(Dohyun's pov)
I was still in bed laying down waiting for Jihwa to arrive but then I heard the soft click of the door and knew it was him before I saw him. My chest fluttered—not with fear, but with a strange, quiet anticipation.
"Jihwa…" I said softly.
He stepped in, eyes scanning me like he was expecting me to look fragile, broken. Instead, he froze.
I smiled. A small, careful smile, the kind that had always managed to calm me before.
His mouth opened, a word caught in his throat. "Dohyun… why… Why are you smiling?"
"Because it's over," I said, voice calm, almost peaceful.
His brows knitted. "Over? What… what do you mean?"
I shrugged lightly. "The… baby… Hyok's child… it's gone. Miscarriage."
Jihwa's eyes widened, confusion flashing across his face. He took a step closer, disbelief and anger mixing in the lines of his features. "Gone? And you… you're… happy?"
I nodded, lifting my hands to show I wasn't angry, and wasn't panicking. "I am. I… I feel free. Free from it. Free from him. Free from the reminder of everything he did to me."
His jaw tightened, and he breathed out sharply. "You… you shouldn't be happy about this! It was… a life!"
I laughed softly, bitter and short. "A life? It was never meant to be mine. It was Hyok's… a reminder of all the things he took. And now… it's gone. I can breathe again."
Jihwa took a sharp step toward me. "You… you can't just think like that!"
I held up a hand, still smiling faintly. "I can. I have every right. He used me, experimented on me, marked me… and this… this child would have been another chain. I won't be chained anymore."
His voice shook, caught between anger and despair. "Dohyun… how can you smile after… after all of this?"
I let my gaze meet his, steady now, filled with a strange mix of relief and lingering sorrow. "Because for the first time in years… I feel like I can live. I don't have to carry him inside me anymore. I can just… be."
He swallowed, struggling to understand. "But… it was still a part of you…"
"It wasn't part of me," I said firmly. "It was part of him, and now… it's nothing. Just nothing. And that… that feels like freedom."
Jihwa's shoulders slumped slightly, and I could see the hurt in his eyes. "I… I don't know what to say."
"Then don't," I murmured, letting my smile soften. "Just stay here. That's enough."
I leaned back against the pillows, eyes drifting to the window where the sunlight spilled in. For the first time in so long, I felt a strange, delicate calm. The past was still there, etched in every scar, every memory, every lingering ache… but for a moment, I could breathe.
And in that moment, I allowed myself to be… happy.
I leaned back into the pillows, letting the warmth of the sun wash over me. My chest rose and fell steadily, a small sense of peace lingering for the first time in months.
But then I felt it—the tension behind him. Jihwa's shoulders stiffened, his fists clenched at his sides. I glanced at him, smiling faintly.
"Why do you look like you want to scream at me?" I asked softly.
He took a step closer, voice tight. "Because… you can't just sit there and be happy about losing a child, Dohyun! You… you should be crying, screaming, anything but… this!"
I tilted my head, letting a quiet laugh escape. "Do you think I wanted this? That I enjoyed… any of it? It's gone. That's all I know. And somehow… I feel lighter."
His eyes darkened, glinting with a mix of anger and pain. "Lighter? Do you even hear yourself? It's… it's gone because of what he did to you, because of what you've been through! And you… you're smiling!"
"I survived," I whispered. "I survived him. I survived everything. This… losing this child… it's nothing compared to what I've been through. And I—" My voice faltered, my hands trembling. "I'm allowed to feel relief."
Jihwa's mouth pressed into a hard line. "Relief… at the cost of… at the cost of something that was yours too. Something that… could've been… a part of your life…"
"It wasn't mine!" I said sharply, the words cutting through the quiet. My chest heaved. "It was Hyok's. A mark of his possession. A reminder of the chains I've carried. And now… it's gone. I can breathe again. I… I feel like I can actually live. Can't you see that?"
He froze, swallowing hard, the anger faltering into something heavier—pain, worry, helplessness. "I… I just… I don't know how to deal with seeing you like this. Smiling… after everything… It makes me feel powerless. Like I can't protect you."
I softened, seeing the genuine fear and love in his eyes. "You can protect me, Jihwa. By being here. By not leaving. That's all I need."
His hands clenched at his sides again, then he sank into the chair beside me, staring at the floor. "I don't know if I can… just sit here while you… while this happened. I feel so useless…"
"You're not useless," I said quietly, reaching out my hand. "You're the only reason I can smile right now. Just… just stay."
