Silver Age Superman's bio-field directly locks the physical rules of this area; you can't distort shit!
Lin An braved the violent impact of the Aether Particle and strolled in front of Jane.
Jane let out a desperate shriek, and the Aether Particleformed a giant red hand, trying to crush Lin An's head.
"Shut up."
Lin An raised his right hand, fingers spread, and directly penetrated the giant red energy hand, pressing directly onto Jane's crown.
Boom!
The terrifying bio-field pressed down like the sky collapsing and the Earth sinking.
The Reality Stone energy that had been crazily ravaging inside Jane's body was like a mouse meeting its natural enemy, forcefully compressed and repelled by Lin An's pure, extreme physical strength, and finally locked deep within Jane's heart.
The violent red light instantly extinguished.
Jane rolled her eyes, her body went limp, and she lost consciousness, falling to the ground.
Lin An withdrew his hand, stepped aside in disgust, and let Jane crash onto the floor.
Thor scrambled over, picked up Jane, and patted her face with his rough hands: "Jane! Jane, are you okay?"
After confirming Jane was still breathing, Thor let out a long sigh of relief, looked up, his face beaten into a pig's head full of gratitude: "Mentor! Thank you so much! If it weren't for you, Jane might have lost her life today."
Lin An looked at Thor's silly, naive, unlucky appearance and couldn't help but roll his eyes.
I watched you take a beating for a full three minutes before I made a move.
"Don't get happy too early."
Lin An pointed at Jane's chest, "The energy level of that thing in her body is very high; it was just forcibly suppressed by me using physical means. Earth's medical equipment can't even understand what this is, let alone treat it."
Thor panicked instantly, his eyes turning red: "Then what do I do? I can't lose her!"
Lin An patted Thor on the shoulder, put on a capitalist face of caring for subordinates, and said earnestly:
"Thor, since you've signed our Vought International labor contract, you are an employee of me, Lin An. Our company has always valued employee benefits; if an employee's family member gets sick, it must be counted as a work-related injury."
Thor was stunned, touched beyond words: "Boss, you are truly a good person! So where do we go now?"
"Where to go?" Lin An sneered, gazing toward the deep starry sky, "If Earth can't treat it, then go back to your hometown to treat it. Asgard is so badass, there must be a way, right? This is called using your hometown's medical insurance reimbursement, understand?"
Paid vacation? Doesn't exist.
I just happen to lack an excuse to go to Asgard to farm a big wave of traffic.
That old immortal Odin, dared to mock my narrow vision last time?
If I go this time, if I don't strip the base of your God Realm, I'm not Homelander!
"Heimdall! Open the door!" Thor, completely unaware of what vicious plans his boss was plotting, raised his hammer and roared at the sky.
A brilliant seven-colored beam of light descended from the sky, instantly enveloping the three of them.