Gu Xiaoqing deftly gathered the corn in the yard quickly. After all, she had been doing farm work for decades. When she was at home, she started working in the fields at a very young age.
Marrying Fu Guoqiang, who didn't care about anything, meant everything was up to her - both in the fields and at home. Fu Guoqiang wouldn't even lift a hand if an oil bottle fell, so Gu Xiaoqing was a very capable person.
This bit of corn was nothing she couldn't handle.
She looked at the sky; it had already turned gray.
It seemed it would rain today.
Gu Xiaoqing glanced at her own three-room shabby mud house, sighed, and took out a plastic sheet from the cupboard on the wall in the kitchen nearby. This was probably the only one left.
The last plastic sheet was borrowed by her second uncle.
This remaining one had early on been lent to Uncle Wang Zhiguo from the neighboring house and thus was spared.
It was 1984 now; though life was hard for people, compared to before, it was still better.
At the very least, getting enough to eat was not a problem. There were households like hers, living so difficultly, but not many. At least others could eat white flour buns.
Her family still had to mix cornmeal and sorghum flour to make black buns.
You could only say that her parents were too kind-hearted being persuaded by her grandparents, who said that her third uncle's family in town lived on state rations, with a specified quota distributed by age, so as the eldest, their family should help their brothers a little. Thus, every year, Third Uncle would take all the white flour after the autumn harvest.
Because the wheat yield was low and no family had much land, besides wheat, other high-yield crops had to be planted, or else people wouldn't have enough to eat.
Wheat wasn't planted entirely, so the yield was limited, but it was the same every year. Third Uncle never gave anything in return, not that Gu Xiaoqing sought anything from Gu Ruhe, but basic courtesy was expected.
Every year, Third Uncle Gu Ruhe would nag them, saying the flour wasn't ground finely enough, it was too coarse and too black, and eating it made his throat sting.
Gu Xiaoqing really wanted to say that even that coarse flour they hadn't had the chance to eat.
If you try those black buns, see if your throat still stings.
They never complained but others eating their family's best rations criticized them, and her parents still quietly took it.
Thinking of these things made Gu Xiaoqing feel furious.
Why did they have to give grain to Third Uncle's family every time while Second Uncle's family never did? Their family had fewer people but more than ten acres more land.
Even raising a college student, every year the harvest from the grandparents' fields all went to Second Uncle's Gu Xiaocheng and the village also subsidized. Every year Second Uncle coaxed Grandma to borrow money from their family for tuition, yet for three years, they never repaid any.
Gu Xiaoqing wasn't unaware of her father's thinking, believing they were family and couldn't be unhelpful, witnessing difficulties without lending a hand, but her father Gu Ruhai didn't consider why Second Uncle's Gu Xiaocheng was in university while they were still young siblings.
As the eldest brother, yet it was the younger brother who married first, started a family, and had kids early.
However, their own father, Gu Ruhai, was over thirty when they hurriedly found a matchmaker for their mother to start a family.
For many years, he had only been doing hard labor for the family, not only farming but also doing odd jobs to support the family, just because there was a brother going to school and another already having a family and kids to support.
Still, neither Second Uncle nor Third Uncle appreciated Gu Ruhai's sacrifice, taking it for granted as if this was how life should be and it was natural for Gu Ruhai to give so much.
The grandparents continuously shielded Second Uncle and Third Uncle, constantly instilling in Gu Ruhai not to divide brotherhood so clearly, as the eldest brother should naturally support the younger ones, as an elder brother should act like a father, so a little suffering isn't a big deal.
So the days just passed on like this one by one.
Gu Xiaoqing set up the wooden ladder from the yard vertically against the wall onto the roof. She had to hurry before the rain came, or the house wouldn't stand it.
With the plastic sheet tucked under her arm, she climbed up, laying the whole sheet over the roof. Thankfully this sheet, initially given as a courtesy by her maternal uncle's family, was big enough to cover the entire roof.
Gu Xiaoqing carefully treaded on the sturdy roof beams, firmly pressing the corners with pieces of tile to avoid them being blown away by the wind.
Seeing the completed roof, Gu Xiaoqing finally felt relieved.
She climbed down, put away the ladder.
Gu Xiaoqing hurried into the kitchen.
The three rooms in Gu Ruhai's house: one served as the kitchen and storage, another was the room for Gu Xiaoqing and Gu Xiaoying, the sisters.
And since Gu Xiaojie was still young, only five, he still slept with their parents in the main room.
The space was narrow, with only so much width.
But this was the home Gu Xiaoqing was familiar with for eighteen years.
She scooped two bowls of cornmeal and added a bowl of sorghum flour from the cupboard, kneading it into dough and letting it rise for a while before steaming buns.
She pulled a white radish from the small vegetable patch against the wall in the yard, finely slicing it for frying with chili in the evening for vegetables.
Meat, of course, wasn't considered. They couldn't afford meat except during New Year and festivals; even after slaughtering a pig, very little meat would make it to their mouths as most of it would be taken by Grandma and Second Uncle through some method.
Bringing a bundle of firewood from the yard, Gu Xiaoqing quickly opened the stove door and lit a fire. She boiled some water in the large pot, and once it was boiling, she covered the steamer grate with a cloth and steamed the black buns she had kneaded earlier.
She covered the pot and boiled cornmeal porridge in a smaller pot with chopped radish leaves, as villagers ate.
After all, it was still the '80s, not yet a time of prosperity.
Gu Xiaoqing sat in front of the stove, adding firewood while pondering. Returning now, she was twelve, in the year she graduated primary school, just because her grandparents told Gu Ruhai that a girl only needed to recognize a few words, stopping schooling early to help with household chores.
She could be used as labor, saving money, and lightening the family's burden. So after much consideration, Gu Ruhai decided not to let Gu Xiaoqing continue school.
Even though Gu Xiaoqing was the top graduate in the village school that year, she couldn't continue her education and officially became a village girl.
This time, Gu Xiaoqing was determined not to be swayed by her grandparents and to study, knowing from working outside for many years that knowledge and culture determined one's destiny.
To change her fate, one must not compromise first.
Since heaven allowed her to come back, then my fate is mine to decide, not heaven's.