Back then my mother married into an man she clearly has no idea whom truly is it.
My father is an worthless man, an lazy and gluton
He doesn't work he simply rely on my mother
Often he ate and watch tv that's all he does.
When my mother was pregnant my father was not even there for her. All my mother ever wished is for me to be born she was suffering from her Fibroids she was thankful I was alive and well an blessing she say...
I grew up often he left me behind well my grand father told me his an drug addict, well we didn't believe it ofcourse... It as back then I was still 6 years an accident happened he was fixing electricity in the roof when he came crashing down, I didn't understand it back then his left leg bone was broken, when his blood we're in there I didn't knew what it was I called on my mother and grand parents... I didn't even knew my mother would suffer greatly she has no money she has no job at time, my grand parents didn't knew what to do either my mother risked herself to go ask for financial assistance on government back then my mother doesn't even have pocket money to eat, yet due to her kindness to help an elderly person it gave her money and even treat her for launch, this was all just beginning of our suffering... We're doom on the very start. My mother poor choices aswell me who's powerless, naive and too good for his own...
At age of 7 my father had left again... Good thing my mother got an job on hospital as purchaser in purchasing department, she worked hard to have me fed and aswell my grand parents we take an rent always move house to house no permanent home.. all because of my grand mother who sell our house due to my auntie her house got foreclosure, she was after all my grand mother favorite.... While my mother didn't even received part of the money my grand father brought an jeep he takes out to be an jeepney driver when his still strong... Even then he sell it to gave my mother, and auntie because we're too poor... My mother was motivated by this...
Yet even this all time my father is out there we don't know or what is he doing...
I was exposed to cruelty of this world because I'm an single child without father guidance...
I went to play to see others with siblings, my mother constantly on job and my father who's always missing I was constantly being tricked and bullied by others...
My grand father is the only one I can talk too..
He loves actions and sometimes I was exposed to it
One time it was gore movie about zombie I didn't knew what kinda horror it was I caught an fever...
Then after that I kinda adapted to such environment even the bad personality of the kids around me
Such bad environment, broken family leads me to such failure of an life I regret even now today I'm 22
Let's roll back to when I was determined to live i seek love and comfort... I had idea... That will soon cost me to become hateful and megalomaniac... Love from other yeah right...
I went to find myself an girlfriend she was the only light and warmth I always seek, someone who pampers me...
I forget hate I knew joy and happiness with her at just age of 13 people would just call this puppy love
Who knew... This life would just take an dark turn...
After 8 months of relationship...
Her father and Uncle was an drug addict...
And they're also drunkards ... One day I was gonna visit her I heard her cries and scream... Her pleas
"Someone help me" she called out my name ... Over and over again... I was on panic I reached out to grab people outside, I seek their attention I wanted to because they're adult but all I had received was pushed away "brat go away, who had no time for antics" soon it went silent... And hours passed police came and ambulance... They took our her dead body... She had her head... Bashed by her father and Uncle and she was also found to be victim of rape from the very parent... From the very blood related people...
Yet those people I called and asked for help gathers to gossip "such an unfortunate child" my blood boils...
I was filled with despair, grief and sorrow...
Those emotions turned into rage...
Rage upon people... Rage into myself... My pathetic self who couldn't even jump in their fence I swore...I wish I could've turn back time... I wish if I could've just die with her... Atleast then... My life wouldn't been so depressing... Constantly living with hatred, seeking power... And seeking what lost that cannot be found...
Afterwards time goes on my highschool I bottled up these rage emotions... Now I'm leaking with such overwhelming emotions I kept dreaming of that nightmare that traumatic event... I couldn't even sleep normally I have to kept wide awake until I was too tired and just fainted to fall asleep so I can avoid constant nightmares hearing her voice... And he cried... Her scream... Want me to lash out and destroy everything at age of 12 I got Accessory Navicular
At age of 15 I was sick with mild scoliosis... Soon follows at age of 17 I got heart broken syndrome, I was diabetics hypoglycemia at 18 then follow up at 21 I got acute rhinitis I was allergic to perfume... My health plummet down, I'm not fit to work anymore my mental my health is just down to drain... I'm still hoping for 2nd chance in life... Now that I'm just too weak... To even live at this point... My father came back with us he got heart diseases aswell he got us debt in hospital for 55k pesos when we're so broke... He got it from drugs he uses we found out the time he went missing when I was age of 14 he gone into jail for 5 years we thought he died , my mother at age of 19 she loses her job due to her founder president ego she insulted because she was too tired to work for 2 job for only one person her stressed got the best of her and she crashed out at her boss got her fired... My life went to completely hell
Now I'm just counting time... I went to decide to tell others my story and this is just beginning... That I wished to fix... As I can only do nothing but imagine what if I was given 2nd chance to fix all the mistakes that got is into this... I would do everything... To become better