"Pfft—"
Hayashi blew a soundless whistle as he watched Erina, Hisako, and Sabrina walk out in their swimsuits, then remarked, "Is this a buy-one-get-two deal? Then I must've hit the jackpot?"
"Hmm? Who are the freebies here?" Sabrina raised an eyebrow, her eyes glowing blue as she gave Hayashi a dangerous smile. "If your answer doesn't satisfy me, I'll turn you into a doll—then you can only look, got it?"
"Gah! So what you're saying—" Hayashi immediately put on an exaggerated expression, "—is that I can do more than just look!?"
"?"
Sabrina couldn't keep up with Hayashi's train of thought. She turned to Erina and asked, "Has he always been like this?"
Erina nodded solemnly. "Unfortunately, yes."
"How long has the patient exhibited these symptoms?"
"For quite a while now."
"I see. Then... it might be beyond cure."
"No way... Doctor, please, try again!"
"Sorry, but even doctors have their limits."
"No—"
Hayashi stared blankly at Erina and Sabrina as they performed their little skit, then grumbled, "As much as I'm happy to see you two getting along, could you not casually diagnose me as incurable, huh!?"
Faced with his protest, Erina crossed her arms and retorted haughtily, "Hah? Are you saying that brain of yours—rivaling Ken○dy's—can still be saved?"
'Whoa, this pressure—' Hayashi felt his eyes glued to Erina's overwhelming presence—literally. Ah, so this is the law of universal gravitation, huh?
No, no!
Hayashi quickly averted his gaze and feigned shock. "Hey! With that attitude, you're never getting into heaven!"
Dammit! Since when did the proper young lady start telling dark jokes? Who the hell spread them to the Shokugeki world...
Oh, right. It was me.
Never mind.
Noticing Hayashi's stare, Erina deliberately ignored it and turned away with a huff. "Even if I go to hell, you're going first!"
Hayashi rubbed his chin, pondered for a few seconds, and said, "No big deal. Just type '1' and God and the angels will laugh with you—problem solved."
Beside them, Sabrina had already collapsed to her knees, clutching her stomach while pounding the floor, gasping for breath as she said, "No, no more, I really can't—if I laugh any more, I'll, I'll die—"
Her stomach, her stomach hurt so much! Her abs were completely wrecked!
Someone might ask, what about Hisako? Wasn't she just frantic earlier? Why isn't she saying anything now?
The answer is simple—because Erina had already changed into a swimsuit (though it was blue with water droplet patterns instead of pure black), so her dream had already come true.
Hisako: "I remember running under the sunset that day—it was the youth I had lost! So, in this life, I have no regrets!"
"Eevee! Eevee!"
Eevee, who had been standing by the door for a while, turned back and called out to Hayashi, "Hey, I've been waiting forever! Hurry up already!"
"Oh, right—" Hayashi scratched his head and turned to Erina, saying, "Shall we head out first? If we delay any longer, we might end up just admiring your swimsuit in the room."
Admiring a swimsuit in the room!? No matter how you think about it, that's just too weird! It feels like she changed into it just for him to see! And, and, changing into a swimsuit in the room specifically for a man to see—that, that, that's almost like, like, preparing to, to, do that kind of thing, right!?
At this thought, Erina's face flushed bright red, and she glared at Hayashi before stiffly saying, "L-let's just go already!"
Once again, Hayashi wore the expression of a confused 160cm-tall senpai as he watched Erina's retreating figure. He turned his innocent gaze toward Hisako and Sabrina and asked, "Why is she mad again?"
But Hisako had no time to spare for Hayashi's question—her mind was completely occupied by the image of Erina emerging from the pool like a water lily in full bloom, so she quickly followed after her.
"Don't look at me, I don't know either—" Sabrina rubbed her eight-pack abs and said to Hayashi, "Want me to ask her for you later?"
"Nah, it's fine. I'm not that curious." Hayashi waved his hand dismissively. "Let's go, let's go! To the pool!"
Hayashi felt like he'd really been through the wringer—after nearly an hour of chaos, he could finally go to the pool and admire the swimsuit-clad beauties!
Woo-hoo, here I come—
...
...
Aura—what exactly is aura?
The moment Erina, Hisako, and Sabrina made their dazzling entrance in swimsuits, the number of people in the pool instantly dwindled to three-quarters of its original count. The remaining were either single men or women confident enough in their own looks.
Those who weren't as self-assured had already dragged their boyfriends away by the ears—after all, if they stayed any longer, their men's eyeballs might pop right out of their sockets. Some were even drooling.
