"Woah, this is delicious!" Tae Jihwa exclaimed as he took another bite of tteokbokki. "You really do know the best food here."
I forced a small laugh. "Hahaha, glad you like it!"
But then I remembered—I wasn't sitting across from him as a friend. I was just a waiter. A nobody. "I have to get back to work, Tae Jihwa."
Ah, that smile again. Shone brighter than the stars. It was the kind of smile that lit up the whole room, like sunlight spilling through complete darkness. Why did it soothe me so much? Why did it make my chest ache?
"Just call me Jihwa, not my full name" he said, his voice softer now. He hesitated, fingers tracing the rim of his glass. "May I get your phone number?"
Oh, hell no. I froze. My throat tightened. I didn't even have my own phone. What excuse could I make? I always used my master phone for important work.
I bowed slightly, keeping my voice steady. "I apologize… I don't have my own phone."
He blinked, surprised. "Huh? Then how do you keep in contact with people?"
People. I almost laughed. As if I had anyone to contact. As if I had anyone who cared. But I couldn't tell him that my master dumped me here because I wasn't good enough for anything else. That restaurant belongs to Hyok and he got me the job. Why? I'm not even smart enough to have a good job. I couldn't even tell him I lived under someone's thumb, counting the minutes until another punishment.
I said the only thing that popped in my head. "My phone was stolen recently. I… haven't had a chance to buy a new one. I hope you understand."
Jihwa studied me for a moment—too long, like he could see through my skin. Then his lips curved again. As always smiling and remaining calm. I envy him. I want to smile brighter than him.
"Then shall we be friends? I can just come here every day. No need to contact each other."
Friends? The word made my heart stutter. No one had ever asked me that before. I never had friends, never had the chance to. If the Master found out… I swallowed hard. The thought of his anger made my stomach twist. I'll be punished. He will use him to worsen my hell whole and trap me in guilt.
"Are you always like this?," Jihwa said suddenly. "Are you… always so emotionless? You have these dead eyes, like you're not really here. You never really react."
"I, uhh… what?" I blinked, caught off guard.
Jihwa chuckled, his brightest smile flashing like a sparkler in the dark. That smile—it chipped away at my walls, warmed a corner of my broken soul I'd forgotten existed. I wanted to know what it felt like to have that kind of light. Before I could think, I reached forward and brushed my fingers along his lips, tracing them from one corner to the other.
His breath caught. "Uhm… Dohyun? Did you… by any chance… want to kiss me?" His face turned pink. "I guess I really am handsome, huh?"
I tilted my head, confused by his words. "To… be honest… I just wanted to know how it feels to smile."
Jihwa let out a soft laugh. "So you touched me?"
I bowed quickly, heat rushing to my face. "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize…" Jihwa murmured, his gaze soft, almost glowing in the lamplight. For a second, I swore I saw something in his eyes—a tiny star, warm and steady.
"Have you never smiled before?"
Suddenly questions started to conquer in my head.
"I don't recall. I never had the chance to. What is a smile? I want to feel that feeling I see in people. Their joy. Whenever I see those smiles, I wonder why I can't smile. I try to smile…..it's just….nvm" I shifted my gaze to the floor. "Are you done eating? Should I take your plate away?"
Then his eyes flicked to my lips. I didn't understand why. He stood from his chair, and for an awful moment my chest tightened, thinking he was leaving without another word. A strange disappointment gripped me. Was I really that worthless?
But before I could speak, Jihwa leaned closer, his hand lifting toward my face. I froze. His fingers pressed lightly at the corners of my mouth, trying to pull them upward.
"Didn't you say you wanted to smile?" he whispered with a teasing grin.
Something cracked inside me then—not just embarrassment, but something deeper, sadder, like a locked door swinging open. My lips trembled against his touch, and I didn't know if it was from laughter or the tears.
I still feel empty.
Jihwa's fingers stayed at the corners of my mouth, stubbornly tugging.
"Here—see? You look gorgeous. You should smile more often," he teased, voice soft but insistent.
"Gorgeous?" I scoffed under my breath, heat crawling up my ears. "I think you're confusing me with someone else."
"Nope." He grinned, leaning closer, as if daring me to pull away. "You just don't see it. You hide everything behind this… cold, blank face. It's like you're scared to let people know you feel anything."
"I'm not scared," I muttered, staring down at the tray in my hands. "Just… there's nothing to smile about."
"Then I'll give you something," Jihwa said, still holding my lips hostage with his fingers. "Come on. Just once. For me."
Then Jihwa let go of my face. I tried to bring the edge of my lips to curl but it wouldn't budge.I tried. I really did. It probably looked more like I was in pain than happy. Who knew smiling could hurt? Is everyone a sadist?
Jihwa chuckled. "That's not a smile. That's… I don't even know what that is."
"I told you, I don't know how," I said, irritation covering the strange sting in my chest.
