There's a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen
***
'Kill her,'
"NO! PLEASE…"
She was caged under the brink of flames coursing through her veins, and scorching her bright. It was painful, fairly exhausting to breathe, and even unbearable to move.
Crackling noises made from its conflagration echoed the confined space, however, they were produced from her singeing flesh.
"Kill the monster!"
Tears clouded her vision, and the smoke in her lungs made everything worse. She wanted to move, to breathe, to run…
Let me go…
I want to go…
Suddenly, the sharp ring of a sword echoed louder than she'd ever heard, and the next thing Ravenna saw was a face cloaked in a black hood swinging the sword directly to her neck.
"NO!!!"
Ravenna's eyes snapped open with a loud gasp. The movement of her heartbeat was faster than a second, and she breathed, inhaling fresh air to quench the heat inside her lungs.
Tears formed a vortex of mystery at her expression, as she trembled. Ravenna drew her sleeves up, but their stickiness almost caused her to groan, her face contorted in pain.
As she rose, what welcomed her was the strong ooze of burning flesh and her eyes widened at how bad it was.
Oh lord.
In her memory, she was unable to breathe, her mind foggy while she was being surrounded by the cold and dark words each time she rested.
Again.
But the one was different. A-A face?
This was the first time she'd seen someone in her dreams. Apart from her parents, Ravenna was haunted by those nightmares but this one had a figure.
Fear and anxiety coursed through her veins as her heart raced and her breath was still shallow in shock.
Scars. Fangs. Monsters.
It was all clear. She could remember what had happened that night. Every single detail. Every single voice. And she shuddered, her breath hitched from its terror.
It took her five years. Five years to remember whatever they did to her. T-they killed her.
But that one voice kept haunting her dreams.
Suddenly, footsteps echoed outside her room and the door creaked open when a figure entered. It was the Healer as she verged in with a gentle smile and a wooden cup. "How are you feeling?"
How was she feeling?
"Here, drink this. It will help with the fever," She said and Ravenna collected it.
Her hands trembled when she brought it to her lips, sipping the cool water. She wished it could cool her thoughts at the moment.
The Healer looked at her. "Another dream?" and Ravenna looked up from the cup to her eyes.
"I heard you scream and I came running down. You are fortunate Alaric was deep in slumber, or else he would have been on his heels down here. It took me ages to get him to shut an eyelid," She said and Ravenna offered a pathetic smile.
He must be worried sick.
"How is he?" Her voice was hoarse when she asked.
"Terrible," The Healer responded. "He couldn't sleep the whole night," she added and stood up, arranging her dress properly. "You didn't tell me you are a sleep talker. He watched you mumble words in your sleep… and whisper unnatural words,"
Ravenna's eyes widened. "I-I did?"
"Mm," she responded. "Tell me, when did your dreams start all over again?" Ravenna didn't respond. Or she took a while too.
"I know what-"
"Whatever dreams you are having, Alaric has been reacting strangely. I have been observing him from the moment you mutter words, and he had buried himself in here with books, while watching you, all worried,"
Ravenna looked beside her, to see the candlelight reflecting the numerous books scattered on the table. He had been researching, she thought.
"When did they start? I need to know, Ravenna."
"I'm fine," She replied. "It's not the symptoms, if that's what you worry about." And she sighed.
"I'm worried, yes," her voice was gentle when she said and she sat beside her, her weight dipping the bed. "You never told me you had dreams. I'm only aware of Alaric's,"
"I'm sorry," It was all she could think of. Right now, having someone listen to her problem wasn't on the list. It felt exhausting.
"Mm," The Healer made a sound that didn't sound displeased, but something else. "I was preparing dinner, a soup that'll help conserve your strength for tomorrow. I'm certain you plan on heading to the castle,"
"Yes," It wasn't debatable. She had to. Only the heavens know what awaits her tomorrow.
"I'll make you tea to help reduce the fever in the meantime," She said and Ravenna nodded weakly.
Oh, her body felt utterly slimy but it was better than before. At least, her dizziness was long gone but the terror of that memory singed her nerves.
"Ravenna, I need to discuss something with you. Two things in particular." She said.
"What is it?"
"Your health… It's not just the fever," She informed, holding her gaze. "You know what I mean,"
Ravenna's heart sank. She was aware but never used to hearing it. "What about it?"
"The defect is spreading, faster than it is supposed to, creating some kind of affliction that is severe," She explained. "Your fatigue, shortness of breath, strange dreams…" Ravenna passed a look. "… these symptoms would continue to progress. Though I don't know exactly what it is about…"
"It's nothing serious," Ravenna cut in and she sighed.