Because… well, ahem, because Pokémon is, after all, a kids' show, so the art style is quite different from something like Food Wars. And when that difference manifests in reality… well, those who get it, get it, okay?
"Ooooh—"
The moment Erina stepped into the water, Hayashi and Hisako simultaneously let out awed gasps as if witnessing a divine miracle. Hayashi couldn't help but mutter under his breath, "Holy moly, they can actually float!"
"!"
Erina's face turned bright red as she covered her chest with her hands, then glared at Hayashi, baring her teeth as she stammered, "Y-you—what are you even saying?!"
"I'm complimenting your figure!" Hayashi cheerfully gave a thumbs-up and said, "I'm truly grateful for the education provided by those yellow-and-black websites and Panda sites—otherwise, I'd definitely have to shed some nosebleeds as a sign of respect!"
"Well, someone already is bleeding from the nose."
Sabrina, standing nearby, raised a finger with a peculiar expression. Under her psychic control, the nosebleed dripping from Hisako obediently floated in midair, sparing the pool water from contamination.
"Huff… huff…"
However, Hisako, overwhelmed by her emotions, could no longer contain the overflowing loyalty in her heart. She was staring fixedly at Erina, who stood in the water with a flushed face, hands clutching her chest.
"My life… has no regrets—"
And with that, she fainted.
"Hisako!"
Panicked, Erina hurriedly pulled the motionless Hisako out of the pool where she had face-planted, then frantically patted her cheeks, shouting, "Hisako! Hisako!"
"Ah—"
At that moment, the Florges wrapped around Hisako's wrist saw its owner faint and quickly detached itself, floating in front of her and emitting a green glow.
"Mmm..."
Bathed in the light, Hisako groggily opened her eyes and murmured, "What's... huh? M-Miss Erina!?"
Upon realizing she was being held by Erina, Hisako's voice instantly shot up several octaves. And when she felt the soft, warm sensation of Erina's body pressed tightly against her...
"My life... has no regrets—"
Hisako fainted for the second time!
"Pfft... pfft pfft..."
Sabrina clung to the poolside, pounding the edge with laughter. She was immensely grateful she had decided to travel with Erina—otherwise, she would have missed so many hilarious moments!
Hilarious!
Absolutely hilarious!
"Hisako—!" Seeing Hisako faint again, Erina frantically turned to the sweating Florges beside her and said, "Little flower, can you heal her again?"
"Yah—"
Florges tilted its head in thought, then shook it and silently landed on Hisako's head, shaking its head once more.
Boss, as long as you're holding her, no matter how many times I revive her, she'll just faint again instantly! So please, just let her be!
"Ahem, well, Erina—" Hayashi suppressed his laughter as he sidled up to Erina and said, "I think physical contact might be too much for Hisako. Maybe let Sabrina take care of her instead."
"Mhm—" Sabrina nodded, barely holding back her laughter as she patted Erina's back. "Just go have fun with him. Leave Hisako to me."
"I-I'm not going to have fun with him!"
Blushing furiously, Erina shoved Hisako into Sabrina's arms and swam off toward Hayashi without looking back.
Hisako: ???
Hisako: After all this, I've been betrayed!
...
...
"H-how do I look?" Erina stood shyly in front of Hayashi, her left arm crossed over her chest while her right hand fiddled nervously with her hair.
"A goddess descended! No one here even comes close." Hayashi gave her a thumbs-up. "As expected of Erina—very good!"
Though her lips curled upward, Erina feigned modesty. "That's too much."
"Not at all!" Hayashi, with Eevee perched on his head, said seriously, "If I had a beauty meter, I'm sure your beauty level would measure up to 530,000!"
"Why 530,000 specifically?" Erina looked puzzled. "Is there some reference behind that number?"
"Of course! That's the initial power level of Frieza, the first true major villain in Dragon Ball—the Emperor of the Universe!" Hayashi gestured animatedly. "Let me tell you, when Frieza first appeared, the sheer oppressive presence of a final boss was off the charts! Compared to him, later villains like Cell and Buu just couldn't measure up!"
Erina looked on speechlessly as Hayashi enthusiastically began explaining just how awesome Frieza was. She let out a heavy sigh and inwardly complained, 'This hopeless straight guy! I already agreed to wear a swimsuit and go on a date with you—couldn't you at least compliment me a little more!? Do you really think a girl wears a swimsuit for a date just to hear you rant about how strong Frieza is!?'
No wonder you're still single to this day!!
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