"Then I'll teach you." He tilted his head, his eyes glimmering in the warm restaurant lights. "You deserve to smile. You really do. Everyone deserves to smile. And you are part of everyone."
The way he said it—it didn't sound like a joke. It sounded like he meant it. No one had ever said I deserved anything before. But do I really deserve to smile? Am I even allowed to? I'm not even everyone. Just a useless outcast. A lame recessive omega. I bet Jihwa will abandon me if he ever finds out.
Before I could answer, his phone buzzed loudly on the table, cutting through the quiet like a blade. Jihwa glanced at the screen. His smile faded.
"It's my dad," he murmured. "He doesn't usually call me unless it's important."
I froze. A dad who actually called. Someone who cared enough to check in. I swallowed hard. "It must be nice… having parents. A mom and a dad."
Jihwa looked up quickly, eyes sharp. For a second, he seemed upset. Then again smiled. "Dohyun…"
"What?" I said lightly, forcing a laugh I didn't feel. "They call to check on you. Worry if you're eating right. If you're smiling enough. It must be nice to have someone care if you're alive."
Jihwa's mouth curved, but not into a smile. "It's… not really like that. I don't have a mom..I have an alpha dad and a male omega who gave birth to me. I don't call him dad or sometimes papa."
I notice how his face flustered at the word "papa."
I blinked. "Well it's common in this society."
"Yeah." He rubbed his neck, looking oddly shy. "And I'm… just a beta. No heat nor rut, no instincts, nothing like them. Sometimes I wish I were an alpha. Maybe then I'd feel… stronger. Like I could actually protect people."
Protect people. My stomach turned. I hated this conversation already.
I hated the fact that I wasn't an alpha. I hated that I was born an omega, weak, marked by instincts I never asked for. I hated that no matter how hard I tried to be invisible, my body betrayed me. But I didn't say any of that to him. I never would. He wouldn't understand. No one did. They only ever care about themselves and their needs. They will only care for you if you are beneficial towards them.
"You're fine as you are," I muttered, keeping my eyes down.
Jihwa leaned closer, trying to catch my gaze. "Are you sure? You don't sound convinced."
"I don't think about stuff like that," I lied smoothly.
"Mm. Then I'll think about it for you." His smile returned, brighter this time, but his phone buzzed again. He glanced at it and sighed. "I should answer, but… I don't want to right now."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I like talking to you more than I like being lectured." Jihwa laughed, but there was a flicker of worry on his face. "My dad doesn't call me for no reason. It's probably about something serious."
"You should pick up," I said quickly, voice firmer than I meant. If my parents ever called me—which is dead—I'd… No. I wouldn't think about that. I didn't have parents to call. Not really.
Jihwa hesitated, then shoved his phone into his pocket. "It can wait."
My chest tightened. Why was he being so… warm? Why was he wasting it on me? "You shouldn't ignore family," I murmured.
"And you sound like someone who doesn't have any," Jihwa shot back, too casually, as if it weren't a knife to the ribs.
I went stiff. "…That's none of your business."
"Hey, I didn't mean it like that," he said quickly, holding up his hands. "I just meant… you talk like you're all alone. Like no one's waiting for you anywhere."
I forced my voice steady. "I have my master waiting for me."
"Wait, are you talking about Hyok? Right, you call him master from your S&M play? You still call him when your not doing your play." Jihwa questioned me.
"Uhhh…I guess I like calling him that way." I hesitated lying to him.
"Okay," Jihwa said quietly. He didn't push. Instead, he reached out again, brushing his thumb at the corner of my mouth. "But I'm still gonna make you smile, even if you hate me for it."
"I don't hate you," I said before I could stop myself. The words felt strange on my tongue.
"Good. Because I like seeing you like this." He grinned, stubborn as ever. "Even if your smile looks kinda broken. I'll fix it."
"Why?" I asked, frowning. "Why do you care?"
"Because someone should," he said simply.
I looked away, because if I looked at him too long, I might actually believe him. And believing him would be dangerous.
"Hey, what's your age?" Jihwa questioned me.
"Twenty seven, what about you?"
"Shall I call you Hyung then?"
"Uhh…what why?"
"Cuz I'm 22, so you are five years older than me. Ain't that cool." Jihwa said, smiling like a child. I noticed that he always covered his left eye with his hair. I wanted to ask but it's best not too. Don't get your hopes high Dohyun.
"Sure, do whatever makes you feel comfortable…"
I stared at Jihwa trying to make a smiling face but before he could respond about my smiling face. He suddenly again got a phone call from his dad.
"Pick it up. Must be important." I encouraged him.
Jihwa picked his phone up and I listened to the whole conservation.
"Hey dad. Something happened?"
"I'm at a restaurant. Why?"
"Alright I'll be there."
Jihwa hung up the phone. "I'm sorry Hyung, I'll talk to you tomorrow."
And by then he disappeared.