Tons… Tons… Tons… Ha!
Lu Yuan swaggered down the academy's stone path, wine jar in hand, humming cheerfully.
"Chen Xin, that old fellow… swooped down all grand when I was fighting Old Poison, threw a few fancy sword strikes, then ran away immediately after pretending to be cool. Hmph. Didn't even give me the fun of finishing things!"
He sighed, wobbling slightly. Life without a good brawl was boring.
"The road is far!"
A soft, sweet voice called from behind.
Lu Yuan turned with a grin… and froze. "Ma! Little beauty, it's you."
There stood Princess Xue Ke, of all people—wearing a pale pink coat, a short skirt showing smooth, slender legs, and cute white boots. She looked far less restrained than a princess should, almost fashionable in a way that radiated confidence.
Her lips curved happily when she saw him recognize her. "So you do remember me."
At first she'd been hesitant to wear such a bold outfit, afraid she might seem frivolous. But Lu Yuan's eyes lit the moment he turned—success!
All around, students halted in their steps. Murmurs rippled.
"Isn't… isn't that Princess Xue Ke?"
"It is! By the gods, when have we seen her dressed like this?"
"She actually came out looking so… provoking!"
"And look who she's with—it's him again. Lu Yuan!"
"Unacceptable! Princess Xue Ke is my goddess. I only glimpsed her last year at the royal ceremony—and now this shameless drunk has his hand on her shoulder?!"
"You see the royal etiquette handbook? It definitely doesn't allow a princess to dress like that!"
"Shhh, be quiet, you wanna get us killed?"
The noble students gritted their teeth until jaws ached. Envy, jealousy, rage—it burned them alive. But none dared interfere.
Lu Yuan, oblivious to their glares, leaned lazily against Xue Ke's fragrant shoulder. "Little beauty, you came to find me?"
"Yes," she answered with as much calm as she could manage. Her heart fluttered nervously—so many eyes on them. "I want to take you somewhere."
His grin widened immediately. "Does it have wine?"
"I made sure," she said quickly, determination flashing. She'd already learned the key—offer wine first, and success follows.
"Good! Let's go, then!" Lu Yuan slung an arm over her, staggering forward casually.
From the sidelines, nobles let out strangled groans.
Man and God alike infuriated!
Before long, Lu Yuan squinted at the tall, majestic five-story building before them. The plaque read elegantly: Yuexuan.
"Yuexuan…? Hm, familiar name…" he muttered. Then nodded firmly. "Definitely a restaurant! Nice one, little beauty, let's go in and drink!"
But as he pushed toward the entrance, two young men in blue robes blocked his way.
"Apologies. Yuexuan does not accept drunks."
"Eh? What nonsense is that! Which restaurant in the world refuses paying customers?" Lu Yuan argued, trying to push past.
"We are not a restaurant." The young men's faces twitched. "Please take him back."
"Stop!"
Xue Ke swept forward, frowning. "Don't you even recognize me?"
The attendants blinked—then their eyes nearly popped out of their heads. "…P-Princess?!"
Her presence erased any further resistance. "This is my guest."
The pair instantly bowed and stepped aside.
Inside Yuexuan, Lu Yuan's eyes sparkled. "Now this is more like it!"
His gaze swept over the elegantly dressed noble daughters moving gracefully on the first floor. Dancers, in his mind.
"Look at this! Your restaurant even has performers. Good! Hey—get them to dance for me!"
The staff turned pale. "Sir… they are not dancers…"
Lu Yuan waved it off, completely unconcerned, but Xue Ke quickly grabbed his sleeve and hurried him upstairs. "Come on, I've got something better to show you."
At the top of the stairs a calm, beautiful woman in silver robes greeted them with serene grace. "Welcome."
Her poise, her elegance—it silenced the hall when she raised her hand even slightly.
"Tang Yuehua, at your service."
Lu Yuan's jaw loosened. "Big sis, you're not bad looking! Came all this way to drink too?"
For the first time in memory, Yuehua's composure wavered. This incorrigible man, addressing her so lightly? And yet… something about his tone made her heart skip strangely.
"I don't drink," she replied softly. "But you may drink, if you wish."
"Don't drink? What's even the point of that?" he complained, though without real malice. He turned instead to Xue Ke. "Come on, little beauty, drink with me."
"I-I…" Xue Ke faltered. The wine was strong. "No, not today."
Lu Yuan let it go immediately, chuckling. "If you don't want to, I won't push. But if it were those annoying nobles in the Academy who refused? I'd make them 'drink' with my fist."
He tilted back the jar. Tons… Tons… Tons…
[Ding! Host health confirmed. Right arm spirit bone age +800 years.]
"Ha! Good wine!"
Eyes sparkling, he waved at her. "Little beauty, you gotta get me more of this."
Xue Ke's heart raced as she clutched at her skirt. The first flower he ever gave me… now wine. I'll do it. I'll find a way for him, she swore silently.
Then, with drunken generosity, Lu Yuan fumbled at his soul guidance device and pulled out a soft-petaled white flower. "Here. Don't know what it's called… but just eat it."
It was one of the immortal herbs he'd dug up. Oddly enough, anything poisonous turned to ash at the mere contact of his sword. But those safe to consume he kept carefully preserved.
Xue Ke gasped softly, palms trembling as she accepted the delicate bloom. Her heart pounded—it felt like a proposal.
"Th-thank you…"
She thought furiously about what to tell her father when she explained how she obtained something like this.
Meanwhile, Lu Yuan glanced around lazily, still convinced of his own version of reality. "Big sis, your restaurant's pretty good. Wine, pretty girls, nice dancers. I'll come often!"
Tang Yuehua… was speechless. For the first time in years, her refined air slipped inside, a ripple of inexplicable curiosity stirring in her chest.
"I suppose… if you like, Yuexuan will welcome you."
"Good! But it's still boring if you don't drink."
He staggered upright, leaning on Xue Ke for balance as they moved toward the exit.
"Big sis, I'll visit again in a few days!" he announced, tossing her a wink.
Tang Yuehua's breath caught. For reasons she couldn't explain, his unruly grin lingered in her mind far longer than she cared to admit.
Xue Ke flushed red all the way to her ears as she half-carried him out.
In Lu Yuan's mind one thing was certain: immortal herbs might be good, but compared to wine? They didn't even come close.
--
Unlock 50 exclusive advanced chapters for just $10 – don't miss out! Check the synopsis/description for the link! 🚀
Loved this fic? 🔥 Then you'll absolutely binge my other hits — "Douluo Dalu: Ten Thousand Years Early System!" & "Douluo Dalu: My Harem System is Bugged!" — don't miss out!