"Old friend, would you be willing to chat with me about that young man, Lucien?" Dumbledore asked the Sorting Hat with a chuckle.
The Sorting Hat shifted its eye-socket-like depressions, glanced at the long-bearded old man, and twisted its cracked mouth.
"No."
That crisp, straightforward refusal froze Dumbledore's smile instantly.
After a long moment, the old man shook his head awkwardly.
"Uh, I just wanted to understand what qualities Lucien has that made you so conflicted?"
Facing Dumbledore's question, the Sorting Hat wiggled the tip of its brim.
"Boy, how many years have you been Headmaster of Hogwarts?"
Seeing the Sorting Hat throw back an unrelated question, Dumbledore didn't get angry; instead, he pondered, as if reminiscing.
"I took over as Headmaster in '56, so this year makes exactly 35 years."
"Oh."
The Sorting Hat simply said "Oh" and then fell silent. Dumbledore couldn't make sense of why the Hat's temper seemed so strange today.
Could it really have been affected by Lucien's sorting?
"In these 35 years, why…?"
"You never cleaned me!?"
The Sorting Hat's sudden "accusation" left Dumbledore a bit bewildered.
"Hm, huh?"
Sensing the old Headmaster's confusion, the Sorting Hat grew even angrier, its mouth chattering incessantly:
"Oh, Merlin's bald head! I don't even remember the last time I was properly cleaned!
You Headmasters and Professors only think of me when new students arrive each year, and then you toss me back on the shelf once you're done!
Every time, I can read the little wizards' thoughts of disdain for me!
I am clearly the smartest Hat in this world—how can I be treated like this!"
"…"
The more Dumbledore listened to the Sorting Hat's complaints, the more puzzled he became.
In the past, the Sorting Hat would just sit silently in the corner of the shelf, occasionally humming a few lines of the song it would sing at the next year's ceremony.
But now, after this sorting ceremony, its thoughts seemed far more active.
What was different this year?
It must have been Lucien's sorting, which lasted over ten minutes and made history…
Dumbledore tugged at his beard, his gaze on the Sorting Hat growing more and more curious.
Could it really be broken?
"Boy, what are you staring at! You want to ask me about Lucien? First, give me a full-body clean!!!"
"But.. what if the cleaning spell ended up damaging the inchantments—"
"Then use your hands!!"
…
Ten minutes later.
Dumbledore sat at the table, holding a small brush, meticulously cleaning the Sorting Hat.
"Mm, yes, yes, that's it, a little more force!
Get some warm water—you're not wiping the stain like that.
You're over a hundred years old, can't you even brush a hat properly?"
The Sorting Hat simultaneously enjoyed the personal care of the greatest wizard of the century while criticizing his technique.
And Dumbledore, surprisingly, didn't get angry; instead, he smiled brightly.
The Sorting Hat told him not to use magic to appease it, but rather brush it by hand. However, in Dumbledore's opinion, it was a novel experience anyway, so there was no harm in trying.
"Alright, old friend, can you talk to me about Lucien now?"
The Sorting Hat squinted, enjoying the cleaning, and replied nonchalantly, "Yes, he is very suitable for Ravenclaw."
"I can see that. Anything else?"
"He is also suitable for Slytherin."
Hearing this, Dumbledore couldn't help but want to sigh.
Another case of exceptional talent, coupled with hidden ambition?
"Oh, he's also suitable for Hufflepuff?"
"Hm, huh?"
The sigh Dumbledore was about to release, he held back.
"Are you sure?"
The Sorting Hat tilted its tip. "Of course, how could I make a mistake? Also, it wouldn't be a problem for him to go to Gryffindor either."
The brush in Dumbledore's hand paused. He once again suspected that this Hat might truly be old and in disrepair, with something wrong.
"Why did you stop? Well, to be honest, I've also never seen such a young wizard with so many qualities suitable for all four Great Houses."
Dumbledore resumed brushing, then asked, "Then why was it Ravenclaw in the end?"
The Sorting Hat shrugged its brim and said lightly, "Because he felt… oh no, 'I' felt that pursuing wisdom and craving knowledge is Lucien's essence.
It's just that in the magical world, knowledge is equivalent to power, and in the process of seeking knowledge, the diligence, effort, courage, and determination he displayed were all very clear and hard to ignore."
Dumbledore nodded, pressing a little harder with the brush, but his heart felt much more at ease.
"Thank you. It seems Lucien will be a good student. By the way, did you check what areas Lucien was particularly talented in at the time?"
Before the Sorting Hat could answer, a portrait in the Headmaster's office interrupted:
"You two have been chattering for half the night. It's so noisy I can't sleep!
Since he wasn't sorted into our Slytherin in the end, I think this Lucien you're talking about is nothing special in terms of talent."
The voice was sharp and arrogant, grating to the ears.
Dumbledore rubbed his forehead; he didn't want to bother with this former Headmaster, who was excessively fond of pure-bloods.
But it didn't matter—someone had already responded for him.
Another portrait, depicting a stern-looking man, stirred, and a rough, booming voice rang out:
"Phineas, I really want to shut your annoying mouth! 'Your Slytherin'? Have some shame!"
"Heh, Morgan, I'm too lazy to argue with a reckless lion like you," Phineas sneered, pinching his small mustache with disdain.
"When I was Headmaster, I disliked Ravenclaw students the most. Always chasing after their so-called 'knowledge,' always convinced they were right about everything."
"Phineas, do you want to test the weight of 'knowledge' again?"
A portrait of a beautiful, elegant lady also came to life. Wearing silver-rimmed glasses, she carried a quiet demeanor—though the heavy tome in her hand looked as though it could rival a Stupefy if it landed on the back of someone's head.
Dumbledore listened to the portraits of past Headmasters bickering and rubbed his temples helplessly.
Phineas Black—the one remembered as the "Most Unpopular Headmaster in Hogwarts History."
"Black boy, stop shouting. Compared to Lucien, your talent is like a troll's brain—you'd need a magnifying glass just to find it."
The Sorting Hat's sarcasm cut the portraits' argument short.
"Pfft, hahahahahahaha…"
"A troll's brain! Can the Sorting Hat talk like that? Why didn't I notice it back then?"
"Phineas, if you heard that, say something!"
The Headmaster portraits all burst out laughing, with the Gryffindor ones laughing the loudest.
Even the Slytherin portraits joined in. To be honest, they too found Phineas far too outrageous. As a Headmaster, he had completely neglected student education, and no one really knew what he truly cared about.
Dumbledore only refrained from laughing aloud, and his long white beard neatly concealed the upward curve of his lips.
The Sorting Hat noticed Dumbledore's hand holding the brush had paused again, and its mouth split wide.
"What are you smirking at again? Lucien's talent is far superior to yours too!"