He finally looked up, eyes glistening. "I… I don't know if I can understand you, Dohyun. But I… I'll stay. I'll stay, even if it kills me inside to see you happy after all this pain."
I let my hand rest in his, squeezing gently. "Then it's enough. That's all I need."
For the first time in so long, the room felt warm, safe. Not because everything was okay, but because someone had chosen to stay, even when it hurt them to watch me smile.
And somehow… that made surviving feel a little less unbearable.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, my hands shaking violently. "You don't understand… You can't. You can't know what it's like to wake up every day remembering every scar, every scream, every injection, every… touch that wasn't mine. To know that everything inside me was twisted to serve someone else… and that nothing was real. Nothing. And now…" My voice dropped to a whisper, barely audible. "Even this… the one chance I had… it's gone too."
Jihwa's lips pressed into a thin line, and I could see him trying not to cry. "I don't understand fully… but I'm here. That's all I can do. That's all I need to do."
I looked at him, really looked. His eyes were full of worry, guilt, love, and fear. And for a moment… that broke something in me. The wall I had built to survive, the shell I carried… it cracked.
"I'm tired," I said, my voice hoarse. "Tired of surviving. Tired of remembering. Tired of… being me."
He swallowed hard, his jaw tightening, but his hand never left mine. "Then rest. Rest here. Let me be with you. Let me shoulder it with you. I won't leave you, Dohyun."
I let myself sink against him, a sob escaping my chest. For the first time, I didn't care about looking strong, about controlling myself, about being the one who endured. I just let it out. All of it. The anger, the grief, the despair, the trauma — every part of me that had been buried under the weight of Hyok's shadow.
And Jihwa stayed. Silent, patient, his hand on my back, a tether to the world outside my pain.
"I… I hate that I can feel happiness in this," I whispered. "I hate that I can feel relief after… everything."
He shook his head gently. "It's not wrong to feel relief. It's not wrong to feel a little peace after hell. You deserve it, even if you don't believe it yet."
I let out a shaky laugh, bitter and broken. "I don't deserve anything."
"You deserve me," he said quietly. "You deserve to have someone stay, someone care, someone to fight for you when you can't. And I will. I promise. I'll never let him touch you again. I'll never let anyone take what's yours."
The weight of his words pressed against my chest, heavier than anything Hyok had ever done. And yet… somehow, it was comforting. Somehow, it gave me the strength to let go, if only for a moment.
I buried my face against my knees, letting him stay close, letting him keep me tethered. For the first time in years, I felt… almost safe.
Almost whole.
And Jihwa's quiet presence, his unwavering promise, became the only anchor I had left.
Later
The doctor came in.
The doctor's words barely registered at first.
"Your injuries have fully healed. There's no need to stay any longer," the doctor said, smiling professionally, though their eyes softened at the sight of me. "You can go home today."
I blinked, staring at the ceiling for a long moment. Home. A word that felt foreign after everything. After all the abuse, all the pain, all the nights spent feeling like my body and my choices weren't mine…
Jihwa was already at my side, his hand lightly brushing mine. "See? You're okay. You can go home now," he said gently, voice quiet, steady.
I didn't speak. I just let him guide me, helping me into my coat, steadying me as I stood. My legs trembled—not from weakness, but from the weight of everything I'd survived, and the strange relief of knowing I could finally leave this place.
The ride to his apartment was silent. Jihwa didn't push me to speak. I didn't have the words. How could I explain the strange mix of relief, sorrow, and exhaustion that clung to my chest? How could I describe the ache of losing the child, the freedom I felt at its absence, and the terror of the memories that still lingered?
When we finally stepped inside his apartment, I paused at the doorway, staring at the walls. It reminded me of the house I usee to live with Hyok. But having Jihwa there… It helped.
"You don't have to rush," he said softly, reading the hesitation in my eyes. "We'll take it slow. Step by step."
I let out a shaky breath, a small, almost imperceptible smile tugging at my lips. Not because I was happy. Not yet. But because for the first time in a long time, someone was here to help me carry everything. Someone I could trust.
I whispered, almost to myself, "I survived… and maybe… maybe I can live too."
Jihwa squeezed my hand gently. "We'll do it together. No matter what comes next."
And for the first time in months, I felt a fragile glimmer of hope—small, quiet, but real.