(TW: dubcon recount)
"It was years ago." Voice wobbling, Jaemin began, not daring to look at Do-hyun. "Before I started taking suppressants. I was on my own in Vienna, on a scholarship. My family didn't have the money to come with me.
"I met Choi Seungcheol at the music academy, and we immediately hit it off. He was as passionate about music as I was, also studying to be a conductor, so we ended up spending a lot of time together, both in and outside of lessons.
"Back then, he and I… we were close. He was the first person I trusted with my music. He was the only one I'd ever show my work-in-progress to.
"We never actually spoke about my secondary gender. I had presented late, my pheromones were weak, and I never had a heat. Most people assumed I was a beta. As an alpha, maybe he knew… I don't know. We never talked about it, although there were times when I suspected he knew, because he would cover for me, stand up for me." He trailed off, a flash of old hurt crossing his face. "I came to rely on him. He was… I thought he was my... my person."
Do-hyun's expression darkened, his jaw tightening. He said nothing, simply waited for Jaemin to continue.
Jaemin swallowed, the memory of that blind faith a fresh ache. "Towards the end of the last semester, we had a final project due. We were each supposed to submit a full original score. All of us already knew it was coming early on, so I'd been working on it across the last year or so… The Conductor's Oath. I put everything I had into it. I had almost finished it when... when my body decided to betray me." He let out a shaky breath.
"It was very sudden, or maybe I just didn't know the signs. I started feeling ill, all the scents around me were overwhelming, and everything was just… burning up.
"I locked myself in my dorm room to ride it out, but it was worse than I had imagined. I was confused and disoriented. He came to check on me." Jaemin's voice was now a ghost of a whisper, the memory of his innocence and trust a bitter poison on his tongue. "He told me that, as an alpha, he could help."
"So you spent it with him." Do-hyun's voice was flat, his words forcibly devoid of emotion.
Jaemin flinched, but didn't deny it. There was no room for obfuscation. He owed Do-hyun the entire truth, and there was no denying what had happened, no matter how many times across the years he had wished that he could take it back.
"I trusted him. He held me, and... and it helped. The haze cleared just enough for me to see him, to hear him. He said... he asked me to let him mark me, to make it easier for me.
"I was… I thought I was in love with him," Jaemin choked on the confession of an old, naive self he barely recognized, "and because of that, I think I said okay, but in that state, I didn't really know what I was doing. I just wanted the pain to stop.
"So he bit me, and the venom knocked me out completely. I thought it was just part of the process, but my head began to spin, and the world went dark. It was as if someone had just flipped a switch inside me."
Do-hyun went completely still, his body an unmoving statue. The sharp, acrid scent of his rage vanished, replaced by a sudden, frightening stillness that made the hairs on Jaemin's arms stand up. Do-hyun's eyes were no longer hurt, but utterly empty of any emotion, the cold, still surface of a deep ocean hiding a powerful and unseen current beneath.
Jaemin soldiered on with his recount. "I woke up two days later. He wasn't there. My heat had passed, but I felt worse than ever. The mark was still bleeding, and it was giving me headaches.
"The final project was still due, but my score for The Conductor's Oath was gone. I searched everywhere: the folder, the backups... They were all gone. " He finally looked at Do-hyun, his eyes wide and pleading, even though he knew he had no right to ask anything of the man in front of him. "And when I went to the dean's office, I found out that he had submitted it as his own while I was unconscious."
Do-hyun's eyes widened, his mind joining the dots among the fragments Jaemin had already told him, so many nights ago in a quiet café. "And then he followed you back here," he said, his voice low and dangerous. It wasn't a question. He took a single, slow step toward Jaemin, his hands clenching into fists at his sides.
"I'm sorry." Jaemin swallowed, voice thick. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you all this earlier. It's… everything that I've been trying to put behind me, to forget and never have to think about again." He looked up at Do-hyun, expression helpless as he whispered, "I told you to forget about me, to leave it be."
Do-hyun's body began to tremble, and Jaemin flinched, instinctively bracing himself. He had seen that kind of coiled rage before, a brutal, possessive fury that could lash out at anyone nearby.