"Now is proof, considering the number of times you even planned on sleepwalking."
Sleepwalking? "It's getting worse," Ravenna confirmed.
"The condition will continue to deteriorate and I felt you must know,"
"How fast will it progress?" She asked.
"Difficult to predict. It's a congenital defect, one beyond repair that I fear…"
"I may die," Ravenna whispered, her gaze leaving her chilled hands towards the lady's face.
Her face paled as she completed the obvious, emitting the bitterest smile she could form. A broken one.
"… the symptoms would worsen from now on," The Healer continued, objecting to her interruption. She grabbed her cold hands and rubbed them gently, Ravenna had to hold tight from hissing due to the pain. "Listen and listen carefully, Ravenna," she said, her voice becoming grave. "You are not dying. Not now. Not soon. But someday," she declared, her gaze firm. "You and I understand why, and the reason shouldn't be discussed with anyone outside your home. I shouldn't know about this, but I do, because your mother made me keep my word, and my word is my bond." She said, earning a shudder at the mention of 'mother'.
"You will have to tell Alaric about this, or lest he figure this out the hard way. That boy is smarter than he is, and the more those dreams keep coming, the more highly inevitable he will be exposed creating chances for those creatures tormenting him, cramming his head with the exact opposite of what he ought to know." She explained. "Alaric is but a child, but the vessel in him is a thousand ages older."
Ravenna understood and responded with a shaky sigh. Her brother was smart. It was only a matter of time before he broke the code and learns what was supposed to be the harshest truth. "I know, Jemima…"
"Good," the Healer responded and placed her hand firmly on hers. "You're doing well. I know I'm in no position to fill the space your parents left in your heart but…"
Ravenna gulped, taking the lump down her throat, and pulled her face away.
"You can always count on me. Always. For anything in particular. Not just because I gave my word to take care of both you and your brother, but because," her voice became serene, utterly gentle and innocuous. "… you both mean a lot to me and I won't forgive myself if anything ever happens to you both."
A sob escaped her lips before she could control it, and Jemima pulled her into a hug.
"Oh dear…" she rubbed her back, patting her gently as the young girl trembled in her arms. "How long would you keep pushing?"
She wasn't supposed to feel this way. Act this way. Crying wasn't her thing, it wasn't the way she expressed herself and it had always remained that way. But recently, the sudden urge to let down her emotions through it was palpable.
Her whole life has been filled with downs. The life of an orphan, a traitor's daughter, a thief, and a whore wasn't just easy. It was difficult. Difficult as the years passed by and difficult as she aged.
Ravenna would pretend those curses and vitriols from folks or villagers didn't affect her but every word, haunted her wholly such that it dug a deep wound impossible to treat. And she had been bleeding ever since.
And had been strong. She still is.
Jemima was the Healer to her late parents, a friend to the family, and a trustee. Apparently, she was half a seer and half human, an ability discovered by her parents when they were still alive.
Vladoryn is a kingdom ruled by humans, such that any other creatures apart from them, were considered unholy at that time and burnt at the stake. She was told Jemima saved her mother from a burglary attack, but the injuries were beyond any human capacity. Her mother was saved through magic and in return, took Jemima to serve her while protecting her ability from the fraying eyes of the world. She was only six when she knew her and ever since then, she became a part of the family, the reason why she lived and survived the fire mishap nineteen years ago.
Ravenna sniffed, wiping her tears before pulling away. "Thank you, Jemima. I feel better now,"
The lady looked like she wanted to say something, but refrained. Instead, she nodded. "I know,"
Ravenna put on a tight smile.
"I'll take my leave then," She was about to leave when Ravenna stopped her.
"What was the second thing?"
Jemima ceased, that feeling of being hesitant for a reason, taking a moment to process her words before slowly settling down once more.
"I'll suggest we discuss it whenever you are fine…"
"I'm fine," She added in haste. "Don't worry about me but I promise, I'm perfectly fine," In truth, she was. Crying has its way of resuscitating.
"Your dreams…" She started, and Ravenna's heart kicked at a slow pace. "You should be mindful. Whatever it may be, don't ever listen to what it tells you. Some aren't true. Some wish to manipulate the truth."
Ravenna's body froze yet she nodded nonetheless, her movement slow but unconvincing.
Jemima smiled in what was supposed to be a supportive gesture.
And then Ravenna looked up before knitting a brow, "Like how they killed Ianthe?" Her voice was tight, almost barely audible.
Jemima was surprised.
The look in her eyes was enough to apprise the knowledge as something deep but she wanted to confirm. "How my twin sister was taken away from me, and me, as one of their sacrifices? Tell me… is that manipulation or the truth?"
***