Jaemin sat hugging his knees to his chin on the couch, every muscle a coiled spring as he listened to the muffled voices from outside the door, a low rumble of accusation and Jaehyun's steady calm. He heard the demanding growl, and then the soft thud as the conversation ended and the door shut, sealing off his sanctuary once more. He didn't know what had been said. All he knew was that his hiding place had been found, and that Kang Do-hyun had come to his door.
He buried his face in his arms, trembling uncontrollably as the floral scent of his distress bloomed in the air, cherry blossoms sweet and cloying. He was a lie made of music and a stolen identity, and now he was sure that the Seoul Philharmonic Symphony, his hope to rebuild himself and his career, was shut off from him forever.
"Jaemin-ah." A voice full of soft concern cut through his panic. Jaehyun knelt beside him, his clean citrus smell a grounding presence. He didn't touch him, respecting the space Jaemin's distress commanded, but simply waited, a safety buoy in a sea of panic. "Breathe," he said gently. "Listen to my voice. In and out, steady rhythm."
Jaehyun took a deep, shaky breath and hummed a low, calming tune, a melody of simple, rising and falling notes. It was a familiar trick Jaehyun had taught him, a sound-based grounding exercise that worked to untangle the knotted strings of Jaemin's anxiety.
Slowly, the tremors began to subside, and his panic receded, becoming a faint, exhausted echo, faraway enough for Jaemin to ask, voice still wobbly: "What did you tell him?"
"He wanted to talk to you. I refused, especially since he was the source of your distress," Jaehyun said, his voice devoid of judgment. "But he was desperate."
Jaehyun watched as Jaemin shuddered, but when the omega didn't speak, he continued carefully, "He asked for you. He said, 'He is the conductor of my orchestra.'"
Jaemin flinched as if struck. The idea was impossible. Kang Do-hyun, with his furious cedar scent that made Jaemin's head spin and ache, his brutal honesty, and his ruthless drive, had seen him as nothing but a coward and a liar.
"That can't be. He was furious. He called me a coward and a fraud. He said I had no right to lead the orchestra," Jaemin said shakily, then added in a whisper, "He was right."
"He's an alpha, Jaemin-ah. To him, he had to submit to you, a beta. He gave you his trust, laid down his arms, but now he thinks you lied. His reaction is a defense mechanism." Jaehyun shook his head, sighing. "He's not angry about your identity. He's angry because he feels betrayed."
Jaemin gave a small, wet laugh. "I guess they can just replace me with a more confidence-inspiring alpha then. What's another conductor, right? There are so many of them out there."
Jaehyun hummed quietly, thinking. "It didn't sound like he wanted that. He didn't come here to cause you pain… He was sorry, even though he never said it."
"Of course he does. I betrayed him." Jaemin gave another bitter chuckle, eyes growing moist again.
Contemplating the omega in front of him, he decided to shift the conversation. "But it doesn't matter right now what he wants. Jaemin-ah… what is it you want?"
Jaemin's immediate answer was honest and raw. "I want to run away from everything," he said tiredly.
"Do you now." Jaehyun's tone was carefully neutral. "I wouldn't blame you if you did, after how things went down."
Jaemin nodded as he wiped his eyes. "Yeah. But… their music… We were getting somewhere, hyung. They had it. They sounded so beautiful when they finally learned how to listen to each other and play properly together… I was so proud. Of them, of what we were creating together…" His chin trembled as his eyes filled again. "I really wanted to see it through," he whispered, voice breaking.
Jaehyun stayed quiet, holding space for the conclusion he knew would come.
"I've been running away for so long," Jaemin whispered, the confession a low, heartbreaking murmur. "I can't run anymore. I want to do this. I don't want to stay a victim forever. But… but I'm so tired, hyung. I don't know if I can."
Jaehyun put a gentle hand on his shoulder, its weight grounding. "Rebuilding takes strength and courage, Jaemin-ah. Take all the rest you need, then you'll be ready to make a decision. You know you'll have to face it sooner or later. Just… don't wait until you find the choice has been made for you."